THE joke thread

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  • audioluvr
    audioluvr Posts: 5,477
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    It was a slap. Not even sure there is such thing as a manly slap. The whole thing was probably staged anyway.
    Gustard X26 Pro DAC
    Belles 21A Pre modded with Mundorf Supreme caps
    B&K M200 Sonata monoblocks refreshed and upgraded
    Polk SDA 1C's modded / 1000Va Dreadnaught
    Wireworld Silver Eclipse IC's and speaker cables
    Harman Kardon T65C w/Grado Gold. (Don't laugh. It sounds great!)


    There is about a 5% genetic difference between apes and men …but that difference is the difference between throwing your own poo when you are annoyed …and Einstein, Shakespeare and Miss January. by Dr. Sardonicus
  • txcoastal1
    txcoastal1 Posts: 13,140
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    Question
    Hmmmmm............Well this works for me..... Well put...

    Deer Hunting Question…...

    Looking forward to hunting season...but I do have a question. If I shoot a buck, but I only have a doe tag, can I claim that the buck wasn't really a buck? I mean … maybe he'd always wanted to be a doe, but with no choice of his own he was born with the physical attributes of a male. And yet … on the inside he'd always known he was truly a
    female. I'm just wondering if I can get the game warden to buy that BS, because society and the Supreme Court does.
    2-channel: Modwright KWI-200 Integrated, Dynaudio C1-II Signatures
    Desktop rig: LSi7, Polk 110sub, Dayens Ampino amp, W4S DAC/pre, Sonos, JRiver
    Gear on standby: Melody 101 tube pre, Unison Research Simply Italy Integrated
    Gone to new homes: (Matt Polk's)Threshold Stasis SA12e monoblocks, Pass XA30.5 amp, Usher MD2 speakers, Dynaudio C4 platinum speakers, Modwright LS100 (voltz), Simaudio 780D DAC

    erat interfectorem cesar et **** dictatorem dicere a
  • txcoastal1
    txcoastal1 Posts: 13,140
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    Hunting on Sunday

    I had everything planned and had told my wife I would not be going to church with her on Sunday.
    My wife reminded me that Sunday was the Sabbath Day and hunting a trophy buck should not be part of the Sabbath.

    1. I scouted the area all summer.
    2. I searched out the best location for my tree-stand.
    3. I set it all up a month ahead of time.
    4. I trailed the herd.
    5. I picked out a trophy buck.
    6. Two days before opening day I rechecked every aspect of the hunt.
    7. Everything was in place.
    8. Sunday morning, I woke up at 2 am.
    9. I put on my camo, loaded my pack, set out for my stand.
    10. This was destined to be an epic hunt.
    11. As I approached my deer stand...


    8m8f5hx541ls.jpg


    I called my wife and told her I had decided not to hunt on the Sabbath and would meet her at church. The Sunday sermon was entitled "The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways ".




    2-channel: Modwright KWI-200 Integrated, Dynaudio C1-II Signatures
    Desktop rig: LSi7, Polk 110sub, Dayens Ampino amp, W4S DAC/pre, Sonos, JRiver
    Gear on standby: Melody 101 tube pre, Unison Research Simply Italy Integrated
    Gone to new homes: (Matt Polk's)Threshold Stasis SA12e monoblocks, Pass XA30.5 amp, Usher MD2 speakers, Dynaudio C4 platinum speakers, Modwright LS100 (voltz), Simaudio 780D DAC

    erat interfectorem cesar et **** dictatorem dicere a
  • pitdogg2
    pitdogg2 Posts: 24,731
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    Next time get a bear tag to go with the deer tag.
    Win win
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 11,045
    edited April 2022
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    #90 I Don't Think I Am A Perfectionist But This Is Very Annoying
    I Don't Think I Am A Perfectionist But This Is Very Annoying
    gr843x63neez.png
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,356
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    pitdogg2 wrote: »
    Next time get a bear tag to go with the deer tag.
    338 Win Mag

    Fixed ✅

    Sal Palooza
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 11,045
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    dyr5v3yq0u2y.png
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,912
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    86yhd0qpm0xk.png
    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
  • treitz3
    treitz3 Posts: 18,527
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    Sounds like something I would have done growing up....LOL

    jq9c0yfealkc.png

    Tom
    ~ In search of accurate reproduction of music. Real sound is my reference and while perfection may not be attainable? If I chase it, I might just catch excellence. ~
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,912
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    25y2ecb59umu.jpg
    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's
  • soundfreak1
    soundfreak1 Posts: 3,393
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    Tony M wrote: »
    #90 I Don't Think I Am A Perfectionist But This Is Very Annoying
    I Don't Think I Am A Perfectionist But This Is Very Annoying
    gr843x63neez.png

