The Happening *SPOILER*

kuntasensei

SPOILER!!!! Sorry for being a moron. Sincerely, Kuntasensei

































All the plants start to release toxins because they start seeing large groups of people as their enemy, and the toxins make people suicidal.

That's right... I just spoiled The Happening. You're welcome - I just saved you $9. Any of you who think I'm an a$$hole for that, if you see the movie you will understand that I was doing you a favor.

This is seriously the end of M. Night Shyamalan's theatrical career. We're talking a misstep of such monumental proportions that they should just yank his directing and writing privileges altogether. I felt bad for all involved, especially Mark Wahlberg, who does the best he can with the script they gave him... but ultimately just looks like he knows he's in the wrong damn movie.

Plus, they beat you over the head with a ham-fisted environmental message to such an extent that you feel like you're watching a propaganda film. Never in my life has a movie been so uniquely awful that people began openly mocking it and no one complained. By 30 minutes in, the entire theater was making funny comments, laughing at inappropriate moments... and hand to God, a guy in the back row climbed up and started making shadow puppets on the screen... and no one complained.

Avoid this movie like a syphilitic ****.

Toxis

wow, you seriously suck balls. Sure I hate M. Night Shittymovie but this actually looked good and with Wahlberg, it couldn't be too terrible. Well now I guess I don't have to. At least put spoiler in the title... damn.

Face

Toxis wrote: »

At least put spoiler in the title... damn.

I agree, that wasn't cool.

mrbigbluelight

Well .... I now know that I should also avoid syphilitic whores. I did not know that !


This movie must really be bad. I've heard a few people talk about it, and none of it has been positive.

I've thought Mark Wahlberg has been A++ ever since "Band of Brothers".
M. Night Shyamalan must think the same way, too, as he wrote the script with Mark Wahlberg in mind.

I guess I'll wait to rent it on DVD.

bobman1235

It hasn't been much of a critical success - only 20% on Rotten TOmatoes - but IMDb users have it at 6.2, so some people liked it.

Total dick move with the spoiler. I hope you get raped by an orangutan.

kuntasensei

Orangutan rape would be preferable to seeing this movie. I'm content that I have done you all a service by spoiling the movie for you. I have never spoiled a single movie in my life... but if I can save anyone from paying to see this, I must.

And for the record, DONNIE Wahlberg was in Band Of Brothers, not Mark, though both are good actors. But good actors delivering awful dialogue in a movie that telegraphs everything interesting about itself in the first act? All the acting chops in the world can't make that watchable.

Oh... and the guy in the trailer who gets his arms ripped off by lions? Worst bluescreen since James Bond riding that giant wave.

kuntasensei

Call me a moron all you want (which is childish and has no place in forum moderation, but I digress). Once you've seen this cinematic abortion, I guarantee you'll agree with me. Don't say I didn't try to warn you.

ND13

mrbigbluelight wrote: »

I've thought Mark Wahlberg has been A++ ever since "Band of Brothers".
M. Night Shyamalan must think the same way, too, as he wrote the script with Mark Wahlberg in mind.

I believe that was his brother, Donnie, in "BOB".

MacLeod

Great, another gem by this guy. How can you make such bad movies and keep getting signed to make more with bigger budgets??? I dont get it! This guy shouldnt be allowed to direct Ditech.com commercials.

obieone

F*ckin' tree huggers!!! I'm SOOOOO tired of Holy-wood's smugness. They can all ROT!

dholmes

Thanks everyone for warning us before we spend $$,Unbreakable,Signs & ofcourse Sixth Sense where great,liked the Village a little

Airplay355

I hate all of his movies. Remember Unbreakable? Geeze he just makes one **** movie after another.

kuntasensei

I loved Unbreakable. I think it's his best movie. But then, I enjoy the more quiet introspective view of superheroes he gave in it. Plus, you had great performances by all involved. I even really liked Signs. Since then, it has been a steady decline into crap.

In The Happening, I half-expected to see a suicide scene where Henry Winkler himself rides a motorcycle over a shark tank.

