attacked by a cat

124

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  • HB27
    HB27 Posts: 1,518
    edited June 2010
    ohskigod wrote: »
    so in summation, shooting teh kitty with arrows is not nice, however, I submit that putting a cat into a pillow case, hurling him in said pillowcase down a hardwood floor into (plastic) bowling pins in a rousing game of (you guessed it) kitty bowling is a pefectly acceptable form of punishment.

    http://www.brandextract.com/catbowling/default.asp
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  • TECHNOKID
    TECHNOKID Posts: 4,298
    edited June 2010
    greyford1979 wrote: »
    LMAO this is freaking hilarious, even got a chuckle from my fiance:D:D:D:D I always have wondered what animals think lol.
    Are you suggesting HB27 is an animal? :p
    Des Moines wrote: »
    90 replies for the cat hunting vent. I would have guessed <60. This thread beat the hell out of shrimp tacos!
    yepimonfire wrote: »
    this thread is so trolled hahaha
    ...but always remained civil (even with this being so atrocious to cat lovers (which there are many here). Either Mike was very brave or a %??& when he started that thread :p
    DARE TO SOAR:
    “Your attitude, almost always determine your altitude in life” ;)
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  • Mike Kozak
    Mike Kozak Posts: 931
    edited June 2010
    I am going to go with being brave and maybe a little nuts
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  • TECHNOKID
    TECHNOKID Posts: 4,298
    edited June 2010
    WOW! Mike's still alive and breathing :eek: :p
    DARE TO SOAR:
    “Your attitude, almost always determine your altitude in life” ;)
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  • lightman1
    lightman1 Posts: 10,788
    edited June 2010
    TECHNOKID wrote: »
    WOW! Mike's still alive and breathing :eek: :p
    The flesh eating infection hasn't set in yet.....it takes a little time to incubate and cause havoc on his central nervous system.....soon oh so soon....
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  • TECHNOKID
    TECHNOKID Posts: 4,298
    edited June 2010
    lightman1 wrote: »
    The flesh eating infection hasn't set in yet.....it takes a little time to incubate and cause havoc on his central nervous system.....soon oh so soon....
    OK then ''Mike is not out of the woods (bushes) yet'' :D
    DARE TO SOAR:
    “Your attitude, almost always determine your altitude in life” ;)
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  • joeparaski
    joeparaski Posts: 1,865
    edited June 2010
    HB27 wrote: »
    CAT DIARY

    Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
    little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
    other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
    feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. ****!
    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - - but at the top of the stairs.
    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe................ for now..........

    Totally hilarious!!! Do you have more?

    Joe
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  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited June 2010
    Totally hilarous! Thanks.
    Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2
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  • dudeinaroom
    dudeinaroom Posts: 3,609
    edited June 2010
    Mike Kozak wrote: »
    I saw this cat walking down the sidewalk about 20 minutes afo and went over to pet it. It was purring and rolling on its back and all of a sudden it sent crazy and tried to bite me. I got my hand out of the way but I did not see its other paw coming for me right forearm. Now I have a big swollen scratch on my arm. If I ever see this cat again I am getting out my Bow and it is gonna get it good. Nice big broadhead through its body. Sorry to the cat lovers out there, but it is gonna happen.

    Go get that thing checked out.
    wayne3burk wrote: »
    lol -- cat scratch fever

    --wayne--

    See quote below.
    cfrizz wrote: »
    ....
    Mike, keep an eye on that scratch, it could easily become infected. If it does, get to the hospital ASAP so they can give you antibiotics & clean up the scratch.

    You have now learned a valuable lesson.

    Cat bites, scratches can seriously mess you up because of the bactria that they carry. You can die from a cat bite if left un-checked.
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  • Mike Kozak
    Mike Kozak Posts: 931
    edited June 2010
    All is well, though I did have to cut my right arm off at the elbow with an old rusty Cub Scout knife. It was just a flesh wound.
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  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,696
    edited June 2010
    Mike Kozak wrote: »
    All is well, though I did have to cut my right arm off at the elbow with an old rusty Cub Scout knife. It was just a flesh wound.


    You didn't cry, did you ?
    Sal Palooza
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  • madmax
    madmax Posts: 12,434
    edited June 2010
    Mike Kozak wrote: »
    All is well, though I did have to cut my right arm off at the elbow with an old rusty Cub Scout knife. It was just a flesh wound.

    Were you listening to Cat Scratch Fever at the time?
    Vinyl, the final frontier...

