There goes the audio upgrades for a while...
Comments
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Grats man, my wedding is in september. Don't think the upgrades are gone for a while, just add them to the registry like I did.
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grimmace19 wrote: »Grats man, my wedding is in september. Don't think the upgrades are gone for a while, just add them to the registry like I did.
LOL...maybe u should read the thread. -
So, I guess some of you guys we're spot on. Luckily, we decided now, that we just aren't going to make it as a married couple... or even a couple at all. Thankfully that decision came BEFORE marriage and kids. UNfortunately, it came after the $2k ring.
It was mutual... no hard feelings... and we will remain friends.
Sorry to hear, but you have a healthy perspective. I went through the same thing (engaged) and then we ended up splitting up shortly there after. In hindsight, it was great that it happened. Being married and having kids and then having all the crap come to light after the fact would have been a disaster.
I wasn't able to do the "friends" thing....to me it is just dragging out the healing process. Being in love with someone and then having friendship boundaries put back up is just plain f'd up (to me). Clean break and you ensure you keep your balls.
Good luck to you! My only suggestion is that you don't get down on yourself about it. Even when its mutual there are bound to be hurt feelings somewhere. -
bdaley6509 wrote: »LOL...maybe u should read the thread.
Wow, sorry for my errant post, read the first page and didn't notice it was a topped thread from Feb. -
Sorry to hear that man.
Good luck with your endeavor, Noah.polkaudio RT35 Bookshelves
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Front projection, 2 channel, car audio... life is good! -
Sorry to hear what happened, however I agree it is good to make those decisions now rather than when kids and attorney's are involved.
On the ring comments, some states such as IA have actual laws or court interpretations that say that an engagement ring is not considered a gift and is the property of the purchaser until the marriage is official. At my previous job we had someone who had to invoke this to get back an engagement ring that had a heirloom stone in it. It ended up with an arrest warrant issued for the former bride.DKG999
HT System: LSi9, LSiCx2, LSiFX, LSi7, SVS 20-39 PC+, B&K 507.s2 AVR, B&K Ref 125.2, Tripplite LCR-2400, Cambridge 650BD, Signal Cable PC/SC, BJC IC, Samsung 55" LED
Music System: Magnepan 1.6QR, SVS SB12+, ARC pre, Parasound HCA1500 vertically bi-amped, Jolida CDP, Pro-Ject RM5.1SE TT, Pro-Ject TubeBox SE phono pre, SBT, PS Audio DLIII DAC -
sorry Noah.. but i'm still available :eek:
JK!
seriously man... it's a bummer. but sounds like the feelings were mutual and as was already said.. you'll still be friendsPolkFest 2012, who's going>?
Vancouver, Canada Sept 30th, 2012 - Madonna concert :cheesygrin: -
danger boy wrote: »sorry Noah.. but i'm still available :eek:
JK!
seriously man... it's a bummer. but sounds like the feelings were mutual and as was already said.. you'll still be friends
Right plus now you can go ahead with the upgrades!
on a serious note, keep your head up, it'll work out, you'll find someone and as you mentioned, at least you decided this now and not 2 weeks after -
Sorry to hear, but you have a healthy perspective. I went through the same thing (engaged) and then we ended up splitting up shortly there after. In hindsight, it was great that it happened. Being married and having kids and then having all the crap come to light after the fact would have been a disaster.
I wasn't able to do the "friends" thing....to me it is just dragging out the healing process. Being in love with someone and then having friendship boundaries put back up is just plain f'd up (to me). Clean break and you ensure you keep your balls.
Good luck to you! My only suggestion is that you don't get down on yourself about it. Even when its mutual there are bound to be hurt feelings somewhere.
Yep you hit Dave, it just keeps the pain going on and on and on!!!! Clean break, rid any memorabilia, and absolutely no contact at all will rid you of any pain and remorse you might be feeling all the faster. -
On the subject of the ring - We discussed it in length last night. I made my point that it was a very expensive "gift", but that I also didn't consider it conditional. I was just hoping to recoup some of my costs by selling. However, she wanted to keep it as a reminder, so I decided to let her keep it. I'll only be paying for it for the next year.
I think I'll make a pact that I won't get into another serious relationship until my last one is paid off
This split is still only officially a day in the making, so I'm not sure how our friendship is going to make out. I think its easier that we're both accepting that we had problems with the other, so neither of us has had our heart suddenly broken by surprise. Who knows, maybe it'll end up that we won't be able to talk to each other, but I hope that's not the case. We share a lot of similar interests, which is what attracted us to each other in the first place. We just learned that we wouldn't be able to live with each other.Ludicrous gibs! -
danger boy wrote: »sorry Noah.. but i'm still available :eek:
JK!
seriously man... it's a bummer. but sounds like the feelings were mutual and as was already said.. you'll still be friends
Whao, I had no clue that you were such a hussy Al!!!
