Forum Bullying....so this is an AUDIO Forum?

Knucklehead

Evolution of a Forum Bully
Forum bullies are typically intelligent. They begin as helpful members of the forum. But as their power grows, their true nature reveals itself. Once established, forum bullies begin mixing their helpful posts with intimidation. As they evolve, and develop a reputation, they attract followers. The followers serve as back up, often times speaking on behalf of the bully to clarify the forum bully's statements. Other times the followers are like a pack of hyenas jumping in for the kill after the bully has drawn blood.

A forum bully is school ground throwback. Remember that middle school bully with his pathetic little band of sycophantic followers? That's a forum bully. Established members of the group, who don't agree with the forum bully, usually remain quiet while the bully tears apart people just for sport and as a demonstration of power within the forum.

The other problem of a forum bully is that he/she creates an atmosphere of fear within the forum - not fear among the established members, but rather fear among those outsiders who want to participate in the forum. It is this fear that enables the forum bully to operate. A forum operates on the classic in-group/out-group dynamic. The bully's behavior is tolerated because of an understanding of this dynamic. You don't attack those within the inner circle, only those outside it.

If one of the respected members of the forum were to call the bully what he/she is, a petty, repugnant fraction of a human being, this member risks losing position within the forum. The resulting forum is a place in which comments are guarded. Politics are played. And the free flow of information is stifled. The forum bully also undermines the legitimacy of everyone else in the forum.
Have fun with this................................................:mad:

McLoki

Ummm - this is an internet forum. No one here can beat you up nor take your lunch money (and while meeting after school may be mentioned - to my knowledge your chances are better at winning the lottery)

Not sure where you think this "Power" comes from - but no one on here has any ability to make or break your day that you do not give them. if you think some one is mean, not nice or an idiot - use the ignore feature. You are the one with the power. If you think someone is a bully and they bother you after that fact - it is your fault, not theirs....

Michael

madmax

We have the power... :eek:

Knucklehead

it is what it is

cnh

I've been around only a bit longer than you, Knucklehead. And I've taken a few lumps here and there. Sometimes 'deserved' sometimes 'not'. But I'm also a professional who is in his early 50s, I played football in H.S. and boxed in college. A member of the working class who has Ivy League degrees I can take more than a few good shots...probably a LOT! I don't exactly 'understand' everything that goes on here...it is occasionally irrational. But there is also provocation in some instances that is the problem.

The question is the short fuse that some of us seem to be on! But I am not entirely unfamiliar with that. It would be like one of 'my' students in an Intro class trying to tell me, a respected member of the National community in my field what I should be 'teaching' him or how I don't really 'know' what I'm talking about but how a first year undergrad who has never had a course in my field knows 'more' than I do. How would "I" handle that? Well, I could either 'correct' him or I could blast him! Since I'm a more level headed guy. I'd give him a few chances before I escalated my behavior.

As an academic I am also more than familiar with fraternity 'hazing', 'testing'. And some of that is seen here as well.

In the end my SKIN is a bit too tough, my experiences too expansive, my demeanor too honest to be permanently phased by anything that comes my way. This is not to 'excuse' some things I've seen that make me wince for others....not myself.

And as pointed out above. It's only a forum-a virtual community where we don't know each other that well. If we met face-to-face the dynamic would be very different. You can just turn away and not take this stuff seriously after all.

cnh

Knucklehead

but is really too much for people to just be polite?

McLoki

Knucklehead wrote: »

but is really too much for people to just be polite?

People are what they are.

It could also be said that if someone says something that can be taken more than one way - can't you just accept that they may not have meant it in the worst way it could be taken?

Take it as constructive critisim - even if it does not appear that way at first glance - and go on with your life.

comfortablycurt

What's the point of this thread? Pot stirring at it's best.

This is a community. Just like in real life, people have different personalities. Some people are nice, some rude, some helpful, some arrogant...some of them are even bullies. There's nothing you can do about that, and nothing is ever going to change it.

Welcome to the internet.

