Am I In Love

bigaudiofanatic

Going to be meeting her in 3 weeks or a little sooner.

Ricardo

I would forget the whole thing and move on. Don't they have real, live girls in NJ??

reeltrouble1

I hope you meet Heather and live happily ever after.

I recall this line from Grumpy Old Men.

Did you mount the woman???

RT1

bigaudiofanatic

reeltrouble1 wrote: »

I hope you meet Heather and live happily ever after.

I recall this line from Grumpy Old Men.

Did you mount the woman???

RT1

LMAO i was watching that the other day funny movie thanks man. We will see what happens.
http://www.moviesounds.com/grumpy/mounther.wav

zombie boy 2000

Jstas... your story is ringing major bells. My college roommate had a girl leave him for just a few weeks. Came back pregos and for the first time in his entire life, he was truly happy. That is until the uber-**** started getting vindicative and dropping "hints" that his only true source of happiness might not be his. A DNA test later... and his world basically crumbled.

Good man that he is, he still wanted to take that child in. Last I heard, that child and that **** were in Mexico - sans immunizations. I feel like punching a wall just typing this.

doggie750

schwarcw wrote: »

Take your time and let the relationship develop. What's your hurry? Enjoy the good times and don't rush into a wedding. I'm sorry to hear about her past experiences and current condition. I wouldn't want that for anyone. Good luck to both of you!

To bigaudio: It's not love yet.......but may lead on there. Patience is the greatest virtue. Relax and smell the roses. You'll know when it's love when you dont need to ask anyone even from this forum. Right POLKs?

May the good force be with you both. Godspeed.

vlam

Going to be meeting her in 3 weeks or a little sooner.

Dude, are you insane! You are asking if you are in love when you haven't even met this girl in person? You are just asking for dissapointments! There is nothing wrong with meeting companion online but it's a huge difference face to face. That's great that you 2 are able to communicate on the phone/internet but that doesn't equal a real relationship.

Rivrrat

What everyone is saying here about baggage is right, I heard all the same comments about a woman I was interested in too (except she wasn't pregnant, she was just coming off a divorce with three kids) .

We've been married for 20 yrs now.

If I were you, I'd be more worried about what you think then what anone else thinks.

billbillw

Dude,
I'm sorry, but you can't really be in love with someone you haven't even met in person. You have to spend real time with someone to make that type of emotional connection. This girl seems to have very serious issues. There are many, many out there who don't. Keep looking! Oh, and find someone local who you can have a face to face relationship with.

dholmes

Ive been down that road hes on,hes going to get fu_ked!!! I hope Im wrong for his sake .Ive been in love 100 times,but did I like them,thats more important than love is liking them.

tommyboy

bigaudiofanatic wrote: »

Okay midis will tell people here. see was raped that is how she became pregnant we havent even had sex yet.

You haven't even met her yet. Man, slow down. Talking on the phone for hours on end is a part of any relationship, but its what you two do together is what means the most.

I think you might be better off trying to date a few other people first (and in person;)) before going any further with this one. It just sounds like the whole rape and pregnancy deal are stories to cover up her past if you ask me.

Pauly

the tags are brutal. lol


gold digger, gullible fool, pathetic, sucker, train wreck


Good luck on your quest for love. I wish you the best. But i just have one thing to say.

PRENUP

concealer404

Considering what i've been throught the last 2 months relationship-wise.... i'd have to say run away.

But take that with a grain of salt. As i took the decision that everyone told me not to.

Nobody knows better than you.

But the SENSIBLE thing to do would be to run away screaming. But love isn't sensible. But love doesn't happen in 2 months, either.

4406bbl

spasticpitbull wrote: »

the tags are brutal. lol


gold digger, gullible fool, pathetic, sucker, train wreck


Good luck on your quest for love. I wish you the best. But i just have one thing to say.

PRENUP

Blood test,credit check, then see if you LIKE her,then prenup.

disneyjoe7

Sorry I sense Danger Danger...

Norm Apter

Yes, let me reiterate what others have said after you fully disclosed that you haven't even met her in person yet. Had I known that at the beginning, my advice would have been even more conservative than the generally cautious approach I advocated in my initial reaction.

When I was talking about a 4-5 month period as a turning point, I was referring to a situation in which I was basically seeing and doing things with the girl every day, not talking on the phone.

