attacked by a cat

135

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  • yepimonfire
    yepimonfire Posts: 256
    edited June 2010
    im going to turn on the oven....
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  • concealer404
    concealer404 Posts: 7,440
    edited June 2010
    I think my cat is big enough that if he really wanted to, he could damn near kill me.
    I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.

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  • Mike Kozak
    Mike Kozak Posts: 931
    edited June 2010
    Out of the Oven, made another Vodka drink, almost out of go go juice, may have to make an ABC run
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  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 32,953
    edited June 2010
    You've been targeted for assination Mike....better pack up,move,change your name,get some plastic surgery to hide your true identity. Anything less will be a futile attempt at survival, by these radical extremist kittys.:)
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  • Mike Kozak
    Mike Kozak Posts: 931
    edited June 2010
    I am in danger.....grave danger? Is there another kind?
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  • jephdood
    jephdood Posts: 1,671
    edited June 2010
    LASER CAT!

    z75240871.jpg
    "I did not slap you. I high-fived your face."
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  • Mike Kozak
    Mike Kozak Posts: 931
    edited June 2010
    Now that is FUNNY!!!! Lets all Party!!!!!! "Hay Sabu, can you make a bullshot......Can you make a shoe smell?"
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  • gdb
    gdb Posts: 6,012
    edited June 2010
    Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose. Garrison Keillor

    http://www.carrotmuseum.co.uk/catquotes1.html
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  • greyford1979
    greyford1979 Posts: 749
    edited June 2010
    HB27 wrote: »
    CAT DIARY

    Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
    little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
    other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
    feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. ****!
    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - - but at the top of the stairs.
    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe................ for now..........

    LMAO this is freaking hilarious, even got a chuckle from my fiance:D:D:D:D I always have wondered what animals think lol.
    I love animals, they're delicious!
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  • gtu2004
    gtu2004 Posts: 620
    edited June 2010
    probably you did not know how to pet the cat correctly. cats normally don't like getting their feet touched. putting your hand right next to the cat's mouth can sometimes be dangerous as well. some cats like their chins petted but if it goes on for too long, they may not like it.
    Onkyo 805, RtiA5s, Csi5, Rti6s
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  • madmax
    madmax Posts: 12,434
    edited June 2010
    Cats can be very dangerous if they decide they don't like you. Way back my own cat who never bothered anyone tried to attack some woman that walked into the house. Never before or after that one time. Weird, I wonder what brought that on.
    Vinyl, the final frontier...

    Avantgarde horns, 300b tubes, thats the kinda crap I want... :D
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  • gtu2004
    gtu2004 Posts: 620
    edited June 2010
    wz2p7j wrote: »
    Yeah - cats can get defensive/playful on their backs. If you're not expecting it, they can startle you with a bite.

    Cats are pretty smart when it comes to biting you. They normally don't bite as hard as they can. You may think the cat is biting hard but in the cat's mind, they are "backing off."

    I know because I have worked with some shelter cats. You would not believe how hard they can bite you. After that, when my cat bit me I realized he was taking it easy on me!

    Some fun facts about cats:
    Last animal domesticated by man - closest to their wild roots
    Only non-pack and non-herding animal domesticated by man
    Only animals domesticated that were lone hunters in the wild
    Genetically identical to the African wildcat


    Chris

    Very true. They normally will scratch & bite you as a warning if they know you.

    However my boy cat once bit me so hard I almost passed out. And I had him since he was a tiny kitten as well.

    I used to have 2 cats, 1 boy and 1 girl. The girl went under the bed and I was shooshing at her with a stick to get her out. All the while I was holding the boy. The boy thought i was taking the girl cat away (previously his ex-gf cat had been lost, he became sick and sensitive), and he bit my hand. It was so painful I almost didn't know wtf was going on for like 5 seconds. That was the only time he bit me that hard. He even had a nerve to come after me when i went washing my wounds. He ran away when I shooshed him w/ the stick though. But I still love him very much.
    Onkyo 805, RtiA5s, Csi5, Rti6s
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  • FTGV
    FTGV Posts: 3,649
    edited June 2010
    One of our cats bit my daughter on the hand while she was petting it.Infection set in very quickly and she required antibiotics.That kitty has a new home now.
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  • bsturgeon89
    bsturgeon89 Posts: 128
    edited June 2010
    Was this the one?

    http://purinaanimalallstars.yahoo.com/?v=7410373&l=100000085
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  • Mike Kozak
    Mike Kozak Posts: 931
    edited June 2010
    Well I think I am ok, yhe swelling has gone and no pain
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  • lightman1
    lightman1 Posts: 10,788
    edited June 2010
    My cat sent me a full report of your activities today. That's right...recon cat strikes again!
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  • TECHNOKID
    TECHNOKID Posts: 4,298
    edited June 2010
    Mike Kozak wrote: »
    Well I think I am ok, yhe swelling has gone and no pain
    Stay away from the bushes, you're dead meat :eek::eek:Next time you're up for more than just a little scratch!

    By the way, stay away from Canada, Canuk cats are ''wild-cats''!
    DARE TO SOAR:
    “Your attitude, almost always determine your altitude in life” ;)
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited June 2010
    TECHNOKID wrote: »
    Stay away from the bushes, you're dead meat :eek::eek:Next time you're up for more than just a little scratch!

    By the way, stay away from Canada, Canuk cats are ''wild-cats''!

