What are some of the funniest song lyrics you've heard?

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  • mhardy6647
    mhardy6647 Posts: 28,265
    speaking of Satan :)




    So many wry ditties from those guys.
  • CGTIII
    CGTIII Posts: 798
    Can't leave out the late, great Victor Borge!
    Comedy in Music
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  • Viking64
    Viking64 Posts: 5,615
    Or Tom Lehrer, for that matter.
  • mhardy6647
    mhardy6647 Posts: 28,265
    Someone mentioned Jim Stafford earlier -- I always liked his characteristically askew take on the classic Wildwood Flower.

  • Viking64
    Viking64 Posts: 5,615
    I have only heard Jim Stafford's "Wildwood Weed" and "My Girl Bill" on Rhino's "Super Hits of the 70s" CD collection. But I vividly remember his "Spiders and Snakes".

    Please excuse the creepiness of the intro by creepy creeper Jimmy Savile.

  • txcoastal1
    txcoastal1 Posts: 11,901
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  • Mikey081057
    Mikey081057 Posts: 7,127
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  • pongshi
    pongshi Posts: 376
    Some people call me the space cowboy yeah
    Some call me the gangster of love
    Some people call me Maurice
    'Cause I speak of the pompitous of love

    What the heck is "pompitous." Evidently non one knows including Steve :smile:
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  • pongshi
    pongshi Posts: 376
    edited August 2018
    One More...


    Big Bottom

    The bigger the cushion, the sweeter the pushin'
    That's what I said
    The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand
    Or, so I've read.
    My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
    I love to sink her with my pink torpedo.

    Big bottom
    Big bottom
    Talk about bum cakes
    My gal's got 'em.
    Big bottom
    Drive me out of my mind.
    How can I leave this behind?

    I saw her on Monday, twas my lucky bun day
    You know what I mean.
    I love her each weekday, each velvety cheek day
    You know what I mean.
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  • voltz
    voltz Posts: 5,384
    The Tubes - Talk to Ya Later!

    I met her on a strip
    It was another lost weekend
    The band was too slick
    And the people were twisted
    So I asked her for a date
    She reluctantly agreed
    Then we went to my place
    And she never did leave

    She won't even miss me when she's gone
    And that's okay with me I'll cry later on

    It's been six months
    She hasn't shut up once
    I've tried to explain
    She's driving me insane

    She won't even miss me when she's gone
    And that's okay with me I'll cry later on

    Talk to ya later, don't want to hear it again tonight
    Talk to ya later, just save it for another guy
    Talk to ya later, don't want to hear it again tonight
    I'll just see you around

    Get out
    I'm telling you now
    Do you catch my drift
    What could be plainer than this
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  • dkfreebird
    dkfreebird Posts: 1,139
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  • Viking64
    Viking64 Posts: 5,615
    Hey Dave! When I first saw this thread, the two songs that immediately came to mind were "Boy Named Sue" by Johnny Cash and "The Winner" by Bobby Bare.

    It turns out that they were both written by Shel Silverstein, who had written a few songs for Dr. Hook, as well as many others.

    "The Winner" is about a guy in a bar that challenges a brawling legend to a fight. The lyrics are included with the video on YouTube. Here is one of my favorites:

    "He said now you see these bright white smilin' teeth you know they ain't my own
    Mine rolled away like Chicklets down the street in San Antone" :p

  • voltz
    voltz Posts: 5,384
    How about Jim Stafford "Your Bulldog drinks Champagne"


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  • Nightfall
    Nightfall Posts: 9,554
    edited September 2018
    Anything by Steel Panther.

    Edit: I was just watching some YouTube music videos of these guys because it's been a while and I feel like I should say don't watch any of them if you're easily offended. Especially the video that starts with the word Glory.
    afterburnt wrote: »
    They didn't speak a word of English, they were from South Carolina.

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  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 23,069
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  • agfrost
    agfrost Posts: 2,362
    Jay
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  • mrloren
    mrloren Posts: 2,391
    Scorpions to be #1
    When I was a kid my parents told me to turn it down. Now I'm an adult and my kids tell me to turn it down.

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  • mhardy6647
    mhardy6647 Posts: 28,265
    You know... this thread is a good excuse to mention that a Roger Miller tribute album recently came out. :)

    https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-album-reviews/roger-miller-tribute-kacey-musgraves-huey-lewis-718163/

    Miller was an extremely fast living songwriter/singer who wrote some good ones. His tongue was almost always lodged very firmly in his cheek, too -- at least metaphorically speaking. :)

    84vnlicv7kni.png



    This Dada-esque ditty was, according to his son, thus inspired:
    SIMON: So a song would come into his mind or a phrase?

    D. MILLER: You know, he would - he told me one story - I mean, I have a million of these stories - but with the song called "You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd," he was looking at magazines on an airplane, and there was an ad for Kodak film and it had a picture of a guy piggybacking a child and changing what were, at that time, the new cartridges into these film cameras. And the ad said, now you can change film with a kid on your back. And then my dad started the whole song backwards from that. You can't change film with a kid on your back, you can't roller skate in a buffalo herd, you can't take a shower in a parakeet cage.
    source:
    https://www.npr.org/2018/09/01/643921998/musicians-honor-roger-miller
  • Willow
    Willow Posts: 10,445
    geeksrider wrote: »

    That's not very funny. Who sings about that anyway?
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  • jdjohn
    jdjohn Posts: 2,181
    Loudon Wainwright III: Dead Skunk

    We listened to this as kids on a 45.
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  • halo
    halo Posts: 5,611
    TOOL, Invincible: "Caligula would grin"

    A lot of the Puscifer stuff is bizarre:
  • Mikey081057
    Mikey081057 Posts: 7,127
    My New Year's resolution is 3840 × 2160

    Family Room| Marantz AV7704| Usher Dancer Mini - 2 DMD Mains |Usher Dancer Mini-x DMD's Surrounds | Usher BE-616 DMD Center | SVS Ultra Rear Surrounds | Parasound Halo A21 | Parsound Halo A52+ | MIT Shotgun S3's | Dual SVS SB 4000 Ultras | Oppo UDP 203 | Directv Genie HD DVR | Samsung 75" Q8 QLED | PSAudio Stellar GCD | Mytek Brooklyn DAC+ | Lumin U1 Mini | HP Elite Slice PC | ROON'd for life |

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    Patio | Polk Atrium 8's | Yamaha R-N303BL |

    Office BlueSound Node| KEF LS50 | Peactree Nova 125SE |

    Bedroom | Focal 905's | Chromecast Audio |

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  • lunazul
    lunazul Posts: 773
    edited November 2019
    Offensive language (to some) alert
  • Frank Zappa, Joe’s garage acts 1-3
    Catholic girls, dong work for yuda! Ect, ect, 😂
  • Apparently the most offensive song currently - so much so that John Legend had to re-write the lyrics... double face-palm.

    Too much gear, too little time....
  • Political correctness is running rampant and getting worse🤮
  • We had some hilarious songs in my fraternity -- but I cannot put the lyrics on this thread! :)
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