wives don't get it

larryb52

My wife & I are having a huge difference of opinion & just curious as too how much grief other guys get when it comes to getting that sound just right. A few years ago do to health issues we had to move from a good size house to a condo & my old setup of Onkyo amp, onkyo cd player & a couple of 10B'S had to go into storage. SInce than I have been on a endless quest to get 'that' sound back & have suffered through numerous small systems with frustrating success. Well I latched onto a Polk Isonic a while ago & it seems the quest is over as it's the closest to what I was looking for. However my wife is fumming over the couple systems I have sitting to the side & the 600 I had to spend on the ISonic. I know this is trivial but I grow tired of getting a guilt trip because of my 'hobby' so to speak...sorry for being wordy...

PolkWannabie

Actually ... Some wives do ...

Which flavor of guilt trip are you getting ? ...

Speaker Size ?, Equipment Expenditures ? ... etc ...

There are ways to deal with each of these or at least make it better ...

larryb52

she said the Isonic doesn't sound any different than the JVC small system I replaced & I know I can hear a difference in the highs & lows, she complaining over the price as I play mostly cd's and it's more of radio (as she sees it) In other words I've spent too much money...

Willow

well I have gone through many systems, to which my wife never heard the difference till we moved from a sat/sub to my towers. even recently with the addition of the monoblocks, she said it sounds richer and more full but also says she can't hear that much difference.
We have had many discussions and I'm sure we will continue. What I figures out that works is deal, quid pro quo. So My wife has wanted to travel so in the past two years we've been to 3 different countries in the south, in return I get to buy a piece or two or three of gear a year. When one item is bought and replaces another, the other must either be sold, added to her system in the bedroom, or given to a family member, friend or charity.
The I always say, I could be spending my ..our money on crap, gambling,drugs, drinking, nudiebars and so forth.. but No I buy for the household..usually works

RuSsMaN

Give her five across the eyes, and tell her to get her **** **** in the kitchen and make you some pie.

Refefer

It's all about compromise. You're buying it for yourself, and she'll get her kitchen renovated or a new buisness suit, or who knows what. **** for tat, right?

danger boy

well.. do you involve your wife in the shopping process when you are looking to puchase something audiowise? I think alot of spouses (not all of course) would feel better if they were brought in early in the demo/buying of audio gear.

It's mostly a male hobby... just like power tools and BBQ grillin are as well. I"m not being sexist... i know lots of women who can kick my **** in all the above mentioned skills.. but I think some spouses would enjoy being involved in the buying processs. But you also have to be willing to be involved in something she/he is interested in as well... so choose wisely. :eek:

Willow

Juts be glad she didn't make you buy those little black cube things which are attached to some big black box, which is advertised on late night infomercials.

larryb52

I took her to Tweeter (where I purchased it) & asked her what she thought as I liked the setup. But she just gave me the usual it sounds 'nice' routine which is what I usually get & yea I did the ****-for-tat thing & bought her the light fixtures she wanted for the kitchen but everyonce in a while I just get that speach about how much my stuff costs to the cost of her stuff. She has admitted grudging that her music sound 'pretty good' & I've caught her playing cd's on it though she swears she doesn't know how to work it. I think it's a wives club thing where they just like to complain for complaining sake...oh I go to her crafts shows 4 times a year while she shops through for what seems like an eternity...

cfrizz

If you take a more serious interest in music, men & women you will get it. If you don't, you won't.

It will just be so much noise & not worth more than having a boom box to play it on.

petrym

My wife and I went together to pick out the HT, we figured out the budget and I got to pick out what I wanted. My wife rocks!

PolkWannabie

Larry,

If money is an issue and you haven't done this already then think about having your money, my money and our money ... "our" money is what is used to pay for all non discretionary items ... mortgage, taxes, utilities, food, repairs etc ... individuals money gets used for whatever the individual wants ...

larryb52

maybe just an mid age thing for us both of course. Also I can't say I don't trun systems over early. My old system always had the 10's in it but I turn over amps, etc about 2-3 years or so, the move has just been tough it's hard to replace a large system with something smaller. I like the ISonic because of it's ability to get the lows right with out sacrificing something else. Of course with the condo a large system was out & she has me limited on what part of TV unit I can use...

Shizelbs

Best thing I ever did for my audio hobby as it pertains to my wife is buy a bunch of music that she likes. Play what she listens to. She'll come around and understand the purchases.

The other day she came home from work asking if we could go to a jazz club someday soon. I did a little Tiger Woods fist pump in my head.