    LOL that would make me crazy!
    Main Rig:
    Krell KAV 250a biamped to mid/highs
    Parasound HCA1500A biamped to lows
    Nakamichi EC100 Active xover
    MIT exp 1 ic's
    Perreaux SA33 class A preamp
    AQ kingcobra ic's
    OPPO 83 CDP
    Lehmann audio black cube SE phono pre, Audioquest phono wire (ITA1/1)
    Denon DP-1200 TT. AToc9ML MC cart.
    Monster HTS 3600 power conditioner
    ADS L1590/2 Biamped
    MIT exps2 speaker cable
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 11,045
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    Tony M wrote: »
    #90 I Don't Think I Am A Perfectionist But This Is Very Annoying
    I Don't Think I Am A Perfectionist But This Is Very Annoying
    gr843x63neez.png

    LOL that would make me crazy!

    I used to operate boom trucks and also trained a few guys to operate them. The Company owner would buy used boom trucks and place them in stores that grew and needed that service. Some of the trucks had levers that when you pushed one forward, the section of boom would lift up. There were quite a few times I performed operations to the lever control panels. It was simple. Switching the hydraulic hoses on each lever that was backwards. 5 min. for each reversal.

    I made it easier to learn by doing the common sense lever to action method. You pull a lever, that section gets pulled up. ;):p

    The Co. owner LOVED it when I told him I had to correct the BS on some boom trucks. 1 hour or 1 1/2 and they were fixed.

    Another Co had a boom truck that had forks at the end that turned 1/2 turn one way and 1 1/2 turns the other direction. previous operators were ALWAYS busting hoses by over spinning in that one direction.

    I had an afternoon off and studied the knuckle joint and saw what needed to be done. After fixing it, nobody could over spin the forks again. Somebody had taken the knuckle apart and put it back wrong.

    I'm no genius but sometimes if I study some problem while I'm calm and don't have anything taking up space in my brain 🧠, I come up with solutions. :p

    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 11,045
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    My wife laughed for a minute and shared it with me. There were also some funny comments about this on her web forum that kept making her laugh.

    3wupo0nhsatd.png



    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • soundfreak1
    soundfreak1 Posts: 3,393
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    Tony M wrote: »
    My wife laughed for a minute and shared it with me. There were also some funny comments about this on her web forum that kept making her laugh.

    3wupo0nhsatd.png



    Dont give them any ideas, Mickey Mao has lost his mind!
    Main Rig:
    Krell KAV 250a biamped to mid/highs
    Parasound HCA1500A biamped to lows
    Nakamichi EC100 Active xover
    MIT exp 1 ic's
    Perreaux SA33 class A preamp
    AQ kingcobra ic's
    OPPO 83 CDP
    Lehmann audio black cube SE phono pre, Audioquest phono wire (ITA1/1)
    Denon DP-1200 TT. AToc9ML MC cart.
    Monster HTS 3600 power conditioner
    ADS L1590/2 Biamped
    MIT exps2 speaker cable
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 11,045
    edited April 2022
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    Looks like it's already happening.

    Announced today. It's a fact too.

    Victoria's Secret Has Hired Its First Male Model :s
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,356
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    Ivan ? 😳
    Sal Palooza
  • Willow
    Willow Posts: 10,901
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    Ivan ? 😳

    PFB?
  • OleBoot
    OleBoot Posts: 2,220
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    No. It's me. They're really into 46" waists.
  • audioluvr
    audioluvr Posts: 5,477
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    I'd arm wrestle all of ya for a chance to be in their dressing room!
    Gustard X26 Pro DAC
    Belles 21A Pre modded with Mundorf Supreme caps
    B&K M200 Sonata monoblocks refreshed and upgraded
    Polk SDA 1C's modded / 1000Va Dreadnaught
    Wireworld Silver Eclipse IC's and speaker cables
    Harman Kardon T65C w/Grado Gold. (Don't laugh. It sounds great!)


    There is about a 5% genetic difference between apes and men …but that difference is the difference between throwing your own poo when you are annoyed …and Einstein, Shakespeare and Miss January. by Dr. Sardonicus
  • pitdogg2
    pitdogg2 Posts: 24,731
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    audioluvr wrote: »
    I'd arm wrestle all of ya for a chance to be in their dressing room!

    As a sanitary napkin dispenser?
  • treitz3
    treitz3 Posts: 18,527
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    Okay, so I ran across an article today and the headline cracked me up.

    https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/technology/us-science-advisors-desperately-want-to-probe-uranus/ar-AAWpBgR?ocid=msedgdhp&pc=U531&cvid=8948e0939ef0402e8777ecf89d8a45e9&fbclid=IwAR2BarJfvJL-EJWKfDScPoxO54uq_ZDoQKgpqWUXqc0h8oBi55d21Az-q2E

    I personally have no issues with them probing Uranus. I do find issue with them probing mine.

