female advice

pmckeealaska

Ok,

So I figured I'd write me esteemed Polk Heads with decidedly non audio advice. I went to a party Friday night and an amazing woman who also happens to work in my field (biologist). She initiated the conversation and there was some good sparring between the two of us. I really think there was a connection there, but i have been so out of the dating scene for so long I forgot how it works sometimes. Anyway, I went off to get another beer after she started talking to another woman at the party. As she was getting ready to leave, I could see her checking me out, so I went up to her and made a point of telling her how much I'd enjoyed meeting her. Again, there seemed to be something there.

So I found out through a friend that he works with her and so I know her work email. My question is this: Is it innappropriate to email her at work and pursue this, or should I try another avenue. What do the women on the forum think? Dont want this one to get away!

danger boy

i'm not a women, but good advice can come from another dude too.. go after her. what are you waiting for? If you email her at work, just be discreet and maybe ask her out to dinner, or a movie. Cliche' I know, but dinner's out work great for getting to know someone.

we humans spend way to much time persuing compatible mates... and not enough time actually getting to know them.

go for it, as you said, you felt some spark there... and it appears that she showed more than just a passing interest in you. you're an adult, be an adult about it and not a 13 yr old boy with a crush on a cute girl.

good luck.. i'm rootin' for ya.

PolkThug

Do not email her. Have your friend drop a hint, "So, I heard you met one of my friends at a party, he thinks you're pretty cool...." Then see what her reaction is.

nms

Completely unqualified advice, but maybe try to get a outside of work email from her to continue correspondence...

petrym

You should have asked her for contact info at the party - I wouldn't go the through the backdoor by emailing her since (to me at least) that almost looks like you're sneaking/stalking up on her.

Michael
(Not even female, but married for 20 years so I know what those fickle creatures are like... goofy )

BaggedLancer

PolkThug wrote: »

Do not email her. Have your friend drop a hint, "So, I heard you met one of my friends at a party, he thinks you're pretty cool...." Then see what her reaction is.

Agreed, because you got her email from your friend and not her she might find it a bit intrusive. Have your friend drop a hint and maybe add "he went looking for you to get your phone number but you were already gone" or something like that.

petrym

PolkThug wrote: »

Do not email her. Have your friend drop a hint, "So, I heard you met one of my friends at a party, he thinks you're pretty cool...." Then see what her reaction is.

+1 on this response.

WilliamM2

Don't ask her out by e-mail. This happens to women I work with, and it seems to annoy them. Also makes it even easier to say "NO".

dkg999

One word of caution ......... company emails are company property. Do her a favor and have your friend ask is she would like you to have her outside work contact information. I've dealt with some "back to jr high" episodes here at work that were related to this subject, not fun!

danger boy

that's why you gotta be discreet about it.. i would never condone a continuing romance via company email. that's just wrong. but mention that you enjoyed meeting her at the party. and were hoping to get her phone number so you could keep in touch. then move your emails to a non company account. or better yet, call each other or meet in person over tapas !!

ben62670

Stay away. Stay far away. Women are all evil. Even my mother is under suspicion:D

Demiurge

PolkThug wrote: »

Do not email her. Have your friend drop a hint, "So, I heard you met one of my friends at a party, he thinks you're pretty cool...." Then see what her reaction is.

This.

Samantha31

i would never want to see that type of thing in my inbox. As others have said, get your friend to drop a few hints. Take it slow...and on that first date do not talk about you...talk about her

Sammi

ninerbj

Send her a picture of your Junk! Women like that.

BaggedLancer

ninerbj wrote: »

Send her a picture of your Junk! Women like that.

I'm willing to be she doesn't want to see his audio equipment.....





KIDDING.

PhantomOG

Have your friend pass her a note with two check boxes...

Jstas

I would ask your friend to talk to her and tell that you found out that he and her work together and were interested in taking her out. Give him your name and phone number and get him to let her know you are interested. If she is, she'll call.

But yeah, emailing her through work, out of the blue is stalker-ish and qualifies as sexual harassment. She may have seemed in to you but you don't know 100% for sure so it's a risk you're gonna take. But if you are going to go and send her an email, that may turn her off completely and she'll go to the "principals office" on you and no date is worth your livelihood.

sucks2beme

Boy, sounds good, but damned if I know how to proceed.
Send a candygram and ask your friend to look in on her.
If it was well received, he can just act surprized and say
"hey, I know that guy!" And see if she takes the bait.
I'm sure he could drop your cellphone number if it goes well.
If not, at least you wouldn't have to get shot down directly.
And hope your friend doen't use the opening for his move.