BaggedLancer

PolkWannabie wrote:

Larry,

If money is an issue and you haven't done this already then think about having your money, my money and our money ... "our" money is what is used to pay for all non discretionary items ... mortgage, taxes, utilities, food, repairs etc ... individuals money gets used for whatever the individual wants ...

From stories I have heard though is that wives don't under the "my" money part. There is our money, her money and her money(which is your money).:rolleyes:

Keep an off shore bank account, have the statements mailed to a PO box, and never discuss it. :sarcasm:

PolkWannabie

Hey whatever ... What audio / video equipment I buy, how much it costs, how big the speakers or TV are, how far they stick out in the room are for me pretty much a non issue ... Fortunately my wife is more concerned with the results then the process although she'll willingly participate in some aspects of it if I ask her to like a recent DLP purchase where I wanted her opinion about picture etc.

larryb52

I work for a bank so a 2nd acct wouldn't be a problem but for 30 years have always been honest. Perhaps go home & play a bunch of her music would be the solution as I'm sure it would sound great & get her into the flow of things. I am such a control person of sorts, need to be more flexable and maybe she'll hear that sound that works for me...

dragon1952

RuSsMaN wrote:

and tell her to get her **** **** in the kitchen and make you some pie.

LOL! I used that line at a family gathering a while back and it has now become my brother's (and his 10 yr old daughter's) favorite expression. Although sometimes it's truncated and/or modified as in 'shuddup and get your ****-**** in the kitchen' or something similar. And it can be whispered (so as not to piss off the 'wrong' person) and provide a great 'inside joke' between two or more players 'in the know'. A wonderfully versatile phrase and evidently perfect for that father/daughter bonding process that's so important

PolkThug

I gave my wife the "My money is my money" speech before we even got engaged. Its part of the official P-Thuggy screening process. Likewise, I'm not allowed to complain when she buys whatever.

Demiurge

larryb52 wrote:

My wife & I are having a huge difference of opinion & just curious as too how much grief other guys get when it comes to getting that sound just right. A few years ago do to health issues we had to move from a good size house to a condo & my old setup of Onkyo amp, onkyo cd player & a couple of 10B'S had to go into storage. SInce than I have been on a endless quest to get 'that' sound back & have suffered through numerous small systems with frustrating success. Well I latched onto a Polk Isonic a while ago & it seems the quest is over as it's the closest to what I was looking for. However my wife is fumming over the couple systems I have sitting to the side & the 600 I had to spend on the ISonic. I know this is trivial but I grow tired of getting a guilt trip because of my 'hobby' so to speak...sorry for being wordy...

I'm not married, but I believe couples should respect one anothers differing hobbies, especially if it's one you had before you met -- as well as safe and legal. Assuming you're not getting out of control with it and you can afford it, you shouldn't be getting guilt for this at all.

Doesn't she have things she enjoys, like shoes? My girlfriend had more frickin' shoes than were needed by any human being, IMO, but hell, she could afford it and I knew about it going in.

We all have our various hobbies, and I'd say audio is a lot healthier than other hobbies out there.

zombie boy 2000

My wife supports my audio hobby. I support her meth habit. **** for tat.

McLoki

We went together to purchase our first Sub/Sat system (Polk RM-6600) With Onkyo 777AVR.

I moved from that to my LSiC, LSi7 (fronts) with RM6600 rears - she heard a slight difference. (but not much)
added the cinepro amp - no difference,
Replaced the Polk PSW-350 sub with an SVS 25-31cs+ - No difference,
Replaced the rear RM-6600 with LSi7's - No difference,
replaced the front LSi7's with LSi15's - No difference,
replaced the Onkyo 777AVR with an NAD T-163preamp - No difference.

Basically the only the only change she has heard was my initial change from the RM-6600 to the LSI front stage and that was only slight. (in her words) I am sure if she had to, she would be able to tell but honestly, I really don't think she cares that much. She knows I am interested in it (and think I hear a difference) so she puts up with my spending, but I do find it infuriating at times.

I have thought about hooking up our old system and playing some tracks for comparison between my current system and the RM-series, but while I am sure the difference will be great, I am equally sure she really won't care about the differences.

She has her hobbies and I have mine. I enjoy my system greatly and so does she, but I know she would be just as happy watching movies on our old system. To each their own.

Michael

larryb52

You see the sony shelf system I had was like 300 & the ISonic is 600 , she see's the $'s doesn't hear the difference, you have to remove the $ in your head. As I try to explain to hear when I listen to set ups in stores is to close your eyes & listen & pick out the intruments being played & listen for the sound stage, I trully think she tries but after she listens she always asks the price!, it's about sound, price is just one of the factors that come after select listening...

