This may be the end for me

dudeinaroom

Well polkies, I have not been on as often as a used to. Over the past 4 years life has been full of ups and downs.

My life is now in a shambles again. In Septebmer my second oldest ran away because we told him unless he and his brother did not keep their room clean we were going to take al of their toys until they showed us they could keep it clean. We the police found him before we did, or before we called them. They said they has a 20 minute policy that if they did not hear from the parents that they get cps involved, but yet this is not in their policy manual. CPS came out to our house and wanted to view the house, my wife asked for a warrant. The officer and the CPS worker said they did not need one. My wife asked to see the law that lets them subvert the need for a warrant, they could not produce it. My wife asked for a supervisor, the officer said there was none available. Before the cps worker came out, while we were looking for our son, an officer came to the house and was peeking in the windows, and illegal search as he had no reason to believe anyone was in the home or that anyone was in danger in the home. My wife continued to ask for the law that subverted the need for a warrant, and the CPS worker told my wife that if she continued to ask for a warrant she would get a petition to take the kids. My wife then stated I just want to see the law that says you don't need a warrant, that is when the worker said that's it, I'm going to get a petition. On the petition the worker lied and said we would not allow her access to the kids even though they were all outside and not kept from her. 2 days later we were handed a supplementary petition asking for termination of parental rights, yet on this one it stated that the kids were in the yard, and not in the house as the original said.
CPS did not offer any services before the removal as is required.

Work had dropped off to nothing for me after the first week in October, and I am still unable to find any work. Our electricity was shut off about 3 weeks ago. We were using the oven to heat the house until a few days ago when Consumers came and shut the gas off. Temps have been in the single digits the last few nights but the wife and I have stayed bundled up and are keeping warm. I am a week late on rent and am waiting for the landlord to get an eviction notice. I have $20 left to my name and will not be able to put stuff in storage. I have nowhere local to go or to store our stuff, we will be losing everything. We can not apply for financial aid as it will be used against us in court. The judge let it slip that he already plans on terminating our rights even though we have barley even started the court trial. The states ombudsmen has told my wife that what CPS is doing is illegal. The CPS office here still has yet to release the records to the ombudsman or to my attorney. The ombudsmen also told my wife that they have trouble getting record from our county. We are be charged with 6 counts of 4th degree child abuse, 1 for the run away and 5 for a messy home. We are looking at up to 6 years in jail/prison because of this. The judge told my attorney that we expected us to take a plea bargain and if we didn't, if we were found guilty he would be giving us the max penalty.

So here I am in a spot I have never been in before because of a corrupt system who's funding depends on the removal of children, and the adopting out of children, there is no money for them in keeping families together.

There is another case going on in our county where a young girl was sexually abused by her mother and step father who have also been charged with meth production and counterfeiting. The father who reported the abuse is being charged with failure to protect. While the goal of CPS is reunification with the offending parents. I know that the allegations on the offending parents is true as I have seen the forensic interview of the little girl, it is horrific, despite this, this county is planning on keeping this girl in this house. I don't understand it, and I see it all the time. CPS will destroy loving families for the dumbest reasons, yet the families that are truly abusing their kids are left alone. I would like to think this is just a problem in our county, but I know it is a nation wide problem. My wife is a parent advocate and gets calls from families all over the country who are dealing with CPS. CPS picks on the poor and takes the cases that they can make look the best for them with the most minimal of work.

Right now, we have an extension cord ran from our neighbors house so we can have a light, computer an TV. But I don't know how much longer we will be here. If we get kicked out of here we will surely lose our kids, and my wife an I will be living in the suburban. I love my kids more than anything in the world and would do anything for them. It has even crossed my mind to rob a bank, but I know I would more than likely get caught. So as of right now I stand to lose my kids and everything else I have. I owe the power company around $1000, the landlord $400 for this month(due a week ago) my attorney $2500 due next month and have no idea how I am going to do any of it. I have been filling out applications anywhere and everywhere I can think of. When I'm working for Craig of NOS Valves I make good money, but work has dropped off for him for the second time this year. He's a good guy and I like subbing for him, I just wish he had the work coming in.

If I end up getting evicted I will post on here were polkies can go to pick up a pair of SDA 2As, a Parasound HCA 1000, a B&K pro 10 mc, an OPPO dvd/cd/sacd/dvd player, a Denon AVR, a pair of monitor 7s that need tweets, an xbox 360 a couple of Wiis and some other misc junk. It's been a fun ride polkies, but I feel this may be the end of the line for me and my family. In a few days our main phone will more than likely be shut off, but we will still have our gubment phone. I will sporadically be able to check my email if anyone wants to get in touch with me. It is dudeinaroom@hotmail.com. I'm going to miss my online family, but not anywhere as much as m real family. Thanks polkies for all you have done in the past, for the fun ride and the awesome karmas.

-dude

tonyb

Holy crap Batman....talk about when it rains it pours. Where are you located ?

It's very important that you maintain some income...a job. Not only for yourself but for the sake of the kids. Not to hammer on you pal, because it's the last thing you need....but....why haven't you sold that gear yet ? It's only stuff...stuff that can be replaced down the road.

20 bucks to your name ? How are you eating....feeding the kids ? Crap man....we can at least help you there for starters. How many kids and how old ? Whats your location and what do you do for a living ? Does the wife work ? Relatives or family that can help you out ?

dudeinaroom

I have one of my amps for sale here, some of the other equipment on craigslist. The kids are in two different foster homes. We are in Mid-Michigan. I had talked to a few attorneys before finding the one I have now, the others told me they would not take our case because this county plays by it's own rules. My attorney has dealt with this judge before and wants to see him off the bench. The criminal part of our case we are taking to trial. The judge allowed an adjournment of my wife's criminal charges, but is forcing mine to trial. I'm going to put stuff up on here. I guess I have been holding out for a job and hoping it would pan out. Not to mention most of my gear is either from karmas or gifts from polkies so I don't feel right about selling that stuff back to the group seeing as what I paid of it.

F1nut

Get the press/TV news folks involved. Most TV stations have an advocate.

We can not apply for financial aid as it will be used against us in court.

Nonsense, apply for welfare, food stamps and Section 8 housing now.

headrott

I am so very sorry to hear this dude. I will absolutely be praying for your family. I think all advice given so far is some good advice; particularly Jesse's. Absolutely apply for food stamps and section 8 housing now. There is nothing wrong in using welfare when you need at all.

Make sure you sell the items you have brought up to help pay rent, food, etc. until you are put onto welfare. THIS IS A MUST. DO IT DUDE!

tonyb

F1nut wrote: »

Get the press/TV news folks involved. Most TV stations have an advocate.

We can not apply for financial aid as it will be used against us in court.

Nonsense, apply for welfare, food stamps and Section 8 housing now.

Agreed....that's why it's there. For those that NEED it. I think you qualify.

George Grand

I hope you find the silver lining, and soon. Good luck.

dudeinaroom

We already receive food stamps. If I apply for financial assistance CPS and the court WILL construe it to look like I can not provide for my family. We have applications out to some non state organizations for help getting our electricity back on as well as rent assistance. All state assistance comes from DHS which is the parent organization of CPS. CPS will twist any angle they can to make you look bad. Just because my wife was asking about a warrant, they made it look like she has opposition to authority. The judge in our case also hates anyone who knows their rights or exercises them. Earlier this year I got a ticket for no insurance. I appealed the judge entering a plea on my behalf. After I filed my appeal I was followed by sheriffs deputies no less than twice a week. This ended after CPS came and took our kids. Most people in our county will tell you this county is corrupt. After we get our kids back, even if it means going to appeal we will be making plans to move out of state.

polrbehr

Start thinking about getting out of Michigan. Now. "Not able to provide for your family" seems like a temporary problem, why should it be construed as anything else?

ken brydson

Not to be Captain Obvious but can you draw unemployment?

tonyb

I believe I told you before....move to where the jobs are. There's plenty of families on welfare who still have their kids so that alone should not be the issue.

Forgive me for sounding horrible...but...you need to take the bull by the horns and do what needs to be done instead of worrying about government corruption. That's a different issue. Welfare is suppose to be a temporary thing, not something to live off forever.

In other words, focus on what you can do, what you NEED to do, what you MUST do, and not why all this bad stuff is happening. A lot of this stuff is simply a result of poor decisions which opens the door for government involvement....which I know you are against in the first place.

Gainful employment...numero uno, sell all unnecessary things, find a clean place to live in a city or state that actually has jobs available. If that means moving to Texas, then so be it....or North Dakota. This is about you being able to sustain yourself and your family....and obviously that isn't going to happen in Michigan. Make the hard choices, do what needs to be done, and get your kids back. Aside from what you or I think about government corruption, we all still have to play by the rules they make and live inside those rules....like it or not. I'm sorry this stuff is all happening to you, and also sorry I sound a bit harsh. I only wish you the best, and if I can help in anyway, shoot me a PM.

gudnoyez

Yep not sure of your situation I have a buddy that lived in Battle Creek Michigan lost his job couldn't find one left for Fargo North Dakota he found a decent job what paid more than his previous job and only spent a couple of days looking, the cost of living is decent and the wages are good, Fargo is a booming area, cold as heck in the winter time much colder than Michigan but decent a decent community and a great place to raise a family. Good luck on getting your family back together.

cnh

Excuse me for seeming to be a bit of a fly in the ointment. But why would a young kid (I'm assuming your kid is young) fly into a rage and run away merely because his parents forced him to clean his room? That's unheard of where I come from [it's never happened, that is]!

In any case, CPS had no business stepping in because of that, but I think there are other questions here. For example, what state does one need to be in in order to have twenty dollars left in his name? What about financial planning and budgeting and living within ones means? You say you're on assistance and you were working. So were you, like MANY MANY poor Americans, making that wonderful salary known as Minimum wage or less that so many JCs tout, celebrate and even deify! Because I certainly don't agree with those boys and girls. I believe in "real" jobs that one can actually live on!

I am horrified and dismayed by what's happening to you and do not think that you or anyone else deserves that but I also do NOT know your full story so it's hard to really comment in any objective manner here! Just wish you the best and hope this all works itself out!

cnh

jeremymarcinko

It is likely that you will get your children back, however, in most cases it doesn't happen right away and will depend on how well you and your wife follow the action plan. Disclaimer: I am not assuming any guilt or wrong doing by any party in this situation and can I can only offer some unqualified advice based on my experience working with CPS.
My wife and I were foster parents for a number of years and did in fact adopt our first two children out of the child protective system. In addition my Mother was a foster parent throughout most of my childhood and continued to be for decades after I moved out at 18. During that time she and my step dad adopted nine children out of the system. In our combined experience we have witnessed many situations like yours where the parents felt their children were wrongfully taken, and most of the time the parents had very good arguments. However, the cps worker will always air on the side of caution if they feel the basic needs of the child/children are not being met. You will always be at the mercy of cps and their ideas of what is considered safe, clean, healthy, appropriate, etc. Typically parents rights are not terminated right away. I have never seen that happen. The state usually gets temporary protective custody and will develop a action plan for the parents. The course of this action plan is typically no more than 3 months at first and does include visitations with the children, supervised or unsupervised depending on the reason for removal. The action plan is designed to aid the parents in correcting whatever elements needed for reunification, REUNIFICATION IS ALWAYS THE GOAL. I know it doesn't always feel that way and you feel powerless and always subjected to the opinion of cps, but I have seen time and time again children going back home, even if the original offenses were of the highest concern. The speediness of the process will depend on your cooperation with cps and meeting the requirements on the action plan. Believe me it costs the state way more money to keep a child in the system than to send them home. A quick reunification is in every ones best interest. I have personally seen action plans receive continuous 6 month extensions, for years, because the parents were not making progress. Cps will give you every opportunity to correct what you have to and also supply many tools and aid in the process. In the event of incarceration, other family members are always given first priority to provide a home for the children. Keep in mind just because the state has tpc or temporary protective custody doesn't mean you do not have any rights. For the state to terminate your rights completely they have to develop a case that contains consistent patterns of abuse or neglect or the failure to follow the action plan for a period of typically more than two years. In addition, cps has to present a case to the state that all methods, aid, education have been unsuccessful as well as all possible reunification with an approved family has been attempted.
Good Luck to you, I have heard time and time again, Michigan CPS, can be very aggressive, but please try to understand they have a job to do, and even though they feel like the enemy, your cooperation with them will be the ONLY way to receive a speedy resolution. Again I am not a professional, and I don't pretend to be, but I have seen from experience that lawyers are very rarely successful disproving the allegations provided by cps. For your own good and that of your family, provide everything cps asks, but they can't help you if you don't let them. I wish you the best.

AsSiMiLaTeD

I'm going to be completely honest and will probably come off as an **** so I'll apologize now for being blunt, but you need to hear responses like this as much as you need encouraging posts.

First, TonyB is spot on. I've not been in your exact position but I've been pretty damn close, and all you can do is man up and do what needs to be done. I'll say it a bit more rudely than Tony did, but you need to stop whining about the government and local courts and focus on what YOU can do to resolve this.

While I understand not feeling right about selling items that were given to you, your family comes first and how you 'feel' at this point is irrelevant. If I were in your spot I'd be selling all of it, I may feel bad about selling it but oh well my family comes first

I'm guessing with the gear you have you could easily buy yourself a few weeks. Don't stop there, sell every damn thing you can in order to get shelter and food for you and your family.

In terms of not taking financial assistance because the court will interpret that as your inability to provide for your family, as much as I hate to say it they're probably going to make that assumption already. If you're without electricity, heat, and soon to be a place to live then the conclusion that most people are going to draw is that you indeed cannot provide for your family. I'm guessing that the court or police walking into the home you were just evicted from and finding lots of stereo gear is gonna look way worse than a few financial aid applications.

The good news? It sounds like nobody is dead and you haven't actually robbed a bank yet, so nothing you're dealing with is irreversible. It'll be tough, but you can work your way out of this, and this can be a temporary setback instead of a series of events that leads to a downward spiral. This can be one of those things that ultimately makes you stronger, and one of those moments you look back on later in life as another adversity you conquered.

dudeinaroom

CPS has no plan in place for us, no goals set, no plans for reunification. They will not provide us any help. The court has also set no plan to be followed. I may not see eye to eye with everything the government does, but in this county CPS does what ever they want. They will barge into your house with out permission, take pictures with out permission, I have heard this from numerous families. If you do oppose them coming in, they will threaten you with getting a petition to remove your kids. When you bring these issues up in court the judge will justify it for them. The judge will even work as the prosecution in the cases. Yes there are rules that need to be followed, yet the county acts like rules don't apply to them. This is also one of the two judges in this county who have stated in open court the constitution does not apply in their court, and they make the rules.

Before work dropped of I was making $150 every day or 2. Not the best money, but not bad either. We do not live beyond our means. We have a cell phone that is $35 a month, no cable/satellite or internet. My internet is through an open hotspot in the community.

My wife and I have already decided once we get the kids back we will be moving, and more than likely out to Texas.

I really don't have much of any value, and that which I do have has either been sold or is up for sale. I could care less about possessions, all they are is distractions anyways.

I don't take any of your words as harsh, but as a reiteration of what I already know. I'm not trying to whine of cry or, just needed somewhere to vent. This is one of the only places I know where people usually won't judge you when you fall into a hard spot. I am not asking for help nor am I expecting it. I don't want a hand out. I hate even asking the government for help. I hate being on state assistance. That said, I do plan on applying for a few grants to get my butt in school. The short term goal is to get a certification so I can land a job that will pay a living wage. The long term goal is to become an Electronics Engineer, or and Electronics Engineering Technician. The wife is planing on going to law school, as she has had a friend who is an attorney tell her that he thinks she would be good at it, and so has her father who was an attorney.

In the meantime I am still looking for any job I can get for the time being as I need some form of income. Unemployment is a no go as I have been working as a subcontractor for the past 2.5 years, and have nothing in unemployment saved up. With the regular disasters in life I have not been able to save any money, and when I am able to save it something comes up where i have to spend it, usually car repairs.

boston1450

I hope things change for your family & you. Heartbreaking. May God guide you. Our prayers go out to you'all

gimpod

I'm really sorry about your situation especially with CPS. Every time I hear CPS story's like this this it just really piss's me off to no end. I really hate to say it but any time you've got CPS involved your screwed they seem to be able to make up there own rule's as they go, along with the police and courts backing them up for the most part. The thing is that 20 years ago CPS was a joke for the most part until some kids started dying and like most things in this county the pendulum has swung completely in the opposite direction to the point that kids have more rights than parents now days. You know the really sad parts is that the little hell spawn's know it, So anytime they get pissed at you all they have to do is get CPS involved and you're screwed.

What ever happened to common sense ? has it gone the way of the dodo bird or has it gone out of fashion like opening the door for a women or is that considered sexual harassment now days.


Sorry for the rant, But this kind of stuff just piss's me off !

GlennDog

Holy C R A P !