I haven't been on the singles circuit in many decades.

rskarvan

Don't pursue it. If she's interested, she'll figure out a way for you two to get together. Just make sure your friend makes casual contact and mentions you so that she has a pathway available.

Once a woman gets her mind set on a guy, its just a matter of time before he falls.

Trust the process and, give up any illusion of control that you may hold.

mrbigbluelight

1. Definitely NO on the email thing.
2. Definitely YES on the "have a friend CASUALLY mention that you saw
her at a party and that he thinks you might be interested".

This gives her an easy out, or an easy in.
Win/Win.

"Oh, is that the guy that was dunking his biscuits in the punch bowl and asking the ladies if they wanted to bob for apples ?"

If she remembers that, you're in like Flynn.

Strong Bad

Based on my numerous years of working in a stripclub....ahh nevermind.


John

pmckeealaska

Wow! All the responses. Well, my friend seems hesitant to tell her of my interest for some reason, or at least it's not a priority for him right now. He's happily married at any rate. I agree the whole email thing is a bad idea, but I do have her phone number at work. How about that? That way, there is no email trail associated with work and I'm using my own personal cell phone line to initiate contact.

steveinaz

Remember, the key to dating women at work without the worry of an EO complaint:

- Be attractive
- Be handsome
- Don't be unattractive

LordSpeakaMinch

Just call her up and:

1. Remind her of your conversation at the party. If she remembers you and acts receptive, then proceed with:


2. Casually mention that you told your friend that you met an interesting lady at the party, but she left before you could get her number. Turns out your friend was able to provide a work number. If she acts appreciative of your attention, then proceed with:


3. Tell her you would like to meet for lunch one day this week (i.e., "I would like to meet you for lunch one day this week." as opposed to "would you like to meet me for lunch?"). I trust you know what to do from here.

The entire conversation should take no more than 5 minutes. Good luck.

Sherardp

My vote for giving her a call and asking her to join you for lunch then perhaps dinner if that all goes well. And as Sammi mentioned, talk about her not so much about you. Women gripe when its all about I..... as in I do this, I own that, I blah blah blah. As guys we love it, however they dont.

auto_pilot

I say email, call her, send her smoke signals...etc.

If you feel a connection...then run with it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Worst that could happen is she says NO.

If you are a guy...then rejection is part of the territory.

danger boy

pmckeealaska wrote: »

Wow! All the responses. Well, my friend seems hesitant to tell her of my interest for some reason, or at least it's not a priority for him right now. He's happily married at any rate. I agree the whole email thing is a bad idea, but I do have her phone number at work. How about that? That way, there is no email trail associated with work and I'm using my own personal cell phone line to initiate contact.

see if she has a MYSpace web page. and contact her that way.. it's away from work. and she might find it cute that you found her that way. worth a try..

if not.. just go up and punch her in the arm.. the way 12 yr old's do.

danger boy

steveinaz wrote: »

Remember, the key to dating women at work without the worry of an EO complaint:

- Be attractive
- Be handsome
- Don't be unattractive

don't be a dick!

steveinaz

Seriously though--women like to be persued..to a point. Don't listen to any of these "new generation" pussies who say (insert whiney voice) "but I want her to come to me" ...sheesh, good luck with that scooter. Reach down, grab hold of your stones and be a man, ask the girl out; that's what men do. Rejection? Who cares...nothing ventured, nothing gained.

My wife & I were good friends for 5 years before we ever dated. I saw my opportunity, and I grabbed it--she loved me almost instaneously--because I'm cool like that. No seriously...she really did. Anywho, Bev did this whole (insert chick voice) "but I don't want our friendship to be jepordized" thing....I said, "look here woman, first of all, lets keep it down to 1 syllable on the words...next, you've got us dating, engaged, married, and divorced all in 5 minutes...lets just take it easy, one step at a time, and be honest with how feel about each other."

She bought it, hook, line, & sinker, and later that night I got lucky.

Any more questions?

BaggedLancer

Steve,

You totally just called someone "Scooter".

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA that is funny.

The rest of the story is funny as well. Nice post

steveinaz

hey man, just doin' what I can to help a brother out.