Am I In Love

bigaudiofanatic

Well it has been about 2 months sense I have meet Heather on eharmony and things are going great. I have never felt this way about ANY girl before. We communicate very openly about everything from our past present and future. We have been talking for about 6 hours just about everyday. And I wouldn't trade it for anything. When we are at work of not talking with each other we think of one another and how much we miss the other one. I am wondering if I have found the one the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I am wondering is this what love is. Happy open communication between partners and enjoying life while doing it. What do you think, comments advice all welcome.

Airplay355

I think 2 months is way too soon to consider marrying the girl. If I married every girl I couldn't stop thinking about after 2 months I'd have a lot of ex wives and probably a lot of children.

I'm not sure how old you are and I know things are a little (a lot) different when you're older but I'm 20 and I've been with my girlfriend for 2.5 years and I STILL have no idea if she's the one.

In my limited experience I think it's best to wait and enjoy each other for a while longer before committing to anything. What's the rush anyway, are you going to love her more once you're married? For now, I think just sit back and enjoy the ride.

And to answer your question...no you are not in love. You love speakers and that's the only kind of love you need

Norm Apter

Is Heather the one who is 3 months pregnant, by someone else, that you told us about before?

If so, I would hold off on any long term plans until you see how it goes on that front.

If there were no extraneous complications (such as pregnancy with another father) then I would still give it some more time. I found in my past that 4 or 5 months served as a key turning point. I either got bored at the point or things just keep getting better. Not that I would even consider marriage after 5 months. Thats just a general guidepost. So, in sum, no need to rush anything.

bobman1235

Dude, if you don't know, certainly no one can tell you. She's not going anywhere, you're not going anywhere, just keep doin' what you're doing and see how it goes.

Best of luck to ya.

Airplay355

Turning point for me is about 8 or 9 months...and no, not because that's when the first baby pops out, but that just seems to be when I get bored or get dumped

bigaudiofanatic

Norm Apter wrote: »

Is Heather the one who is 3 months pregnant, by someone else, that you told us about before?

If so, I would hold off on any long term plans until you see how it goes on that front.

If there were no extraneous complications (such as pregnancy with another father) then I would still give it some more time. I found in my past that 4 or 5 months served as a key turning point. I either got bored at the point or things just keep getting better. Not that I would even consider marriage after 5 months. Thats just a general guidepost. So, in sum, no need to rush anything.

Yes the same one but the pregnancy was well lets say she was forced not to get pregnant but to do something she didnt want to do. That has already been planed she will be letting one of her aunts adopt the child it has already been setup of cores things could change. But your right no need to rush anything.

dkg999

I hear warning bells going off :eek: Some people change, most don't, a lot of people can change temporarily but not long term.

Demiurge

Uh, dude, no offense...but you're setting yourself up for disaster down the road. This chick has a ton of baggage just based on what you've told us so far.

Do what you will, but I have dated a few chicks that ended up having issues, and in the long run you're the only one who is going to get hurt. The fact she's willing to pawn off her own child on a family member tells me more than I need to know. She doesn't even have her own best interests in mind, how is she going to have yours?

Get out before it's painful.

bigaudiofanatic

Well she is doing that not for me but for herself she is going threw med school right now and has 4 more years to go I understand what your saying. And I will keep that in mind.

Mike682

Open and honest communication is a great start when building a relationship. See how things are when the relationship shifts focus from learning about eachother to living/functioning as an established couple.

In other words: Keep it going and see how things are over the next 6-8 months.

Demiurge

nm...

jtgranby

Am I In Love

NO

She is in Med school and is with baby?? Have you met her in person?? Be careful and take it slow. Good Luck.

JT

bigaudiofanatic

Okay midis will tell people here. see was raped that is how she became pregnant we havent even had sex yet.

Demiurge

B-a-g-g-a-g-e

ben62670

Been there done that.
When you meet someone online you meet who you want to meet, and not necessarily who they are. You really need to spend lots of time with her friends, and family. Then you can really see how she is. I ignored how much I didn't care for her mom, and how she acted when she was with her friends. She was incredibly nice to me till two months before we got married(I know). Not trying to scare you away, but having two little girls with divorced parents sucks!

Edit: Just read title, and replied
Baby situation... no way. Do you know how some women act after having kids. Daddy hunting. I was set up on a blind date with a prego before. I think you would be better off to shoot yourself now. Sorry dude.

bobman1235

Uh yeah, dude.... not to say someone who's had a bad run can't go on to have a normal relationship, but.... chances are very low. She's coming off something traumatic and you're a nice guy so she's gonna cling to you like glue. This WILL take a turn for the worse and you will go down with the ship.

dkg999

Demiurge wrote: »

B-a-g-g-a-g-e

+1 on that!

schwarcw

Take your time and let the relationship develop. What's your hurry? Enjoy the good times and don't rush into a wedding. I'm sorry to hear about her past experiences and current condition. I wouldn't want that for anyone. Good luck to both of you!

bigaudiofanatic

schwarcw wrote: »

Take your time and let the relationship develop. What's your hurry? Enjoy the good times and don't rush into a wedding. I'm sorry to hear about her past experiences and current condition. I wouldn't want that for anyone. Good luck to both of you!

