Haven't had a thread locked in a while....
Comments
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Hey... why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
Because if you were named "fjasoprfjojfvopijowiaerlrkuodfjoafjoaguaawass", you'd run away too!I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore -
zombie boy 2000 wrote:Hey... why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
Because if you were named "fjasoprfjojfvopijowiaerlrkuodfjoafjoaguaawass", you'd run away too!
I Forgot Helen Keller Jokes!!
What did Helen Keller do when she fell down the well?
Screemed her hands off.
Why didn't anyone hear her?
She had mittens on.
How did her parents punish her?
Rearanged the furniture.
Last but not least......
How did Helen Keller break her arms?
Trying to read road signs.HT
Mits WD-65737, DirecTV, Oppo DV-970HD, XBOX ONE, Yamaha RX-A1030, Parasound Halo A23, Rotel RB-985, Music Hall MMF-7, Parasound PPH-100, LSi-15, LSi-C, LSi-FX, LSi-7, PSW-1000, Monster HTS2600
2 CH
Parasound Halo P3, Parasound Halo A21, Sutherland Ph.D, VPI Classic 3 w/ 3D arm & Soundsmith Aida Cartridge, Arcam CD72T, B&W 802 S3, Monster HTS2500, -
How do they know what type of shampoo the crew of the Challenger used?
They found Head and Shoulders all over the beach!I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore -
Why doesn't a blonde's guts fall out her p*ssy when she stands up?
The vacuum in her head keeps them sucked in!!!!
What do you call a dead blonde in a closet?
The 1981 Hide and Go Seek Champion!! (lame)
What if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
(just a thought)Testing
Testing
Testing -
It's about a secret, deep, yearning, forbidden love between a man and his feet.I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore
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cmy330go wrote:How did her parents punish her?
Put a plunger in the toilet...
Replaced the typwriter with an iron...
We had tons of them but I can't remember them all.There is no genuine justice in any scheme of feeding and coddling the loafer whose only ponderable energies are devoted wholly to reproduction. Nine-tenths of the rights he bellows for are really privileges and he does nothing to deserve them. We not only acquired a vast population of morons, we have inculcated all morons, old or young, with the doctrine that the decent and industrious people of the country are bound to support them for all time.-Menkin -
Give her a basketball and tell her to read it.I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore
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How did Helen Keller burn her face?
She was bobbing for french fries.
How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret?
Break her fingers.I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore -
What do you say to a black man riding a bike?
"Stop thief, that's my bike!"
Black and a Mexican are driving in a car...which one's driving?
Neither, the cops. -
What do you get when you cross a black man and a mexican?
A man too lazy to steal a car.
* Disclaimer: It's a poor taste joke and I, nor anyone whom I'm closely associated with holds the views expressed above. Get over it...There is no genuine justice in any scheme of feeding and coddling the loafer whose only ponderable energies are devoted wholly to reproduction. Nine-tenths of the rights he bellows for are really privileges and he does nothing to deserve them. We not only acquired a vast population of morons, we have inculcated all morons, old or young, with the doctrine that the decent and industrious people of the country are bound to support them for all time.-Menkin -
AndyGwis wrote:What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
**** you! You stole my joke! Damnit, I thought I was the only with the balls to tell that one. I love it. -
Whats the worst part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in her wheelchair when you're done. -
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So she can read lips
How did her parents punish her?
left the plunger in the toilit bowl
or
put her in a round room and told her to sit in the corner
Why was her leg yellow
her dog was blind too -
Why do tampons have strings?
So you can floss after you eat.Stereo Rig: Hales Revelation 3, Musical Fidelity CD-Pre 24, Forte Model 3 amp, Lexicon RT-10 SACD, MMF-5 w/speedbox, Forte Model 2 Phono Pre, Cardas Crosslink, APC H15, URC MX-950, Lovan Stand
Bedroom: Samsung HPR-4252, Toshiba HD-A2, HK 3480, Signal Cable, AQ speaker cable, Totem Dreamcatchers, SVS PB10-NSD, URC MX-850 -
This thread has been locked.I know just enough to be dangerous, but don't tell my wife, she thinks I'm a genius.
Pioneer VSX-816
Monitor 40's - fronts, bi-amped
Monitor 30's - surrounds
CS1 - center
PSW10 - I'll let you guess
Blue Jeans Cable - speaker cable
Daewoo 27 incher - one step up from a console
Sony Progressive scan DVD
XBOX
SOPA since 2008
Here's my stuff. -
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Here's a few more HK jokes.
Why didn't Helen Keller change her baby's diaper?
So she could always find him.
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Corduroy.
How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face?
She answered the iron.
How did she burn the other side of her face?
They called back.HT
Mits WD-65737, DirecTV, Oppo DV-970HD, XBOX ONE, Yamaha RX-A1030, Parasound Halo A23, Rotel RB-985, Music Hall MMF-7, Parasound PPH-100, LSi-15, LSi-C, LSi-FX, LSi-7, PSW-1000, Monster HTS2600
2 CH
Parasound Halo P3, Parasound Halo A21, Sutherland Ph.D, VPI Classic 3 w/ 3D arm & Soundsmith Aida Cartridge, Arcam CD72T, B&W 802 S3, Monster HTS2500, -
For a change of pace.....
What does a cue ball and a Mexican have in common?