Knucklehead

comfortablycurt wrote: »

What's the point of this thread? Pot stirring at it's best.

This is a community. Just like in real life, people have different personalities. Some people are nice, some rude, some helpful, some arrogant...some of them are even bullies. There's nothing you can do about that, and nothing is ever going to change it.

Welcome to the internet.

my point exactly.......no pot stirring here, the pot stirring occurs when people are bashed for an opinion.

heiney9

Knucklehead wrote: »

but is really too much for people to just be polite?

Unlike the school yard playground...........if you don't like it here feel free to leave. You are entitled to your opinion and I truly respect that you feel this way. But if it's so unbearable then just leave. It's obviously an issue with you or you wouldn't have posted such a potentially inflammatory diatribe.

Your post offers no solution and is worded in such a way to be confrontational. If you really wanted to be productive a new apporach is needed and that is assuming your rant has validity which I don't believe it does.

Have a nice day.............I know I am

H9

zombie boy 2000

heiney9 wrote: »

Unlike the school yard playground...........if you don't like it here feel free to leave.

I was about to post this exact same thing, but H to the 9 beat me to the punch. Pretty simple, don't ya think?

tcrossma

Knucklehead wrote: »

it is what it is

What I see this as is some new people coming in, posting known controversial topics, and then whining when they get pushback. From my point of view on the sideline some of it looks intentional to create forum drama. I don't know if it is or not, but that's what it looks like to me.

Yes, some replies to some posts are sometimes a bit on the rude side. But to me, most of it is not over the top and more akin to "enough already, I'm tired of this topic so please go away" attitude, which I don't think is necessarily unjustified in some cases. Some of the replies are even fairly polite, just not in agreement with the OP, which some seem to take be taken as being bullied -- which is crazy.

If I wanted a soap opera I can find that on TV. So how about people stop whining and either stop posting the known controversial topics, or go ahead and post them but be prepared for the results and don't whine about it.

Just my 2c.

Knucklehead

heiney9 wrote: »

Unlike the school yard playground...........if you don't like it here feel free to leave. You are entitled to your opinion and I truly respect that you feel this way. But if it's so unbearable then just leave. It's obviously an issue with you or you wouldn't have posted such a potentially inflammatory diatribe.

Your post offers no solution and is worded in such a way to be confrontational. If you really wanted to be productive a new apporach is needed and that is assuming your rant has validity which I don't believe it does.

Have a nice day.............I know I am

H9

I respect your opinion, but i disagree...........and why would anybody think that I am so miserable or that this place is unbearable? You said it yourself...im entitled to my opinion and thats what i gave...and yeah...my day is great! NOBODY on this forum gets under my skin, its like water off a ducks back! The misery is with the people who use the forum to bash other people.

Knucklehead

tcrossma wrote: »

What I see this as is some new people coming in, posting known controversial topics, and then whining when they get pushback. From my point of view on the sideline some of it looks intentional to create forum drama. I don't know if it is or not, but that's what it looks like to me.

Yes, some replies to some posts are sometimes a bit on the rude side. But to me, most of it is not over the top and more akin to "enough already, I'm tired of this topic so please go away" attitude, which I don't think is necessarily unjustified in some cases. Some of the replies are even fairly polite, just not in agreement with the OP, which some seem to take be taken as being bullied -- which is crazy.

If I wanted a soap opera I can find that on TV. So how about people stop whining and either stop posting the known controversial topics, or go ahead and post them but be prepared for the results and don't whine about it.

Just my 2c.

huh?

Knucklehead

zero wrote: »

who really gives a **** about what anyone here has to say? Carry on with your business.

now thats funny!!!!

Jstas

What the hell is all this about? Somebody got their feelings hurt?

Who has the Club Polk Crying Towel? Who ever has it, pass it to this guy, he seems to be in need.

Most times when feelings get hurt its because of a breakdown in communication. Someone tries to relate an idea and fails miserably. Out of frustration that their point of view might actually be questioned (God forbid!), they lash out and only make things worse. Instead of ignoring the questioner's rather caustic approach in most cases and clarifying, they fight and argue. Then we have posts like this show up.

