Do you ever...

tonyb

....just say WTF is wrong with me ?

The wife is out of town for a couple days so it's just me and the dog. Stereo is blasting, a have a pork roast in the oven for the dog and I, mid afternoon and I'm still wearing a sweatshirt and just underwear and sandals. Pretty picture huh ? I walk out the garage door to throw out some garbage which is attached to the house and let the dog out in the yard from the second garage door.

Problem is, I closed the door attached to the house all the way and locked myself out. With the front door being locked, door on the deck was locked, sliders locked on the walk out, I'm thinking I'm screwed. What....Am I going to go to my neighbors house in my underwear ? Tried every screw driver and knife I could find in the garage to jimmy the lock. I really need to brush up on some lost skills.

Mind you, it's effin' cold out and I'm starting to realize it's going to come down to breaking a window soon. Not wanting to do that, and in a fit of rage, I go by the sliders and yank super hard on the door.....and it fricking opened. Bent the little brass plate on the door jam but who gives a flying you know what. Walk in, and bend the brass plate back so I can lock it again. So I locked it.

Just then, I realized the dog was still outside, go into the garage to see if she's there and ......I effin' close the door behind me again, locking myself out...again !! Now, they say the "Wolf of Wall street" set a all time record for the most "F" bombs, I beg to differ. You couldn't stop me from the constant F bombs coming out of my mouth as that door shut behind me. The dog ran seeing how pissed off I was...and I'm sure a few neighbors were looking out their windows to see what the ruckus was. I could imagine what they were thinking....who's that crazy MF'er in his underwear scaring that poor dog ?

So I went back to the sliders and yanked on the door....it didn't open. I added the word "mother" to my rant of F bombs as the dog slid into the woods thinking it was safer there. Yanked as hard as I could and it opened....leaving the door wide open I immediately went to unlock the effing garage door. Then came back to get the dog who came very slowly when I called her.

We both had some Pork roast later, as I sat and pondered WTF is wrong with me....Alzheimer's or what ?

seabeerob213

just so excited about your tunes that everything else fell by the wayside

polk500

It's Official you lost your mind, now off you go to the padded room.
Cheers
Roger

hochpt21

We must be brothers...

http://www.polkaudio.com/forums/showthread.php?146610-Kind-of-a-funny-story...

seabeerob213

padded with acoustic treatments?

oldrocker

Hmm,

Wifes gone for a few days, pork roast in the oven, me thinks some legacy speakers might be in the mix.
Maybe a fast drive north up 1-65 is in order. Dang, I can't find my car keys...:)

Msabot1

Good read...made my day too....I can almost hear the tapestry of obscenity that was woven from here!...just look at it this way...at least you didn't stub your toe in all that sub zero weather!!!

Moose68Bash

tonyb,

Now, that's a good read to start the day!

All the doors in our house have locks that will lock the door behind you (sounds like yours), and over the years we have had all sorts of people -- including my wife and I -- who have inadvertently locked themselves out.

So, we now have a few keys hidden in strategic places for relatively easy access when the inevitable "LOCK OUT" happens.

I used one last week!

I hope the pork roast was great. Your earned it!

txcoastal1

I'd like to say I was laughing with you, but since I know you weren't laughing at the time, yes I'm laughing at you.
I bet your wife had a chuckle under her breath.
Hope the roast was good

steveinaz

Major shrinkage I would guess.

EndersShadow

Tony, how many beers were involved in the creation of this story?

GlennDog

steveinaz wrote: »

Major shrinkage I would guess.

Now THAT is funny!

Tony, we've all done that, but twice in one day? That's funny, too

Put a lock box outside (like the ones REALTORS use) and it'll never be a a PITA again. Just say'n

G

Jhayman

Up here in North land I don't know anyone that has locking doors that lock behind you..
Only place I have seen that is Hotels up here..
I use a key to lock and unlock..
I can imagine your frustration of not knowing if you have memory condition or not..lol
Maybe you could get one if those bead bolts that gave a combination key code so that will never happen again unless you can't remember the code, lol
Anyway glad you back inside warm and you and the dog enjoyed the roast..

pitdogg2

Moose68Bash wrote: »

So, we now have a few keys hidden in strategic places for relatively easy access when the inevitable "LOCK OUT" happens.

I agree when my oldest was younger he had a key to unlock the house after school, well that is until he lost it about 5x.
Now I used to re-key locks handy thing to know if you ask me, but I couldn't keep doing it as the key blanks were getting pricey not to mention the wife kept well you that are married know OK. I went out and bought a Master key lock box little thing that you screw a key to and then it slides into the holder like a combination lock with steel ball bearing on each side and screws to the 2x4 stud. It's way to uncomfortable to put in a pocket so no worries there. So as long as he or anybody else remembers the code to the garage door they're good to go. Lucky me the one day I need to used that sum beach the darn kid leaves it on the kitchen table I'm double effed. Lets just say after he seen how mad I was he don't even go into the house before he locks it back into the holder..

