Am I an A@@hole?

SLOCOOKN

What I really find ironic. Women have a real good idea what men want. They also have an idea what we are capable of doing to get to the end goal. What is sad they keep there wants clouded to us and get upset when we don't meet their expectations. I'm not just talking about D day....ooopppsss V day...L:)

Just in general. Where would you like to eat tonight...What bedroom furniture...A. B. C. this weekend what do you think...

These are generalizations and my not apply to all..But at some point all women suffer from this...

shack

MrNightly wrote:

I tried the whole hotel room and "set-up" the first year of marriage as a surprise, and she literally turned up her nose at the whole affair, because I forgot to bring her toothbrush and pillow. I had flowers, gifts, candles, her favorite love songs burned onto a CD playing, and a $400 dollar room. It was the worst night of our marriage. And that's saying something

If this is true...you've got issues that go way deeper than any single Valentines Day.

sucks2beme

The Mrs. was looking over my shoulder while I read this. She says you are!!!
She feels you should of at least made the reservation ahead of time- not
taking the time to do it meant it wasn't important to you.
I am in this sort of trouble all the time.
I am a wing it kind of guy. She plans crap out months ahead.
I don't know how I've stayed married for 25 years.

exalted512

I woke up early and cooked a small breakfast, woke her up with some balloons and flowers on the bed. Thats all I got her, and she was happy. I planned on the balloons and flowers, but i didnt eat the night before and woke up starving and knew she would like it if i did some BS like that

IMO, you effed up. If she gives you 3-weeks notice and all you can come up with is dinner, then thats on you. I'm not saying I would have done much better, but im also a firm believer in make-up sex:D
-Cody

danger boy

i voted NO. you did what you could.. and it didn't all work out as planned.. but dang.. romance doesn't have to have a big fat price tag on it.. maybe she would have rather gone to a monster truck show or something. :rolleyes:

Let it go.. if she doesn't speak to you for a couple hours or days.. go crank up the rig and do some serious listening instead.

good luck.

jflail2

Bottom line: ALL women are ****, just to varying degrees.

I got lucky with mine. Every year she gets a 1/2 day trip to a very nice, local spa and a card, and every year I get a card and the chance to pick out a nice gift between 100-200$.

We have a pretty good agreement going I still haven't cashed in, so I might push for a new denon dvd player to match my new receiver.

Nah, I don't think you F'd up, but you may want to do b-day, Christmas and next year's V-Day a little more hardcore.....

audiobliss

exalted512 wrote:

IMO, you effed up. If she gives you 3-weeks notice and all you can come up with is dinner, then thats on you.

Good point. I think I agree.

Danny Tse

I am having post V-day depression as I type this....

I made reservation to a swanky Japanese restaurant and we had an excellent meal. Nice atmosphere and good food, with techno music softly playing (through Bose 301 monitors) against a backdrop of bamboos and other patrons dressed in their chic-est clothes. After the meal, we walked around the neighborhood, talked and checked out all the (closed) shops....

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of ordering flowers through Hallmark.com and the flowers are nothing like their pictures depicted. They just came in a giant cardboard boxes and the recipiant had to put together the flowers and the vase. I was expecting a vaseful of red roses delivered....not a giant brown cardboard box.

Then there was the Swarovski crystal collar pin that I purchased for her. She told me she didn't want to put pin holes through her clothes, so we will have to go exchange the pin for something else. I figured since I had never purchased a pin for her, this would be nice. I guess I made a mistake there too.

There was other issues....but I'd rather not bored you guys with the details. In the end, I didn't think I did a good job....choosing the wrong gift and getting the Hello Kitty doll (another gift) in the wrong color. She told me it was OK and appreciated my efforts, but I still feel bad.

Back to the original question....I voted "no", but you should've at least purchased some sexy lingerie (for your wife ) to get her in the mood.

Danny Tse

jflail2 wrote:

but you may want to do b-day, Christmas and next year's V-Day a little more hardcore.....

Don't forget anniversaries....

Holydoc

I voted Yes because of the lack of reservations. One of the most important things I have found about the women I take out is that they want to feel important and special. When we walk into a restuarant, they expect reservations to be waiting. They do not want to be sitting there watching others be led to their seats. She wants to be the one that gets led to her seat while seeing the others wait.

Finally the biggest mistake is telling her what you would have done. Telling her that you are not going to a particular restuarant because the wait is too long for you or telling her that you are not going ice skating because the weather is too cold for you, shows that you are thinking about your comforts and not hers, at least in her mind. She then equates the whole night with you doing what you want and not what she would like.

Hey, I am not saying whether it is right or wrong. I am just saying that the above things are what has reared their ugly heads at me a few times.

hearingimpared

This whole thread is very amusing. I voted no. I think you should go over to your wife get as close as possible to her, put your face as close as she will allow you, hold her hand and looking her straight in eye without blinking say, "honey l love you very, very much, more than anything in this whole world, I'm so sorry about last night and will try to be more in tuned with what you want from this point forward." Then try to softly kiss her.

If that doesn't work. . . I don't know. . . but,

My wife and I did absolutely nothing on V-day. The night before after putting my son to bed, we stayed up very late and watched a movie, then had some extra, extra ciricular activities and went to sleep. We woke up said happy v-day to each other and went about our business for the rest of the day. Last night we held hands while listening to music, kissed a few times then went to bed.

All in all we both got what we wanted and no-one was under any pressure.