Thank you yes slow and steady.

daboyz

Just take it verrrrrrrrrry slow and good luck but the bells are a ringin' pretty loud from where I'm sitting.

Demiurge

To you it probably sounds like we just don't know how awesome this chick is. I'm telling you man, anyone telling you to hit the hills running have all been there with women with baggage.

Everyone has rough patches in life, the difference here is there is no way she's over hers and ready for you. Traumatic experience like that? No way.

Disc Jockey

No matter how you feel about her compared to other women you have dated, you just can not rely on how you feel after two months to predict anything about your future. Give it time. And if she has a troubled past or previous bad relationships, beware the white knight complex, it won't do either of you any good. Not saying that's you cause I don't know you or your situation but be aware.

Airplay355

Run and don't look back man. Think of all the money you will save!!! Women are money pits and children are way worse.

You gotta have your own interests in mind

Ron-P

Two months is WAY to soon, [looks over shoulder] heck I'm going on 21 years with the same woman and I still wonder if she's the right one.

BIZILL

the simple way to answer whether or not you're in love with a woman is the way you feel about her AFTER you have just finished making sweet, sweet love. if you're ready to go home or ask her to depart...well, you got your answer there. if you want to lay there and kiss her and caress her and this that n the other, chances are it may still be nothing more than infatuation.

seems as though my reply will not help any. anyway, just trying to get back into the club polk mix for a bit.

Jstas

Baggage? THAT'S an understatement!


Dude, she is going to have issues with the whole thing. Maternal instincts kick in and while she is OK with it all now, it's going to drive her nuts that she doesn't have her kid. Also, post-partum depression is a big, big risk in a case like that.

But if she is in med school, how does she have time for a BF? Also, not trying to bag on her and it's more info than needed but I'm just putting some food-for-thought out there. How did she get raped? Was she picked up off the street or was it with a dude and got a little too inebriated? If she hasn't told you how, find out. I'm betting it's a whole sketchy thing, so sketchy that she hasn't pressed charges and it's more along the lines of she can't believe she screwed up like that and can't deal with her own failure to herself. To make it all ok, she blames the dude and says she was raped to save some kind of face.

Then again, I could be way off base.

But, I had a girl cheat on me, got pregnant, didn't know about it for 2 months, broke up with me about 2 weeks after I found out she cheated and then tried to get back with me after she found out she was pregnant so that she could try and trap me. Like I wouldn't realize a full-term baby doesn't pop out in just over 6 months.

You want to talk about baggage, I've got some experience with baggage. Buy me a pitcher or 6 some time and I'll fill you in. But my experience is screaming "bad news" like Ben already said. Hang out with her and see how it pans out but if you haven't met her yet and you're just talking on the phone, these are all GIGANTIC red flags. Watch yourself dude and if you do sleep with her, wrap the hot dog before you put it in the bun. Girls that are shady often hide more than just emotional baggage. Don't want to end up with a surprise gift that keeps on giving.


Funny story about that. Had a friend who slept with a chick and got a "rash" a few days later. He asked her what it was all about and she said it was from "a chemical imbalance and they were incompatible...chemically". What's worse is that the moron believed it. Not much he could do about it since the deed was done and he gets to do all the cool stuff in the Valtrex commercials 'cause according to those things, it looks like awesome amounts of fun to have herpes. The REALLY bad part is that he didn't know what it was until 2 other girls he slept with called him and told him they had it too and they got it from him 'cause they hadn't been with anyone else.

F1nut

You're asking for relationship advice on an audio forum.......Hello!!!

mrbigbluelight

bigaudiofanatic wrote: »

Yes the same one but the pregnancy was well lets say she was forced not to get pregnant but to do something she didnt want to do. That has already been planed she will be letting one of her aunts adopt the child it has already been setup of cores things could change. But your right no need to rush anything.

I'm not exactly sure what's meant by "forced not to get pregnant". Maybe that's a typo and you meant "forced to get pregnant" as in rape.

Is this the gal that was a stripper at one time, and has a couple of other kids ?

F1nut wrote: »

You're asking for relationship advice on an audio forum.......Hello!!!

Polkies are generally acknowledged to be well versed in all matters relating to the ladies.

:rolleyes:

george daniel

F1nut wrote: »

You're asking for relationship advice on an audio forum.......Hello!!!

Gold Jesse,Gold,,, :D

bigaudiofanatic

Keiko wrote: »

Runaway now! Buy more gear while you still can. Before you become, "noaudiofrantic"

NO That would be a nightmare.:eek:

Mike Reeter

I think I missed out on the previous thread about this relationshhip...have you actually met this girl,or is this strickly an on line thing?

Just curious