WAF Management
Early B.
Posts: 7,900
OK, fellas --
Give me your experience and pearls of wisdom on effective WAF (wife acceptance factor) management. Share your tales, triumphs, and heartbreaks here. How do you encourage your spouse to support your audio hobby?
I'll start: I began by buying equipment that looked pretty so my wife wouldn't nag me. Then one time I sold some speakers she liked ('cause they were pretty), and I caught hell for it. But I replaced them with better sounding speakers. She noticed the improvement, so now I could use the "it's gonna sound better" excuse every time I upgraded. Then I sold the tube gear and she got pissed again ('cause it was pretty). Then I finally "manned up" and bought what I wanted regardless of aesthetics and I didn't hear a word from her. And I said to myself, I should have done that from the beginning. So here are a few of my own WAF management guidelines:
1. Make executive decisions. Buy what you want. Period. Your spouse has her hobbies and you don't 'eff with her about it, so that's fair.
2. NEVER share how much you actually spend. I'm not suggesting that you keep secrets, but she doesn't tell you how much money she spends on her shoes, so that's fair. Set up a separate, personal account for your audio purchases.
3. Beat your wife home from work on audio delivery days and set up the equipment before she gets home. Most of the time she won't even notice you got some new stuff. If she notices, always tell her it was inexpensive or you sold the old stuff to pay for the new stuff.
4. Make sure you have your wife's favorite CD(s) on hand and play them for her periodically. Tell her you like it, too, even though it sounds like ****.
5. For large purchases, throw a very subtle hint or two beforehand that you are considering purchasing a new amp, for example. When the amp arrives and she questions you, remind her that you mentioned it.
6. Show some support of her hobbies, even if you couldn't give a rat's ****.
7. NEVER buy your wife off with a gift just to placate her about your huge audio expenditures. It's a set up and you're gonna pay dearly for it for the rest of your life.
8. If your spouse ever says, "I can't hear the difference, so why are you wasting your money?" Your response should be: "Well, I can't tell the difference between the eight pairs of black pumps you own, so I guess there's a lot about the opposite sex that neither of us will ever quite understand."
9. Get yourself some decent audiophile friends. Women like it when their husbands aren't hanging around with their typical, pot-bellied, loser friends who constantly drink all of the beer, curse too much, and **** incessantly.
10. Get your children involved in the hobby. There's nothing like "daddy time" that makes your wife shed a quiet tear when no one is looking.
Please feel free to edit or add to this list.
Thanks.
Give me your experience and pearls of wisdom on effective WAF (wife acceptance factor) management. Share your tales, triumphs, and heartbreaks here. How do you encourage your spouse to support your audio hobby?
I'll start: I began by buying equipment that looked pretty so my wife wouldn't nag me. Then one time I sold some speakers she liked ('cause they were pretty), and I caught hell for it. But I replaced them with better sounding speakers. She noticed the improvement, so now I could use the "it's gonna sound better" excuse every time I upgraded. Then I sold the tube gear and she got pissed again ('cause it was pretty). Then I finally "manned up" and bought what I wanted regardless of aesthetics and I didn't hear a word from her. And I said to myself, I should have done that from the beginning. So here are a few of my own WAF management guidelines:
1. Make executive decisions. Buy what you want. Period. Your spouse has her hobbies and you don't 'eff with her about it, so that's fair.
2. NEVER share how much you actually spend. I'm not suggesting that you keep secrets, but she doesn't tell you how much money she spends on her shoes, so that's fair. Set up a separate, personal account for your audio purchases.
3. Beat your wife home from work on audio delivery days and set up the equipment before she gets home. Most of the time she won't even notice you got some new stuff. If she notices, always tell her it was inexpensive or you sold the old stuff to pay for the new stuff.
4. Make sure you have your wife's favorite CD(s) on hand and play them for her periodically. Tell her you like it, too, even though it sounds like ****.
5. For large purchases, throw a very subtle hint or two beforehand that you are considering purchasing a new amp, for example. When the amp arrives and she questions you, remind her that you mentioned it.
6. Show some support of her hobbies, even if you couldn't give a rat's ****.
7. NEVER buy your wife off with a gift just to placate her about your huge audio expenditures. It's a set up and you're gonna pay dearly for it for the rest of your life.
