THE joke thread

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Comments

  • Viking64
    Viking64 Posts: 5,759
    Q: Why do Swedish submarines have barcodes?

    A: So when they get to port, they can Scandinavian.
  • tonyp063
    tonyp063 Posts: 949


    The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.​

    He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”
    “Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”

    "That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.

    He listens for a few moments and says to the assistant, “I'm terribly sorry, but I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and this is not accurate at all. I don't recognize any of those sounds. Are you sure this is the correct recording?”

    The assistant checks the turntable, and replies that it is indeed European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2. The assistant apologizes and lifts the needle onto the next track.

    Again the expert listens for a few moments and then says to the assistant, "No, this just can't be right! I've been an expert in this field for 43 years and I still don't recognize any of these sounds."

    The assistant apologizes again and lifts the needle to the next track.

    The expert throws off the headphones as soon as it starts playing and is fuming with rage.
    "This is outrageous false advertising! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps and no European wasp has ever made a sound like the ones on this record!"

    The manager of the shop overhears the commotion and walks over.
    "What seems to be the problem, sir?"

    "This is an outrage! I am the world's leading expert on European wasps. Nobody knows more about them than I do. There is no way in hell that the sounds on that record were made by European wasps!"

    The manager glances down and notices the problem instantly.

    "I'm terribly sorry, sir. It appears we've been playing you the bee side."

  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 10,655
    5aevy1xuzgz1.png
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 8,795
    ,^^^🤣🤣🤣 LOL
    Sal Palooza
  • warren
    warren Posts: 756
    Nonsense
    Some final words,
    "If you keep banging your head against the wall,
    you're going to have headaches."
    Warren
  • soundfreak1
    soundfreak1 Posts: 3,111
    Rang the bell on that one!
    Main Rig:
    Krell KAV 250a biamped to mid/highs
    Parasound HCA1500A biamped to lows
    Nakamichi EC100 Active xover
    MIT exp 1 ic's
    Perreaux SA33 class A preamp
    AQ kingcobra ic's
    OPPO 83 CDP
    Lehmann audio black cube SE phono pre, Audioquest phono wire (ITA1/1)
    Denon DP-1200 TT. AToc9ML MC cart.
    Monster HTS 3600 power conditioner
    ADS L1590/2 Biamped
    MIT exps2 speaker cable
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 10,655
    oviceq36gflp.png
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • treitz3
    treitz3 Posts: 15,482
    Heck, I even passed Sammy Hagar driving 55mph the other day. That's when ya' know gas prices are high.

    Tom
    ~ In search of accurate reproduction of music. Real sound is my reference and while perfection may not be attainable? If I chase it, I might just catch excellence. ~

    ~ I have found excellence ~

    ~ The best way to enjoy digital music reproduction is to never listen to good analogue reproduction ~

  • soundfreak1
    soundfreak1 Posts: 3,111
    Was he still driving his Maserati Bora?
    Main Rig:
    Krell KAV 250a biamped to mid/highs
    Parasound HCA1500A biamped to lows
    Nakamichi EC100 Active xover
    MIT exp 1 ic's
    Perreaux SA33 class A preamp
    AQ kingcobra ic's
    OPPO 83 CDP
    Lehmann audio black cube SE phono pre, Audioquest phono wire (ITA1/1)
    Denon DP-1200 TT. AToc9ML MC cart.
    Monster HTS 3600 power conditioner
    ADS L1590/2 Biamped
    MIT exps2 speaker cable
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 10,655
    edited June 17
    Was he still driving his Maserati Bora?

    Nice car. B)
    100K to 200K.
    There's a spare tire in the rear too. :)
    I like the radio being on the left of the steering wheel.

    zowlvhcrozjm.png

    nfze3bxgnjx4.png

    0dhkn0koajl0.png

    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Viking64
    Viking64 Posts: 5,759
    Yeah, but it was a black 1982 Ferrari Berlinetta Boxer. :p
  • soundfreak1
    soundfreak1 Posts: 3,111
    The Bora is more fun to drive though.
    Main Rig:
    Krell KAV 250a biamped to mid/highs
    Parasound HCA1500A biamped to lows
    Nakamichi EC100 Active xover
    MIT exp 1 ic's
    Perreaux SA33 class A preamp
    AQ kingcobra ic's
    OPPO 83 CDP
    Lehmann audio black cube SE phono pre, Audioquest phono wire (ITA1/1)
    Denon DP-1200 TT. AToc9ML MC cart.
    Monster HTS 3600 power conditioner
    ADS L1590/2 Biamped
    MIT exps2 speaker cable
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 10,655
    treitz3 wrote: »
    bn3my24gz8qb.png

    Tom

    My brain is smoking. :s
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,709
    g0pi6bxchp0i.jpg

    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,709
    bktjmvt6aco3.jpg
    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's