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msg wrote: »

SCompRacer wrote: »

Ah, yes, The Imperial Strangler of Hoth.

The story goes, the two women were Amidala's handmaidens, casually strolling this path depicted here at Higher Learning Of Hoth, and unwittingly came upon a spying Darth Vader, obscured by some shrubbery.

The women would inadvertently startle Darth, causing him to raise his arm reflexively - flinching to ward off a strike.
You see, Darth was bullied here at Higher Learning of Hoth, the other kids making fun of his breathing, drawing pictures of him with a pug's head an' stuff. As a result, Darth suffered great social anxiety, and was painfully shy, and really just kept to himself. He fell deep into fantasy fiction reading, developing an obsession for sword fighting. Because the best sword fighters always got the girl in the end, you know? So he became really good at swords.

Anyway, in flinching and drawing up his arm in protection, a great power was awakened in Darth for the first time - the power to choke with a gesture. A power which the women would later use in the Imperial Courts to accuse Darth of assault. But really, he just panicked once discovered, thinking they were gonna beat him up.

He was let off with a stern warning due to lack of evidence, and outcast further. Amidala took pity on Darth a couple of years later after seeing him rescue some kittens in a burlap sack down by the river, and we all know how the rest of the story goes from there.

Rumor has it, at least one of his descendants lives among us on this forum. You know him. Tall, radio voice guy? Defiler if shrubbery?

SCompRacer wrote: »