Southern Cliche's...add your own from wherever

Systems
Systems Posts: 14,873
edited March 2008 in The Clubhouse
The company I work for is located in Georgia, but is owned and operated by mostly folks who are transplanted from Wisconson. They have a hard time understanding me when I try and just have a conversation. Throw in a cliche' and they are sometimes dumbfounded.

I was recently asked to do a small yet time consuming change to a restaurant that required some serious and intricate work to a wall in order to move a door and a countertop. The wall behind the countertop and where the door was located is constructed of a quilted patterened stainless steel paneling. Water supply lines needed moving as well as electrical outlets. No problem for me to do but the trick was to do it all overnight in 1 night while the restaurant was closed. Ready to open the next morning and never able to tell we were there. I've done this type work numerous times. But never with the quilted stainless steel paneling. No room for errors and a **** to work with.

My reply to the request?

"Thats about as easy as sandpapering a Tiger's **** in a phonebooth".

After a long dramatic pause...............my project manager asked... "What does that mean?"

I said.."Sure..but it'll be a little difficult"
He says..."Why didn't you just say that?"
I said...."I did".





Feel free to add your own faves.......

Chuck
Testing
Testing
Testing
Post edited by Unknown User on
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Comments

  • RuSsMaN
    RuSsMaN Posts: 17,987
    edited February 2008
    "Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit"

    "I'd piss on a spark plug if I thought it would do any good"

    "He's as happy as a puppy with two peters"

    "He's as happy as a **** in the bouncy balls"

    "He's happier than Gomer Pyle with a wheelbarrow full of buttholes"

    "I'm as happy as a fat kid with a cupcake"
    Check your lips at the door woman. Shake your hips like battleships. Yeah, all the white girls trip when I sing at Sunday service.
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited February 2008
    "I'm out like a fat kid in a game dodge ball."

    "I'm all over it like flies on ****."
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  • nms
    nms Posts: 671
    edited February 2008
    "I'm all over it like **** on velcro"

    Not mine, but funny
    My system

    "The world is an ever evolving clusterf*ck." --treitz3
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  • skipf
    skipf Posts: 694
    edited February 2008
    "That's gooder than grits"
    "She's purtier than a speckled pup"
    "That's slicker than owl sh**".
    "It's rainin harder than a cow pi**in on a flat rock".
    "Twern't nuttin atall".
    "Come give Pappa some sugar."
    "He's more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full o rockers."
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  • polktiger
    polktiger Posts: 556
    edited February 2008
    Dat dog'll hunt. (That dog will hunt.)
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  • jflail2
    jflail2 Posts: 2,868
    edited February 2008
    My grandfather's response everytime someone wistfully used "If" (i.e.: if I just had 1 more day to get it done...)

    "If" my ****. If a hoppy toad had wings he wouldn't bump his **** on the ground now would he.

    "Inspirational" saying from my grandmother:

    Cain't never could, and couldn't wouldn't try.
    2007 Club Polk Football Pool Champ

    2010 Club Polk Fantasy Football Champ

    2011 Club Polk Football Pool Champ


    "It's like a koala bear crapped a rainbow in my brain!"
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  • Jstas
    Jstas Posts: 14,806
    edited February 2008
    "I'm off like a prom dress" is one that flies around here alot.

    So is "She's so ugly, she'd scare a hungry bulldog off the back of a meat truck!"
    Expert Moron Extraordinaire

    You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
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  • Bamadude
    Bamadude Posts: 245
    edited February 2008
    "getawnouttahea"

    My grandfather's favorite saying when a stray dog would come in the yard.
    AVR: Pioneer VSX-84TXSi (RIP - lightening) / Amp: Sunfire Cinema Grand / Klipsh R-10B Sounbar, LC65fx / Sub: Elemental Designs LT/1300 / TV: Panasonic TH-50PH9UK /SIZE]
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  • candyliquor35m
    candyliquor35m Posts: 2,267
    edited February 2008
    "If you can't run with the big daawgs, stay on the porch."
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  • Systems
    Systems Posts: 14,873
    edited February 2008
    ****while pointing out a rather LARGE woman****

    "tell her to haul **** and she'd have to make two trips with a wheelbarrow"
    Testing
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    Testing
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  • candyliquor35m
    candyliquor35m Posts: 2,267
    edited February 2008
    STOP

    Skip Town Opal's Pregnant
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  • Systems
    Systems Posts: 14,873
    edited February 2008
    "Tighter than Dick's Hat Band"

    triva...explain the meaning
    Testing
    Testing
    Testing
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  • candyliquor35m
    candyliquor35m Posts: 2,267
    edited February 2008
    We're cookin' with gas now.
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  • george daniel
    george daniel Posts: 12,096
    edited February 2008
    I ain't got no dog in this fight.
    JC approves....he told me so. (F-1 nut)
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  • Willow
    Willow Posts: 10,994
    edited February 2008
    sweatin' more than a hooker in church
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  • Polkitup2
    Polkitup2 Posts: 1,621
    edited February 2008
    From Minnesota:

    It's colder than a witch's ****
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  • Roy Munson
    Roy Munson Posts: 886
    edited February 2008
    Not a saying but I thought it was funny anyway.

    Alma Chizit

    Translation:
    >
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    How much is it?
    2 Channel:
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  • audiobliss
    audiobliss Posts: 12,518
    edited February 2008
    Now we're bangin' on all cylinders!

    It ain't about the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.
    George Grand wrote: »
    Jstas wrote: »
    Simple question. If you had a cool million bucks, what would you do with it?
    Wonder WTF happened to the rest of my money.
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  • nms
    nms Posts: 671
    edited February 2008
    "let's see if this old dog will hunt"

    A guy I worked with last summer referring to the moulding machine we were about to start up.
    My system

    "The world is an ever evolving clusterf*ck." --treitz3
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  • hoosier21
    hoosier21 Posts: 4,411
    edited February 2008
    colder than a well diggers ****

    fatter than a tic in a barrel of blood

    shithelldamn
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    Where is the remote? Where is the $%#$% remote!

    "I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like the most of us have...very hard to explain why you're mad, even if you're not mad..."
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  • nebborjk
    nebborjk Posts: 425
    edited February 2008
    Shaking like a cat sh!tting razor blades.
    Time to make like a baby and head out.
    Cryin' like a fat girl on prom night.
    ...and if a chicken had lips he could whistle.
    Proud SOPA Member since 2005!
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  • del44
    del44 Posts: 686
    edited February 2008
    When somethings really good. "Thats like a sore dick, ya can't beat it."
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  • obieone
    obieone Posts: 5,077
    edited February 2008
    'wicked pissah'= really good, Boston circa 60's-70's
    I refuse to argue with idiots, because people can't tell the DIFFERENCE!
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  • nms
    nms Posts: 671
    edited February 2008
    Let's make like a salad.... Lettuce depart :D
    My system

    "The world is an ever evolving clusterf*ck." --treitz3
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  • avguytx
    avguytx Posts: 1,628
    edited February 2008
    stereo_luver wrote: »
    "Tighter than Dick's Hat Band"

    triva...explain the meaning

    Damn, that was the EXACT phrase that came to mind for me! My grandfather used to say that on occasion when I was a kid and it took me till I was 15 to ask what it meant. I remember him explaining it to me and the laugh I got out of it. I have used that saying for years and people still have to ask what it means.

    Yep...I know that expression. :D
    Richard? Who's your favorite Little Rascal? Alfalfa? Or is it........................Spanky?.................................Sinner.
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  • BottomFeeder
    BottomFeeder Posts: 1,684
    edited February 2008
    "Stupid is as stupid does."
    "Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then." Bob Seger
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  • Systems
    Systems Posts: 14,873
    edited February 2008
    Many people THINK they know the origins ...originS of the phrase...there are really 2....spill the beans...and the correct explanation has nothing to do with the 3rd leg.

    "Tighter Than Dick's Hat Band"

    Chuck
    Testing
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    Testing
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  • avguytx
    avguytx Posts: 1,628
    edited February 2008
    Hmmm....now maybe I don't know as that's what both grandfather's used to say it meant. But it seems like I did hear that there were a couple of other meanings.
    Richard? Who's your favorite Little Rascal? Alfalfa? Or is it........................Spanky?.................................Sinner.
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  • dorokusai
    dorokusai Posts: 25,577
    edited February 2008
    "As dumb as a box of Hotwheelman's"
    CTC BBQ Amplifier, Sonic Frontiers Line3 Pre-Amplifier and Wadia 581 SACD player. Speakers? Always changing but for now, Mission Argonauts I picked up for $50 bucks, mint.
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  • Refefer
    Refefer Posts: 1,280
    edited February 2008
    Workin me like a dollar hooker.

    Tighter than the Pope's pooper.

    She could suck a golf ball through a garden hose :D
    Lovin that music year after year.

    Main 2 Channel System

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