As far as the "tree-hugging" as Obie put it, the problem isn't that it's not an interesting concept. In the hands of a better, more subtle writer/director, it could have been turned into a good message film that also entertained. Sadly, what we got instead was the worst movie since Nicolas Cage in a bear suit in the remake of The Wicker Man.

obieone

I wish there was some sort of MAJOR backlash towards the movie industry, that resulted in them getting their heads out of their ASSES! We don't want to be PREACHED to!
We want to be ENTERTAINED! Stupid F*CKHEADS!!!

hockeyboy

6th sense and Unbreakable were great. Every other movie he has done were even worse than discount asian animal ****.

tecmo04

have no fear movie goers because south park will make fun of this movie soon enough! Anyone else remember the "Smug Alert" episode from driving hybrid cars?!?!

mrbigbluelight

dholmes wrote: »

Thanks everyone for warning us before we spend $$,Unbreakable,Signs & ofcourse Sixth Sense where great,liked the Village a little

Uh ........... "Unbreakable" sucked beyond all levels of human comprehension or understanding.

Other than that, it was a good movie.

obieone

tecmo04 wrote: »

have no fear movie goers because south park will make fun of this movie soon enough! Anyone else remember the "Smug Alert" episode from driving hybrid cars?!?!

BINGO!!!:D I love that show. Them and 'Family Guy' totally rip down pop culture. God Bless them

ohskigod

Just got back from seeing it.

honestly, it wasn't AS bad as Kuntasensei says, but he ain't coming out of left field either.

I think the global warming/killing the planet preachiness was there, if it wasn't for that, I really think this movie could have been better. Kunta called the little to no suspense aspect. I was yelling at the characters to do **** long before they did it.

ex. on the porch of that house people were in (saying to go away) kid starts kicking door, honestly, who DIDNT think that kid was getting plugged in the chest. If I was in that house, I would have plugged him the chest.

when people in a house telling you to f*(k off during a mass disaster, get the f*(k out of Dodge!!! At least, get off the dudes porch.

Then, the kid gets plugged and NO ONE RUNS? I'm a 6 ft tall 300 pound gorilla of a man, and a shot gun blast anywhere near me will make me run away shrieking like a schoolgirl getting stung by hornets.

lots of WTF are you doing A-hole! moments in this movie.

Then of course the news shows with people saying the planets pissed at us yada yada yada! stayed to see if Al Gore's name was in the credits, alas, it was not.

I go to the movies to be entertained, not to be preached to. thats not to say a movie along this line couldn't have been done without being preachy, it could have, and thats what pisses me off even more.

that said, there was entertainment value to it. wasn't a complete waste to me. IT had me at the whole people start doing weird **** thing, acting disoriented, losing there ability for self preservation, thus walking off buildings and walking into lion pits. it lost me at the people physically making more complex choices to kill themselves (picking up a gun and blowing your brains out, etc).

Honestly, first your disoriented, then your going to walk over to a large lawn tractor, start it on the first shot, make it run, turn the wheel to make an arc, then lay down in front of it in just the right place for it to run yourself over? CMON! I cant start MY OWN FU#(ING LAWN MOWER on the first shot, much less one I never laid eyes on, when I am 100 percent coherent!!!!!

for review, incoherent old lady walking repeatedly into wall, then smash windows with her face? fine, that I can see.

Guy slams on gas and runs into tree = I'll roll with it, no problem....believable (heck, I even giggled....sick **** I am)

guys set up ladders, climb up tree branches, tie perfect noose knots, place nooses around there necks WHILE ON A LADDER OR TREE BRANCH and then perfectly hang themselves as if they choreographed it? while barely able to walk and babbling like their alzheimers patients someone lost track of? your starting to lose me M Knight.