Poee7R

I voted no, because im married and have dealt with some of that also.

I would say just plan ahead for next year, maybe McD's value menu and a 3 dollar off certificate for the next circus that comes through town.

Would make this valentines look great in hindsight.


Dave

BIZILL

Again, **** Valentine's Day! Negatives Seem To Outweigh The Positives. I Think More Relationships Are Ruined By It VS Bettered.

MrNightly

exalted512 wrote:

IMO, you effed up. If she gives you 3-weeks notice and all you can come up with is dinner, then thats on you. I'm not saying I would have done much better, but im also a firm believer in make-up sex:D
-Cody

But see, that's my problem. I told her that I believed V-day should be between both people, and both sides should partake in the activities planning.

Ah hell, who am I fooling...

I will try HearingImpared's suggestions... What the heck...

Here's to this weekend passing quickly...

Rivrrat

The wife got me a card. I got the wife a card and brought home dinner from a regional Mexican fast food place. We went to bed early, and slept.

We were both happy, but we've been together for 22 yrs.

And I think V-day sucks, because of most womens unrealistic expectations.

madmax

I see nothing really romantic with steaks. That seems more of a guy thing. No put down, just saying... And no reservation seems more like a normal sort of meal. I bet she's thinking something "different" and "special" would have been reasonable. Couldn't you have hired a small jazz quartet to play lightly in the backround while you enjoyed a nice expensive meal prepared in front of you? Couldn't you have done all this in a small little get away type retreat in your favorite villa? Doesn't she deserve at least that much?? Well?
madmax

schwarcw

I'm guessing that you didn't get a BJ when you got home?

sucks2beme

I suffered through years of anniversary, birthday, and valentines hell.
About four years ago, I went and bought her a set of nice ear rings.
I then started getting her the nice stuff for all these days. She came back last year and told me she had more than enough jewelry, Just get her some
flowers. Yesterday, it was nice wine and import chocolate.
Guess she finally decided the simple stuff was okay. Good thing ,too
The heart pendant I bought the XMAS before that cost more than anything
audio I've ever bought. More than the whole 2 channel rig!

hearingimpared

madmax wrote:

I see nothing really romantic with steaks. That seems more of a guy thing. No put down, just saying... And no reservation seems more like a normal sort of meal. I bet she's thinking something "different" and "special" would have been reasonable. Couldn't you have hired a small jazz quartet to play lightly in the backround while you enjoyed a nice expensive meal prepared in front of you? Couldn't you have done all this in a small little get away type retreat in your favorite villa? Doesn't she deserve at least that much?? Well?
madmax

He would have had to sell a Manley Steelhead to afford that one there brother!:p

Dennis Gardner

Forget 3 weeks notice, you were screwed at "I do".......

BobMcG

First, you have her slide into a plush limo where a beautiful bouquet of roses, a box of chocolates and a little something from the jewelers awaits her.

Second, the limo delivers you to board a private jet where within you enjoy a bottle of champagne while en route to Pairs for a romantic, candlelit dinner at the Restaurant Le C

pblanc

There is no point even asking. Your wisest course of action is to admit you are a jerk and apologize profusely. What difference does it make who's right? If you "win" you are just going to lose big time. How long have you been married?

beardog03

BIZILL wrote:

instead of reading sweet nothings to her, will she allow you to read to her a steamy romance novel?

or better yet...have you two sat down and discussed your differences? perhaps ways to overcome them?

your not married , are you ?


Mr. N..
I thought I was the only one that had to deal with this kind of thing..!!

I haven`t read the whole thread yet, but my advise is...


Tell her to get over it...it is what it is, and if she was really a romantic, she would have thought a dinner and a night together without the kids was a great thing...

believe me nothing you could have done would have been good enough...she set you up to fail, knowing you would and then could brow beat you into kissing her but to make it all better..

Make her wash your car/bike....




just my two

pblanc

By the way, it may be worth while taking this simple test: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=ahtest.
You should also check out: http://bobsutton.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/02/are_you_a_certi.html, and http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/26190375.html, and http://jult.net/****.htm. Don't feel so bad about it, you are not alone. Join the club here: http://members.tripod.com/~pnowak/rshole.html.

MrNightly

pblanc wrote:

By the way, it may be worth while taking this simple test: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=ahtest.
You should also check out: http://bobsutton.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/02/are_you_a_certi.html, and http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/26190375.html, and http://jult.net/****.htm. Don't feel so bad about it, you are not alone. Join the club here: http://members.tripod.com/~pnowak/rshole.html.

That cracked me up big time. Thanks man!

MSALLA

Sounds like a women who "feels she's missing something"
You can a) tell her to stop her bitchin'
b) go to the jewelry store & spend some money. Then beat her home, get rid of the kids and COOK her a romantic meal yourself.
Option a will keep your pride but b will get you laid.

joeparaski

...ummmm, that would be rose "petals", not pedals:p

Joe

daboyz

The biggest mistake was the reservations, dude, the one must. Steaks were fine, though. Your wife wanted to feel special and gave you the time to set it up and it didn't happen. I agree that things should be planned together but I get the feeling that she wanted a night where you handled everything. Sometimes women are like that. Apologize for it and move on. I didn't see that you said how long you've been married. It actually gets easier as you go but relationships are never a total walk in the park.

wingnut4772

I said no. If that is the whole story it sounds like a fine day to me.

Fireman32

Damm after reading this I am so happy to be single. I voted no by the way.