J LoStas's New Moon review
Jstas
Posts: 14,842
This movie was horrendous. It was literally two and a half hours of "He loves me, he loves me not. No, I love you! No I love you too. Wait, no I as well love you! Yes but I'm no good and I'm no good for you so we can't be together. Yeah, same here! Oh, me? Oh, I'm gonna be sick. I can't live with out you! Me neither! Suck my blood, damnit! Only if you marry me! You can't marry him! Don't do it! I Love you but don't make me choose 'cause it'll be him."
GAH! Gag me with a spoon!
That was the entire movie.
There was alot of haf-nekkid-dude in it too and that wasn't exactly my cup of tea.
The only sane character is the Jacob kid and he gets slapped around like a carnival pimp. The Edward character is needlessly brooding and angsty with things faux chivalry thing going on. The girl goes through the entire movie like she's whacked out on bad acid. The only character with any life to him is the girl's dad. He actually smiles at one point and it's kind of refreshing. But for the most part, I want to stomp every single character in the movie. They were THAT annoying.
The only reasons to go see this movie are:
1. You are a girl and have been duped by the gussied up trashy romance novels called "Twilight"
B. You're a girl
Or you have a chance of getting laid by the girl you take to go see it. Be warned, you might be asked to suck things like blood or howl like a wolf. Do not be surprised if the names Jacob or Edward are screamed instead of yours. Unless your name is Jacob or Edward.
Otherwise, don't go see this movie. Don't wait for the DVD, don't make a blind buy, don't even rent it. Even if someone else is paying for it, you're still getting robbed. Even if you steal it online for free, the production house should reimburse you for the wasted bandwidth it took download this steaming pile of donkey crap.
See ya at the movies!
J LoStas
GAH! Gag me with a spoon!
That was the entire movie.
There was alot of haf-nekkid-dude in it too and that wasn't exactly my cup of tea.
The only sane character is the Jacob kid and he gets slapped around like a carnival pimp. The Edward character is needlessly brooding and angsty with things faux chivalry thing going on. The girl goes through the entire movie like she's whacked out on bad acid. The only character with any life to him is the girl's dad. He actually smiles at one point and it's kind of refreshing. But for the most part, I want to stomp every single character in the movie. They were THAT annoying.
The only reasons to go see this movie are:
1. You are a girl and have been duped by the gussied up trashy romance novels called "Twilight"
B. You're a girl
Or you have a chance of getting laid by the girl you take to go see it. Be warned, you might be asked to suck things like blood or howl like a wolf. Do not be surprised if the names Jacob or Edward are screamed instead of yours. Unless your name is Jacob or Edward.
Otherwise, don't go see this movie. Don't wait for the DVD, don't make a blind buy, don't even rent it. Even if someone else is paying for it, you're still getting robbed. Even if you steal it online for free, the production house should reimburse you for the wasted bandwidth it took download this steaming pile of donkey crap.
See ya at the movies!
J LoStas
Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
Post edited by Jstas on
Comments
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Awesome review, a movie not to watch added on the Not-to-Watch list.
I wonder what Le K's and LaCurtico's thoughts are if they have seen this film before.
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Jstas, i'm hoping you went because of the "OR" reason, and not 1 or 2? Otherwise my world will come crashing down.I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.
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So, based on your "reasons for seeing this", did it at least get you laid?
- LoBobman
EDIT : Actually, I think I'm going to go with Bob LoMan, just because it sounds like Lo Mein.If you will it, dude, it is no dream. -
I like rearranging OP's...
JLo Stas
Mmmmmmmm booty.
-Garcon Leceal Lo404I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.
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I thought it was J Lo posting...._________________________________________________
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SOPAThank God for different opinions. Imagine the world if we all wanted the same woman -
Mmmmm..... JelloI don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.
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_________________________________________________
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SOPAThank God for different opinions. Imagine the world if we all wanted the same woman -
I dunno Ricardo, she looks a little WAXY....If you will it, dude, it is no dream.
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kawizx, thanks for your thoughts!Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
bobm, LOL! Thanks for your thoughts, buddy! LOL!Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
Rica, please don't post your profane images in my thread! I've already notified Patrick of your transgressions. I just don't understand why you can't just leave me alone. Why do you always have to post such hate filled things in my threads?Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
Keik, buddy, what's with the hate mongering? I reported your post to Patrick as well.Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
conc, LOL! Good one! LOL!!!11Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
rica, please don't post your profane images in my thread! I've already notified patrick of your transgressions. I just don't understand why you can't just leave me alone. Why do you always have to post such hate filled things in my threads?keik, buddy, what's with the hate mongering? I reported your post to patrick as well.
rotflmao!!! -
aringim, thanks buddy! I appreciate the support! If we stick together, we can put an end to these hate mongers!Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
May i suggest that maybe you were displeased with the movie because you had your center channel jacked up +97.3db?I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.
Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii
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I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.
Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii
Desk: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / ISK HD9999
Office: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / Dynaco SCA-80Q / Paradigm Legend V.3
HT: Denon AVR-X3400H / Sony UBP-X700 / RT16 / CS350LS / RT7 / SVS PB1000 -
So should we now start a 6-page debate about how J LoStas doesn't own this thread, that he doesn't have to separately respond to everyone, and taht his reviews are too long? Or is that becoming too meta?If you will it, dude, it is no dream.
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Keiko... your last pic reminds me of a some kind of stone age fertility effigy wearing a corset. Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!I never had it like this where I grew up. But I send my kids here because the fact is you go to one of the best schools in the country: Rushmore. Now, for some of you it doesn't matter. You were born rich and you're going to stay rich. But here's my advice to the rest of you: Take dead aim on the rich boys. Get them in the crosshairs and take them down. Just remember, they can buy anything but they can't buy backbone. Don't let them forget it. Thank you.Herman Blume - Rushmore
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Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
bobman1235 wrote: »So should we now start a 6-page debate about how J LoStas doesn't own this thread, that he doesn't have to separately respond to everyone, and taht his reviews are too long? Or is that becoming too meta?
Sure, why not? I like poking fun at people with biggest stick I can find and it makes it even better when others play along!
But in all seriousness, don't see "Twilight: New Moon".Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
Silence! I will not tolerate your insolence!!! :mad:
You know, if it wasn't for that gigantic bubble of a butt, she'd be gorgeous! But I'm wondering of that wasn't photochopped on there.Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.
Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii
Desk: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / ISK HD9999
Office: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / Dynaco SCA-80Q / Paradigm Legend V.3
HT: Denon AVR-X3400H / Sony UBP-X700 / RT16 / CS350LS / RT7 / SVS PB1000 -
I wanna poke J Lo in the behind. Play along if you want to, but only after me.
Ewww! I don't want sloppy seconds!Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.
Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii
Desk: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / ISK HD9999
Office: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / Dynaco SCA-80Q / Paradigm Legend V.3
HT: Denon AVR-X3400H / Sony UBP-X700 / RT16 / CS350LS / RT7 / SVS PB1000 -
You all suck, just like this movie
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You all suck, just like this movie
We are no longer thankful for your thoughts, wizzer.I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.
Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii
Desk: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / ISK HD9999
Office: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / Dynaco SCA-80Q / Paradigm Legend V.3
HT: Denon AVR-X3400H / Sony UBP-X700 / RT16 / CS350LS / RT7 / SVS PB1000 -
Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
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