THE joke thread
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Used to live in Wilmington. No change necessary.
What the heck is she doing to that nozzle?I disabled signatures. -
Scott!!!! She's uh, doing what a good and experienced gal would do, she's preparing it for proper insertion.Source: BRP Panasonic UB9000, CDP Emotiva ERC3 - Display: LG OLED EVO 83 C3 - Pre/Pro: Marantz 8802A - Amplification: Emotiva XPA-DR3, XPA-2 x 2, XPA-6, Speakers, Mains/2ch-Focal Kanta No2's, C-LSiM706, S-702F/X, RS-RTiA9's, WS-RTiA9's, FH-RTiA3's, Subs - Epik Empire x 2
Cables: AudioQuest McKenzie XLR's/CDP/Amp, Carbon 48/BRP, Forest 48/Display, 2 channel speaker cable: Furutech FS Alpha 36 12AWG PCOCC Single Crystal (Douglas Connection)
EXPERIENCE: next to nothing, but I sure enjoy audio and video MY OPINION OF THIS HOBBY: I may not be a smart man, but I know what quicksand is.
When I was young, I was Superman but now that old age has gotten the best of me I'm only Batman -
The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
My wife asked for some peace and quiet last night while she was cooking.... so I turned off the smoke detector.The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
A caring mother goes to check the stick her young daughter left on the bathroom counter a few minutes before, confirming that she is going to become a grandmother. She goes to the living room to share the news... the daughter becomes visibly upset, knowing her life as she planned it, was over.
"How can this be!?" the girl cries...
"Well... If the stork is the bird that delivers babies, which one prevents them?", the mother asks.
"How the hell am I supposed to know!" the frustrated girl fired back.
"Have you ever heard of the swallow?"
The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
Nine months before I was born, I went to a party with my dad, and left with my mom...
The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
Why don't you want to iron your leprechaun?
You don't want to press your luck!!Source: BRP Panasonic UB9000, CDP Emotiva ERC3 - Display: LG OLED EVO 83 C3 - Pre/Pro: Marantz 8802A - Amplification: Emotiva XPA-DR3, XPA-2 x 2, XPA-6, Speakers, Mains/2ch-Focal Kanta No2's, C-LSiM706, S-702F/X, RS-RTiA9's, WS-RTiA9's, FH-RTiA3's, Subs - Epik Empire x 2
Cables: AudioQuest McKenzie XLR's/CDP/Amp, Carbon 48/BRP, Forest 48/Display, 2 channel speaker cable: Furutech FS Alpha 36 12AWG PCOCC Single Crystal (Douglas Connection)
EXPERIENCE: next to nothing, but I sure enjoy audio and video MY OPINION OF THIS HOBBY: I may not be a smart man, but I know what quicksand is.
When I was young, I was Superman but now that old age has gotten the best of me I'm only Batman -
Just saw a joke that I rather liked, so I am posting it here.
A WIFE Sends a Message to Her HUSBAND
WIFE: “Honey, please don't forget to buy bread when you're coming home from work, and lest I forget... Your girlfriend Elizabeth is also here and says hello to you.”
HUSBAND: Who is Elizabeth?
WIFE: Nobody, I just wanted you to respond, so I can have confirmation that you saw my message.
HUSBAND: But I’m with Elizabeth right now, I thought you saw us!
WIFE: What! Where are you?
HUSBAND: Near the neighbourhood bakery.
WIFE: Wait, I’m coming right now!
After 5 minutes, his wife sends a message:
WIFE: I’m at the bakery, where are you?
HUSBAND: I’m at work. Now that you’re at the bakery, please buy the bread and go home!
(ASR)
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One smart cookie...lol
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mhardy6647 wrote: »Just saw a joke that I rather liked, so I am posting it here.
A WIFE Sends a Message to Her HUSBAND
WIFE: “Honey, please don't forget to buy bread when you're coming home from work, and lest I forget... Your girlfriend Elizabeth is also here and says hello to you.”
HUSBAND: Who is Elizabeth?
WIFE: Nobody, I just wanted you to respond, so I can have confirmation that you saw my message.
HUSBAND: But I’m with Elizabeth right now, I thought you saw us!
WIFE: What! Where are you?
HUSBAND: Near the neighbourhood bakery.
WIFE: Wait, I’m coming right now!
After 5 minutes, his wife sends a message:
WIFE: I’m at the bakery, where are you?
HUSBAND: I’m at work. Now that you’re at the bakery, please buy the bread and go home!
(ASR)
Source: BRP Panasonic UB9000, CDP Emotiva ERC3 - Display: LG OLED EVO 83 C3 - Pre/Pro: Marantz 8802A - Amplification: Emotiva XPA-DR3, XPA-2 x 2, XPA-6, Speakers, Mains/2ch-Focal Kanta No2's, C-LSiM706, S-702F/X, RS-RTiA9's, WS-RTiA9's, FH-RTiA3's, Subs - Epik Empire x 2
Cables: AudioQuest McKenzie XLR's/CDP/Amp, Carbon 48/BRP, Forest 48/Display, 2 channel speaker cable: Furutech FS Alpha 36 12AWG PCOCC Single Crystal (Douglas Connection)
EXPERIENCE: next to nothing, but I sure enjoy audio and video MY OPINION OF THIS HOBBY: I may not be a smart man, but I know what quicksand is.
