Are Perfect Spouses Possible?
DarqueKnight
Posts: 6,765
Let's say you are "in the market" to get married and you have a list of criteria for the "perfect" mate. You meet and date 100 people who perfectly match the criteria. Is it possible for someone to perfectly match your mating criteria and yet turn out NOT be the perfect spouse? We are assuming that there is no deception involved and that marriage candidates will not deviate substantially from the mating criteria as time passes.
You can make more than one choice.
Your choices will be publicly visible.
You can make more than one choice.
Your choices will be publicly visible.
Proud and loyal citizen of the Digital Domain and Solid State Country!
Post edited by DarqueKnight on
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Perfect for a lifetime? Nope. People grow and evolve in a myriad of ways. I will be married for 34 years this August and it takes work compromise and understanding for both partners.
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Perfect for a lifetime? Nope.
Then why do people say "I have the perfect husband/wife"?Proud and loyal citizen of the Digital Domain and Solid State Country! -
I think that we can define perfection in essentially two ways: the way that the classical Greeks and Christians did (who I am big fans of by the way), and the way that some contemporary more scientifically informed philosophers and theologians do. The classical sense would be that perfection is the greatest possible entity, and if it is perfect then it shouldn't change, because to change would be to become less than perfect, and hence not be perfect in the first place. The contemporary way of process theologians is to say that perfection is dynamically adapting to respond to situations in the best possible way at that moment. So if God is perfect s/he must adapt, not be static as in the older version.
My spouse is perfect in the latter definition, because we are extremely compatible, committed, but also willing to adjust and change to meet the other's needs. So the initial question is flawed: it might be possible to find a perfect mate for you RIGHT NOW, but that person won't be perfect for you 10 years from now unless you both are dynamic and willing to change.Living Room 2.2: Usher BE-718 "tiny dancers"; Dual DIY Dayton audio RSS210HF-4 Subs with Dayton SPA-250 amps; Arcam SA30; Musical Fidelity A308; Sony UBP-x1000es
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Are Perfect Spouses Possible?
Only if one is a 0 and the other a 1.Political Correctness'.........defined
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk -
Does no spouse count as a perfect spouse?
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Appeasement obviously.
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Going on 33 years of marriage and 39 years of being together. Is my wonderful (and beautiful wife) perfect? Hmm, in her eyes yes. I am perfect? In my eyes absolutely. I think we can all agree that whether it is a spouse or a good friend, or a sibling, because we are all individuals and different we will probably never be able to say things are perfect. All I know is, even when my wife aggravates me, she is still the best wife in the world. She let's me dabble with my speakers and stereo equipment and NEVER gives me a hard time about it. I would have to offer a more realistic question or challenge as to WHY you have a perfect spouse, cause I will argue all day long that I have the perfect wife.
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Nope...for the simple fact nobody is perfect. They can however meet all your criteria.... and still not be perfect.HT SYSTEM-
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I surely think there is someone "perfect" for everyone. The problem is, the chances of meeting him or her is probably not that good. Maybe she's not even in the US, maybe she's over in the UK, or somewhere else.afterburnt wrote: »They didn't speak a word of English, they were from South Carolina.
Village Idiot of Club Polk -
Are Perfect Spouses Possible?Only if one is a 0 and the other a 1.
Until you add in jitter...
Tom~ In search of accurate reproduction of music. Real sound is my reference and while perfection may not be attainable? If I chase it, I might just catch excellence. ~ -
YES!!!!!!
As long as she's mute."Everything I ever did in my life worthwhile I caught hell for" -
Married 30 years here it's had its ups and downs but we're in it for the long haul, one thing I can tell you is the guy that tells you he has the perfect marriage is lying to you. No marriage has gone 100%Home Theater
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Is this supposed to be a joke? Because couching something like this in an "objective", "scientific", "operational" language is patently absurd. Humans are inherently "imperfect" to begin with so how could we achieve a perfect union with another when we never achieve one with our SELF?
No, you cannot assess such things, subjectivity reigns supreme here! There is also a great deal of delusion and denial involved in many relationships. And people rarely "choose", there are so many OTHER factors involved!
Reminds me of the kind of research they used to do, probably still do, in Social Psych. The conclusions were either irrelevant or obvious. But the Designs were oh so pure! Once you had a really tight well defined experiment you were guaranteed to have almost no ability to generalize from it if you got a statistical significance. lol
cnhCurrently orbiting Bowie's Blackstar.!
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They're like PC's! Spend a little time with them, and they're all the same;)"Everything I ever did in my life worthwhile I caught hell for"
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Is this supposed to be a joke? Because couching something like this in an "objective", "scientific", "operational" language is patently absurd. Humans are inherently "imperfect" to begin with so how could we achieve a perfect union with another when we never achieve one with our SELF?
No, you cannot assess such things, subjectivity reigns supreme here! There is also a great deal of delusion and denial involved in many relationships. And people rarely "choose", there are so many OTHER factors involved!
