Best Of

Okay, since the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" joke didn't land too well (yeah, a little lame), I'll try an Aggie (Texas A&M) joke...

Two aggies show up to a farmer's house carrying buckets and knock on the door, the farmer answers,

Farmer: "What do you stupid aggies want and what's with the buckets??"

Aggies: "Well sir, we noticed you have milkweed on your property, and we'd like to get some milk."

Farmer: "Stupid aggies, everyone knows you can't get milk from milkweed!"

Aggies: "Oh no sir, we're from A&M, agriculture and military, we know how to do stuff like that."

Farmer: "Fine, go waste your time"

Sure enough, the aggies come back with milk and the farmer is puzzled. Next day, the aggies come back with buckets again and knock on the door.

Farmer: "What do you stupid aggies want today?"

Aggies: "Well sir, we noticed you have honeysuckle on your property, and we'd like to get some honey."

Farmer: "Stupid aggies, everyone knows you can't get honey from honeysuckle."

Aggies: "Oh no sir, we're from A&M, agriculture and military, we know how to do stuff like that."

Farmer again tells them to go waste their time. And sure enough, they come back with honey and the famer stares in amazement.

Aggies come back again but this time, no buckets, and knock on the farmers door. The farmer answers and asks,

Famer: "What do you aggies want today and where's your buckets?"

Aggies: "Well sir, we noticed you have pussywillow on your property."

Farmer: "Hang on boys, I'll be right with you, let me go get my hat."

An old man is selling watermelons by the side of the road.

His sign reads:

1 for $3
3 for $10

A young man stops and buys one watermelon.

“That’ll be $3,” says the old man.

The young man then buys a second watermelon. And then a third.

After paying another $3 each time, the young man picks up his watermelons and starts to walk away.

Then he turns back, grinning proudly.

“Hey old man,” he says, “you realize I just bought three watermelons for $9 instead of $10? Maybe business isn’t your thing.”

The old man smiles and shakes his head.

“Funny… every time somebody comes by, they buy three watermelons instead of one… and then try to teach me business.

mhardy6647 wrote: »

^^^ Will they ship?

Drop shipping only....

billbillw wrote: »

Only two and a half years late for the sale?

Good catch!!!!!!!

Wrong month too.

Dang! I thought I found today's responses to my query this morning.

I guess there must've been another one sent out for today's event.

billbillw wrote: »

Only two and a half years late for the sale?

Probably the same guy that just posted James Earl Jones passed away. I was like, again?

pitdogg2 wrote: »

msg wrote: »

You don't know where that thing's been, anyway.

Yea it could have been the Jolly Green Giants, umm, well, you know....

Yeah, but...
oral, right?
right??

An old cowboy owned a small ranch in New Mexico. The New Mexico Wage & Hour Dept. claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

“I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,” demanded the agent.

“Well,” replied the rancher, “There’s my ranch hand who’s been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board.
The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 per week plus free room and board.
Then there’s the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night.”

“That’s the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit,” says the agent.

“That would be me,” replied the rancher.

Only two and a half years late for the sale?