I call it The faster100 Syndrome.

Who is at fault? Both sides. Side one for not taking the time and having the patience for conveying their thoughts accurately and completely and side two for taking cheap shots at side one because they didn't fully understand the other point of view. Could it be avoided? Probably. It won't though because people in general are way too self important. Is it bullying? Far from it.

cnh wrote: »

It would be like one of 'my' students in an Intro class trying to tell me, a respected member of the National community in my field what I should be 'teaching' him or how I don't really 'know' what I'm talking about but how a first year undergrad who has never had a course in my field knows 'more' than I do. How would "I" handle that? Well, I could either 'correct' him or I could blast him! Since I'm a more level headed guy. I'd give him a few chances before I escalated my behavior.

cnh

I get what you are saying but I gotta point out something. If you have an undergrad who is like sub 22 years old, he/she is a kid. You kind of expect a kid with no experience but proud to be in college to be a little too zealous in his/her approach. Given the learning environment you are in, you give them a chance to be shown they are wrong without too much damage to the ego because it promotes learning and makes your teaching more effective.

When dealing with a grown man or woman who exhibits the same behavior in a public forum where they should probably know better already or at least recognize a higher level of experience, the tolerance level is much lower. While the academic approach is preferable, adults who exhibit this behavior often have an ego problem to begin with. When they are shown nicely that they are incorrect and then given the correct information, they often take it as condescension and react poorly. Some times the help and correction is presented condescendingly too. Is that an excuse for either side? No way. Being though that they are an adult, those that took the time to actually learn and get the knowledge tend to have less tolerance for someone like that and are more prone to issue a beatdown of sorts to someone who just doesn't quite get it. Help and knowledge come in many ways. Whether it's the soft and caring touch of mom, the harsh reality of dad, the enlightened patience of an educator or the brash impatience of the rest of the world lacking the time for you to catch up, it's all a learning experience. How it is approached from both sides affects how both sides walk away from it. A suck-**** attitude is a suck-**** attitude and it just makes for a bad experience all around whether it's on the needing help side or the helpful side.

ND13

America is turning into a bunch of wusses.

jkacura39

Knucklehead wrote: »

but is really too much for people to just be polite?

ive seen a couple of the veterans here be genuinely nice and helpful, even when you have a stupid question or none popular statement. But alot of the 5,221,251 posters are a$$holes. period. they are kind of like the teacher in school that would embarrase you infront of the class for getting an answer wrong or something. yea they are knowledgeable about what they know as far as audio, but i can guarantee you that most of their knowledge didnt come from them studing books, but yet just reading someone elses posts about different things. kinda like cheating on an exam and getting an A. yea it looks like you were smart but in the end your just using someone elses brain.

im a newbie so i can just see the hate posts to me after this post of my opinion....

Knucklehead

"recognize a higher level of experience"?...are you kidding me? 99.9% of the posts on here is an opinion...thats all....just because someone has 10,000 posts doesnt make them an expert at audio.....this is about forum etiquite...nothing else......do i really get a crying towel?...does it say "polk audio"?

Conradicles

You are a Knucklehead. If we were at the playground I would push you down.






Just Kidding!!!

...chill, its all good. Have fun. But these useless threads.....................................
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Jstas

Knucklehead wrote: »

"recognize a higher level of experience"?...are you kidding me? 99.9% of the posts on here is an opinion...thats all....just because someone has 10,000 posts doesnt make them an expert at audio.....this is about forum etiquite...nothing else......do i really get a crying towel?...does it say "polk audio"?

And there it is.

Now I know where the problem is. Good job. You've achieved the top of teh bozo list.

As for opinions, education comes in many forms, not just a book. Real world experience is equally as valid as anything you can get out of a book. The difference between a book and experience? A book is a collection of knowledge, shared. Experience is earned and when it's shared, it fits the idea of wisdom which is shared knowledge/experience. If you can't see and respect that in others they you aren't going to get any more respect than you give. Life experience is hard earned and disrespecting someone because they are sharing an experience opinion is essentially pissing on the book that is their life.