    Tom
    ~ In search of accurate reproduction of music. Real sound is my reference and while perfection may not be attainable? If I chase it, I might just catch excellence. ~
  • audioluvr
    audioluvr Posts: 5,477
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    They must have mentioned a dozen times how much they would love to probe Uranus. :D
    Gustard X26 Pro DAC
    Belles 21A Pre modded with Mundorf Supreme caps
    B&K M200 Sonata monoblocks refreshed and upgraded
    Polk SDA 1C's modded / 1000Va Dreadnaught
    Wireworld Silver Eclipse IC's and speaker cables
    Harman Kardon T65C w/Grado Gold. (Don't laugh. It sounds great!)


    There is about a 5% genetic difference between apes and men …but that difference is the difference between throwing your own poo when you are annoyed …and Einstein, Shakespeare and Miss January. by Dr. Sardonicus
  • treitz3
    treitz3 Posts: 18,527
    Options
    yfmpm7ad3c6l.png

    Tom
    ~ In search of accurate reproduction of music. Real sound is my reference and while perfection may not be attainable? If I chase it, I might just catch excellence. ~
  • treitz3
    treitz3 Posts: 18,527
    Options
    bzfr3351osdb.png

    Tom
    ~ In search of accurate reproduction of music. Real sound is my reference and while perfection may not be attainable? If I chase it, I might just catch excellence. ~
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 11,045
    Options
    e8q9rngtmrzp.png

    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • tonyp063
    tonyp063 Posts: 1,053
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    So there were these twins who were "little people", and had been born without arms.

    One of them got a job working in the carillon at a local church, sounding the bells before services. Since he lacked arms, his technique consisted of launching himself at the bells and striking them with his face in order to produce the notes.
    One sunday he was really feeling it, and at the height of the song, launched himself to hit the high C - and missed! He flew straight out of the tower and landed with a splat on the sidewalk, dead.
    Someone came over and asked, does anyone know who this is? Another person responded, i don't know his name, but his face rings a bell.





    .
    The next Sunday his twin brother filled in. Playing the same composition, he went for that high C - and missed! People gathered, and someone asked, does anyone know who this is? And someone else answered,
    I don't know his name, but he is a dead ringer for his brother.

  • txcoastal1
    txcoastal1 Posts: 13,140
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    Gawd inflation suxx!!

    I was shopping with the wife & picked up a six pack of my favorite beer. My wife put it back and said we need to cut down on unnecessary expenses. Then she’s filling the cart with makeup, skin creams, etc. I said, “I thought we were cutting back on unnecessary stuff.” She said, I buy these things so I can look beautiful for you.” I said, “That’s what the beer is for.”

    Apparently, I’m sleeping on the couch tonight.
    2-channel: Modwright KWI-200 Integrated, Dynaudio C1-II Signatures
    Desktop rig: LSi7, Polk 110sub, Dayens Ampino amp, W4S DAC/pre, Sonos, JRiver
    Gear on standby: Melody 101 tube pre, Unison Research Simply Italy Integrated
    Gone to new homes: (Matt Polk's)Threshold Stasis SA12e monoblocks, Pass XA30.5 amp, Usher MD2 speakers, Dynaudio C4 platinum speakers, Modwright LS100 (voltz), Simaudio 780D DAC

    erat interfectorem cesar et **** dictatorem dicere a
  • pitdogg2
    pitdogg2 Posts: 24,731
    edited May 2022
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    How much beer does it take you to look "beautiful" ? I've seen you I guessing that it is way north of a case....😆😆


    I'll show myself out
  • Tony M
    Tony M Posts: 11,045
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    I heard these watching a movie tonight.

    There's two constants in life.
    1...Men like women.
    2...Women like money.

    Girl asks a important man what his ambition in life is.
    He tells her he wants to become immortal...and then die. :D
    Most people just listen to music and watch movies. I EXPERIENCE them.
  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,912
    Options

    6py6idijjqyq.png
    HT SYSTEM-
    Sony 850c 4k
    Pioneer elite vhx 21
    Sony 4k BRP
    SVS SB-2000
    Polk Sig. 20's
    Polk FX500 surrounds

    Cables-
    Acoustic zen Satori speaker cables
    Acoustic zen Matrix 2 IC's
    Wireworld eclipse 7 ic's
    Audio metallurgy ga-o digital cable

    Kitchen

    Sonos zp90
    Grant Fidelity tube dac
    B&k 1420
    lsi 9's