WTF.......issues with the wife

doggie750

I think I should become a Klipsch member instead coz no one is on my side:D

Seriously, i felt i am gonna get banned for initiating this thread.

AHAAAAAA...the gurus have spoken....

Granted all your advices are appreciated well however in my defense, I am also in line with you all that marriage is a bond between 2 souls and inseparable no matter what, through thick or thin......'till death do us part.

Perhaps I should be more detail on my scenario, the re-union is really informal, just a gathering of old friends in one of the their house. Initially I have asked the wife to go with me and drop the kids to my parents for a few hours but little that I know it's down south and it's 8hrs away from my spot. Since searching for a babysitter is out of the question, I explained her that it's best that I go alone since it's not logical to take the kids (too young, 4yr old, 2.5yr old and 1yr old babies) to this event. Of course, I didn't tell her that it would be more fun w/o her but I was just being honest to my polkbreeds in here. Reality check, my wife couldn't really relate and interact with the peeps in there, as said earlier this is not formal event with ballroom hall....etc. There's gonna be boys on this side and girls on this side and just sharing old stories and obviously my wife would be just an outcast in one corner next to me. I just dont wanna be worried and go home early with her when I am out with the old school boyz. She was cool at first before ....just read on polks...

Now the interesting part, the lady in the house suddenly got a amnesia claiming that I DONT WANNA TAKE HER WITH ME.......Blah blah blah, my X is going to be there BLA BLA BLAh......... u guys getting this. SO WTF.....is going on, granted that she would like me to take her and I don’t want to, THAT's NOT THE POINT!!!!! The point is I/WE CAN NOT! It's not logical to haul the kids at their age to the event!!!!!!

AHAAAAA..in addition to this, the inlaws had a plan to go to disneyworld around the same time and have asked the wife to tag along, fun effective for the kids_family blues, but it aint possible due to my previous engagement. As a father, I negotiated to go with the inlaws but I have to bounce early from there thus leaving her with kidz and the monster inlaws (monster causing the heat) alone for a day (1 freaking day ONLY). Obviously the other half of my own, the so called wife, sided with her clan on top of her friends who made a big deal about me and the so called X. WTF...........

SO HERE I AM PULLING MY HAIR......WTF......

As a husband, I will sit down and discuss with my wife. I hope this time she would be more UNDERSTANDING and about my concerns/ interest versus "the FAMILY is first" as her lightning sword against me.

I love the fact that the mature audience in this POLKfamily, the advices are always family oriented and for the LOVE, UNITY and PEACE.

KUDOS to you all!!!!!!!!!:)

FYI: I LOVE MY WIFE DEARLY AND WE HAVE A BEAUTIFUL FAMILY. The reality of marriage goes UP and DOWN............

I am on the down mode..... the amp is shorted out.

Hillbilly61

I really just scanned your post. Too much text and too little attention span on my part.

Issue 1 (as perceived): Somebody disinvited your wife for attending the informal reunion. If correct: F* them. I'm not attending either.

Issue 2. Disneyland conflict: So let the inlaws take them. That does not mean that your wife has to go along. If you have a reunion planned and the inlaws wants to take the kids to Disney, then, hell, A) she gets to attend the reunion with you and you two get to spend some time alone.

If she is placing her priorities with going to Disney with the kids over spending time with you, then that is entirely another story. While my wife has our kids interests ahead of me (which they should be) on fundamental issues, this is not a fundamental issue concerning the kids.

If her family will not keep them OR you TWO are not comfortable with them being totally in charge of their welfare, then that says volumes with whom I would want to entrust my kids with or having them to keep company with.

If your wife wants to or need to accompany the kids to Disneyland, you have this renunion coming up, but you two cannot work it all out, then my wife and I would not attend either. The kids stay home and life is as if the situation never happened.

Did I earlier say that my wife and I are a team? The same concerning issues, big or small, involving our kids.

Retro152

Just like you said, quote: "It would be more fun without her, she would also be an outcast". You got no "Style" doggie.:p

Sherardp

Since it is informal and sounds more like a get together than an actual reunion, I suggest you stay your a$$ home or go to Disneyland bro. Sounds like too much heat over the issue. Think long and hard on it, take one for the team and just kick it with the family.

