Have your wife reasd this
hoosier21
Posts: 4,413
We always hear "The Rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
1 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
2 Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
3 Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
4 Saturdays = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
5 Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons why guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with it.
6 Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
7 Crying is blackmail.
8 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear about this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
9 We don't remember dates. Mark Birthdays and Anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
10 Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
11 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
12 Come to us with a problem only if you want help in solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
13 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
14 Check your oil! Please! 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
15 If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
16 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of them makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
17 Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, just do it yourself.
18 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
19 Christopher Columbus did not need directions. Neither do we.
20 The relationship is never going to be like it was during the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And stop whining to your girlfriends.
21 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example is a fruit, not a color. We have no idea what mauve is.
22 If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
23 We are not mind readers, and we never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care for you.
24 If we ask what is wrong and you say "Nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
25 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
26 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
27 Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you're prepared to discuss topics like navel lint, the offside rule or motor bikes.
28 You have enough clothes.
29 You have too many shoes.
30 NO, you really do have too many shoes.
31 It is in neither your interest or ours to take part in the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
32 BEER is as exciting to us as handbags are to you.
33 Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the sofatonight, but did you know we really don't mind, it's like camping.
34 I'm in shape. Round IS a shape.
1 Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
2 Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
3 Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
4 Saturdays = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
5 Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons why guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with it.
6 Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
7 Crying is blackmail.
8 Ask for what you want. Let us be clear about this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
9 We don't remember dates. Mark Birthdays and Anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
10 Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
11 Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
12 Come to us with a problem only if you want help in solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
13 A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
14 Check your oil! Please! 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
15 If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
16 If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of them makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
17 Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how best to do it, just do it yourself.
18 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
19 Christopher Columbus did not need directions. Neither do we.
20 The relationship is never going to be like it was during the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And stop whining to your girlfriends.
21 ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example is a fruit, not a color. We have no idea what mauve is.
22 If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
23 We are not mind readers, and we never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care for you.
24 If we ask what is wrong and you say "Nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying, but it's just not worth the hassle.
25 If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
26 When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
27 Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you're prepared to discuss topics like navel lint, the offside rule or motor bikes.
28 You have enough clothes.
29 You have too many shoes.
30 NO, you really do have too many shoes.
31 It is in neither your interest or ours to take part in the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
32 BEER is as exciting to us as handbags are to you.
33 Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the sofatonight, but did you know we really don't mind, it's like camping.
34 I'm in shape. Round IS a shape.
Dodd - Battery Preamp
Monarchy Audio SE100 Delux - mono power amps
Sony DVP-NS999ES - SACD player
ADS 1230 - Polk SDA 2B
DIY Stereo Subwoofer towers w/(4) 12 drivers each
Crown K1 - Subwoofer amp
Outlaw ICBM - crossover
Beringher BFD - sub eq
Where is the remote? Where is the $%#$% remote!
"I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like the most of us have...very hard to explain why you're mad, even if you're not mad..."
Monarchy Audio SE100 Delux - mono power amps
Sony DVP-NS999ES - SACD player
ADS 1230 - Polk SDA 2B
DIY Stereo Subwoofer towers w/(4) 12 drivers each
Crown K1 - Subwoofer amp
Outlaw ICBM - crossover
Beringher BFD - sub eq
Where is the remote? Where is the $%#$% remote!
"I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like the most of us have...very hard to explain why you're mad, even if you're not mad..."
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
Comments
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It's great...true facts...cool Hoosier...
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That was a good read...LOLI'm gonna print this one and give it 2 her...Dan
My personal quest is to save to world of bad audio, one thread at a time. -
wait...wrap it up and put under the tree...no rush.
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Dateline Polkville
Home Theater Installer brutally beaten to death with Chinese made amplifier by enraged wife!
The killing was blamed on "Sick Guy Humor!" Dan (AKA Mantis) was found hanging from a video projection unit in his soon to be completed Home Theater by his testicles on the day after Christmas. His wife was originally charged with the crime but was freed after the local female police chief stated that the crime was completely understandable and justified.
Funeral services are planned for multiple saturdays through out the Collage Bowl season. Mr. Mantis will be buried in a Mauve suit, and interened in a Peach casket. -
Perfect Frank... Effin funny stuff!
I'm drinking today as soon as I get OUT of this damn office!
HBomb will be doing his Rooster imitation then Jesse Owens after he prints off this thread.***WAREMTAE***