I feel ya Tony.

BKphoto

i had to hide a key in the garage...the garage has a keypad so i cant lock myself out....did this same thing twice before hiding an extra...except i dont have a dog...my grandfather would have been quite proud of the manner in which i tossed f-bombs on those days...

Oldfatdogs

Tony,I have to ask.Was there drinking or smoking going on during your music-cooking session?
If not my man,you have CRS.Sorry no cure for it,happens to the best of us.
Your poor dog will be scared for life,or at least until the roast is gone.


Dan

westmassguy

Tony, you might want to consider better locks on the sliders, in combination with other locksets that don't lock behind you. If all you did the first time was give it a good yank, that should be addressed. As to Alzheimer's, it's called old age. We all get there. You're day was not your usual routine, so Murphy's Law was bound to kick in.

dkg999

That's why my house has electronic combination locks on the main doors! They are expensive, however with a teenage daughter ............. they are priceless!

tonyb

steveinaz wrote: »

Major shrinkage I would guess.

Got that right. Had to take a hot shower just to make sure the ol' boy was still functional.

Needless to say, the sliders are on the list to get replaced this spring anyway. My pride however, may take longer to re-coup.

Here's my list so far....

Fell off the garage roof onto asphalt driveway...resulted in a trip to emergency room with a seriously ankle sprang.
Walked into garage door...resulted in a huge bump, a good gash on the forehead, and a sore neck.
Car keys...lets not go there.
Looked around the house for 20 minutes for my pack of smokes....they were in my shirt pocket.
Chased flying squirrels around the house for a few days, and they got the best of me.
MRI...resulting in an arthritis diagnosis.
Lock myself out of the house....twice in 5 minutes.

Gents....just for the record, getting older sucks to high heaven.

soundfreak1

Its called a brain ****, or simply a senior moment. We all have that once in a while. Did that with my car once with it running! So have another beer and stay in the house!

westmassguy

We're better now, we're "seasoned". A little shake and bake, little tenderizing.

nooshinjohn

I didn't know you and PFB were brothers!!!

sucks2beme

My keys are in my pocket from the time I take the morning shower until I go to bed.
Reason- wife will lock the door behind me at all times. BOTH LOCKS. So I have to unlock the
deadbolt and the door handle to get back in. Go get the mail- the door will be locked by the
time I walk back. So I am always ready to be locked out, because that's the normal state of things.

Midnite Mick

Funny story. Good to know there are others out there.

DaveHo

Did that before. Dead of winter, wife is 100+ miles away in NYC. I'm wearing moccasins, boxers, & a T-shirt. Neighbors got a good laugh when I knocked on their door. Luckily I was able to get a hold of my MIL to let me in.

heartystatue

Great story, I was F bombing as I was reading this. Too damn funny. I too have been there and it aint funny when it's happening. Glad you can look back at it and laugh at yourself. Remember the garage keypad is your friend as long as you can remember the damn code.

4xoddic

This sounds like pretty normal behavior. My dogs would react in the same manner.

pitdogg2

I forgot what were we talking about again

Danny Tse

LOL Tony....

I actually did almost the same thing you did....except at 2AM. I was living at my former 2 story house with my mother, who has dementia. Locked myself out while letting the dog out to the backyard to do his business. Yup, in my sleepwear. Long story short, had to ring several neighbors' doorbells before getting a response....I guess no one will come to the door at 2 am. Finally able to call my mother and have her open the front door. I was half frozen by then.

teekay0007

tonyb wrote: »

We both had some Pork roast later, as I sat and pondered WTF is wrong with me....Alzheimer's or what ?

Sounds like a great day, Tony...from your dog's perspective. "Got to play fun games with the Pack Leader then we got Pork roast.....mmmmm!" )

Good news is it's not Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's patients don't have insight. They aren't aware of their dementia. Probably just a subdural hematoma....any good shots to the noggin in the past couple of weeks?

Anyhoo, just picturing this whole thing play out has been some good comic relief. Thanks!

Give the dog a nice pat on the head and a scratch behind the ears for me, would ya? "Good girl!"

tonyb

teekay0007 wrote: »

..any good shots to the noggin in the past couple of weeks?

LOL....Pal, I'm married to an Italian, shots to the head are an every day occurrence.

Do you think it would help if I switched out the iron frying pan for an aluminum one ?