need support from my fellow members

raidersrule76

Well heres the skinny, my wife has decided to take some time apart,has rented a house in another town about 15 miles away and says that we need some time apart. First off let me start by saying that I in no way have been perfect over the last seven years but nothing that I think would suggest that things are not there best. I realize that she said that we can work on things but I just feel that this is the kiss of death, its her way of getting away from me to do some thinking and sorting things out with out me being in the house and when the time comes she will be in a better situation to leave for good. I hope this is not the case and we will be able to work things out, because I really do love her with all my heart and she says she still loves me but she dosent want to end up hating me. So what I am asking for is that you guys think of me from time to time and hope all the best for me I don't know what I will do without her.

Mark

Conradicles

Just prayed for you man. Hope all works out for the best. I've been in your situation and it is very tough, but hang in there.
Grace and Peace,
Eric.

Ron-P

Sorry to hear Mark and I do wish the best for both you guys.

cfrizz

Ask her to go to a marriage counselor with you. It show good faith & a real interest in saving the marraige. It is usually the woman that makes the offer. But if you make it, it will really show that you are serious about this marriage remaining intact.

Best of luck to you.

bobman1235

While it sounds like the kiss of death, I do know people who have survived rough times like these and came out the other side stronger than before, so don't give up hope. Best of luck.

sTiLlLeArNiNg

cfrizz wrote: »

Ask her to go to a marriage counselor with you. It show good faith & a real interest in saving the marraige. It is usually the woman that makes the offer. But if you make it, it will really show that you are serious about this marriage remaining intact.

Best of luck to you.

+1 sending some good vibe's your way

Pycroft

Best of luck...

My BFF is going through some hard times recently. He cheated on his wife...he has two kids, and they were going to spend some time apart. They decided to work through it together, and it's getting better...slowly, but surely. I wish you the best!

superjunior

hope all works out for the best

Serendipity

bobman1235 wrote: »

While it sounds like the kiss of death, I do know people who have survived rough times like these and came out the other side stronger than before, so don't give up hope. Best of luck.

+1

I hope everything works out well.

AudioGenics

rent the movie BRAINSTORM with Natalie Woods and Christopher Walken.

ask if your wife would just watch the movie with you,

there is a chapter where Natalie Woods sees their marriage
thru Christopher Walken's (MIND) point of view.

I wish and hope for you the best.......

Serendipity

See a marriage counselor.

bsoko2

Another bid for Marriage Counselor! Go with an open mind and don't be defensive about things that will come up. It takes hard work from both parties but in the end the trip is worth it. Open mind and don't be defensive.

Bill

Knucklehead

1 more vote for the marriage counselor....best of luck!

dkg999

+1 on the marriage counselor advice. Not sure how close you are to Ames IA, but Lutheran Social Services in Ames has some pretty good counselors and from the last I heard they were reasonably priced. If you both are serious, then a good counselor can help .......... but keep in mind that a bad counselor will really mess things up. It also takes two, no counselor no matter how good can compensate for one of the people being involved not being serious about resolving the issues.

Of course if all else fails, as one of my best friends will always advise ..... ain't nothing that $1500 and trip to the Bunny Ranch won't get out of your system.

Systems

I recommend getting a copy of the book The Love Dare.http://bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/

schwarcw

Good luck to the both of you. I hope that it all works out for the best.

Polkersince85

Sorry to hear of your troubles. Been there myself. My advice, the counselor is not going to work if she has decided to leave. You don't rent 15 fifteen miles away to work things out. Get a lawyer.

Conradicles

GV#27 wrote: »

I recommend getting a copy of the book The Love Dare.http://bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/

That is awesome!!!!!!:)

Retro152

Mark, wishin you both the best bro. Hope you can work it out.





Pat.

PSOVLSK

GV#27 wrote: »

I recommend getting a copy of the book The Love Dare.http://bhpublishinggroup.com/lovedare/

Agreed. Also, watch the movie Fireproof. It's a movie based on the book.

Best of luck to you.

4406bbl

Good luck.

comfortablycurt

cfrizz wrote: »

Ask her to go to a marriage counselor with you. It show good faith & a real interest in saving the marraige. It is usually the woman that makes the offer. But if you make it, it will really show that you are serious about this marriage remaining intact.

Best of luck to you.

+1

Good advice Cathy.



You'll be in my thoughts. I hope everything works out between you.

messiah

You CAN work this out man, and the counselor idea is the way to go.

wutadumsn23

Wish you luck man, i am going through the same thing, except I was the one "asked" to leave. Things aren't looking good on my end, but hopefully yours will turn out better. Besides, if 50% of marriages end in divorce and mine is heading that way, that means you could be the other half that is going to make it, right? LOL

-Jeff

Sherardp

Agreed with Cfrizz bro. Show that enthusiasm to make it work and you're in there. Prayers sent your way bro and hoping for the best with the fam man. I would also suggest a nice dinner date where you talk about mindless things, don't bring up the seperation but just show her a good time, a nice dinner and perhaps a bar afterward. Do some of the things you done to win her over in the beginning, that may really help.

TSWisla

I am sorry to hear about your situation. I will pray for you both. Realize though, that maybe YOU could use some of the time to yourself too. And like many people suggested, counseling may be the best thing for both of you. All the best (coming from a married man with 4 children),

Tom

woodhead 2

Try and work it out. My wife is dying of cancer, and she has maybe two weeks left to live. You still have a chance to be with her.

concealer404

Try to work it out. But make damn sure she's willing to work at it too. I feel your pain. I just got out of a longish relationship, and it didn't go nearly as well as what you're describing.

Best of luck.

reeltrouble1

I do send my hopes and prayers that the Lord will look down upon each of you and bless your marriage, I do agree though with your thinking, not good she wants to get a new place without you. It would seem the two of you certainly need someone to help each of you. I can say that people do have the capability within them to adapt to any situation.

Yes, I will think of you.

RT1

steveinaz

Usually with issues like this, you already know which way the outcome should swing. The problem is that most people don't want to be honest with themselves, wether for the good or bad. It's not always "someones" fault, it's just that we are different, and sometimes incompatible. I was married for 14yrs and divorced. I knew for many years that I loved my wife, but I didn't like her. I realized that she probably felt the same way. We had very different ideas about life, kids, family, etc. We were incompatible. Neither of us wanted to confront it though, because the thought of divorce was too painful. Eventually things erroded to a point where it was inevitable.

Now I'm married again, but this time I'm happy. I have found someone who shares many of my same values, and was a true friend before she was my significant other. It wasn't until this point, that I realized just how unhappy I was in my first marriage. I think the statement "Marriage takes hard work" is the biggest bunch of **** I've ever heard. If it takes alot of work, something is wrong.

Hopefully it swings in the direction you know to be best for both of you. The key to happiness is dealing in the truth of things; there are no short cuts, work arounds or quick fixes.

steveinaz

The truth of things is reality. Eventually things always come back to the truth, because we have to live in reality to be successful. This is why no matter how much we try to fool ourselves, we end up being the fool. You can't change what "is" and be truly successful at it.