8. If your spouse ever says, "I can't hear the difference, so why are you wasting your money?" Your response should be: "Well, I can't tell the difference between the eight pairs of black pumps you own, so I guess there's a lot about the opposite sex that neither of us will ever quite understand."
9. Get yourself some decent audiophile friends. Women like it when their husbands aren't hanging around with their typical, pot-bellied, loser friends who constantly drink all of the beer, curse too much, and **** incessantly.
10. Get your children involved in the hobby. There's nothing like "daddy time" that makes your wife shed a quiet tear when no one is looking.
Please feel free to edit or add to this list.
Thanks.
HT/2-channel Rig: Sony 50 LCD TV; Toshiba HD-A2 DVD player; Emotiva LMC-1 pre/pro; Rogue Audio M-120 monoblocks (modded); Placette RVC; Emotiva LPA-1 amp; Bada HD-22 tube CDP (modded); VMPS Tower II SE (fronts); DIY Clearwave Dynamic 4CC (center); Wharfedale Opus Tri-Surrounds (rear); and VMPS 215 sub
"God grooves with tubes."
"God grooves with tubes."
Post edited by Early B. on
Comments
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That is a pretty complete list, with a ton of good advice.
However I would have to argue a little with number 2. I hate it when she tries to sugar coat the price of a pair of shoes or purse.
Other than that....Well done!HT
Mits WD-65737, DirecTV, Oppo DV-970HD, XBOX ONE, Yamaha RX-A1030, Parasound Halo A23, Rotel RB-985, Music Hall MMF-7, Parasound PPH-100, LSi-15, LSi-C, LSi-FX, LSi-7, PSW-1000, Monster HTS2600
2 CH
Parasound Halo P3, Parasound Halo A21, Sutherland Ph.D, VPI Classic 3 w/ 3D arm & Soundsmith Aida Cartridge, Arcam CD72T, B&W 802 S3, Monster HTS2500, -
here is my observation
see my wife with 2 black eyes, it's because she did not listen the first time, it's my house
ok ok no replies how I am a wife beater, just a jokeDodd - Battery Preamp
Monarchy Audio SE100 Delux - mono power amps
Sony DVP-NS999ES - SACD player
ADS 1230 - Polk SDA 2B
DIY Stereo Subwoofer towers w/(4) 12 drivers each
Crown K1 - Subwoofer amp
Outlaw ICBM - crossover
Beringher BFD - sub eq
Where is the remote? Where is the $%#$% remote!
"I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like the most of us have...very hard to explain why you're mad, even if you're not mad..." -
here is my observation
see my wife with 2 black eyes, it's because she did not listen the first time, it's my house
ok ok no replies how I am a wife beater, just a joke
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA You're crazy!!! -
Very well put EB. I agree with all but the not telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I buy too much **** to even make a white lie or two in that there are too many to remember.
One thing that doesn't work with my wife is that she doesn't remember squat anyway so even when I tell her the day before I receive something it is like a big surprise to her.
I gotta add one thing. I needed to find out what my wife loved most and feed that to her. . . it is the casino, she loves the casino. Now what better come back to her bitching about something I have vs something that she doesn't. . . get it!!!! -
I married a New York girl. I think her response would be" you have to go to sleep sometime".:D
I've tried all the above. I still get a ton of trouble over upgrades.
My only real plan is to space them out to keep the fights to a minimum."The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods, or no god. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." --Thomas Jefferson -
sucks2beme wrote: »I married a New York girl. I think her response would be" you have to go to sleep sometime".:D
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I know that tone of voice too!!! LOL -
8. If your spouse ever says, "I can't hear the difference, so why are you wasting your money?" Your response should be: "Well, I can't tell the difference between the eight pairs of black pumps you own, so I guess there's a lot about the opposite sex that neither of us will ever quite understand."
9. Get yourself some decent audiophile friends. Women like it when their husbands aren't hanging around with their typical, pot-bellied, loser friends who constantly drink all of the beer, curse too much, and **** incessantly. Thanks.
Ha ha ha.. yeah you just go ahead and tell your wife you can't see any difference in the 8 pair of black shoes she owns..and you'll be sleeping on the couch for a few days.
Hey now.... #9 hits to close to home for me.. the only thing saving me.. is I am an audiophile snob + I got beer = instant audiophile friends.
PolkFest 2012, who's going>?