When I was young, I was Superman but now that old age has gotten the best of me I'm only Batman -
Sal Palooza
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mrbigbluelight wrote: »
Would you like a ......cookie..... -
mrbigbluelight wrote: »
Would you like a ......cookie.....
Dough-n't get me started 🥴
Best we leven it alone 😁
...I need to take a nap 🛌
Sal Palooza -
Why did the chicken cross the road ?
To prove to the possum that it was possible.
Sal Palooza -
I'm going to buy 100s of blowup dolls and fill them with helium and let them go during the solar eclipse so people think it's the rapture 😆 🤣The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
That's funny as hell. I know I'm sick but that's still funny as F.Main Rig:
Krell KAV 250a biamped to mid/highs
Parasound HCA1500A biamped to lows
Nakamichi EC100 Active xover
MIT exp 1 ic's
Perreaux SA33 class A preamp
AQ kingcobra ic's
OPPO 83 CDP
Lehmann audio black cube SE phono pre, Audioquest phono wire (ITA1/1)
Denon DP-1200 TT. AToc9ML MC cart.
Monster HTS 3600 power conditioner
ADS L1590/2 Biamped
MIT exps2 speaker cable -
Tom
~ In search of accurate reproduction of music. Real sound is my reference and while perfection may not be attainable? If I chase it, I might just catch excellence. ~ -
My wife and I loved this.
SO YOU COWARDS think you're tough because you jumped me? Waited for me to be alone..... on my dang porch???? 😡 I still handled all of you, left 3 of you on the ground laid out!! You're lucky I don't have any marks on my face. I have some on my arms and neck, so what!!!! I bet you didn't expect me to swing back since it was six against one. I might be old but I'm not too old for this!!! Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I was getting tired of fighting and just wanted to go back in the house but I kept on swinging and made sure you got yours.. PUNKS!!!!! All I have to say is, you started this and I finished it.....
I hate mosquitos 🦟!! Mosquitos are not my friends!!!Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them. -
Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them. -
REINCARNATION
by Wallace McRae
“What does Reincarnation mean?”
A cowpoke asked his friend.
His pal replied, “It happens when
Yer life has reached its end.
They comb yer hair, and warsh yer neck,
And clean yer fingernails,
And lay you in a padded box
Away from life’s travails.”
“The box and you goes in a hole,
That’s been dug into the ground.
Reincarnation starts in when
Yore planted ‘neath a mound.
Them clods melt down, just like yer box,
And you who is inside.
And then yore just beginnin’ on
Yer transformation ride.”
“In a while, the grass’ll grow
Upon yer rendered mound.
Till some day on yer moldered grave
A lonely flower is found.
And say a hoss should wander by
And graze upon this flower
That once wuz you, but now’s become
Yer vegetative bower.”
“The posy that the hoss done ate
Up, with his other feed,
Makes bone, and fat, and muscle
Essential to the steed,
But some is left that he can’t use
And so it passes through,
And finally lays upon the ground
This thing, that once wuz you.”
“Then say, by chance, I wanders by
And sees this upon the ground,
And I ponders, and I wonders at,
This object that I found.
I thinks of reincarnation,
Of life and death, and such,
And come away concludin’: ‘Slim,
You ain’t changed, all that much.'”
The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
HT SYSTEM-
Sony 850c 4k
Pioneer elite vhx 21
Sony 4k BRP
SVS SB-2000
Polk Sig. 20's
Polk FX500 surrounds
Cables-
Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable
Kitchen
Sonos zp90
Grant Fidelity tube dac
B&k 1420
lsi 9's -
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. ☕️
'What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.
The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'
'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.
The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them. -
It is also perfectly acceptable to let them know their special day would not be possible without us, so perhaps they should be taking us out for dinner in exchange for that breakfast in bed.The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them. -
...Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
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I got cut off by a taxi driver last week.
I was walking through town today and I saw him at the back of the queue at the taxi rank.
I got in the first taxi in the queue and said "How much to the station ?"
"$5" said the driver. "And how much for a **** ?" I asked him.
"That's disgusting" he said "Get out of my cab"
I got in the second taxi and said "How much to the station ?".
"$5" said the driver. "And how much for a **** ?" I asked him.
"I'm not having any of that" he said "Get out of my cab"
I worked my way down the line, getting thrown out of each taxi in turn, until I came to my target at the back of the queue.
"How much to the station ?". "$5" said the driver.
"Ok" I said "Let's go"
As we pulled out and overtook the other taxis I wound the window down and gave all the other drivers a thumbs up with a big grin on my face!!. -
Chuck Norris went to a woman's rally and left with an ironed shirt and a sandwich.
....that should have read
"a sammich". 👍Sal Palooza
https://youtu.be/alz9GR6Ld_c?si=RGlDPnQrcL1jnLxk
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HyIcOikc3Aw&pp=ygUaMyBhbGllbnMgdGVsbGluZyBkYWQgam9rZXM%3D
