Charmin?

George Grand
George Grand Posts: 12,258
edited May 2008 in The Clubhouse
Why do these people even advertise? Quilted Northern absolutely WIPES Charmin. Any **** could see that.
Post edited by George Grand on
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  • Early B.
    Early B. Posts: 7,900
    edited May 2008
    Yeah, and what's with the whole "squeezably soft" thing? Who da' hell wants soft tissue? That means you gotta wipe up your **** more often. It's a pain in the **** to wipe your **** with Charmin.
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  • Joe08867
    Joe08867 Posts: 3,919
    edited May 2008
    I prefer Charmin Ultra Plus. I also have Crohn's so I go more often than most people. Alot more!!

    Northern is my second choice. It is also soft but the Charmin has aloe in it that soothes the savage butt.

    Scott is like using sandpaper.
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  • Fongolio
    Fongolio Posts: 3,516
    edited May 2008
    Scott is the John Wayne of tp. It's rough and it's tough and it don't take sh%t from nobody!!!
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  • hearingimpared
    hearingimpared Posts: 21,136
    edited May 2008
    Fongolio wrote: »
    Scott is the John Wayne of tp. It's rough and it's tough and it don't take sh%t from nobody!!!

    I agree, it just scrapes that arsehole clean . . . my favorite.

    Charmin is finger through the paper crap then you go to smell your finger to see if you got any **** on it and you accidently touch your nose. . . what a pain in the . . .
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  • devani
    devani Posts: 1,497
    edited May 2008
    hearingimpared wrote: »
    I agree, it just scrapes that arsehole clean . . . my favorite.

    Charmin is finger through the paper crap then you go to smell your finger to see if you got any **** on it and you accidently touch your nose. . . what a pain in the . . .

    SPOKEN from true experience:D:D
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  • TroyD
    TroyD Posts: 13,085
    edited May 2008
    I got to go with the Fonger on this one. Scott's also exfoliates. That's a good thing.

    BDT
    I plan for the future. - F1Nut
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  • Systems
    Systems Posts: 14,873
    edited May 2008
    TroyD wrote: »
    I got to go with the Fonger on this one. Scott's also exfoliates. That's a good thing.

    BDT

    So whats the wipe of choice in Korea?
    Testing
    Testing
    Testing
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  • bobman1235
    bobman1235 Posts: 10,822
    edited May 2008
    TroyD wrote: »
    I got to go with the Fonger on this one. Scott's also exfoliates. That's a good thing.

    BDT

    I'm a Scott's guy all the way. "Quilted" TP is more comfortable, sure, but it doesn't get the job done. I'm all about utility when it comes to that area.
    If you will it, dude, it is no dream.
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  • AndyGwis
    AndyGwis Posts: 3,655
    edited May 2008
    George Grand wrote: »
    Quilted Northern absolutely WIPES Charmin. Any **** could see that.

    I'm digging the puns. This is a well constructed sentence.

    I used Charmin myself but may look into Quilted Northern based on your recommendation.
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  • George Grand
    George Grand Posts: 12,258
    edited May 2008
    I'm finished with the product, both critiquing and using. Charmin' will never take lumps in my home again.
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  • strider
    strider Posts: 2,568
    edited May 2008
    Effing classic. You're on fire today, George.
    Wristwatch--->Crisco
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  • reeltrouble1
    reeltrouble1 Posts: 9,312
    edited May 2008
    Mr. Whipple has issues with tissues.

    RT1
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  • jcaut
    jcaut Posts: 1,849
    edited May 2008
    I hate it when my TP has excessive tensile strength but insufficient shear strength.
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  • petrym
    petrym Posts: 1,912
    edited May 2008
    Only Quilted Northern touches the backsides of the folks in this house.
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  • mhardy6647
    mhardy6647 Posts: 33,972
    edited May 2008
    It's the 21st Century. Why can Mankind's collective genius not produce a roll of toilet paper that can easily be 'started'?
    Quilted Northern absolutely WIPES Charmin. Any **** could see that.
    Too fecking funnny, George! There are just piles of possibilities; too many to waste. I am flushed with envy.
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  • BottomFeeder
    BottomFeeder Posts: 1,684
    edited May 2008
    Oh my gosh!

    This is an AMAZING thread!

    THIS is why I am a member of this, & only this, forum.