    Avantgarde horns, 300b tubes, thats the kinda crap I want... :D
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  • Mike Kozak
    Mike Kozak Posts: 931
    edited June 2010
    you guys crack me up!!!
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  • TECHNOKID
    TECHNOKID Posts: 4,298
    edited June 2010
    Mike Kozak wrote: »
    you guys crack me up!!!
    Mike is yet still alive. Lightman is surely about to send a counter attack on you. Stay away from the bushes :eek:
    DARE TO SOAR:
    “Your attitude, almost always determine your altitude in life” ;)
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  • cstmar01
    cstmar01 Posts: 4,424
    edited June 2010
    I'm headed over right now to my gf's place to take care of her cat while she's gone. The thing hates me so I'm sure I'll be annoyed with it when I'm done.
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  • lightman1
    lightman1 Posts: 10,788
    edited June 2010
    Mike Kozak wrote: »
    All is well, though I did have to cut my right arm off at the elbow with an old rusty Cub Scout knife. It was just a flesh wound.
    My plan is coming to fruition.
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  • Mike Kozak
    Mike Kozak Posts: 931
    edited June 2010
    Lightman, do not make me make a trip to Mooresville!!!!!
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  • Mike Kozak
    Mike Kozak Posts: 931
    edited June 2010
    Ok, so I saw this bigfoot outside my front door today and I went to pet it and................
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  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited June 2010
    Mike Kozak wrote: »
    Ok, so I saw this bigfoot outside my front door today and I went to pet it and................

    Man you just love to live dangerously....or you are incredibly SLOW!:eek::p;):D
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  • Mike Kozak
    Mike Kozak Posts: 931
    edited June 2010
    What a classic thread!!
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  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited June 2010
    That's for sure, I've gone from being totally pissed off, to cracking up laughing everytime I see a new post! It's been a lot of fun that's for sure.
    Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2
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  • Erik Tracy
    Erik Tracy Posts: 4,673
    edited June 2010
    I hate cats and they hate me - at least we have an understanding....;)

    H9: If you don't trust what you are hearing, then maybe you need to be less invested in a hobby which all the pleasure comes from listening to music.
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  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,696
    edited June 2010
    Mike Kozak wrote: »
    Lightman, do not make me make a trip to MooSEville!!!!!


    corrected
    Sal Palooza
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  • madmax
    madmax Posts: 12,434
    edited June 2010
    I love cats and know how devious they are, better keep the bow handy. Remember, just because you are not paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you.

    madmax
    Vinyl, the final frontier...

    Avantgarde horns, 300b tubes, thats the kinda crap I want... :D
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  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,696
    edited June 2010
    cfrizz wrote: »
    That's for sure, I've gone from being totally pissed off, to cracking up laughing everytime I see a new post! It's been a lot of fun that's for sure.

    ....then Lightman's diversionary tactics in the "Get MK" battle plan are working ...... just as he predicted they would.




    :eek:
    Sal Palooza
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  • gdb
    gdb Posts: 6,012
    edited June 2010
    Everyone should have one of these, just in case !:D

    http://www.grouchyoldcripple.com/archives/CatCarrier.jpg
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  • wz2p7j
    wz2p7j Posts: 840
    edited June 2010
    Erik Tracy wrote: »
    I hate cats and they hate me - at least we have an understanding....;)

    Cats actually love you - they just don't understand you :D:D

    Chris
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited June 2010
    Hey Mike, not for nothing but I think people go over board with the "infections" that cat bites or scratches cause. My sister has two cats and my sister-in-law has one. Although I'm not a cat lover, I get down and dirty playing with these cats. When all is said and done I always walk away with numerous scratches and bite marks to the point where my arms and hands look like the American Flag!!! I just wash the wounds clean with hot water and antibacterial soap.

    I still have both my arms and haven't needed to cut them off with any kind of knife let alone a rusty Cub Scout knife LOL!!!!!
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  • BIZILL
    BIZILL Posts: 5,432
    edited June 2010
    it's funny the things we recall from our childhood. one of my most vivid memories from when i was about 5 years old was when i was playing with a neighborhood buddy and his older 15 year old sister came walking up the driveway to her home with scratches (that looked more like gashes to myself as a youngin') across her forehead. 3 to 4 nice and parallel scratches that were bleeding from a cat that took a swipe at her. good thing it missed her eyes.

    anyway, since that day on i've always had a certain "respect" for cats and know that even though all may seem well, something may be brewing and comin' on 'round the bend at any given time. we didn't have cool shows like "when animals attack" on the tele when i was a kid that do their part in warning us what could happen when it comes to animals.

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    bobman1235 wrote:
    I have no facts to back that up, but I never let facts get in the way of my arguments.
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  • lightman1
    lightman1 Posts: 10,788
    edited June 2010
    Mike Kozak wrote: »
    Lightman, do not make me make a trip to Mooresville!!!!!
    One step across the 77 North bridge at Langtree, I shall release all Kitty Hell upon you and your minions. I can throw a cat about 68 yards with all claws on the ready.Recon cat has reported an anti-bacterial arsenal in your backyard......
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