McLoki

Budget always factors in. I usually listen to as many speakers (or electronics) as I can from the highest lines carried in the local stores. From there I decide what I like and then try and find as close to that as possible within my budget. It takes alot of time and effort (more than my wife is willing to put into a hobby she does not care that much about) so the only part that matters to her is the budget side of things.

From her perspective the most annoying part of this hobby is the "never done" aspect of it. It is not a matter of double my budget and I will get something I will never want to upgrade. I am in a constant upgrade process. I have finally reached a point though that my upgrades are at least slowing down. (on the down side they are also getting more expensive)

I just try to look at it from both of our perspectives and discuss purchases with her prior to getting them. That way even if she does not agree that something needs upgraded, she understands why I think it should be....

Michael

PolkWannabie

larryb52 wrote:

You see the sony shelf system I had was like 300 & the ISonic is 600 , she see's the $'s doesn't hear the difference, you have to remove the $ in your head.

LOL ... Tell her to follow the links in my sig and then let her know how lucky she is with your modest desires ... I apparently couldn't do any shelf in the rack for $600 let alone the speakers or TV and that's second hand ...

larryb52

I use to be worse as in thousands, so I could see the beef than but I got less grief when I was younger or maybe I just didn't listen that well...

pblanc

If your wife isn't getting it, what exactly are you expecting the forum members to do?

Deadof_knight

Mine doesnt really support it . Somtime she asks when I got someting. But she knows its my hobby and she has her's, she did say she could hear the difference when I got the 1.2's. Made me feel good but I had to sell(plant the seed) the 1.2's too her over the period of 6 to 8 months .I got the money and got her to say yea might as well since you got your money together. OK I showed her the ones HT had first and she was like eeew no! So I bought them anyways and talked to her about the black tv and the speakers matching(working her like putty) She really liked the tv so I was golden. I knew it would take a while to get them home...so I had plenty of time too get her to accept them as her decision.......I didnt tell her I bought them until I was bringing them in the door one morning after I got back from a job. I had just hooked the TV up a week prior.Samsung LNS-4095. Glossy Black hehehe and show them to her and she was like those really are nice........But then I started to think hmmm who was working who because with a good wife you can never tell but who the hell cares now ...There in the Living room!

Rivrrat

My wife said we're buying a 50" plasma, I said fine. I said we're following it up with a new a/v receiver and the surround speakers I want, she said fine.

The latest discussion was I'm thinking about replacing our 10b's, that she helped pick out in 85. All she did was ask me to wait until the all star soccer team I'm coaching and our doughter plays on is done traveling for the season.

It's nice when your wife gets it.

cfrizz

LarryB I think you said it all in your first post..."I have been on a endless quest..."

That endless quest has cost how many thousands of dollars & how many years? Unless you have endless money & space I would be pitching a fit as well.

I love good audio equipment, but I won't endlessly keep changing out equipment looking for that elusive sound! The vast majority of my equipment is 17 yrs old. Why? Because I did it right the first time!

I understand that this is a hobby for some, but it's a damn expensive hobby which when it impacts 2 people can become a bone of contention.

Thank God I live alone, but am also practical to know when to say enough is enough!

Sami

Haha, mine said she never thought about the sound quality as she never took the time to sit down and "listen". In other words to her music is something in the background or something to dance to (which she loves to do). Well, I recently put together a bedroom system, fairly decent for the money in my opinion; Lexicon CP-1 as preamp (free, thanks to Russman), Luxman D-100 CD-P, Rotel RB-890 amp and SVS 25-31CS with a plate amp, plus Polk LSi7's.

So I put in some Sade late at night, asked her if she thinks it's nice to have some sound in the bedroom as well. "Yes....but", but what, "but it doesn't sound as nice as the other system". Oh, really? Well, maybe it's because the SVS isn't hooked up yet. "Maybe, I don't know. It just doesn't sound as good." Then she actually ranked the system, which one sounded the best.

1. Polk LSi15's biamped with B&K AVP5000, SVS PCU, HK AVR-7200, Toshiba HD-XA1

2. Dahlquist DQ-10's, 15" DIY sub, Aragon 2004, HK3375, Toshiba HD-A1

3. The bedroom setup.

To me it's a hard decision between the two, apples to oranges really but I have to give it to her, the bedroom setup isn't as nice sounding. Maybe it's the room, maybe it's the lack of SVS present, maybe it's the brightness of the Lexicon, or something else. What I'm glad about is that she actually said something about the sound quality!!!

And no, she doesn't **** about my audio purchases. "It's your money, I don't care. If you want it, get it." Sometimes she actually pushes me to buy new toys. "You want it so buy it, stop thinking about it." Of course, we are newlyweds so that might change someday.