    Are they born with ice skates on like human Canucks?:D:p
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  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,696
    edited June 2010
    cfrizz wrote: »
    Mike, keep an eye on that scratch, it could easily become infected. If it does, get to the hospital ASAP so they can give you antibiotics & clean up the scratch.

    Ms. Cfrizz, what kind of cupcake advice is that ? Mike, just pop open a nice cold frosty one, grit your teeth, and man up ! The swelling and infection will go away ..... eventually.


    A lot of people don't realize how dangerous kitties .... I mean, cats ..... can be ! After hearing of this terrifying ordeal that was endured by a fellow Polkie ;), I contacted the National Feline Awareness Society, and they sent out an investigative team to Mike's neighborhood. They were able to track down the dangerous feline in question and managed to videograph this rabid animal in action :

    (Warning: shocking video that may not be suitable for young children .....in fact, at :32 I believe this killer attempts to have "relations" with that pig)


    <object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UIaysqSe1RI&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UIaysqSe1RI&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&quot; type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>





    :)
    Sal Palooza
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,137
    edited June 2010
    mrbigbluelight wrote: »
    Ms. Cfrizz, what kind of cupcake advice is that ? Mike, just pop open a nice cold frosty one, grit your teeth, and man up ! The swelling and infection will go away ..... eventually.


    A lot of people don't realize how dangerous kitties .... I mean, cats ..... can be ! After hearing of this terrifying ordeal that was endured by a fellow Polkie ;), I contacted the National Feline Awareness Society, and they sent out an investigative team to Mike's neighborhood. They were able to track down the dangerous feline in question and managed to videograph this rabid animal in action :

    (Warning: shocking video that may not be suitable for young children .....in fact, at :32 I believe this killer attempts to have "relations" with that pig)


    <object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UIaysqSe1RI&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UIaysqSe1RI&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&quot; type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>





    :)

    WWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA!!!!!!

    What a side splitting vid and they couldn't have picked better music to go along with it!!!
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  • TECHNOKID
    TECHNOKID Posts: 4,298
    edited June 2010
    hearingimpared wrote: »
    Are they born with ice skates on like human Canucks?:D:p
    Heh man, when talking Canucks and wild cats, we"re not talking **** here ;) ''You have to be able to skate a little more than that to squish-crush a Canuck'' :p
    DARE TO SOAR:
    “Your attitude, almost always determine your altitude in life” ;)
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  • lightman1
    lightman1 Posts: 10,788
    edited June 2010
    mrbigbluelight wrote: »
    Ms. Cfrizz, what kind of cupcake advice is that ? Mike, just pop open a nice cold frosty one, grit your teeth, and man up ! The swelling and infection will go away ..... eventually.


    A lot of people don't realize how dangerous kitties .... I mean, cats ..... can be ! After hearing of this terrifying ordeal that was endured by a fellow Polkie ;), I contacted the National Feline Awareness Society, and they sent out an investigative team to Mike's neighborhood. They were able to track down the dangerous feline in question and managed to videograph this rabid animal in action :

    (Warning: shocking video that may not be suitable for young children .....in fact, at :32 I believe this killer attempts to have "relations" with that pig)


    <object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UIaysqSe1RI&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UIaysqSe1RI&hl=en_US&fs=1&rel=0&quot; type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>





    :)

    That cat gots mad skillz! I shall try to hire him on to the crew. One more soldier in my "Drive Kozak insane" plan.
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  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,696
    edited June 2010
    lightman1 wrote: »
    One more soldier in my "Drive Kozak insane" plan.


    Which shall henceforth be referred to as "Plan A" by "The Henchmen"
    Sal Palooza
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  • TECHNOKID
    TECHNOKID Posts: 4,298
    edited June 2010
    mrbigbluelight wrote: »
    Which shall henceforth be referred to as "Plan A" by "The Henchmen"
    I guess you didn't want me to read you (I needed to put gasses on to read that humm). I guess I don't have ****'s eyes :D
    DARE TO SOAR:
    “Your attitude, almost always determine your altitude in life” ;)
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  • madmax
    madmax Posts: 12,434
    edited June 2010
    Great video. I never imagined mike was purple and yellow. :D
    Vinyl, the final frontier...

    Avantgarde horns, 300b tubes, thats the kinda crap I want... :D
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  • Des Moines
    Des Moines Posts: 115
    edited June 2010
    90 replies for the cat hunting vent. I would have guessed <60. This thread beat the hell out of shrimp tacos!
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  • lightman1
    lightman1 Posts: 10,788
    edited June 2010
    mrbigbluelight wrote: »
    Which shall henceforth be referred to as "Plan A" by "The Henchmen"
    10-4 and roger that, BBL. There are a couple of rather surly lookin' felines down the street that could be had on the cheap. They may just do it just for poops and giggles! I'll keep you posted.
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  • yepimonfire
    yepimonfire Posts: 256
    edited June 2010
    this thread is so trolled hahaha
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  • Mike Kozak
    Mike Kozak Posts: 931
    edited June 2010
    you are all nuts
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  • ohskigod
    ohskigod Posts: 6,502
    edited June 2010
    so in summation, shooting teh kitty with arrows is not nice, however, I submit that putting a cat into a pillow case, hurling him in said pillowcase down a hardwood floor into (plastic) bowling pins in a rousing game of (you guessed it) kitty bowling is a pefectly acceptable form of punishment.
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