Single again!!!
Comments
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Troy will mellow after he gets over the jet lag or over the soju hangover.
j/k
Ha ha! I wish!
No, you know.....I can't wait to retire from the military. It's not the BS and the deployments and all the time spent from home. I don't like it but these are the lives we choose.
What drives me batshit is the level of stupidity I deal with constantly, specifically guys who if they aren't thinking with thier dicks are acting directly on it's behalf who THEN have the audacity to be surprised when the bill comes due. I'm big on responsibility and very little on the 'oh woe is me' thing.
BDTI plan for the future. - F1Nut -
Troy,I'm big on responsibility and very little on the 'oh woe is me' thing.
BDT
I'm with you on that one... the AF made me grow up in a big way. I had to learn the hard way in my early twenties, but I'm better for it. Reality hasn't hit most people hard enough until they're older and beyond reasonable help to fix the mistakes of their youth.
Josh,
Get that DNA test and seek some counseling. You gotta get your ducks in a row to deal with one problem at a time -- from most severe to least -- and it probably is better to get someone external to yourself to identify those requirements. Good luck. -
You know what. I can't be mad at Troy. I think that's what the military calls "tough love". I'm used to from my grandpa and uncle and cousin all being in the military. He's right though. I don't have it as bad as I THINK I do. And yeah things are a little rough for me emotionally. I'm not gonna take her back. I'm done with her. I'm gonna try to get my kid on a regular basis - you can guarantee that. I dunno that I think I have to have somebody in my life to make it, but for some screwed up reason I do. Maybe I'll try the single thing. I do need to get everything straightened up with my child first and foremost. Tomorrow after work I'm going down to the court house and asking them how much it would cost to issue a DNA test. That boy of mine better be mine because he looks identical to me. But if he's not I'm gonna tell her that I don't ever want anything to do with her again. I found out today that I'm gonna be left a 3 bedroom house so I'm thinking about fixing it back up a little bit.
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Ms Winehouse, please report to REHAB.
It's never too late to learn how to live. Get sober, and study hard.-Ignorance is strength - -
Lesson 1: Avoid girls at strip clubs. It's their business to BS guys
and get their money. Nice girls DON'T work at strip clubs.
Lesson 2: Little head will always get you in trouble. Use the bigger one
More.
Lesson 3: Alcohol will always make the wrong choices for you.
Moderation is a lifesaver.
Lesson 4: If you ask for someone's opinion, expect an answer, not
sympathy. Life's not an Oprah show.
Lesson 5: If you had spent more time with your speakers, you wouldn't
be in this mess!"The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods, or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." --Thomas Jefferson -
sucks2beme wrote: »Lesson 5: If you had spent more time with your speakers, you wouldn't be in this mess!
Yep. Drill a small **** hole in your left speaker, put on some Barry White, and handle your business. It'll be a lot safer for yourself and others.:DHT/2-channel Rig: Sony 50 LCD TV; Toshiba HD-A2 DVD player; Emotiva LMC-1 pre/pro; Rogue Audio M-120 monoblocks (modded); Placette RVC; Emotiva LPA-1 amp; Bada HD-22 tube CDP (modded); VMPS Tower II SE (fronts); DIY Clearwave Dynamic 4CC (center); Wharfedale Opus Tri-Surrounds (rear); and VMPS 215 sub
"God grooves with tubes." -
Josh, whether you liked the manner in which Troy delivered his dead-on-the-money advice or not, you ought to be thankful for it.
You asked if there are any decent women left ?
The answer is, "Yes".
However...... I hope you don't meet any of them. Yet.
At least until you get you act together.
If you don't think you have an alcohol problem, quit drinking for 3 months.
Simple.
Life ain't easy, and life ain't always fair.
If you think your life is tough, it's because you're pooping in your end of the pool and then you're thinking life's handed you a **** deal.
There are a lot of folks on here who could probably tell you horror stories that would raise the hair on the back of your neck.
The problem starts with you, the problem ends with you.
I also wondered about where her other kids are at, and you didn't mention them.
The great thing about Club Polk is that the folks on here will give it to you straight; we don't have an axe to grind, we don't care if your feelings get hurt, we don't worry about, "Gosh, I don't want to make him mad at me !" ...
..... nope.
So if your feelings get hurt, recognize that as part of the problem.Sal Palooza -
The rest of her kids are in Kentucky with her parents. She's trying to get to sign over rights to my son but that ain't gonna happen. I dunno why she's trying to get me to do that.
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Yep. Drill a small **** hole in your left speaker, put on some Barry White, and handle your business. It'll be a lot safer for yourself and others.:D
Some of us prefer FEMALE vocalists for this.:D"The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods, or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." --Thomas Jefferson -
First of all I'm sorry you have to go through this. Remember that what doesn't kill you just makes you stronger. You've been given some good advice from what I have read in this thread. My favorite Spencer for Hire line is "life is hard, life is even harder when you're a drunk", get help for the booze problem, if it is a problem. You have to man-up and admit your weaknesses.
A certified DNA test should run about $600 to $800 (at least in the midwest). They have to have the mother's DNA also, so if she won't cooperate, then you may need a lawyer and a court order.
She want's you to sign over rights to the kid because full parental rights means welfare payments. Make sure the kid is yours, then step up.
Good luck, hang in there!DKG999
HT System: LSi9, LSiCx2, LSiFX, LSi7, SVS 20-39 PC+, B&K 507.s2 AVR, B&K Ref 125.2, Tripplite LCR-2400, Cambridge 650BD, Signal Cable PC/SC, BJC IC, Samsung 55" LED
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Awwww mannnnn, I thought this was gonna be tales of shameless debauchery and makin' up for lost time (yet done in a careful, tasteful and discrete manner).:(
I'm gonna go hug my SDA's.
Dating a stripper is like playing with fire. In the future, if you just can't be good, be careful. Proud and loyal citizen of the Digital Domain and Solid State Country! -
JoshParsons84 wrote: »She's trying to get to sign over rights to my son but that ain't gonna happen. I dunno why she's trying to get me to do that.
Posturing for negotiations. She's going to come after you for money. This could get a lot worse before it get's better. I hope this doesn't happen. Breakups with children are always ugly. She has the upper hand and she also has experience with custody laws. Good luck Josh, you're going to need it. I'm sorry to hear about all this.Carl -
HAHAHA.....that made my night..........loldanger boy wrote: »Josh, turning **** may just solve all your problems
LOLcomment comment comment comment. bitchy. -
....
Political Correctness'.........defined
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk -
Well I can't afford that test if it's much that. I'll go today after I get home from work. There's no way in hell I'm signing over the rights to my son to that ****. NO WAY!!! She'll just have to go get child support from me, which I'm sure she's probably already done or in the process of doing. She's vendictive for that. Friday when I go pick Braxton up I'm gonna tell her that she can do whatever she thinks she has to do but I'm not gonna sign the rights to my son away so she can have the dickhead raise MY kid. No way, I'll kill both of them before I let that happen. I'm just gonna concentrate on keeping as much money as I can, Braxton, piecing my life together, staying sober for a while and meeting new friends. Thanx for the perverbial "kick in the ****" guys!
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Sooo, you can't afford a $600 dollar test but you can afford child support? Mmmm hmmm... Cut out the drinking and the horndogging and you'll have that cash in no time.
If it were me, I'd consider that money VERY well spent even if there's less than a 1% chance that it's not mine.There is no genuine justice in any scheme of feeding and coddling the loafer whose only ponderable energies are devoted wholly to reproduction. Nine-tenths of the rights he bellows for are really privileges and he does nothing to deserve them. We not only acquired a vast population of morons, we have inculcated all morons, old or young, with the doctrine that the decent and industrious people of the country are bound to support them for all time.-Menkin -
Uh, not to keep harping on a subject....
As far as 'working on getting child support from you'....uh, dude, that's just part of the deal. See, you father the child and you then support the child. That's not her being vindictive, that's the cost of doing business.
You know, I've got mixed emotions about the whole DNA thing, it's an ethical can of worms that I see both sides of. Many may/will disagree but here is my bottom line. For 18 months, you've accepted this child as your own. Now that things aren't all rosy in Shangri-La, you are willing to essentially look for a loophole or a mulligan. If I were the one metting out justice, I'd say, you know what? Your opportunity to challenge paternity was about 18 months ago. That's just me though. If you weren't bright enough to see the red flags (all four of them) previously, too bad. My main issue is the child. Through no fault of his own, he stands to take the biggest dicking of them all. I don't know what the answer is on this one, but that's how I see it.
As far as here being a **** or what not, that may be a true statement. My last piece of advice is this, do NOT use that child as a way to piss each other off. That child hasn't done a damn thing wrong and what he needs is two parents whose main concern is raising him. Not two immature morons whose main interest is getting back at each other.
BDTI plan for the future. - F1Nut -
I disagree Troy on one part: If I dated a women and she had a three year old from a prior guy and I treated the kid like my own and we broke it off 18 months later, I wouldn't be paying child support.
I get where you're coming from, but ideally, if it isn't Josh's, he shouldn't pay, the real dad should...
Edit: Josh: Troy has a great point, if you want the kid and want rights to the kid, don't challenge it and pay for the child support. In fact, the lady sounds like such a class act you could probably get primary custody if you cleaned up your act a bit.There is no genuine justice in any scheme of feeding and coddling the loafer whose only ponderable energies are devoted wholly to reproduction. Nine-tenths of the rights he bellows for are really privileges and he does nothing to deserve them. We not only acquired a vast population of morons, we have inculcated all morons, old or young, with the doctrine that the decent and industrious people of the country are bound to support them for all time.-Menkin -
Josh, one last word of advice. You may want to watch what you say on a public forum if you are going to get into a custody battle. Revealing that you have a drinking problem, the fact that you are a nympho and making threats probably wouldn't translate into much success in the courtroom. Troy, as harsh as you think he is being, speaks the truth. He has given you some of the best advice and insight. Good luck.Shawn
AVR: Marantz SR-5011
Center Channel: Polk LsiM706c
Front: Polk LsiM703
Rear: LSI fx
Subwoofer: SVS 20-39pci
Television: Samsung UN58NU7100FXZA
DVD Player: Sony PS4 -
You may want to watch your choice of words also.
I would get a lawyer NOW and say very little more to her. If you flip out and say some of the stuff to her thats been said in here, she'll use it against you.No excuses! -
JoshParsons84 wrote: »There's no way in hell I'm signing over the rights to my son to that ****. NO WAY!!!
Why not? Don't be so quick to rule this out as an option. You have to look at what's best for the child.
I'm not trying to be cruel, but right now you'd be an 'effed up weekend dad with a drinking problem who would struggle to pay child support and who doesn't get along with the child's mother. These factors certainly don't bode well towards developing a stable family environment for your child. Your ex may be in a better position to raise your child than the two of you can do together. And eventually she'll hook some dude and get married, and he'll play dad to all of her children.
You need an objective party who can help you sort out your options. Right now you're responding very emotionally which is an immaturity indicator. Your ex is not the enemy and you should refrain from calling her the b-word.HT/2-channel Rig: Sony 50 LCD TV; Toshiba HD-A2 DVD player; Emotiva LMC-1 pre/pro; Rogue Audio M-120 monoblocks (modded); Placette RVC; Emotiva LPA-1 amp; Bada HD-22 tube CDP (modded); VMPS Tower II SE (fronts); DIY Clearwave Dynamic 4CC (center); Wharfedale Opus Tri-Surrounds (rear); and VMPS 215 sub
"God grooves with tubes." -
I disagree Troy on one part: If I dated a women and she had a three year old from a prior guy and I treated the kid like my own and we broke it off 18 months later, I wouldn't be paying child support.
I get where you're coming from, but ideally, if it isn't Josh's, he shouldn't pay, the real dad should...
Edit: Josh: Troy has a great point, if you want the kid and want rights to the kid, don't challenge it and pay for the child support. In fact, the lady sounds like such a class act you could probably get primary custody if you cleaned up your act a bit.
Like I said, that one is an ethical quandry and I see both sides of the coin. The reason that I come down on the side that I'm on is that paternity wasn't an issue UNTIL things went awry. Which says to me, my interest in the truth is contingent on things going my way.
BDTI plan for the future. - F1Nut -
Consider putting the child up for adoption or living with some parents.
The sperm donor and the women don't seem to be capable of raising the child.
Any solution or action should be in the childs best interest not the parents. -
JoshParsons84 wrote: »Well I can't afford that test if it's much that. I'll go today after I get home from work. There's no way in hell I'm signing over the rights to my son to that ****. NO WAY!!! She'll just have to go get child support from me, which I'm sure she's probably already done or in the process of doing. She's vendictive for that. Friday when I go pick Braxton up I'm gonna tell her that she can do whatever she thinks she has to do but I'm not gonna sign the rights to my son away so she can have the dickhead raise MY kid. No way, I'll kill both of them before I let that happen. I'm just gonna concentrate on keeping as much money as I can, Braxton, piecing my life together, staying sober for a while and meeting new friends. Thanx for the perverbial "kick in the ****" guys!
Son, WTF are you thinking???
First off you come crying 'bout your heart is broke. Please. You didn't meet her in church, and my bet is she was mackin your **** that night. She's a predator, bubba. Get over it.
My bet is the child is not yours, Josh. You REALLY should get a paternity test. I understand the feelings you have for the little guy. But you could be living a lie, and trust me, you will not like it if you find a different truth down the road.
The you start in about your drinking. Simple solution, knock it off. It's in your mind. I used to drink more than you, AND do more drugs in a weekend than alot of people could afford in a month. I wound up in places I wouldn't wish on my enemies, bro. I've buried more than a couple of my friends. It ain't no way to live.
You need to cut the idle threats, too. Grow a set of balls and man up. Do what you gotta do. Get your **** together and get on with it... -
I found out recently that my college roommate (and one of my closest friends) isn't the father of his child. He would give everything for the opportunity to pay child support. As an adopted child, myself.... I can only attest to the strength that a parental tie has (biological or not). Just some food for thought.I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore
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Keep in mind that even if the DNA test says you aren't the father, and you really love the kid and want to make a difference in his life, chances are she ain't got a clue who the real father is and you stepping up is going to in some cases win over a judges decision, if your arguing it out in court. I've seen it happen, but keep in mind it was in midwestern legal jurisdictions which can be much different than either the left or right coasts. In a friends case he became a legal guardian of the child, and when the mother went completely beserk and destructive, he became the sole guardian of the child. Also, all support he paid prior to becoming sole guardian was put into an escrow account that paid expenses directly on the child's behalf, not to the mother. It held up to an appeal, and worked out to be a very win-win solution for him and the child.
Keep your head up, your mind open, get objective non-biased advice, and keep from letting her drag you into the mud at the bottom of the wagon ruts.DKG999
HT System: LSi9, LSiCx2, LSiFX, LSi7, SVS 20-39 PC+, B&K 507.s2 AVR, B&K Ref 125.2, Tripplite LCR-2400, Cambridge 650BD, Signal Cable PC/SC, BJC IC, Samsung 55" LED
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this sounds like last weeks episode of that tv show Brothers and Sisters. the young girl had a DNA test done and now finds out her real dad is a loser guy her mom had a fling with.
just saying.. this sounds just like that. get the test and it will clear up a lot of confusion you're having right now. It will actually make some decisions much easier for you.
sorry. I didn't mean to say your situation is as simple as a 60 minute TV show.PolkFest 2012, who's going>?
Vancouver, Canada Sept 30th, 2012 - Madonna concert :cheesygrin: -
Wow. I gotta say something.
SEX ISN'T EVERYTHING!
Nor does sex a relationship make. If all you are looking is to run out and get your knob slopped, that is exactly what you are going to get and another kid will likely be the result. Nice girls do not jump in to bed the first chance they get. You also want to watch that whole "walking up to some girl on the street". If she is dressed in a way to attract attention, that's likely why she is dressed that way. She wants you to drool over her and if you actually do get her, she will proceed to systematically drain you until she sees it as a problem. Then the fights starts and you'll be back at square one again.
You haven't had sex in 2 months? Somebody call the WAAAAAAmbulance! Buddy I know guys who are dealing with divorces that are going on 2 YEARS and you complain about 2 months?
You need to be single and deal with your problems. So you get up, go to work and come home. Big deal? What do you think the rest of us do? Work sucks but you can't live without it. Suck it up and be thankful you have a job in this economy. Most people live for the weekends but that doesn't mean they do ALL their living in a single weekend. If you're bored after work, find your friends, hang out, go to a movie, go to a ball game, go do SOMETHING! Build a race car, learn a new language, take a night course in some art (you want to meet a "nice girl" that's a GREAT way). You're not in school anymore, you don't have homework and your mom is not going to flip out on you that it's a school night. You are not limited to just weekends to have a good time. Or just learn to happy with what you have and where you are at. Your life is what YOU make it and you can't compare yourself to anyone else. Besides, you shouldn't do that anyway, they are more 'effed up than you can possibly imagine!
Lasty, you need help. You should get some before you hurt yourself or someone else. If you think you can't afford it, keep drinking, get yourself into a bind where the STATE says that if you are to avoid jail you need help. Then they send you to a state hospital where you get clean. Then you'll find out how cheap doing the right thing is when you see the cost of the wrong thing. Oh and if you want custody of your child, you'll never get it if you don't clean up your act. Even if the mom is as messed up or messed up as you, the courts are reluctant to remove a child from it's mother unless the alternative environment is healthier and safer for the child. Drunks don't get to raise kids but a stripper that smokes like a chimney but sends the kid to school and puts food on the table and roof over their heads does.Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
Man!!! All of you have made very good points about everything in my life. Some of it I think is hatred but I know all of y'all are good friends to have. Listen no more belly-aching and crying around. I think I'm starting to get over the hurt and start to see what I NEED to do. I've been talking to my cousin (who's my guidance in advice) about everything y'all have been saying and he says I'm doing the right thing about forgetting her and that style of life. I need to focus on my livliehood and my child and do the right thing for the both of US. To hell with her she's not gonna amount to anything in this life, and I don't need somebody like her dragging me down for everything she can take from me. Again I apologize for upsetting everybody with my personal problems that I felt were dire and thanks for the harsh but just wake-up calls. I'm gonna concentrate on getting my son with me where he needs to be for a chance in life and also focus some on my grandparents who my grandmother has cancer and needs taken care of. Their house is mine in the will which was my childhood growing up so maybe I'll put money into it and fix it up for them NOW and for myself in the future as well.