The harder you hit them the more english you get.HT
Mits WD-65737, DirecTV, Oppo DV-970HD, XBOX ONE, Yamaha RX-A1030, Parasound Halo A23, Rotel RB-985, Music Hall MMF-7, Parasound PPH-100, LSi-15, LSi-C, LSi-FX, LSi-7, PSW-1000, Monster HTS2600
2 CH
Parasound Halo P3, Parasound Halo A21, Sutherland Ph.D, VPI Classic 3 w/ 3D arm & Soundsmith Aida Cartridge, Arcam CD72T, B&W 802 S3, Monster HTS2500, -
I think Russ covered that one already.Stereo Rig: Hales Revelation 3, Musical Fidelity CD-Pre 24, Forte Model 3 amp, Lexicon RT-10 SACD, MMF-5 w/speedbox, Forte Model 2 Phono Pre, Cardas Crosslink, APC H15, URC MX-950, Lovan Stand
Bedroom: Samsung HPR-4252, Toshiba HD-A2, HK 3480, Signal Cable, AQ speaker cable, Totem Dreamcatchers, SVS PB10-NSD, URC MX-850 -
Let's try this again.
This thread is now locked.I know just enough to be dangerous, but don't tell my wife, she thinks I'm a genius.
Pioneer VSX-816
Monitor 40's - fronts, bi-amped
Monitor 30's - surrounds
CS1 - center
PSW10 - I'll let you guess
Blue Jeans Cable - speaker cable
Daewoo 27 incher - one step up from a console
Sony Progressive scan DVD
XBOX
SOPA since 2008
Here's my stuff. -
AndyGwis wrote:I think Russ covered that one already.
Shoot! Can't believe I missed that.HT
Mits WD-65737, DirecTV, Oppo DV-970HD, XBOX ONE, Yamaha RX-A1030, Parasound Halo A23, Rotel RB-985, Music Hall MMF-7, Parasound PPH-100, LSi-15, LSi-C, LSi-FX, LSi-7, PSW-1000, Monster HTS2600
2 CH
Parasound Halo P3, Parasound Halo A21, Sutherland Ph.D, VPI Classic 3 w/ 3D arm & Soundsmith Aida Cartridge, Arcam CD72T, B&W 802 S3, Monster HTS2500, -
Dang it, didn't work.
Carry on then ladies and gents. I shall try again later.I know just enough to be dangerous, but don't tell my wife, she thinks I'm a genius.
Pioneer VSX-816
Monitor 40's - fronts, bi-amped
Monitor 30's - surrounds
CS1 - center
PSW10 - I'll let you guess
Blue Jeans Cable - speaker cable
Daewoo 27 incher - one step up from a console
Sony Progressive scan DVD
XBOX
SOPA since 2008
Here's my stuff. -
edbert wrote:
Let's try this again.
This thread is now locked.
Now I dont care who you are...that was funny right there....Monitor 7b's front
Monitor 4's surround
Frankinpolk Center (2 mw6503's with peerless tweeter)
M10's back surround
Hafler-200 driving patio Daytons
Tempest-X 15" DIY sub w/ Rythmik 350A plate amp
Dayton 12" DVC w/ Rythmik 350a plate amp
Harman/Kardon AVR-635
Oppo 981hd
Denon upconvert DVD player
Jennings Research (vintage and rare)
Mit RPTV WS-55513
Tosh HD-XA1
B&K AV5000
Dont BAN me Bro!!!!:eek: -
My offering...
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jmkSmdPMHf0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jmkSmdPMHf0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo -
Demiurge wrote:My offering...
<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jmkSmdPMHf0"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jmkSmdPMHf0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object>
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Ha.:)Sharp Elite 70
Anthem D2V 3D
Parasound 5250
Parasound HCA 1000 A
Parasound HCA 1000
Oppo BDP 95
Von Schweikert VR4 Jr R/L Fronts
Von Schweikert LCR 4 Center
Totem Mask Surrounds X4
Hsu ULS-15 Quad Drive Subwoofers
Sony PS3
Squeezebox Touch
Polk Atrium 7s on the patio just to keep my foot in the door. -
I think that just gave this thread the boost it needed.Monitor 7b's front
Monitor 4's surround
Frankinpolk Center (2 mw6503's with peerless tweeter)
M10's back surround
Hafler-200 driving patio Daytons
Tempest-X 15" DIY sub w/ Rythmik 350A plate amp
Dayton 12" DVC w/ Rythmik 350a plate amp
Harman/Kardon AVR-635
Oppo 981hd
Denon upconvert DVD player
Jennings Research (vintage and rare)
Mit RPTV WS-55513
Tosh HD-XA1
B&K AV5000
Dont BAN me Bro!!!!:eek: -
I think I will convert that into a pickup line:
Hey, baby. Wanna Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo?Stereo Rig: Hales Revelation 3, Musical Fidelity CD-Pre 24, Forte Model 3 amp, Lexicon RT-10 SACD, MMF-5 w/speedbox, Forte Model 2 Phono Pre, Cardas Crosslink, APC H15, URC MX-950, Lovan Stand
Bedroom: Samsung HPR-4252, Toshiba HD-A2, HK 3480, Signal Cable, AQ speaker cable, Totem Dreamcatchers, SVS PB10-NSD, URC MX-850 -
Why was the cookie sad?
It felt crummy!
(oh no, he didn't....)I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore -
edbert great setup, your kids are the most important.
engtazengtaz
I love how music can brighten up a bad day. -
Shizelbs wrote:Whats the worst part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in her wheelchair when you're done.
Now THAT is funny. I have nothing better to offer....Ghetto Rig
Power: HK AVR245.
Screen: LG 24" 1080p.
Speaks: Rti4.
Source: PC. PS3. Xbox360.
Cables: BlueJeans. Monoprice.
This discussion has been closed.