I'm going to give you an example on how a phone relationship could go wrong, because I feel yours would be vulnerable to the same sort of thing. About 12 years ago, I dated a girl during one summer (total about 4 months) before I headed out to China for a 12-month period. We kept in contact over the phone and mostly through letters (no e-mail at that time) during the time I was abroad. Everything appeared great when I was preparing to return to the U.S. We planned to get an apartment together and everything, and then, after I got back everything fell apart. It turned out that we really had just become emotional supports for each other during that time we were separated. WE had basically fantasized ourself into a serious relationship. We both thought we were in love, but after I got back to the U.S. it took me about two weeks to realize that we should not move in together and then another two weeks that we should break up.

Heather's going through a lot of (emotional) **** right now and she really needs someone like you -- a support -- to help her through it. But that would seem very tied to her situation. So, you need to keep that in mind, no matter how pure you think your feelings are. But most of all don't be thinking long-term at all until you've actually met and spend time with her on a daily basis. Maybe I'm old-school, but I would say that prior to meeting her you're just chat buddies. Its just not much to base a relationship on....so in a word: caution.

Shizelbs

I wouldn't date a med student even if she was free of baggage. I can't imagine how horrible it would be to be fully committed to someone during their residency years. (4-5 years of 100 hours at the hospital per week).

tommyboy

Norm Apter wrote: »

Maybe I'm old-school, but I would say that prior to meeting her you're just chat buddies. Its just not much to base a relationship on....so in a word: caution.

How could it be any more than chat buddies, they never met.

My big question for you is why are you meeting her in three weeks but not a month ago? If it is because of distance (which it probably is), then that is reason #55 of why you shouldn't be "together". Not only is everything you mentioned previously going to make a relationship doomed to failure, distance will make it impossible for any "real" relationship.

Take our advice, get out now and find someone actually worth your time.

Jstas

zombie boy 2000 wrote: »

Jstas... your story is ringing major bells. My college roommate had a girl leave him for just a few weeks. Came back pregos and for the first time in his entire life, he was truly happy. That is until the uber-**** started getting vindicative and dropping "hints" that his only true source of happiness might not be his. A DNA test later... and his world basically crumbled.

Good man that he is, he still wanted to take that child in. Last I heard, that child and that **** were in Mexico - sans immunizations. I feel like punching a wall just typing this.

Yeah, crazy stuff. It's amazing what some people do and how much they are willing to take. But loneliness can make someone blind to the fact that the girl is just looking for a replacement daddy. Hopefully your friend is still with her and things are going well. My friend was never even married but she bilks him out of over $400 a month for child support. He only has one kid with her and she has two other kids from two other dads. She's raking in probably over a grand a month in just child support. He first kid was with an ex husband who still has to pay alimony to the tune of $500 a month until she either remarries or his kid turns 18. He's got about 10 more years of that. Meanwhile she is living with her boyfriend who's daddy owns a string of junkyard and they, literally, don't work.

Some deal right there.

bigaudiofanatic

Jstas wrote: »

Yeah, crazy stuff. It's amazing what some people do and how much they are willing to take. But loneliness can make someone blind to the fact that the girl is just looking for a replacement daddy. Hopefully your friend is still with her and things are going well. My friend was never even married but she bilks him out of over $400 a month for child support. He only has one kid with her and she has two other kids from two other dads. She's raking in probably over a grand a month in just child support. He first kid was with an ex husband who still has to pay alimony to the tune of $500 a month until she either remarries or his kid turns 18. He's got about 10 more years of that. Meanwhile she is living with her boyfriend who's daddy owns a string of junkyard and they, literally, don't work.

Some deal right there.

NOW THAT RIGHT THERE HAS GOTTEN MY ATTENTION:eek: YOU SAY NEVER MARRIED BUT HAD TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT. WAS IT HIS OR NOT. HMMM MAYBE THAT TRAVEL MONEY NEEDS TO GO TO A NEW SET OF RTI'S

billbillw

bigaudiofanatic wrote: »

NOW THAT RIGHT THERE HAS GOTTEN MY ATTENTION:eek: YOU SAY NEVER MARRIED BUT HAD TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT. WAS IT HIS OR NOT. HMMM MAYBE THAT TRAVEL MONEY NEEDS TO GO TO A NEW SET OF RTI'S

Yes. This can and frequently does happen. Most courts look at whether you accept a child to raise. Once you accept that responsibility, you can end up being stuck with the financial responsibility, regardless of whether a paternity test clears you, regardless of whether you were married or not.

bigaudiofanatic

Well I am calling it time to talk this over with her. screw that i am not ready for a child. Not getting coned into pay support for someone else child "if she decides to keep it.

