THE joke thread

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Comments

  • msg
    msg Posts: 9,419
    bcwsrt wrote: »
    Used to live in Wilmington. No change necessary.

    n0z32ukocdp6.jpeg

    What the heck is she doing to that nozzle?
    I disabled signatures.
  • Geoff4rfc
    Geoff4rfc Posts: 2,147
    msg wrote: »
    bcwsrt wrote: »
    Used to live in Wilmington. No change necessary.

    n0z32ukocdp6.jpeg

    What the heck is she doing to that nozzle?

    Scott!!!! She's uh, doing what a good and experienced gal would do, she's preparing it for proper insertion.
    Source: BRP Panasonic UB9000, CDP Emotiva ERC3 - Display: LG OLED EVO 83 C3 - Pre/Pro: Marantz 8802A - Amplification: Emotiva XPA-DR3, XPA-2 x 2, XPA-6, Speakers, Mains/2ch-Focal Kanta No2's, C-LSiM706, S-702F/X, RS-RTiA9's, WS-RTiA9's, FH-RTiA3's, Subs - Epik Empire x 2

    Cables: AudioQuest McKenzie XLR's/CDP/Amp, Carbon 48/BRP, Forest 48/Display

    EXPERIENCE: next to nothing, but I sure enjoy audio and video MY OPINION OF THIS HOBBY: I may not be a smart man, but I know what quicksand is.
    When I was young, I was Superman but now that old age has gotten the best of me I'm only Batman
  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,087
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,087
    My wife asked for some peace and quiet last night while she was cooking.... so I turned off the smoke detector.
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,087
    A caring mother goes to check the stick her young daughter left on the bathroom counter a few minutes before, confirming that she is going to become a grandmother. She goes to the living room to share the news... the daughter becomes visibly upset, knowing her life as she planned it, was over.

    "How can this be!?" the girl cries...

    "Well... If the stork is the bird that delivers babies, which one prevents them?", the mother asks.

    "How the hell am I supposed to know!" the frustrated girl fired back.

    "Have you ever heard of the swallow?"
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,087
    Nine months before I was born, I went to a party with my dad, and left with my mom...
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
  • Geoff4rfc
    Geoff4rfc Posts: 2,147
    Why don't you want to iron your leprechaun?

    You don't want to press your luck!!
    Source: BRP Panasonic UB9000, CDP Emotiva ERC3 - Display: LG OLED EVO 83 C3 - Pre/Pro: Marantz 8802A - Amplification: Emotiva XPA-DR3, XPA-2 x 2, XPA-6, Speakers, Mains/2ch-Focal Kanta No2's, C-LSiM706, S-702F/X, RS-RTiA9's, WS-RTiA9's, FH-RTiA3's, Subs - Epik Empire x 2

    Cables: AudioQuest McKenzie XLR's/CDP/Amp, Carbon 48/BRP, Forest 48/Display

    EXPERIENCE: next to nothing, but I sure enjoy audio and video MY OPINION OF THIS HOBBY: I may not be a smart man, but I know what quicksand is.
    When I was young, I was Superman but now that old age has gotten the best of me I'm only Batman
  • mhardy6647
    mhardy6647 Posts: 33,012
    Just saw a joke that I rather liked, so I am posting it here.

    A WIFE Sends a Message to Her HUSBAND
    WIFE: “Honey, please don't forget to buy bread when you're coming home from work, and lest I forget... Your girlfriend Elizabeth is also here and says hello to you.”
    HUSBAND: Who is Elizabeth?
    WIFE: Nobody, I just wanted you to respond, so I can have confirmation that you saw my message.
    HUSBAND: But I’m with Elizabeth right now, I thought you saw us!
    WIFE: What! Where are you?
    HUSBAND: Near the neighbourhood bakery.
    WIFE: Wait, I’m coming right now!

    After 5 minutes, his wife sends a message:

    WIFE: I’m at the bakery, where are you?
    HUSBAND: I’m at work. Now that you’re at the bakery, please buy the bread and go home!

    (ASR)
  • pitdogg2
    pitdogg2 Posts: 24,548
    One smart cookie...lol
  • Geoff4rfc
    Geoff4rfc Posts: 2,147
    mhardy6647 wrote: »
    Just saw a joke that I rather liked, so I am posting it here.

    A WIFE Sends a Message to Her HUSBAND
    WIFE: “Honey, please don't forget to buy bread when you're coming home from work, and lest I forget... Your girlfriend Elizabeth is also here and says hello to you.”
    HUSBAND: Who is Elizabeth?
    WIFE: Nobody, I just wanted you to respond, so I can have confirmation that you saw my message.
    HUSBAND: But I’m with Elizabeth right now, I thought you saw us!
    WIFE: What! Where are you?
    HUSBAND: Near the neighbourhood bakery.
    WIFE: Wait, I’m coming right now!

    After 5 minutes, his wife sends a message:

    WIFE: I’m at the bakery, where are you?
    HUSBAND: I’m at work. Now that you’re at the bakery, please buy the bread and go home!

    (ASR)

    4l79rscpggbe.png
    Source: BRP Panasonic UB9000, CDP Emotiva ERC3 - Display: LG OLED EVO 83 C3 - Pre/Pro: Marantz 8802A - Amplification: Emotiva XPA-DR3, XPA-2 x 2, XPA-6, Speakers, Mains/2ch-Focal Kanta No2's, C-LSiM706, S-702F/X, RS-RTiA9's, WS-RTiA9's, FH-RTiA3's, Subs - Epik Empire x 2

    Cables: AudioQuest McKenzie XLR's/CDP/Amp, Carbon 48/BRP, Forest 48/Display

    EXPERIENCE: next to nothing, but I sure enjoy audio and video MY OPINION OF THIS HOBBY: I may not be a smart man, but I know what quicksand is.
    When I was young, I was Superman but now that old age has gotten the best of me I'm only Batman
  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,251
    pitdogg2 wrote: »
    One smart cookie...lol

    BTW I see what you did there

    ...and I'm offended. 🫣
    Sal Palooza
  • pitdogg2
    pitdogg2 Posts: 24,548
    pitdogg2 wrote: »
    One smart cookie...lol

    BTW I see what you did there

    ...and I'm offended. 🫣

    Would you like a ......cookie.....
  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,251
    pitdogg2 wrote: »
    pitdogg2 wrote: »
    One smart cookie...lol

    BTW I see what you did there

    ...and I'm offended. 🫣

    Would you like a ......cookie.....

    Dough-n't get me started 🥴
    Best we leven it alone 😁

    ...I need to take a nap 🛌

    Sal Palooza
  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,251
    Why did the chicken cross the road ?











    To prove to the possum that it was possible.

    ibakm2uc6cym.png
    Sal Palooza
  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,087
    I'm going to buy 100s of blowup dolls and fill them with helium and let them go during the solar eclipse so people think it's the rapture 😆 🤣
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
  • soundfreak1
    soundfreak1 Posts: 3,385
    That's funny as hell. I know I'm sick but that's still funny as F.
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