Reminds me of the kind of research they used to do, probably still do, in Social Psych. The conclusions were either irrelevant or obvious. But the Designs were oh so pure! Once you had a really tight well defined experiment you were guaranteed to have almost no ability to generalize from it if you got a statistical significance. lol
cnh
He's an engineer, your an anthropologist, and I'm a philosopher. Obviously we approach this question with very different intuitions and methodologies...but I think that clearly this is a existential question couched in empirical language, which is always a bit awkward isn't it?Living Room 2.2: Usher BE-718 "tiny dancers"; Dual DIY Dayton audio RSS210HF-4 Subs with Dayton SPA-250 amps; Arcam SA30; Musical Fidelity A308; Sony UBP-x1000es
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Bedroom 2.1 Harmon Kardon HK3490; Bluesounds Node N130; Polk RT25i; ACI Titan Subwoofer -
All joking aside, we all have our quirks so finding someone to tolerate those quirks and look past them for the good parts of the relationship. You may not have all the same interests so you must be able to balance and support each others interest by at least listening to each other stories. It's not all about you and it's not all about her, if you can't balance it out then your screwed, miserable, or both.
Nothings perfect2-channel: Modwright KWI-200 Integrated, Dynaudio C1-II Signatures
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erat interfectorem cesar et **** dictatorem dicere a -
There's an absolute of modal logic the goes something like this:
"If p exists, then p is possible."
So, if I can present a single instance of "p" -- that is, in this case, the "perfect spouse," then "p" -- that is again ,in this case, the "perfect spouse" -- is possible.
I submit that my spouse is a perfect spouse.
QED; a perfect spouse is possible.
I think this is called "existence proof."
There's another important principle at play here. I believe Descartes articulated it:
"De gustibus non disputandum est." [In matters of taste there is no disputing.]
Hence, don't try to convince me that my wife is not perfect.Family Room, Innuos Statement streamer (Roon Core) with Morrow Audio USB cable to McIntosh MC 2700 pre with DC2 Digital Audio Module; AQ Sky XLRs to CAT 600.2 dualmono amp, Morrow Elite Speaker Cables to NOLA Baby Grand Reference Gold 3 speakers. Power source for all components: Silver Circle Audio Pure Power One with dedicated 20 amp circuit to main panel.
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well - mine puts up with me, and let me retire at 55; I cannot complain.
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Humans are inherently "imperfect" to begin with so how could we achieve a perfect union with another when we never achieve one with our SELF?
Then nothing resulting from human endeavor can be absolutely perfect?
The most we can hope to achieve is "practical" perfection?Proud and loyal citizen of the Digital Domain and Solid State Country! -
Mine retired with me at 51! :~)
That's how I ended up in New Hampshire!Family Room, Innuos Statement streamer (Roon Core) with Morrow Audio USB cable to McIntosh MC 2700 pre with DC2 Digital Audio Module; AQ Sky XLRs to CAT 600.2 dualmono amp, Morrow Elite Speaker Cables to NOLA Baby Grand Reference Gold 3 speakers. Power source for all components: Silver Circle Audio Pure Power One with dedicated 20 amp circuit to main panel.
Exercise Room, Innuos Streamer via Cat 6 cable connection to PS Audio PerfectWave MkII DAC w/Bridge II, AQ King Cobra RCAs to Perreaux PMF3150 amp (fully restored and upgraded by Jeffrey Jackson, Precision Audio Labs), Supra Rondo 4x2.5 Speaker Cables to SDA 1Cs (Vr3 Mods Xovers and other mods.), Dreadnaught with Supra Rondo 4x2.5 interconnect cables by Vr3 Mods. Power for each component from dedicated 20 amp circuit to main panel, except Innuos Statement powered from Silver Circle Audio Pure Power One. -
DarqueKnight wrote: »Then nothing resulting from human endeavor can be absolutely perfect?
The most we can hope to achieve is "practical" perfection?
As i recall, Mary Poppins was "practically perfect in every way!"Family Room, Innuos Statement streamer (Roon Core) with Morrow Audio USB cable to McIntosh MC 2700 pre with DC2 Digital Audio Module; AQ Sky XLRs to CAT 600.2 dualmono amp, Morrow Elite Speaker Cables to NOLA Baby Grand Reference Gold 3 speakers. Power source for all components: Silver Circle Audio Pure Power One with dedicated 20 amp circuit to main panel.
Exercise Room, Innuos Streamer via Cat 6 cable connection to PS Audio PerfectWave MkII DAC w/Bridge II, AQ King Cobra RCAs to Perreaux PMF3150 amp (fully restored and upgraded by Jeffrey Jackson, Precision Audio Labs), Supra Rondo 4x2.5 Speaker Cables to SDA 1Cs (Vr3 Mods Xovers and other mods.), Dreadnaught with Supra Rondo 4x2.5 interconnect cables by Vr3 Mods. Power for each component from dedicated 20 amp circuit to main panel, except Innuos Statement powered from Silver Circle Audio Pure Power One. -
Lilu, the Fifth Element, is perfect.Lumin X1 file player, Westminster Labs interconnect cable
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Poll: Are Perfect Spouses Possible?
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You have your requirements, however did you forget to factor in her requirements? My guess is that your perfect mate is someone who is way outside of the box you have defined. You're looking for compatibility, commitment, and mutual respect and admiration. Somewhere in there love occurs. And being too much alike, isn't always good.
And yes, this spring I spent about 8 hours in the tractor cab working up farm ground and listening to Dr. Laura on the all-night AM talk radio ............ so I am now qualified to provide relationship advice!DKG999
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Nope...for the simple fact nobody is perfect. They can however meet all your criteria.... and still not be perfect.
IF you have chosen WISELY and built the early years on a proper foundation of RESECT, HONESTY, and plenty of LOVE(not lust, but a genuine caring and compassionate love) then the answer to the question is an emphatic YES! You must also take the time to nurture and grow in understanding of one another on a daily basis.
After 14 years together my wife and I are so deeply in love with each other that her sisters are both envious of us.The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
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“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
I voted "No"; what may seem "perfect" today may not seem "perfect" tomorrow.
And is "Perfect" a goal to shoot for ?
The following is a picture of a Japanese tea bowl:
Now that tea bowl looks like something I made in 9th grade art class: misshapen, uneven rim, cracked, ..... yep, belongs in the bargain bin at Pottery Barn.
But it's one of two pieces by Hon'ami Kōetsu that are classified as Japanese national treasures and aren't allowed out of the country.
Now how the heck can that be ? Because the beauty to be found isn't necessarily in the surface appearance but in the history of the piece, in what led up to its creation, in the factors that led up to its being what it is.
In the West, we would "repair" a piece by covering up a "flaw". The Japanese mix 23 karat gold with lacquer to highlight the "imperfection".
Different mindset.
It is my STRONG opinion that you, DK, are not influenced by "appearances" and that looks aren't at the top of your criteria list. Sometimes there is beauty in imperfections. Making the right choice, a "good" choice, is tough, is tricky, and the best you can do is, IMO, make the best judgement for the long term.
John mentioned 3 very important factors: respect, honesty, and love (not lust). That's a pretty good list by which one can initially filter out choices.
Good luck; if you figure out a "system", please share it with the rest of us. :loneranger:Sal Palooza -
mrbigbluelight wrote: »John mentioned 3 very important factors: respect, honesty, and love (not lust). That's a pretty good list by which one can initially filter out choices.
Good luck; if you figure out a "system", please share it with the rest of us. :loneranger:
Perfect is a goal we both strive for, in that we give of ourselves each day in ways to simply make a smile appear. I do in by making her coffee, or going out of my way to find something she thought was lost forever. She does other things that only she knows how, but very day we do something to nurture our relationship.
I have an expression that came to my heart the day w met... something I believe was imprinted upon me by God the second I laid yes upon her.
"For God hath bestowed upon the heart of man no greater gift than the love of a woman. Treasure her more than riches for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand"
I was told to treat her with the greatest of respect and she would honor me in kind. I was guided to build her up and in turn she did the same.... If you want to have the perfect spouse, you must have faith in her that she will be, and you must thank God for such a wonderful gift. I did not fully understand the "Heaven" part of my quote until we were much deeper into our relationship... but I know now that Nooshin is my heaven, she is exactly the one soul in this universe that completes me. I know that she and I are strong enough to stand alone, but with each other we can fly.The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
Philosophical definitions of beauty and perfection aside, this is a home audio forum after all, so my golden ray of spousal perfection was clear to me about two years after I got married:
Background: With getting married, settling in together, getting our careers going, and then buying a house finally behind us, my home theater and stereo rig understandably (for some) had taken a backseat to numerous financial and time-wise priorities for a few years. I tried to rebuild the system but the AVR logic board had failed and my dual-cone sub-woofer had lost a channel in all the moves and turmoil.
Spouse: I'm tired of listening to you complain about the stereo, we've got some money now, just fix it!
Not one to ever shirk my duty when ordered by my spouse to take care of a problem I did my research, bought a new "Dolby pro-logic" AVR (this was the mid 90's after all) and replaced the driver in the sub-woofer (thankfully Speakerlab was still in business and selling replacement parts). I spent a long day re-configuring everything, jacked it all together with s-video interconnects to my 27" tube Mitsu television and dropped in my favorite test movie "Batman" in super-duper-stereo VHS. I brought my spouse in the room and proceeded to audition the new system to her.
Spouse: Huh. So I guess we need a bigger television now!
Now that was a perfect spouse moment!Receiver: ONKYO TX-NR929 7.1 AVR 130wpc
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I remember one great answer to this question in a movie I saw once.
The perfect Japanese schoolgirl sex robot and handiperson creation. First off, it looked absolutely incredible. And even better it had an "off" switch. Turn it on when it's time too clean the house, do the shopping, rotate the tires, build and install the latest crossover mods.
Just upload whatever capabilities app you want.
And it will never complain if you decide to sleep in on a Sunday morning and it will never complain when you come home with another McIntosh monoblock.
Get several. As soon as you've had one you want another.