Hillbilly61

Keiko wrote: »

Personally, I'd rather go to Disneyland. They have the best Monte Cristo sandwiches at the Blue Bayou restaurant and I love the PotC boat ride. But that's just me.

I'm with Sherardp. Take one for the team doggie. Go with the wife and kids to Disneyland. Have a good time with your family bro.

Personally, I'd rather meet up with Keiko over dinner and drinks. Keiko, could you PM me pics of yourself that you would not dare share with CP?

Seriously, it sounds like stay at home time, Doggie. If you find things to be that fundamentally wrong, ask & expect your wife to stay at home with you too. She will understand and do so ... did I say that my wife and I are a team?

Hillbilly61

Keiko wrote: »

:eek: I'm tellin' your wife you're hittin' on me Lee

Do it! My wifey and I have an arraingement. Either of us can look and occasionally flirt. Never no touch! :cool:

cfrizz

I know that Lee. I've met some & know some personally. However, I base my comments SOLEY in context on this particular forum. And I can tell you that 5years ago the majority of the men on here CHOSE to talk like "dicks", make disparaging remarks about women, some even made them about their wives,:eek: and called the 1 or 2 that were brave enough to admit up front that they loved their wives "whipped" or worse!

Things have been very slow to change around here. I'm absolutely delighted to see the more enlightened men voice these kinds of comments. That's why I commended those that spoke up, not many do in this kind of atmosphere for the reasons I listed above.

Believe me Lee, I know some fine men who have my absolute respect & admiration for the commitment they have shown to their wives & families!

Hillbilly61 wrote: »

Cathy,

You give guys way too little credit! While the gender differences are present, guys place as much of a value with their relationships as gals do too. Only "dicks" and "****" do not ... and that can be found on either side of the proverbial gender fence.

Lee

Hillbilly61

Damaged alright! My wife, my life's teamate, is the culprit.

Hillbilly61

cfrizz wrote: »

I know that Lee. I've met some & know some personally. However, I base my comments SOLEY in context on this particular forum. And I can tell you that 5years ago the majority of the men on here CHOSE to talk like "dicks", make disparaging remarks about women, some even made them about their wives,:eek: and called the 1 or 2 that were brave enough to admit up front that they loved their wives "whipped" or worse!

Things have been very slow to change around here. I'm absolutely delighted to see the more enlightened men voice these kinds of comments. That's why I commended those that spoke up, not many do in this kind of atmosphere for the reasons I listed above.

Believe me Lee, I know some fine men who have my absolute respect & admiration for the commitment they have shown to their wives & families!

Thanks. All of the guy pals I have feel the same way about their ladies. This goes way before 5 years ago and through current. While new here, I like most of the personalities present on CP. Based upon what you state, I may have not been given the same impression on CP 5 years ago or so.

Lee

snow

This is really none of my concern and I probally shouldndt even be commenting on this thread, but here goes correct me if im wrong. It appears that you sit down and explained to your wife the reasons whe she shouldndt come rather than ask her if she wanted to come which in my experience with women was your first mistake

She finds out somehow that your ex is going to be there whether it be you that told her or one of her friends, now I dont know what your trust level is between you and your wife but I do know that most women when there told by there husband that they would rather attend an event alone that is going to have several other women there one being the ex it tends to make them upset. I hope you didnt tell your wife that she would feel like an outcast at this event, because she knows there are several other women there, why is she the only one that would be an outcast? would be going through her head, there must be some other reason why he doesnt want me to come? maybe it's because the ex is there? Even if your reasons are not of this nature trust me now that the seeds are planted she's convinced they are which puts Doggie in the doghouse if you go.


Personally it seems to me that your being very selfish about this whole thing, you mention that you feel she needs to pay more attention to your concerns/ interest versus "the FAMILY" is first.

Whether its because you simply want to spend a fun time out with the boys and feel your wife would spoil the fun, or whether you actually do have ulterior motives concerning the ex in mind is besides the point it is still selfish.

The smart thing to do is tell her hey honey if we cant find a babysitter for the kids and go together then we will just go to disneyland together and everyone is happy including the kids.

Trust me on this women have a very keen sense of when something is out of place. You may not have told her its more fun without her or that you actually dont want to take her but believe me they can sense these things, they have an uncanny knack or 6th sense for knowing when there being played

You of course can sat down and explain your **** off as to why she shouldndt come but I wouldndt do it, it will only make things worse.