    The things I learn around here just continue to change my life!
    "Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then." Bob Seger
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  • Fireman32
    Fireman32 Posts: 4,845
    edited May 2008
    I use the quilted northern and I always keep baby wipes by the toilet to give that extra clean feeling.
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  • SolidSqual
    SolidSqual Posts: 5,218
    edited May 2008
    I prefer to use Kleenex tissue with aloe. Its the kind soothing strength my **** has come to depend on.
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  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited May 2008
    :eek::eek::eek: Dear George, if this is what you have been reduced to on this forum from being retired....you should REALLY think about finding another job!!!:eek:;):D
    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
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  • George Grand
    George Grand Posts: 12,258
    edited May 2008
    I didn't mean to spark a fire here. Everybody has their preferences. Just because something rubs ME the wrong way........
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  • Jstas
    Jstas Posts: 14,842
    edited May 2008
    I use pine cones.

    If I run out, Brillo pads will do in a pinch.
    Expert Moron Extraordinaire

    You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
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  • Demiurge
    Demiurge Posts: 10,874
    edited May 2008
    Charmin = Dingleberries

    "What gets me about the Cottonelle for kids, besides the uncomfortable feeling of shoving a dog into my yammy, is that the puppy is pictured in two poses. One, with his tongue out next to a parrot, and the other, in a canoe with a monkey. No, seriously, in a canoe with a monkey:"

    Photo493.jpg

    1155747139549.gif
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  • BottomFeeder
    BottomFeeder Posts: 1,684
    edited May 2008
    Jstas wrote: »
    I use pine cones.

    If I run out, Brillo pads will do in a pinch.

    In a "pinch!"

    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

    This is too much!

    Stop it already so I can get some work done!
    "Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then." Bob Seger
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  • BIZILL
    BIZILL Posts: 5,432
    edited May 2008
    i'm just saying, with today's technology, you'd think mankind could manufacture TP that tears away appropriately at the perforations. then you've got the TP that leaves its own trace fuzz. other considerations are that if the TP is thick, i only require 4 squares. if thinner, 5+ squares is a must. oh, and my biggest pet peeve in the world...TP installed the wrong way!!!:mad::mad::mad:

    surely we as humans can agree the paper should be grabbed by the front versus reaching down beneath the roll itself to grab the free-hangin' pieces. oh, and then sometimes TP rolls can be a pain in the **** by mimicing packaging tape. WHERE THE HELL IS THE END PIECE?:mad:

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    bobman1235 wrote:
    I have no facts to back that up, but I never let facts get in the way of my arguments.
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  • Polk addict
    Polk addict Posts: 558
    edited May 2008
    Oh man, the end piece...
    Chiranth
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  • avguytx
    avguytx Posts: 1,628
    edited May 2008
    For me, it's the $5 double roll 12 pack at Dollar General which works like a champ. No fingers busting thru and no reason for me to stray back to the "boutique" brands. Awhile back they were out and I had to resort to some $7 4-pack of crap paper that maybe made it thru 2 sit-downs per roll that might have well been self destructing paper once it touched the zone. That sucked.

    Nothing like being satisfied with your butt wipe material, though. It can make or break your day. :D
    Richard? Who's your favorite Little Rascal? Alfalfa? Or is it........................Spanky?.................................Sinner.
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  • BIZILL
    BIZILL Posts: 5,432
    edited May 2008
    anyone wipe with kirkland/costco TP? how is it? worth it?

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    bobman1235 wrote:
    I have no facts to back that up, but I never let facts get in the way of my arguments.
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited May 2008
    I prefer the Scott 60 grit as well.
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  • Sherardp
    Sherardp Posts: 8,038
    edited May 2008
    This thread is hilarious. Since I've been overseas in Japan, that is the roughest TP I have ever used. Not to mention theres no seat to sit on in allot of establishments.

    http://www.healthbolt.net/2006/10/25/the-infamous-japanese-toilet-deconstructed/
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  • Early B.
    Early B. Posts: 7,900
    edited May 2008
    This is some good **** right here:

    http://www.polkaudio.com/forums/showthread.php?t=35516&highlight=toilet
    HT/2-channel Rig: Sony 50” LCD TV; Toshiba HD-A2 DVD player; Emotiva LMC-1 pre/pro; Rogue Audio M-120 monoblocks (modded); Placette RVC; Emotiva LPA-1 amp; Bada HD-22 tube CDP (modded); VMPS Tower II SE (fronts); DIY Clearwave Dynamic 4CC (center); Wharfedale Opus Tri-Surrounds (rear); and VMPS 215 sub

    "God grooves with tubes."
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