I mean why stop there?, have a babbling drooling mongoloid paint a ballet dancer with oil on canvas.....like a fu*king DEGAS!, then take the paintbrush and jam it into there eyeball! Hell, THAT would be infinitly more believable then the lawnmower suicide debacle.


boils down to a good story, with almost to little effort to do it right to me.

fireshoes

I didn't mind it that bad. Yes, they should have been running at first gunshot on the porch. The thing that bothered me most was that they kept introducing new characters and themselves shortly thereafter they were killing themselves. There wasn't enough time to start to care about them. It was just, "Oh well, he's dead." But I think the movie did a really good job of creating creepiness and tension. The bodies landing at the construction site was bothersome, along with the guy with the lawn mower. The old lady was scary beyond all reason! The ending left me "meh" though, but then that's not too surprising, given the writer.

ohskigod

fireshoes wrote: »

" But I think the movie did a really good job of creating creepiness and tension. The bodies landing at the construction site was bothersome, .

yeah, the construction sight to me was the height of it really, I mean there were stuff screamy parts later on (old lady screaming as Marky Mark was looking at the doll on the bed), but the construction sight scene was pretty much the best in the movie.

kuntasensei

See, to me, the old lady toward the end was basically like Tim Robbins' character in War Of The Worlds. It was just some random crazy person who seemed out of place within the structure of the rest of the movie, and really drew me out. She was scary... but she didn't fit in with the movie at all.

I agree that the construction site was the height of the movie... which is pretty crappy, considering it happens basically at the very beginning.

Did you notice that it was Dante from Clerks driving the jeep into the tree? The guy behind us said "I'm not even supposed to be here today!" and we cracked up.

Honestly, I think M. Night Shyamalan is a brilliant director. I think the problem is that he keeps wanting to direct his own stuff, which has increasingly become crap. Just once, I'd love to see the guy direct from a script that he didn't write. I think if you paired him up with a great story by a good scriptwriter, he could make a fantastic film. Until then, it seems like he is content making throwaway films like this.

jdhdiggs

I pretty much agree 100% with Lou's assessment. To me, had this been something "supernatural" rather than natural, it would have made for a better movie. When you are going to try to make a "Could that really happen?" movie, it needs to be at least somewhat plausible. Some examples that get you to the same point of people killing themselves:

1). First "attacks" just put people into coma's or psychotic rages
2). Attacks also affect other mammels
3). Have survivors every once in a while (What happened to the unaffected girl in the beginning and the guy at the end? Those would have been good stories)

As the movie continues, you could have the attacks be more targeted to humans and more complex in results. I just have a really hard time that mother nature could spontaneously generate the holy grail of chemical warfare right out of the chute. I mean, really, the only affect it has is to completely reverse the oldest and most basic instinct in life in only one species? Right out of the gates? Then it spontaneously happens 6,000 miles away... yeah, right...

Eff you M-night shittymovie, eff you! I hope you and Uwe Bull are forced to make a movie together- a suckfest soooo bad that it would end both of your careers.

wingnut4772

I mean why stop there?, have a babbling drooling mongoloid paint a ballet dancer with oil on canvas.....like a fu*king DEGAS!, then take the paintbrush and jam it into there eyeball! Hell, THAT would be infinitly more believable then the lawnmower suicide debacle.

That is the best thing I have read in a long time.

ohskigod

thanks, I'll be here all week....try the veal

kberg

I think it was the big oak tree in my front yard that put me into a botanically-induced trance and made me see this film, which could potentially kill anyone.

zombie boy 2000

Wow.... this movie is getting Gigli-esque reviews from nearly everyone.

bobman1235

The critical reviews are pretty bad, but the user reviews on IMDb are surprisingly high. 6.2/10 average (Gigli had a 2.3/10).

obieone

I was listening to a couple of d.j.'s talk about this movie this morning. Sounded like they were in the same theatre as the O.P. lmao!

KrazyMofo24

Well I did not think the movie was bad. Reading your guys comments I can't say I disagree I can see why some people would dislike or even hate the movie.

I don't think it was worth watching at the movies, but worth watching on DVD.

Music Joe

kuntasensei wrote: »

"Orangutan rape would be preferable to seeing this movie."

"I half-expected to see a suicide scene where Henry Winkler himself rides a motorcycle over a shark tank."

"worst movie since Nicolas Cage in a bear suit in the remake of The Wicker Man."

Those are great

The trailers and clips made me think M Night was shooting for Hitchcock's 'Birds' way before I read it in cyber-print. Another remake of 'that' is on the burner as well. Alfred casts a big shadow.