I just saw this. I wish I could say more than glwts . . . I hope & pray things work out.
FWIW, a friend tells me NC is booming (if you're from MI, TX may not be agreeable)

Best of luck, Prayers sent

G

TNTsTunes

Wow Dude, I feel for you, I've watched a friend have cps issues because he reported a neighbor of his for selling drugs. They reported his for a bunch of made up concerns, it took him 6 months to get it straightened out. Both his wife and him had good jobs and are great parents.

First you'll need to get your life in order, you have to have a stable home with heat and electric. I wish I could drive that far, I'd buy your system just to help you out. Get the stuff up on craigslist along with any other non-essentials ASAP.

My prayers go out to you, but without heat or electric or a place to stay you have an uphill battle on your hands.

Good luck with everything and take care.

dudeinaroom

What's wrong with TX? I have a half sister who moved from here to there and she loves it. NC would not be bad either I am ready to leave these frigid winters behind. In my younger years I could handle the cold. But now a days I can't handle a cool breeze in the summer when I get out of the shower. I've turned into a total wuss when it comes to cold.

pitdogg2

FREAKIN LOVELY first the democrats tell us "its alright its not your fault" and we should all just let them tell us how to raise our kids....BULL-HOCKEY...man some of the stuff I put my parents through. Dude I'm sorry to hear this BS and I'm just speechless right know. Time for a revolution here we really need to clean out all the do-gooders who have "our best interest at hand" cause where is that interest in that when you put the parents in prison so they can then take and put the kids into the hands of the state who has ruined more kids than STALIN...My nephew was taken away from his mother and we tried and tried to get him but the DCFS of Illinois lied at every turn tossed up more road blocks than on new years eve. The darn kid now has more troubles than ever before because the GD "Do-Gooders" who abused him repeatedly for 5yrs. But hey they were state sanctioned so that is OK....He tried to tell everybody but they always turned it around back to him and I'm sorry to say he is lost for life!!

ken brydson

dudeinaroom wrote: »

What's wrong with TX? I have a half sister who moved from here to there and she loves it. NC would not be bad either I am ready to leave these frigid winters behind. In my younger years I could handle the cold. But now a days I can't handle a cool breeze in the summer when I get out of the shower. I've turned into a total wuss when it comes to cold.

Dude, sorry to be blunt but who gives a flying EFF about the weather? You have 20 bucks to your name and have a family. Go WHEREVER you need to go for gainful employment. I wish you the best....

voltz

Dude sorry to hear about all the troubles normally I'd say Wichita would be a good start but due to all the aircraft layoff's this probably isn't a good spot anymore. too many looking for another job. wishing All the Best!

rpf65

I'll not comment on the situation itself, but hope that all works out for you and your family.

I will say there is nothing wrong with Texas. Just drove my cousin to Austin today to get her car repaired. She doesn't like driving in the city herself, so avoids it unless she goes there with me. Anyway, she commented on how many job postings she saw just on fast food restaurant signs. Wanted to know how anybody couldn't find a job around here.

Personally I've been here for about 25 years, and I really don't think I've been out of work for 6 months in total. I've worked for 3 different companies in that time, at 3 different occupations. I could be simply lucky, but I doubt that.

I can be a little nerve racking to pack up and move to some place where you know few if any people, but sometimes that is simply what you have to do. Go someplace where you can earn a living, and if a friend or family member is in a position to help out, then the choice is a no brainer.

BlueFox

dudeinaroom wrote: »

In Septebmer my second oldest ran away because we told him unless he and his brother did not keep their room clean we were going to take al of their toys until they showed us they could keep it clean. We the police found him before we did, or before we called them. They said they has a 20 minute policy that if they did not hear from the parents that they get cps involved, but yet this is not in their policy manual.

I hope things work out, but I have a couple of questions.

Why would the police find your child if he wasn't reported as missing? Did the police contact you before they called CPS? It doesn't make any sense to wait 20 minutes to be contacted if you didn't give someone a reason to contact you.

Good luck.

deronb1

BlueFox wrote: »

dudeinaroom wrote: »

In Septebmer my second oldest ran away because we told him unless he and his brother did not keep their room clean we were going to take al of their toys until they showed us they could keep it clean. We the police found him before we did, or before we called them. They said they has a 20 minute policy that if they did not hear from the parents that they get cps involved, but yet this is not in their policy manual.

I hope things work out, but I have a couple of questions.

Why would the police find your child if he wasn't reported as missing? Did the police contact you before they called CPS? It doesn't make any sense to wait 20 minutes to be contacted if you didn't give someone a reason to contact you.

Good luck.

Ya, kinda confusing. This is a terrible state of affairs for you, and it seems seems strange that the police and CPS would act in such a way if this was the first time at your residence.

I think you have been given some great advice here and if i may add a little more: Take ownership of the situation and show the entities involved that you and your wife are truely remorseful for why things are currently the way they are.

Reunification IS the goal, but they have to feel that you have a plan that best serves the children.

Try and say positive and keep your eye on the prize.

dudeinaroom

My son walked into a gas station that is with in a half mile of the house and they called the police. The officer knew who my son was from a fire we had a few years back, and they had my number on file from me being booked in for a no insurance ticket earlier in the year. The waited over an hour and a half to contact me. My son told the officer he was home alone, which he wasn't, my wife and I were in the back of the house replacing a window. Not long after he took off my oldest told me that the second oldest took off. My son them told another officer that my wife sent him to the gas station, and gave them the wrong name. He then told the CPS worker that my wife sent him to a store 10 miles in the other direction, he had no money on him, and no shoes. We have never sent him any further than the store two blocks away and not with out his older brother with him, even though we live in a rural community where nothing ever happens.

For those of you keep saying the goal is reunification, they why are they not offering services or help of any kind?

I have a friend who works in the legislature in Lansing, and according to her there are a couple of state agencies as well as at least one federal agency looking into the courts, CPS, and the sheriffs department, it is not just me being paranoid. We live in one of the smallest counties in the state, where people move to get away from the crap of the city, yet per capita this county has a higher removal rate than Detroit and Flint combined. That data came from my sister who is the one who programed and setup the DHS/CPS computer system, and even she says what they are doing is not right, and it also seems like their systems are not properly interfacing with the rest of the state. Ever since the state prison has left this county, the removal rate has increased. The money CPS gets does not have to be allocated to CPS, it goes into a general fund.

mrbigbluelight

You've been given great advice, dude.
I'd add that you keep in mind: What is, is.

As it stands, CPS has your kids. You don't.
That is what is.
Your kids are in foster homes, with heat, electric, and food.
That is what is.
CPS, whether they suck or not, won't return your kids until you can provide the same.
That is what is.

If you lose any time with thoughts of "Woulda-coulda-shoulda" on your part or CPS's part, then that is time wasted.
What IS, IS.

As has suggested, apply for every sort of assistance available that is available.
EVERY SOURCE. Period.
If your lawyer is suggesting that doing so may hurt your case, I'd be of the opinion that your lawyer isn't giving you the best advice, IMO.

As others have suggested, sell your gear, even at give-away prices. Period.
I would further suggest that you NOT mention to your lawyer any money you get from such sale. It would be my humble opinion that if your lawyer discovers that you have more money, suddenly your case will be "extended" at least until that money runs out.
If he questions, "Hey, where did you get the money to turn the electric/gas back on ?", you can "honestly" say "Some kind friends gave me some money to do so".
Which, being as other audiophiles who bought your gear can be considered friends, is true enough when it comes to dealing with lawyers.
You're on the front line, though, so only you can judge that situation.

As others have suggested, it does seem to be time to go where the jobs are.

In any event, keep plugging and chugging.
Your kids, while not with you, at least have gas, electric, and food. They'll make it through this period okay if YOU make it so. Calm and deliberate. An opportunity for you to display to them how one overcomes seemingly overwhelming situations,
Whatever hoops you have to jump through, do so, and smile afterwards and say, "My, what a nice hoop that was !".

Remember, what is, is. Concentrate on that, and you can devote your time and energy to making what is what you, and your family, want it to be,

dudeinaroom

I'm not even looking for help, just some understanding ears. People need to realize that when CPS removes kids from a home they get between $3-$10k per kid of federal money. So in our situation that would have been between $15-$50k. They get even more money if they can place the kids on psychotropic drugs, which they wanted to do for our oldest 4 ages 6,9,11. They feel the kids have issues because they are acting out, hello, you ripped them away from a loving family then split them apart. My second oldest also ran away from the foster home trying to make his way back to us.

I have no problem working with CPS to get my kids back, that is my highest priority. The problem is they don't want to work with us. They did no investigation before the removal, they have no case plan in place. The only thing they have done is had us take a parenting class. The teacher for the parenting class told us we should be teaching the class. Our oldest to have behavior issues and can be very obstinate. My wife and I have gone through a decent amount of parenting material and have adapted some from each of the sources to fit our needs. My second oldest has no fear. He is not scared of strangers, if you don't keep an eye on him, he will run off in a store. We have learned what we need to do for our babies. We are not the parent who take care of their kids by setting them in front of the TV or electronics. We spend as much time with them as we can, we use any opportunity to teach them something. We show them love and compassion, and do not brush them off because we are to "busy" with something. I feel if you are to busy for your kids, then you should no have had kids. They are a treasure and will one day be the model we molded them into which will make up the way the world is. I already see to many brainless people sucked into their TV's and phones and are oblivious to all the natural wonders and pleasures around them in the world. We have taught them how to think, and not what to think. They all have their own awesome personalities, and are some of the least gullible kids I know. If you try to pull a fast one on them they just give you this look like yeah right.

CPS does have a place, but they have been backed into a corner to where they have to take kids just to keep up funding. There are many social workers across the country who have gotten out of the system because they are repeatedly told to lie on reports. Many of them have also become child or parent activists. I think the investigation part of the cases needs to be handled by police, who have proper forensic training. If you loo through the Michigan CPS investigation manual, in a nut shell if you don't agree with what the workers is saying you are guilty. How is that a proper investigation? Not to mention, until a termination hearing rules of evidence don't apply. And when you do get to the hearing, nothing has to be proven beyond a reasonable doubt, it just has to be clear and convincing. Please before you say CPS has the best interest of the children in mind do a decent amount of research and see the types of conditions kids are being ripped out of. I know there are kids that do need the intervention, but there needs to be more checks and balances in place. I can understand some parents just being mad and yelling at the system, but hundreds of thousands of parents can't all just be miffed.

I know of a few mandated reporters in our area who have reported families that are in dire need of investigation and have reported these families, yet they never get investigated. I have reported people who do drugs around their kids and they are left alone. It's like they don't care about the kids who are potentially damaged, and seek to damage those who are in loving families. I don't know it that is true, it's just the way it seems. It's like those who are in bad home are already slated to be in the prison and mental health systems, so they have to go after the others to make them candidates of the systems. Like I said, I have no Idea if that is the case, but from all of the different records I have seen from comparing with other families it sure looks fishy.

Most people including those in positions to make change view you with a stigma when you are dealing with CPS. They instantly think that if CPS is involved you are a horrible parent. At least half of the calls made to CPS is by someone who has a problem with someone in the house hold and will use CPS to get even. CPS will turn anything they can into an issue. They will twist your words, officers words lawyers words, their own caseworkers words just to get the funding to keep their jobs going. In bigger counties this is to a lesser degree because they don't have time to be playing around. Here the case workers will flat out tell you they have nothing better to do. They will also tell you that the judge already has the case planned out as they regularly have lunch together and talk about cases.

jeremymarcinko

dudeinaroom wrote: »

For those of you keep saying the goal is reunification, they why are they not offering services or help of any kind?

Unfortunately it is because many people try to abuse the system and are looking for handouts. I know this isn't you, but in any case I have seen numerous situations where women will give birth to a child every three years just to keep there welfare. In my state a family can only receive welfare for the first three years of a child's life so they have another one, but if the child gets removed the welfare stops.
However, cps can offer stipends to help with rent and utilities, but you will have to get in touch with your support worker and perhaps job and family services for possible job opportunities. They will want to see that you are putting forth a honest effort in not only finding employment but maintaining it. Stipends are to help you and your family from being homeless or freezing because utilities have been shut off, but many families (again not you) become to rely on them and ask for more.
Now here is the thing, cps needs to see that you are consistently and adequately providing or meeting your own basic needs before they will start the reunification process. The idea is if one cannot provide their own basic needs, how can they possibly provide for or meet the needs of their children. Again, get in touch with your worker, be civil, be honest about your needs, find out exactly the criteria that needs to be met to start reunification. He or she will to tell you what help is available, and what criteria needs to be met to receive it. I understand how difficult this is...but be proactive and take a minute and write down all of the questions you have, before making the call. Don't be afraid to ask anything...it sucks I know, but try not to look at them as the villain, they are there to help, but it won't be easy.