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hearingimpared wrote: »Yep you hit Dave, it just keeps the pain going on and on and on!!!! Clean break, rid any memorabilia, and absolutley no contact at all will rid you of any pain and remorse you might be feeling all the faster.
The other problem is that I get along really well with her parents and other family, and we've actually been hanging out even when she wasn't around (at work, etc)... so chances are we'll still want to meet up at the Brewery, etc.Ludicrous gibs! -
I think you'll find out pretty quickly that there are her place and friends, and your places and friends, and if those aren't separated then you really haven't broken up yet. I hope I am wrong, but too often this rule applies. See page 43 paragraph 12 of the Guy's Handbook.DKG999
HT System: LSi9, LSiCx2, LSiFX, LSi7, SVS 20-39 PC+, B&K 507.s2 AVR, B&K Ref 125.2, Tripplite LCR-2400, Cambridge 650BD, Signal Cable PC/SC, BJC IC, Samsung 55" LED
Music System: Magnepan 1.6QR, SVS SB12+, ARC pre, Parasound HCA1500 vertically bi-amped, Jolida CDP, Pro-Ject RM5.1SE TT, Pro-Ject TubeBox SE phono pre, SBT, PS Audio DLIII DAC -
I think you'll find out pretty quickly that there are her place and friends, and your places and friends, and if those aren't separated then you really haven't broken up yet. I hope I am wrong, but too often this rule applies. See page 43 paragraph 12 of the Guy's Handbook.
Well, she's moving out, and our friends didn't mingle... mostly because we didn't have any
The only sticking point will be the cat we adopted together, which will be hers, but she can't take it home yet because they have too many cats already. Her cat at home is on its deathbed, so once it passes on, she'll take the kitten we adopted.Ludicrous gibs! -
Sorry... but she wants to keep the ring as a "reminder"? Don't take this the wrong way, but I wonder how any of her future boyfriend's would be cool with that. Something's off.
Snag the ring. No sense paying on something for longer than you were actually in the relationship.I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore -
zombie boy 2000 wrote: »Sorry... but she wants to keep the ring as a "reminder"? Don't take this the wrong way, but I wonder how any of her future boyfriend's would be cool with that. Something's off.
Snag the ring. No sense paying on something for longer than you were actually in the relationship.
+1. Sounds like you are trying to be a good guy and all, but the ring was a precursor to the marriage. If you are not getting married then she has no need for a ring to remember it by.
If she expects you to pay/keep paying for a ring for her to keep even though you are not getting married, personally, I think that's pretty crappy of her. Consider this all a blessing in disguise. -
zombie boy 2000 wrote: »Sorry... but she wants to keep the ring as a "reminder"? Don't take this the wrong way, but I wonder how any of her future boyfriend's would be cool with that. Something's off.
Snag the ring. No sense paying on something for longer than you were actually in the relationship.
+2..... it's a weird she wants to keep it -
... If she expects you to pay/keep paying for a ring for her to keep even though you are not getting married, personally, I think that's pretty crappy of her. Consider this all a blessing in disguise.
+3. If she wants the ring so badly, why doesn't she take over the remaining payments herself?+2..... it's a weird she wants to keep it
BTW, next time I would recommend an arranged marriage: your parents will find a suitable lady friend for you, from a good family, and the terms are agreed between your parents and her parents. There will be no sexual intercourse until after the wedding. Alea jacta est! -
zombie boy 2000 wrote: »Sorry... but she wants to keep the ring as a "reminder"? Don't take this the wrong way, but I wonder how any of her future boyfriend's would be cool with that. Something's off.
Snag the ring. No sense paying on something for longer than you were actually in the relationship.
The ring belongs to you bro. Take it and if she does not understand that it is not right to keep it if you did not get married, then she is not much of a friend either IMHO. Back in the time I come from, the ring was ALWAYS returned.
I wish you the best man, but I just gotta ask when the next upgrade will take place.;):DThe Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
zombie boy 2000 wrote: »Sorry... but she wants to keep the ring as a "reminder"? Don't take this the wrong way, but I wonder how any of her future boyfriend's would be cool with that. Something's off.
Snag the ring. No sense paying on something for longer than you were actually in the relationship.
Couldn't agree more.
Nadams - you shouldn't even have to ask for it. She should have just given it back to you without question. -
nooshinjohn wrote: »I wish you the best man, but I just gotta ask when the next upgrade will take place.;):D
To the audio/HT gear or to the girlfriend?
Sorry, couldn't resist DKG999
HT System: LSi9, LSiCx2, LSiFX, LSi7, SVS 20-39 PC+, B&K 507.s2 AVR, B&K Ref 125.2, Tripplite LCR-2400, Cambridge 650BD, Signal Cable PC/SC, BJC IC, Samsung 55" LED
Music System: Magnepan 1.6QR, SVS SB12+, ARC pre, Parasound HCA1500 vertically bi-amped, Jolida CDP, Pro-Ject RM5.1SE TT, Pro-Ject TubeBox SE phono pre, SBT, PS Audio DLIII DAC -
To the audio/HT gear or to the girlfriend?
Sorry, couldn't resist
Could be one or the other, but I would go for the audio first as nothing drowns out a sorrow better than a brew and good tunes. The latter option works well only if she can keep quiet while the music spins and fetch the next cold one.;):pThe Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD
“When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson -
nooshinjohn wrote: »The latter option works well only if she can keep quiet while the music spins and fetch the next cold one.;):p
Wow.
Spoken like a true ladies man. :eek:-Kevin
HT: Philips 52PFL7432D 52" LCD 1080p / Onkyo TX-SR 606 / Oppo BDP-83 SE / Comcast cable. (all HDMI)B&W 801 - Front, Polk CS350 LS - Center, Polk LS90 - Rear
2 Channel:
Oppo BDP-83 SE
Squeezebox Touch
Muscial Fidelity M1 DAC
VTL 2.5
McIntosh 2205 (refurbed)
B&W 801's
Transparent IC's -
But those rebound relationships can be so much fun!DKG999
HT System: LSi9, LSiCx2, LSiFX, LSi7, SVS 20-39 PC+, B&K 507.s2 AVR, B&K Ref 125.2, Tripplite LCR-2400, Cambridge 650BD, Signal Cable PC/SC, BJC IC, Samsung 55" LED
Music System: Magnepan 1.6QR, SVS SB12+, ARC pre, Parasound HCA1500 vertically bi-amped, Jolida CDP, Pro-Ject RM5.1SE TT, Pro-Ject TubeBox SE phono pre, SBT, PS Audio DLIII DAC -
I guess you guys are right... I really should ask to keep the ring. It's still here in the house - she didn't take it with her earlier this week. I just can't see being only 3 payments into the damn thing and not being able to get any money back. Getting that ring put me into an even tighter financial situation, but I thought it was the right thing to do for her. Not that I regret it at all... I'd just like to be able to alleviate the burden again.Ludicrous gibs!
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nooshinjohn wrote: »Could be one or the other, but I would go for the audio first as nothing drowns out a sorrow better than a brew and good tunes. The latter option works well only if she can keep quiet while the music spins and fetch the next cold one.;):p
I got off work early today, and have Days of the New CRANKED on the SDA's. Sounding good. I don't have any brews yet, but I'll be going to pick some up later.Ludicrous gibs! -
+1 on keeping the ring.. especially if you financed it.. if she really wants it she should take over the payments no sense in putting yourself into a bigger financial hole over jewelry that will end up not meaning anything.. and if you are only one payment into it I might go back to the jeweler and try and work something out as well.
They won't take a return of course, buy maybe they'll buy it back at normal than higher buy back price to alleviate some of the burden.. but she should understand,, if you're not getting married then you should be able to sell it yourself to get yourself out of the debt as soon as you can.Main 2ch -
BlueSound Node->Ethereal optical cable->Peachtree Audio Nova 150->GoldenEar Triton 2+
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TV 3.1 system -
Denon 3500 -> Dynaudio Excite 32/22 -
Keep the ring man.-Kevin
HT: Philips 52PFL7432D 52" LCD 1080p / Onkyo TX-SR 606 / Oppo BDP-83 SE / Comcast cable. (all HDMI)B&W 801 - Front, Polk CS350 LS - Center, Polk LS90 - Rear
2 Channel:
Oppo BDP-83 SE
Squeezebox Touch
Muscial Fidelity M1 DAC
VTL 2.5
McIntosh 2205 (refurbed)
B&W 801's
Transparent IC's -
I guess you guys are right... I really should ask to keep the ring. It's still here in the house - she didn't take it with her earlier this week. I just can't see being only 3 payments into the damn thing and not being able to get any money back. Getting that ring put me into an even tighter financial situation, but I thought it was the right thing to do for her. Not that I regret it at all... I'd just like to be able to alleviate the burden again.
Do it. Just keep your expectations low as to what you will get for it. Would not surpirse me if you get less than 50 cents on the dollar. Maybe see if you can work some sort of consignment deal out with the jeweler you bought it from. -
Get the ring Bro.
Bad karma to use it on the next one.
Her having it is a constant symbol of what happened.
If your "friends" she would understand that it put you back.
I sold hers and got some gear.
