THE joke thread

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  • PSOVLSK
    PSOVLSK Posts: 5,134
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    wa3keh6zc6nx.jpeg
    Things work out best for those who make the best of the way things work out.-John Wooden
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,912
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    690cjgm9hm7h.png
    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,912
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    zyqpbt0hzkol.png
    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
  • soundfreak1
    soundfreak1 Posts: 3,399
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    Got any leftovers???
    Main Rig:
    Krell KAV 250a biamped to mid/highs
    Parasound HCA1500A biamped to lows
    Nakamichi EC100 Active xover
    MIT exp 1 ic's
    Perreaux SA33 class A preamp
    AQ kingcobra ic's
    OPPO 83 CDP
    Lehmann audio black cube SE phono pre, Audioquest phono wire (ITA1/1)
    Denon DP-1200 TT. AToc9ML MC cart.
    Monster HTS 3600 power conditioner
    ADS L1590/2 Biamped
    MIT exps2 speaker cable
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,912
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    mzlzrqwgb6hv.jpg


    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
  • mrbigbluelight
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    Oh...my sides are hurting....
    ....I think I broke some ribs...
    ...somebody call an ambulace
    😁😅😂🤣🤣🤣🤣
    Sal Palooza
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,912
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    g6v1n1uroj1v.png

    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,912
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    63nyvl0phs7l.png


    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
  • audioluvr
    audioluvr Posts: 5,483
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    So Tony. Everything all right at home? Asking for a friend.
    Gustard X26 Pro DAC
    Belles 21A Pre modded with Mundorf Supreme caps
    B&K M200 Sonata monoblocks refreshed and upgraded
    Polk SDA 1C's modded / 1000Va Dreadnaught
    Wireworld Silver Eclipse IC's and speaker cables
    Harman Kardon T65C w/Grado Gold. (Don't laugh. It sounds great!)


    There is about a 5% genetic difference between apes and men …but that difference is the difference between throwing your own poo when you are annoyed …and Einstein, Shakespeare and Miss January. by Dr. Sardonicus
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,912
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    g9861n7wvn4p.png

    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,912
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    xxyw0loct12e.png

    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,912
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    A Martian couple and an Earthling couple have met and are talking about all sorts of things. Finally, the subject of sex comes up. "Just how do you guys do it?" asked the Earthling. "Pretty much the way you do," responded the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. The female Earthling and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weeny member; very short and very narrow. "What can you do with THAT!?" exclaims the woman. "Why?" he asked, "What's the matter?" "Well," she replied, "it's nowhere near long enough. It'll never reach!" "No problem," he said and proceeded to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grew until it was quite impressively long. "Well," she said. "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty narrow." "No problem," he said again and started pulling his ears. With each pull his member grew wider and wider until the entire measurement was extremely exciting to the woman. "Wow!" she exclaimed as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love. The next day the couples rejoined their normal partners and went off together. As they walked along the Earthling male said, "Well, was it any good?" "I hate to say it," she said, "but it was really wonderful. How about you?" "Well," he said, "It was the weirdest thing. She kept slapping me on the forehead and pulling my ears all night."

    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,912
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    b63nlqmmrh49.png


    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
  • treitz3
    treitz3 Posts: 18,545
    edited December 2022
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    50 bucks...

    zpoag8fv1s3k.png

    Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.' Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that Helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

    One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 Years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.' To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

    The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take both of you for a ride, and if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you. But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars.'

    Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

    When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'

    Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars.’


    Tom
    ~ In search of accurate reproduction of music. Real sound is my reference and while perfection may not be attainable? If I chase it, I might just catch excellence. ~
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 11,059
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    pdx3xlgm4xqv.png
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 11,059
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    i9cvprz3y1px.png
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 11,059
    edited December 2022
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    99uqsawjafgn.png
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 11,059
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    siol3cqgx2bb.png
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 11,059
    edited December 2022
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  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,912
    Options
    t4rks6cuhq62.jpg




    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
  • OleBoot
    OleBoot Posts: 2,248
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    DRINK DRIVING WARNING
    I know we are all responsible adults, but this is a warning to be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas.
    A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends after work. One thing lead to another and I had a few too many pints and then topped it off with a couple of jaegerbombs. Not a good idea. Knowing full well I was over the limit, I did something I’ve never done before...
    I left my motorbike in town and took a taxi home. Sure enough, I passed a police checkpoint where they were pulling over drivers and performing breathalizer tests. Because I was in a taxi they just waved it past. I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise..
    I've never driven a taxi before and I am not even sure where I got it from.
  • skipshot12
    skipshot12 Posts: 1,035
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    Bahahaaaaa…
    I fell for it.


  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 11,059
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    43xub5qnt89c.png
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,213
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    What do you call a rock band formed by Catholic priests???



    The Grateful Bread!
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
  • OleBoot
    OleBoot Posts: 2,248
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    A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them.
    At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50.
    The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agreed to drive thirty miles each, find a field in which to let the pigs mate.
    The first morning, the farmer with the female pigs got up at 5 A.M., loaded the pigs into the family station wagon, (which was the only vehicle he had) and drove the thirty miles. While the pigs were mating, he asked the other farmer,
    "How will I know if they are pregnant?"
    The other farmer replied, "If they're lying in the grass tomorrow morning, they're pregnant. If they're in the mud, they're not."
    The next morning the pigs were rolling in the mud. So he hosed them off, loaded them into the family station wagon again and proceeded to try again. This continued each morning for more than a week. Both farmers were worn out.
    The next morning he was too tired to get out of bed. He called to his wife,
    "Honey, please look outside and tell me whether the pigs are in the mud or in the grass."
    "Neither," yelled his wife. "They're in the station wagon and one of them is honking the horn."
  • Viking64
    Viking64 Posts: 6,776
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    ^^^^ That's the CLEAN version of that pig joke. :p
  • audioluvr
    audioluvr Posts: 5,483
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    I don't get it...
    Gustard X26 Pro DAC
    Belles 21A Pre modded with Mundorf Supreme caps
    B&K M200 Sonata monoblocks refreshed and upgraded
    Polk SDA 1C's modded / 1000Va Dreadnaught
    Wireworld Silver Eclipse IC's and speaker cables
    Harman Kardon T65C w/Grado Gold. (Don't laugh. It sounds great!)


    There is about a 5% genetic difference between apes and men …but that difference is the difference between throwing your own poo when you are annoyed …and Einstein, Shakespeare and Miss January. by Dr. Sardonicus
  • smartie_panta
    smartie_panta Posts: 189
    edited January 2023
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    audioluvr wrote: »
    I don't get it...

    You see here, son... When two pigs love each other very much, they....
  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,213
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    audioluvr wrote: »
    I don't get any....

    Fixed….
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson