Never buy a House (with someone else!)

wingnut4772

4343

zombie boy 2000

I'd hate to add salt to the wound, but that's the first time I've seen your system pics......

and that sucks your HT has been sent to solitary:D

UNBELIEVABLE


(as an aside, the wife and I are scheduled to look at two homes this evening):p

wingnut4772

zombie boy 2000 wrote:

I'd hate to add salt to the wound, but that's the first time I've seen your system pics......

and that sucks your HT has been sent to solitary:D

UNBELIEVABLE


(as an aside, the wife and I are scheduled to look at two homes this evening):p

Thanks. They are only in boxes as I don't want any 'harm' to come to them.

Good luck with the house hunting . When I buy my new place it is going to have a larger room with better acoustics for HT or I won't buy it at all. that makes me a little excited:o Something to look forward to I guess.

Skynut

Force him to buy you out.
Offer to let him keep the house at the inflated price he claims it is worth and have him pay you half of the difference in price over what the two of you paid.
If not plant some dope on him and send him up the river. j/k

wingnut4772

I made that offer but he can't carry this house buy himself. The MTG is insane.

dkg999

Buying a house with another person is not necessarily bad, however doing it as an emotional (ie I love you and nothing will go wrong) decision versus a business decision is bad. Alot of what you are going through should of been worked out up front and put in place as a signed/notorized agreement between you. Now you are trying to do this after the deal has done gone south, and that's not a good place to be.

I would total up what you both have invested in the property, down payment plus improvements, that will be included in the sale. Those amounts will determine the ratio of equity, profit, or loss. You also can't ignore the value of your credit rating and the timely house payments on the bum's credit rating. Since the payments are being reported in both your names, his credit rating should of improved at your expense.

If he wants to keep the house, based on the above, you can work out what your current equity is, and what he needs to come up with to buy you out. Because this isn't a divorce, you also have some property ownership rights you wouldn't have in a divorce. You will probably need an attorney to excersize your right to rent your part of the property, put liens against the property, etc. The other option is to continue to live there and make the bum's life a living hell! You're not married, you are a joint property owner, unless he can prove violence and that he is in danger (even though he is!), he can't get you out of there. The male of the species won't tolerate this situation for long. What you don't want to do is leave and have him do a legal maneuver claiming you abandoned the property.

I would opt for the townhome. Make sure you check out how much wall is in common with the adjoining unit, how that wall is constructed, and where the wall in common is in relation to where your HT would be. A lot of newer townhomes use the garage area as the wall in common, so noise is not much of an issue if you have the windows shut and the a/c on. Doug.

ohskigod

he wants an inflated amount in order to pocket a certain amount (i.e. after the mortgage is paid off) I wouldnt move out of that house until he agrees to sell in fair market. give up your half of the $ for him to get more? HELL NO! he can scratch &ss. Simple closing procedure, house sells for a price, you each get half. palin and simple. if he doesnt like the amnount he gets, let him be the one that says no sale, not you.

unc2701

Too bad townhouses there aren't like they are around here- usually you get a very large basement room that's perfect for HT. There you get water if you dig a hole more than 3 feet deep.

Still, good luck selling!

Oh, and start building your paper trail NOW! Find proof of everything you put into the place and if you really want to make it fun shred anythingyou can find re: him putting money into it.

steveinaz

wingnut4772 wrote:

Even the townhouse down here though I am lookin at about 300 to 350K!:eek:

Darla
If you're handy, have a real estate agent run the foreclosures list for you. Some of these just need minor repair, paint and new flooring and are typically cheap. It'll also give you a jump start on some equity. Not to mention the pride in knowing you refurbed the place yourself.

wingnut4772

The other option is to continue to live there and make the bum's life a living hell! You're not married, you are a joint property owner, unless he can prove violence and that he is in danger (even though he is!), he can't get you out of there.

That may be an option.

TroyD

Invite F1Nut over an afternoon. He seems to be a big hit with the 'not so bright' crowd.

BDT

dkg999

If you can, get some legal advice. I'm not sure what FL law is, however in some states a joint property owner that moves out can fall under an "abandonment" statute, and that would not be a good thing in your case. Also, read your mortgage legaleeze, if you are the primary borrower it may state that you must maintain the property as your residence. There may be a few things you can leverage to get your way.

If I remember right you are an LEO, so you interact with DA's and prosecuters, who have lawyer networks they can tap into. I would see if one of them has an attorney friend you could spend an hour with to get some good advice. Good Luck!

steveinaz

wingnut4772 wrote:

That may be an option.

I don't think staying there is a good option--if you don't mind me saying so. These things usually turn sour....

reeltrouble1

Sorry to hear it just did not work out Wing.

Good Luck to you.

RT1

madmax

wingnut4772 wrote:

I am worried about the townhouse idea because of my HT. It's not exactly HT in a box and I want to be able to enjoy it fully without having my co-workers come to my house because the neighbors complain..

Townhouses and HT's probably don't mix very well. You would always be at the mercy of your neighbors. Even single family homes which are within a 100' of each other can be problematic. Maybe you could get some dirt on the people on both sides before you buy a townhouse, that might work at keeping them in line.

Personally, I would take a single family home in a lesser neighborhood. Preferably with some land between you and the next neighbor.
madmax

jdhdiggs

I would not stay there and make his life a living hell. That would be bad for both of you and end up costing you a lot of time and anguish, let alone money (or worse: jobs, prison time, etc... if things really got out of hand). Get expert advice from lawyers in your networks and go from there.

tonyb

Live and learn my friend.Sorry about your situation.As a former realty guy,I can say go for the single family home.They tend to go up in value faster than all the others....townhomes,condo's.Go into nicer area's and find a house that needs work,sweat equity is a good thing.I kind of like the idea of sticking some weed in his pocket and sending him up the river.Get some legal
advice on the sale of the house.Any common law marriage laws in your state?
Don't screw up your credit rateing in the process of dealing with the ****.
Good luck to you and we know you will be much happier in the long run.:)

Polkersince85

It's just like crossing the street: Stop, Look, and Listen; then proceed with caution to avoid getting run over.

cheddar

Buy old in a good neighborhood. New houses are great, but you'll get the least amount of bang for your buck. Even if you're not handy, you can learn. Demo and power tools are great for getting out all the rage at your raw deal, and I'm sure there are buddies in your department that will work for beer...:D.

Midnite Mick

Whatever you decide to do, make your long term well being priority number one. Good luck.

Mike

wingnut4772

Thanks guys. He is really trying. He told me he is going to go to counseling and he is sorry..he loves me blah blah blah. That's all I hear ..blah.

dkg999

Faced with loss of his castle, and his meal-ticket, the male of the species always decides to play the "love" card. Grovel until he can come up with plan B. Hopefully he will really take this seriously. Wishing you all the luck in the world with this one

wingnut4772

I told him that is what he said last time and nothing changed. He actually has an appt Monday for the therapist. Blah blah blah

brettw22

Darla, in the end is it worth it if you have to continually repeat this pattern? I'd say cut your losses (lose the loser) and move on by doing whatever you need to do to get out of the house and moved somewhere else.

Frank Z

wingnut4772 wrote:

That's all I hear ..blah.

Time for an upgrade!!:D

Good luck, hope everything works out for ya.

wingnut4772

brettw22 wrote:

Darla, in the end is it worth it if you have to continually repeat this pattern? I'd say cut your losses (lose the loser) and move on by doing whatever you need to do to get out of the house and moved somewhere else.

I agree. Too little too late.

schwarcw

I'm sorry to hear of your woes Darla. The good news is that you'll be better off in the long run. The bad news is it could take some time and get ugly. Don't lose sight of the end game: to be happy:) No matter what, you will get there. Good luck!

danger boy

good luck Darla. I don't have any other advice than hasn't already been given out.

sorry you have to go thru this. Sometimes we have to go thru unpleasant time to get to the better times.. at some point.. this will all be behind you.

best of luck.

F1nut

TroyD wrote:

Invite F1Nut over an afternoon. He seems to be a big hit with the 'not so bright' crowd.

BDT

Hehe......:D

wingnut4772

Guys. I am so messed up with this situation....AND I am thoroughly confused. I am sitting here in my beautiful back yard by the pool with my dogs and really wondering if I should give this another shot.....Also...I have a slight confession to make which may put a different spin on things and I hope that you guys don't get PO'd at me but in the interest of keeping things simple on this board and avoiding any hate (like I have seen some here receive)I said that the **** was a he when it's really...well not. It's a chick.

jdhdiggs

I don't know that the revelation changes anything other than the fact the fights would be worse and last longer in that women tend to be more emotional and for a longer time. I would try to find a way out. This seems to be a repeated pattern in your relationship. Staying together for $$$ or convienance isn't what will make you happy. Would you still want to be with this person if you were living seperately? That should be your answer.