Funny things you can do during a drug test....

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  • jflail2
    jflail2 Posts: 2,868
    edited February 2008
    BaggedLancer wrote: »

    jflail....I thought about doing #2 in the cup, and with the way my stomach has been lately it would be just about the right consistancy.

    :eek::eek::eek: Just don't shake any hands on the way out.
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  • jdhdiggs
    jdhdiggs Posts: 4,305
    edited February 2008
    Hmmm, let's see, if Bill had a misdemeaner for shoplifting and I was trying to decide if he was a good employee for my store, don't you think that I might disqualify him because of that past? What if he promises not to steal while at work, does that make it better?

    Same with drugs, if I can find out that a person is doing something illegal, it might make him a liability at my job even if he promises not to do drugs at work. How about the damage to the company based on an employees bad deeds outside work? You don't think the Falcons were hurt by Mike Vick's dog fighting conviction? Afterall, he was doing it on his own time... There are tons of examples like that...

    As the private business owner "owns" the job in question, they should be able to put the conditions for employment on that job, end of story. If you have a problem with that, seek employment elsewhere, it really is THAT simple...
    There is no genuine justice in any scheme of feeding and coddling the loafer whose only ponderable energies are devoted wholly to reproduction. Nine-tenths of the rights he bellows for are really privileges and he does nothing to deserve them. We not only acquired a vast population of morons, we have inculcated all morons, old or young, with the doctrine that the decent and industrious people of the country are bound to support them for all time.-Menkin
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  • Demiurge
    Demiurge Posts: 10,874
    edited February 2008
    pmckeealaska wrote: »
    The problem with these tests is that they cant test for whether or not someone is on drugs at the job. Most of these tests are looking for pot since it is fat soluble and stays in the body for much longer than other illegal substances. It's noones business what folks do in their own home. This is an invasion of privacy pure in simple until they come up with more time sensitive tests.

    You're not forced to work for your employer. There's no reason they shouldn't be able to hire whatever type of employee they want.

    Strip clubs aren't hiring fat chicks last I checked.
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  • Willow
    Willow Posts: 10,994
    edited February 2008
    But it's ok for employees to go on a drinking binge Sat night or heck Stupid Bowl Sunday and go to work the next day? pure BS...

    Any way, to throw them off ask them for the sample back one they are done tell them you do not want any of your DNA to get in the wrong hands...

    We had one lady ask that we return all her blood,saliva and urine once we tested it (insurance company I work for)...
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  • Demiurge
    Demiurge Posts: 10,874
    edited February 2008
    Why is it BS? I don't do drug testing here. I made that choice on my own, novel concept, I know. I don't have a big hang up if someone wants to smoke weed. It's their problem, but if If I can tell it's a problem that's affecting their work I'll fire them. If the guy across the street wants to drug test, why shouldn't he be allowed to?

    It's an invasion of absolutely nobodies privacy or rights. If you don't want to get a drug test get a job where they're not required.
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  • Willow
    Willow Posts: 10,994
    edited February 2008
    then why don't they test for booze.....that's all I'm saying booze is a drug...
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  • Face
    Face Posts: 14,340
    edited February 2008
    First off, booze is legal. Second, I deal with many lowlifes at work and can tell you, more people will steal to pay for drugs than alcohol.
    "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you." Friedrich Nietzsche
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  • Strong Bad
    Strong Bad Posts: 4,277
    edited February 2008
    Demiurge wrote: »
    Strip clubs aren't hiring fat chicks last I checked.


    Check again sir! Theres a club down the road from the one I work in called Sherry's Showbar (Baltimore boys, ya gotta know this one). It's more of a comedy bar than anything. All of the women resemble toothless Jabba the Hutt's. Some Batchelor parties usually stop in there first for a cheap beer and some laughs, then head up the road to ours.
    No excuses!
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  • Face
    Face Posts: 14,340
    edited February 2008
    I agree about the strip clubs. Come to Long Island and stick around at 4am when they turn the lights on. You'll never want to go to a strip joint again.
    "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you." Friedrich Nietzsche
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  • Demiurge
    Demiurge Posts: 10,874
    edited February 2008
    Willow wrote: »
    then why don't they test for booze.....that's all I'm saying booze is a drug...

    :confused:

    You're missing the point.

    Would you want a hospital to drug test their surgeons? Maybe stipulate that they not be allowed to drink? It's a private business and I think you, as a patient, would want a hospital to make sure their employees were "clean" (however they CHOOSE to define that) before they start snipping away in your chest.

    If they hospital is too strict the surgeons will work for another institution.
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  • Demiurge
    Demiurge Posts: 10,874
    edited February 2008
    Strong Bad wrote: »
    Check again sir! Theres a club down the road from the one I work in called Sherry's Showbar (Baltimore boys, ya gotta know this one). It's more of a comedy bar than anything. All of the women resemble toothless Jabba the Hutt's. Some Batchelor parties usually stop in there first for a cheap beer and some laughs, then head up the road to ours.

    I think you understand my point. ;) There's descrimination in what type of employees a company will or will not hire for purely economical reasons, and they should have that right.
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  • dorokusai
    dorokusai Posts: 25,577
    edited February 2008
    Take a big dump in the cup.
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited February 2008
    The test is over......the lady asked for half a cup and I gave her a full one to the point she asked me not to spill it when asked to place it on the counter.
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  • agfrost
    agfrost Posts: 2,425
    edited February 2008
    Careful who you "piss" off, BL!

    I can picture her, muttering obscenities under her breath, injecting some demerol or something into your masterpiece.

    :D:D

    Jay
    Jay
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  • BaggedLancer
    BaggedLancer Posts: 6,371
    edited February 2008
    agfrost wrote: »
    Careful who you "piss" off, BL!

    I can picture her, muttering obscenities under her breath, injecting some demerol or something into your masterpiece.

    :D:D

    Jay


    Nope, I watch them pour it the shipping container, put a label on it then I need to sign it saying it's my pee and no one elses. If that label gets broken the test is a failure.
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  • Willow
    Willow Posts: 10,994
    edited February 2008
    Demiurge wrote: »
    :confused:You're missing the point.

    No I get what you're saying. Some people should not be ingesting any form be it street or legal drugs or booze.

    All I am saying is if these people who are testing for drugs should , and I hope are testing for alcohol. Trust me last thing I want is the pilot of my flight to be doing rails and swinging back a bottle or two when I'm on my way to a sunny destination.
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  • petrym
    petrym Posts: 1,912
    edited February 2008
    Consume some Sea Dye Marker (example) It'll turn your urine into a fluorescent green glowstick-looking liquid that'll scare anyone that sees it. :D
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  • mrbigbluelight
    mrbigbluelight Posts: 9,675
    edited February 2008
    petrym wrote: »
    Consume some Sea Dye Marker (example) It'll turn your urine into a fluorescent green glowstick-looking liquid that'll scare anyone that sees it. :D

    Now that's the type of creative thinking we're looking for. :D

    Fill the cup, put the lid on, than back out of the restroom with a horrified look on your face ......... when the nurse asks you what's wrong, just look at her and mumble, "Oh, my God !!" .... and walk out.

    Of course, when they find that flourescent stuff in your urine sample, they'll know you're messing with them, but if you're going to get fired, go out with style.

    :rolleyes:
    Sal Palooza
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