THE joke thread

Tony M · July 27

A teacher gave his fifth graders a task: Get the parents to tell a story with a moral in the end. The next day, the children returned to school, where one by one they told their stories.

"Johnny, do you have a story to share with us?"

Little Johnny, who is known for embellishing any story, said, "Yes, I do. Dad told a story about Aunt Marie. Aunt Marie was a pilot in the Iraq War, and her plane was shot down. She had to shoot her way out over enemy territory, and all she had was a small bottle of Whiskey, a gun, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't fall into enemy hands. Then she landed with her parachute right in the middle of twenty enemy soldiers. She shot fifteen of them until she ran out of ammunition, then killed four more with the knife until the knife blade snapped. She killed the last one with her bare hands.

"Good God", said the terrified teacher. "What kind of morality did your father teach you out of that story?"

Johnny replied, "Stay the hell away from Aunt Marie when she's been drinking."

Geoff4rfc · August 6

A guy runs across two lamps. He rubs them both and each produce a Genie. The guy says, cool, I get 6 wishes to which they replied, NO, you still only get 3.

So the guy makes his wishes and the Genies say, go home and you'll find your wishes to be granted.

He gets home to find the most beautiful girl in his bed and he makes love to her all night long.

The next day he goes into his backyard and finds it covered in 100 dollar bills.

Then comes a knock at his door, he opens it to find three men covered in white sheets. They put a rope around his neck and hangs him from his banister.

Later, the Genies are talking and one says to the other, I'll never get humans, he got the girl, got the money, but why would he want to be hung like a black man???

THE joke thread

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