Vancouver, Canada Sept 30th, 2012 - Madonna concert :cheesygrin: -
Very simple. I buy her and my son what they need and usually want. When it comes to purchasing new gear, I involve her in the decision process. I always get the same response, "You know more about that than I do". I play music and DVD's that she likes. I ask her if she can tell the difference. And I add one more element. If she cannot tell the difference then I will sell it. I always tell her that.
As well, I NEVER sacrifice anything that my family wants. There needs come FIRST.
Besides, one key ingredient. I married my best friend from university and we both trust each other 110%++. Relationships work on trust and compromise.
This year alone:
MIT Shotgun S1 bi-wired cables
Proac Response 2.5's
Music Fidelity Tri-Vista 21 DAC
Panasonic 50" Plasma
2CH Audio Stand
Centre Channel Stand
CD's....
I rest my case. Go read Carnegies book, How To Win Friends And Influence People.Michael
In the beginning, all knowledge was new!
NORTH of 60° -
I say Amen to #3. I just made everything real pretty around the HT so that worked out just fine.Sharp Elite 70
Anthem D2V 3D
Parasound 5250
Parasound HCA 1000 A
Parasound HCA 1000
Oppo BDP 95
Von Schweikert VR4 Jr R/L Fronts
Von Schweikert LCR 4 Center
Totem Mask Surrounds X4
Hsu ULS-15 Quad Drive Subwoofers
Sony PS3
Squeezebox Touch
Polk Atrium 7s on the patio just to keep my foot in the door. -
A comic once said, never piss off your woman because they have the ultimate power; the power to close Disney Land. No more magic mountains...:(
Besides the prenup agreement, not much we can do.
The way I go about it is, she knows that I do not have that many hobbies and I do not spend money frivolously. Since I get my gear mostly used, I get away with it because she enjoys it also. I plan on building the ultimate man cave. I basically let her have the rest of the house. Besides, I don't give a crap about the other rooms.
v -
EarlyB, Dude.........I would do that, but she likes to listen to Paula Abdule, Rush, Rush............... just............... can't................ bring............... myself............... to................. listen:eek: That's the only time I want to turn my system OFF.Early B. wrote:4. Make sure you have your wife's favorite CD(s) on hand and play them for her periodically. Tell her you like it, too, even though it sounds like ****.
At least she doesn't like Vanilla Ice! All others should be man law, especially #10.
That describes all of my audiophile friends, so that won't work.Early B. wrote:9. Get yourself some decent audiophile friends. Women like it when their husbands aren't hanging around with their typical, pot-bellied, loser friends who constantly drink all of the beer, curse too much, and **** incessantly. ~ In search of accurate reproduction of music. Real sound is my reference and while perfection may not be attainable? If I chase it, I might just catch excellence. ~ -
I do a variation of #5. Although I stretch it out a bit and supplement it with screensaver pics and "great deals" on Audiogon that I show her from time to time. I am currently in 12 month subwoofer upgrade mode.:D
patience, patienceThe Flea rig
Hitachi 50VG825 LCD
Rotel RSP 1066 (pre)
-flea market
B&K St-202 (mains)-flea market
Carver M 200t (x2) (center and surrounds)-flea market
Blu-Ray..PS3 (dvd player)
Polk RTA-11t-flea market
LsiC, Fxi30's
Dual SVS PC-Utra's (1 port blocked) thanks MikeC78
Behringer Feedback Destroyer-flea market
AudioAlchemy DDE v1.0 DAC-flea market
Cambridge Audio Azur 640 CDP-flea market
Signal Cable and Kimber Kable -
What do you do when she says, "No" to your proposed audio upgrade?HT/2-channel Rig: Sony 50 LCD TV; Toshiba HD-A2 DVD player; Emotiva LMC-1 pre/pro; Rogue Audio M-120 monoblocks (modded); Placette RVC; Emotiva LPA-1 amp; Bada HD-22 tube CDP (modded); VMPS Tower II SE (fronts); DIY Clearwave Dynamic 4CC (center); Wharfedale Opus Tri-Surrounds (rear); and VMPS 215 sub
"God grooves with tubes." -
What do you do when she says, "No" to your proposed audio upgrade?