Good job. You're winnin' friends and influencin people!

Where's Dale Carnegie when you need him?

Knucklehead

Conradicles wrote: »

You are a Knucklehead. If we were at the playground I would push you down.






Just Kidding!!!

...chill, its all good. Have fun. But these useless threads.....................................
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I do realize my thread was pretty useless....BUT DAMN!!! IT FELT GOOD!!!!

GO TARHEELS!!!!

jkacura39

Jstas wrote: »

And there it is.

Now I know where the problem is. Good job. You've achieved the top of teh bozo list.

As for opinions, education comes in many forms, not just a book. Real world experience is equally as valid as anything you can get out of a book. The difference between a book and experience? A book is a collection of knowledge, shared. Experience is earned and when it's shared, it fits the idea of wisdom which is shared knowledge/experience. If you can't see and respect that in others they you aren't going to get any more respect than you give. Life experience is hard earned and disrespecting someone because they are sharing an experience opinion is essentially pissing on the book that is their life.

Good job. You're winnin' friends and influencin people!

Where's Dale Carnegie when you need him?

Thats one of the a-holes i was talking about

comfortablycurt

Knucklehead wrote: »

my point exactly.......no pot stirring here, the pot stirring occurs when people are bashed for an opinion.

If this isn't pot stirring, then what is it? You posted a thread relaying your personal opinion of the forum and some of it's members. You offered no solution or anything of the such. You were simply stating your opinion of some of the members here. This post serves no purpose other than to incite an argument. An argument that has been had numerous other times here, and turned out with the exact same results each time. If you have problems with any of our members being ****...there's this great feature called the "Ignore List". It makes it so that you'll never have to read another one of their posts ever again. I suggest you use it.

I state again, what is the point of this thread?

Knucklehead

Jstas wrote: »

And there it is.

Now I know where the problem is. Good job. You've achieved the top of teh bozo list.

As for opinions, education comes in many forms, not just a book. Real world experience is equally as valid as anything you can get out of a book. The difference between a book and experience? A book is a collection of knowledge, shared. Experience is earned and when it's shared, it fits the idea of wisdom which is shared knowledge/experience. If you can't see and respect that in others they you aren't going to get any more respect than you give. Life experience is hard earned and disrespecting someone because they are sharing an experience opinion is essentially pissing on the book that is their life.

Good job. You're winnin' friends and influencin people!

Where's Dale Carnegie when you need him?

MORE THAN YOU THINK! 14 positive PM's so far

Conradicles

Knucklehead wrote: »

GO TARHEELS!!!!

Now your talkin' good stuff. National Champs baby!:)

Knucklehead

comfortablycurt wrote: »

If this isn't pot stirring, then what is it? You posted a thread relaying your personal opinion of the forum and some of it's members. You offered no solution or anything of the such. You were simply stating your opinion of some of the members here. This post serves no purpose other than to incite an argument. An argument that has been had numerous other times here, and turned out with the exact same results each time.

I state again, what is the point of this thread?

Like I said......DAMN!!!! IT FELT GOOD!!!!!!!!

strider

madmax wrote: »

We have the power... :eek:

Who has the power?



He-man!

jkacura39

Conradicles wrote: »

Now your talkin' good stuff. National Champs baby!:)

boooh!!! they beat my Sooners!!!


BOOMER SOONERS BABY

jkacura39

Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going. Wooooo!

FLAIR

ben62670

Hey newbs and dumbasses that don't spend much time here. Please listen carefully. There has been a bunch of tards dropping in from other forums to start crap. That is it. Notice that most of the posts from the group of tards is in cable debates and other controversial subjects. If you are too stupid to see that please slap and sterilize yourself. May of the so called "bullies" spend a lot of their time helping newbs. We don't get paid to help people out we usually enjoy sharing what we learned. If you still don't get it please join a self help forum. If someone truly has a question they want answered their are plenty of guys(and gals) here that would love to share what they have learned. KH please come back when you are at least 20.
Thanks
Ben