REGARDS SNOW

cfrizz

I thought this was a formal affair school sponsored. It's not. Go to Disney.

I don't see the value or relevency sitting around yappin about the PAST when you have more current, important things to do & discuss with your FAMILY.

Retro152

Doggie, sorry man, but with all due respect, your thread is absolutely pathetic. I have been married 17 year's to my wife, and love her dearly. Yeah, i have my night's out with the boy's, will have a few, BS, and go home.

Okay, you have a HS reunion, your married, (duh! wife is included) Not included, why the hell wouldnt she be pissed off? she get's the kid's, she's an outcast, (As you mentioned), And your ex will be there. HELLO! you cant be that thick, well maybe you are to even "throw up" this thread. As a married man, if your looking for sympathy, and a "Green light", like you said, try the Klipsch forum.

dudeinaroom

+1 on what snow said. My 2 cents, Nachos and PIE, little more nachos, some more PIE,forget the nachos, screw the PIE

dragon1952

Go without her. The most beautiful girl in school will probably be there.....alone, and she'll still be gorgeous. She'll fall all over you and you'll make the most amazing love you've ever had all night long. Or, you take your wife and it happens to someone else. Your choice, dude.

TroyD

doggie750 wrote: »

Hello POlkie,
Got issues with the wifey, I have a HS reunion, peeps I haven't touchbase with since 88, to attend in August and I am going solo due to babysitting issues. Honestly, it's more fun w/o my significant other RIGHT! Now her clan have brainwashed her and NOW she is making a big deal out of it for not going. WTF is wrong with people.:mad:

OH yeah I have made up my mind and stood my ground. DOGHOUSE? Bring it on..............

BUT I JUST CANT STAND THE FACT WHY THIS **** HAS TO BE AN ISSUE.......:mad::mad::mad::mad:

Wow, man...I'm sure this has been dealt with in other responses which I haven't read.

Go back and read this and pretend that it's your wife saying this about/to you......feel like a douchebag?

Maybe it's because I'm gone so much but if TLW isn't involved, I seriously don't want to go anywhere.

BDT

george daniel

To the OP,, take your wife,drop the drama,buy some tube gear.

avelanchefan

You know whats funny to me? I read this thread and Doggie is all hurt about the wife and a high school reunion, and I thought to myself, "Whenever I get my reunion cards they go right in the trash. I could not give a flying freak what most of those a-holes are doing now."

Why go to a reunion to see a bunch of schleps try to one up each other on life experiences?

Murray1

Obviously, your wife is concerned. It does not matter what the reasons are. Respect her feelings and DO NOT GO without her. Your future relationship with your wife is much more important than a HS reunion. This is an opportunity for you to show her you love her and that you are willing to put her first in your life. Once we start giving rather than receiving, our mates will typically reciprocate in like fashion. Then, marriage becomes very cool as each person puts the other's desires before their own. It gets down to respecting each other's feelings.......something our self-centered culture has lost over the years. Hope this helps.

Remember, your wife is your friend for life. Your HS buddies will have to take a back seat.

obieone

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tonyb

wingnut4772 wrote: »

Let me get this straight.... You are upset that your wife is upset that you don't want her to go with you to your high school reunion because it will be more 'fun' without her - your wife? Yeah..I really can't see why that should be a problem.:rolleyes:

Ding ding....spot on Darla.Wonder if he'd be pissed off if the situation was the other way.Sounds to me like someone didn't try to hard to find a baby sitter.

madmax

dragon1952 wrote: »

Go without her. The most beautiful girl in school will probably be there.....alone, and she'll still be gorgeous. She'll fall all over you and you'll make the most amazing love you've ever had all night long. Or, you take your wife and it happens to someone else. Your choice, dude.

Finally, the voice of reason!
madmax

raidersrule76

I just went to my 15yr last night, and yes I took the wife.....funny enough I talked to some of my class mates that I hadn't seen in fifteen years but that only lasted for a little while and I ended up talking and hanging out with my wife most of the night, just like every other time we go out and I had a blast. I didn't really even care about the rest of the people, so you might want to keep that in mind, oh and by the way who stands by your side no matter what, and who hasn't botherd to get ahold of you in 20 years. I think that would be something to think about just my 2 cents.