Dumb things you've heard from "audiophiles"...

Nice to see things haven't changed around here. 10 pages and 288 posts.:rolleyes:



BTW: If I **** while posting dose it smell when you read it.?

audiocr381ve wrote: »

. What's weird is that I imagined what this thread would smell like and it actually caused a chemical reaction in my brain which made me gag.

Fixed it for ya.

I say we all give Halo a swirley in a ball park toilet for starting this turkey.:cheesygrin:

tonyb wrote: »

Fixed it for ya.

I say we all give Halo a swirley in a ball park toilet for starting this turkey.:cheesygrin:

I gave a kid a swirly once and almost had to deal with some legal troubles. I'm OUT.

How long can a **** linger ????

I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented 'You're definitely going to crap yourself' chili. Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat the next day both of your a$$ cheeks WILL fall off.

Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'.

Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning.

Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.

Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different.

The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet and juicy like these ****. relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot.

There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it.

I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate.

I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Mistake.

Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal assplosion took place.

Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my **** is burning SO BAD, purging.

One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Sonofabitch!', then quickly left.

Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'

That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.

Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. The **** claim they're going to have to repaint the store. Anyone gonna dispute this cause/effect tale ???

Just tryin to be the voice of reason on this thread !

gdb wrote: »

Report me to Congress would'ya nooshie ?:rolleyes: I just pasted it the same as TNRabbit did. Why do you insist on acting like a pissant ??

Who cares. Still a good yuk. THANKS

Similar idea to my last post, huh? Ironic, isn't it?

Greg

DarqueKnight wrote: »

In light of the fact that I accurately quoted the Petri-Larmi study that I referenced (AES 1980) and that the quotation was affirmed by the Petri-Larmi "smoking gun" paper that you erroneously referenced (IEEE 1980), would you like to revise your opinion regarding my research, comments and calculations regarding the audibility of signal noise reduction due to higher quality power cables?

WilliamM2 wrote: »

Well keep waiting. As I said above, if it's 33 to 53 times greater than the threshold of audibility, why can't it be demonstrated? Should be easy, yet it's never done.

Improper stereophonic blind tests are the last refuge of the outwitted naysayer.

---

Dayum! That's righteous sig material there boyeeeeeeeeeee!

Hmmmmm....now that you mention it....~DK

I would rather meet most of you and have a beer then argue with you. Just my honest opinion.

tommyt21 wrote: »

I would rather meet most of you and have a beer then argue with you. Just my honest opinion.

Would you be willing to ship the beer?
You can keep the chilli.:cheesygrin: