Question for Married Men!

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  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited February 2010
    nadams wrote:
    I've just been reading a lot of bitching and I get tired of it. Respect your woman, guys.... I understand they're not all as they seem, but I've got plenty of time to make absolutely sure that she's the right one.

    We're essentially just committing to each other for the future.. I have no doubts.

    EVERYONE who gets married for the first time feels exactly like you do...over half end up in divorce. I hope you are not one of those (so far I'm not) ..but don't come across as knowing what others who have "been there / done that" should or should not do.
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
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  • nadams
    nadams Posts: 5,877
    edited February 2010
    shack wrote: »
    EVERYONE who gets married for the first time feels exactly like you do...over half end up in divorce. I hope you are not one of those (so far I'm not) ..but don't come across as knowing what others who have been there or done that should or should not do.

    I'm not saying that I know what other people should do... I just don't like other people suggesting that I made a mistake.
    Ludicrous gibs!
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  • shack
    shack Posts: 11,154
    edited February 2010
    nadams wrote:
    I'm not saying that I know what other people should do... I just don't like other people suggesting that I made a mistake.

    You are taking their light hearted ribbing way too seriously.

    You are in love with the woman of your dreams and you will be together forever...we get that. And I truly hope it works out that way for you.

    But like I said...everyone who has gotten married was there once.
    "Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right." - Ricky Gervais

    "For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase

    "Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2010
    brettw22 wrote: »
    It's good to be ****........lol......

    In what universe do you live in that you think it would EVER be appropriate to say something like "you might be menopausal" and expect not to get some blunt object upside your head?

    Everything starts in the small details.....you need to work from that angle rather than try to (as she said) fix HER.........date nights, etc......whatever............but i wouldn't ever try to diagnose her with something clinical and think that you aren't gonna be payin for a while.....

    Well, I must admit that, that is some pretty damned good advice from a guy who doesn't do women. Sure makes sense now that I look back on it especially feeling the way she has been feeling. BTW the universe I am living in right now is ripe with eggshell walking!!! LOL!!!:D
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2010
    nadams wrote: »
    I'm not saying that I know what other people should do... I just don't like other people suggesting that I made a mistake.

    Take it easy Noah, no-one is suggesting a mistake Bro . . . just light hearted ribbing the new guy who is getting ready for the marriage way of life.:)
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  • Hillbilly61
    Hillbilly61 Posts: 702
    edited February 2010
    You don't get it. My wife and and I are partners for life. We would literally kill for our children. In between I put up with her and she puts up with me. WE ARE PARTNERS!

    All the same, we love each other very deeply. She would kill for me and me for her.

    Hillbilly
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2010
    Hillbilly61 wrote: »
    You don't get it. My wife and and I are partners for life. We would literally kill for our children. In between I put up with her and she puts up with me. WE ARE PARTNERS!

    All the same, we love each other very deeply. She would kill for me and me for her.

    Hillbilly

    Same here but I gotta admit, my 5' 11" 280 lb self can be scared to death of my 5' 1" 120 lb wife!:eek::D
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  • brettw22
    brettw22 Posts: 7,624
    edited February 2010
    love and death.......such a beautiful way to put it........
    comment comment comment comment. bitchy.
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2010
    brettw22 wrote: »
    love and death.......such a beautiful way to put it........

    Ha ha ha!
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  • Hillbilly61
    Hillbilly61 Posts: 702
    edited February 2010
    hearingimpared wrote: »
    Same here but I gotta admit, my 5' 11" 280 lb self can be scared to death of my 5' 1" 120 lb wife!:eek::D

    Oh, yea. Dawn has had me backed up into a corner, telling me the "facts of life," no way that a man could ever do so. She and I are partners in life ... I've had her backed up into the proverbial corner as well....

    We work things out re. the most important of things and that is what makes us successful as a hubby/wife team.

    Lee
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  • treitz3
    treitz3 Posts: 18,994
    edited February 2010
    hearingimpared wrote: »
    Have any of you fellas figured this out?

    Why do our wives think that because we are testosterone driven and logical thinkers that we have the effing power to read their minds?:eek:
    They can't even read their own minds, it seems. Estrogen is just as bad as testosterone but more like a drug gone astray. With testosterone, we men tend to get manly and sometimes stupid.

    With estrogen and whatever else goes on in a woman's body? Well, I'll put it to you this way........in the electrical world, we would call that a catastrophic failure.
    ~ In search of accurate reproduction of music. Real sound is my reference and while perfection may not be attainable? If I chase it, I might just catch excellence. ~
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2010
    treitz3 wrote: »
    They can't even read their own minds, it seems. Estrogen is just as bad as testosterone but more like a drug gone astray. With testosterone, we men tend to get manly and sometimes stupid.

    With estrogen and whatever else goes on in a woman's body? Well, I'll put it to you this way........in the electrical world, we would call that a catastrophic failure.

    Great one Tom!!!:eek::eek::eek:
    treitz3 wrote: »
    With testosterone, we men tend to get manly and sometimes stupid.

    And over analytical to the point of frustrating our partner. Atleast that's what happens with me. I'm a natural born troubleshooter and tend to carry it over in my personal life which is sometimes good and other times very, very bad!:(
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  • bsoko2
    bsoko2 Posts: 1,449
    edited February 2010
    Hey guys, remember when you were in madams place? The first time you met, held hands, kissed, and the other thing? The aching to see her when you were apart for the first time? The Honeymoon? The first month of marriage? First year? I know I would love to go through that again with mine!

    Bill
    My 2012 HT Room - http://www.avsforum.com/t/1416077/bsoko2-new-ht-june-2012
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2010
    bsoko2 wrote: »
    Hey guys, remember when you were in madams place? The first time you met, held hands, kissed, and the other thing? The aching to see her when you were apart for the first time? The Honeymoon? The first month of marriage? First year? I know I would love to go through that again with mine!

    Bill

    Indeed and me and Phyllis still have those moments but life is what it is and has to be dealt with before all that great stuff can be felt again and over and over again. It never goes away.
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  • arun1963
    arun1963 Posts: 1,797
    edited February 2010
    bsoko2 wrote: »
    Hey guys, remember when you were in madams place? The first time you met, held hands, kissed, and the other thing? The aching to see her when you were apart for the first time? The Honeymoon? The first month of marriage? First year? I know I would love to go through that again with mine!

    Bill

    The early days are when you'll are still discovering each other and showing your best side. You can't go through 25 years, kids, family issues, growing responsibilities and shrinking time, like that. You're just setting yourself up for a fall if that's your objective.

    Over a span of 2-5 years, you will discover each other for who you'll really are. It's then a question of understanding the other and making adjustments over the next 10-15 years. I have a hard time digesting claims of people married 20 years who still profess to be in love with each other like teenagers. I'm not saying you stop caring, if you do then its already over. You still care, just on a more real world level.

    Kids though, are another story. That's one relation perhaps the only one where giving and getting matter the least.
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  • superjunior
    superjunior Posts: 1,632
    edited February 2010
    hearingimpared wrote: »
    Indeed and me and Phyllis still have those moments but life is what it is and has to be dealt with before all that great stuff can be felt again and over and over again. It never goes away.

    Phyllis was my grandmoms name HI, give the woman a big hug from SUPERJUNIOR - if she doesen't like it she can **** my wife out on facebook :p
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  • Polkersince85
    Polkersince85 Posts: 2,883
    edited February 2010
    The old Bob Hope joke:

    "My wife told me she was a fool when she married me." I told her, "Yea, but I was so much in love I didn't notice."
    >
    >
    >This message has been scanned by the NSA and found to be free of harmful intent.<
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2010
    superjunior wrote: »
    Phyllis was my grandmoms name HI, give the woman a big hug from SUPERJUNIOR - if she doesen't like it she can **** my wife out on facebook :p

    We had a wonderful night last night and ended up making boom boom like we did when we were first together.:D
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2010
    Polkersince85 wrote: »
    The old Bob Hope joke:

    "My wife told me she was a fool when she married me." I told her, "Yea, but I was so much in love I didn't notice."

    LMAO! Ain't that the truth.:D
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  • Knucklehead
    Knucklehead Posts: 3,602
    edited February 2010
    I must admit....after nearly 20 years of marriage and 3 kids later.....I love my wife dearly and couldnt live without her.;)
    Polk Audio Surround Bar 360
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2010
    Knucklehead wrote: »
    I must admit....after nearly 20 years of marriage and 3 kids later.....I love my wife dearly and couldnt live without her.;)

    That's a given. How do you deal with some of the insanity brought on by hormones? That's the question at hand not to mention our mind reading skills.;)
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  • Krazyz1
    Krazyz1 Posts: 256
    edited February 2010
    My basic opinion of of women use to be if they couldn't cook , clean , or f**k they were worthless.....and I can cook and clean. My 3rd wife Linda changed that opinion. She is my BEST friend , we look out for each other and discuss everything.Nobody is right and nobody is wrong. We just sometimes have differences of opinion. Best idea wins. Doesn't matter who thought of it and nobody keeping score. We TOTALLY support each other. She is very active in promoting my audio hobby. She sees how happy the music makes me. ( I am bi-polar ). I've spent 3 K in last 12 months on audio improvements with full support.How many wife's turn off the T.V. and say " Honey , why don't you turn the stereo on. ). Then she proceeds to put ear plugs in and does cross word puzzles rocking in the lazy-boy while I'm jammin my **** off rocking and rolling while the siding on the house is rattling. I smoke out side is how I know. NO bedroom issues , fantastic cook/baker. What more could I ask for???? The key for us is RESPECT and don't take each other for granted. I couldn't be any happier other than better pain meds for my f**ked up shoulder. Surgery Oct. 6th. 09 and now they tell me it " frozen" . Other than that LIFE IS GREAT!!!!!!!!!!
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  • brettw22
    brettw22 Posts: 7,624
    edited February 2010
    Wow Krazy....seems that the problem in your first two marriages was you.......if that's how you thought of the women you were married to.

    There is no crystal ball or anything needed here joe........just don't be a **** guised by 'good intentions' because it will never matter what your intentions are if the way you pitch your 'assistance' is "maybe you're menopausal."

    And while 4 pages have been spent looking at how to deal with HER stuff, how many pages are you willing to devote to YOUR issues that cause her stress and irritation.

    I'm not even married to you and I could crank out a few pages of how you're a ****..... :D
    comment comment comment comment. bitchy.
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2010
    brettw22 wrote: »
    Wow Krazy....seems that the problem in your first two marriages was you.......if that's how you thought of the women you were married to.

    There is no crystal ball or anything needed here joe........just don't be a **** guised by 'good intentions' because it will never matter what your intentions are if the way you pitch your 'assistance' is "maybe you're menopausal."

    And while 4 pages have been spent looking at how to deal with HER stuff, how many pages are you willing to devote to YOUR issues that cause her stress and irritation.

    I'm not even married to you and I could crank out a few pages of how you're a ****..... :D

    I'm no angel, and you don't know me at all! My wife and I are open to each others observations and respect and listen to each other when things are a little tight between us. Sometimes when the heat is on and the anxiety of the moment causes great concern, I can be mistaken in my approach but then again I'm only human and don't have a manual on some of these issues.

    BTW pot, kettle, black on the "****' statement.:p
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  • concealer404
    concealer404 Posts: 7,440
    edited February 2010
    Oh man... a manual would be great.

    Wait... i'm a guy. We don't read manuals or instructions. Carry on.
    I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.

    Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii

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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited February 2010
    concealer404 wrote: »
    Oh man... a manual would be great.

    Wait... i'm a guy. We don't read manuals or instructions. Carry on.

    Ha ha ha!
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  • Krazyz1
    Krazyz1 Posts: 256
    edited February 2010
    Miss conception gentlemen. That was my view in general as a YOUNG man , and certainly not concerning my wives. Surely I am not blameless. 1st wife wanted her freedom and not to answer to ANYONE. 2nd wife got involved in crack cocaine. I tried for almost 13 years of my life trying to get that situation straightened out and things put back together. Impossible when you could never get the truth to save your soul and the TRUST beyond repair. I just feel very fortunate to have my Linda.
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  • concealer404
    concealer404 Posts: 7,440
    edited February 2010
    I cook, clean, and do laundry. Sounds like i'd be the perfect wife for someone....

    Wait... that came out totally wrong.
    I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.

    Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii

    Desk: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / ISK HD9999

    Office: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / Dynaco SCA-80Q / Paradigm Legend V.3

    HT: Denon AVR-X3400H / Sony UBP-X700 / RT16 / CS350LS / RT7 / SVS PB1000
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  • Krazyz1
    Krazyz1 Posts: 256
    edited February 2010
    It's called self preservation and not being a slob. LOL!
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  • Knucklehead
    Knucklehead Posts: 3,602
    edited February 2010
    hearingimpared wrote: »
    That's a given. How do you deal with some of the insanity brought on by hormones? That's the question at hand not to mention our mind reading skills.;)

    You have to find your compasionate side quick fast and in a hurry. You guys didnt receive your 6th sense when you got married?
    Polk Audio Surround Bar 360
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    Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. ~Ronald Reagan
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