Shizelbs

Just like that its over?

bigaudiofanatic

Shizelbs wrote: »

Just like that its over?

Well I am going to talk to her about it tonight and depending on what she says and how she acts like trying to change the subject or what not. I will be calling it. But I dont have doubt in my mind what is worrying me is what is she does keep this baby. I want to live my life with my partner not be pulled down by having a child. But if she talks with me and tells me truthfully what here intentions are than we will go from there. I just don't want to have to worry about a child right now. 20 years old i still have fun to have I was just hoping to share that fun with someone. I will however tread softly if we continue our relationship it might be love I dont know that is why I asked peoples opinions, it might turn out to be the one I dont know.

bobman1235

Musta been true love.

vlam

Well I am going to talk to her about it tonight and depending on what she says and how she acts like trying to change the subject or what not. I will be calling it. But I dont have doubt in my mind what is worrying me is what is she does keep this baby. I want to live my life with my partner not be pulled down by having a child. But if she talks with me and tells me truthfully what here intentions are than we will go from there. I just don't want to have to worry about a child right now. 20 years old i still have fun to have I was just hoping to share that fun with someone. I will however tread softly if we continue our relationship it might be love I dont know that is why I asked peoples opinions, it might turn out to be the one I dont know.

Relationship? I wouldn't call what you have going on a relationship. You being 20 explains it all. Do know what they say about having acquaintances versus friends? In your case, you have an Internet chat buddy, that's all until you two decide to get together and start a relationship. She could be married and have a few kids already. What have you done to earn her trust? vice versa?

I'll give you this advice...Proceed with caution and low expectation.

Jstas

bigaudiofanatic wrote: »

NOW THAT RIGHT THERE HAS GOTTEN MY ATTENTION:eek: YOU SAY NEVER MARRIED BUT HAD TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT. WAS IT HIS OR NOT. HMMM MAYBE THAT TRAVEL MONEY NEEDS TO GO TO A NEW SET OF RTI'S

Oh, that kid is his. His current wife is the one in question. He says the kid is his. The kid barely looks anything like him. She got pregnant when he and her were on the outs. He thinks she was with only one other guy who was a dark skinned Puerto Rican dude. So just because the baby isn't brown he thinks it's his. But, I know and a few other people know that it was at least 4 people who have the possibility of being the dad and maybe even a 5th.

But he's the only one that can support the kid. So he has "accepted" the kid as his and that's all well and good and noble but she was just looking for an adequate dad. He doesn't see it. He's miserable and he's a dude in his mid-30's married to a chick that just turned 21 two weeks ago and has a 9 month old child that probably isn't his. Well, 20% chance it is. Meanwhile he's dumping a 1/4 of his monthly pay check to the mom of the kid that we KNOW is his and she's living high on the hog with 3 child support payments all over $350 a month plus $500 a month in alimony. She swindled that deal because the child support from the 3 different dads is being handled by 3 different states and the alimony comes from the first dad in like Virginia or something.

The stories just go on and on. I never had to do stupid stuff when I was growing up. I just sat back and watched my stupid friends do the stupid stuff. I got all the stories but none of the injuries or criminal records.

bigaudiofanatic

O okay that is a tad different than what I assumed you were saying. I will talk with her tonight but just change what i was going to say and ask a bit.

ben62670

Keep in mind she is already under the influence of heavy hormonal changes.
Been there done that THREE times.

tommyboy

ben62670 wrote: »

Keep in mind she is already under the influence of heavy hormonal changes.
Been there done that THREE times.

Really though, he has quite a few problems he has to figure out too.

c'mon, thinking you are in love with a person you never met.... its just sad.

I'll admit, i've never been truly in love either (I'm 23, don't judge me too much). But whenever I really did think I was(hell, we all do at some point in a good relationship), I would think of the moments we had and did with eachother, not what we said on the phone.

bigaudiofanatic, I'm not trying to hurt you, but I hope you can understand this. You aren't in love, and you can't have a relationship with a girl that you talk to on the phone with and only seen a picture of. You guys should try to meet up sometime, but do it as friends and maybe try going on date. If the date works out, then take it from there.