Sneak it in the back door! And be real quiet. She'll never know!!:rolleyes:"2 Channel & 11.2 HT "Two Channel:Magnepan LRSSchiit Audio Freya S - SS preConsonance Ref 50 - Tube preParasound HALO A21+ 2 channel ampBluesound NODE 2i streameriFi NEO iDSD DAC Oppo BDP-93KEF KC62 sub Home Theater:Full blown 11.2 set up. -
I'll let you know when that happens;)The Flea rig
Hitachi 50VG825 LCD
Rotel RSP 1066 (pre)-flea market
B&K St-202 (mains)-flea market
Carver M 200t (x2) (center and surrounds)-flea market
Blu-Ray..PS3 (dvd player)
Polk RTA-11t-flea market
LsiC, Fxi30's
Dual SVS PC-Utra's (1 port blocked) thanks MikeC78
Behringer Feedback Destroyer-flea market
AudioAlchemy DDE v1.0 DAC-flea market
Cambridge Audio Azur 640 CDP-flea market
Signal Cable and Kimber Kable -
What do you do when she says, "No" to your proposed audio upgrade?
That's when I go right out and but it. I don't like being told "no"Michael
Samsung 50" HD DLP
Yamaha RX-V2500
(2) Outlaw 200
Adcom GFA 555
Sony BDP300
Denon 2900 DVD
Lsi9's mains
Lsi7's rear
Lsic center
12.1 SVS driver in 4.53 cuft. tube
Harmony 880 -
pearsall001 wrote: »Sneak it in the back door! And be real quiet. She'll never know!!:rolleyes:
Uhm .........
Sal Palooza -
Me: Hey Woman! I'm gonna buy some new gear and if you say one word about it I'm gonna invite a bunch drunks from the forum to come over a get sloshed! GOT IT!!
Her: Listen up nickel-dick! How many times I gotta tell ya...no one wants to see your cheap-assed Radio Shack 8-track player and cheesey Lava Lamps. Get yer bitchass back in the kitchen and make me some effin pie! -
Me: Hey Woman! I'm gonna buy some new gear and if you say one word about it I'm gonna invite a bunch drunks from the forum to come over a get sloshed! GOT IT!!
Her: Listen up nickel-dick! How many times I gotta tell ya...no one wants to see your cheap-assed Radio Shack 8-track player and cheesey Lava Lamps. Get yer bitchass back in the kitchen and make me some effin pie!
LOL, I invite The Tone Rangers over for leverage, never seems to work though.
v -
Me: Hey Woman! I'm gonna buy some new gear and if you say one word about it I'm gonna invite a bunch drunks from the forum to come over a get sloshed! GOT IT!!
Her: Listen up nickel-dick! How many times I gotta tell ya...no one wants to see your cheap-assed Radio Shack 8-track player and cheesey Lava Lamps. Get yer bitchass back in the kitchen and make me some effin pie!
ROTFLMAO!!!! nickel-dick WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -
Any self respecting woman if they seen my music room would instantly **** her bloomers. and turn around and walk out of my house instantly without a word and never look back lol.:D :eek:
Never mind trying to cajole or sneak in more components.
REGARDS SNOWWell, I just pulled off the impossible by doing a double-blind comparison all by myself, purely by virtue of the fact that I completely and stupidly forgot what I did last. I guess that getting old does have its advantages after all -
Any self respecting woman if they seen my music room would instantly **** her bloomers. and turn around and walk out of my house instantly without a word and never look back lol.:D :eek:
Never mind trying to cajole or sneak in more components.
REGARDS SNOW
My wife really is into it with me but she does break my agots about how messy I keep the room. I keep telling her that it is an organized mess but that don't work!!!! LOL -
Well considering that at last count I have 23 pairs of speakers of varying sizes. Some of these are currently in various states of repair. 4 subwoofers. various odd amps, receivers tuners, dvd players. miles of speaker wires, interconnects, soldering guns, and other assorted related items. I will never get a chance for a woman to say NO MORE lol. They will as I mentioned earlier turn around without a word and leave. Or perhaps she might say something like you need HELP! before walking away. Lmaoooooohearingimpared wrote: »My wife really is into it with me but she does break my agots about how messy I keep the room. I keep telling her that it is an organized mess but that don't work!!!! LOL
REGARDS SNOWWell, I just pulled off the impossible by doing a double-blind comparison all by myself, purely by virtue of the fact that I completely and stupidly forgot what I did last. I guess that getting old does have its advantages after all -
What do you do when she says, "No" to your proposed audio upgrade?
refer to rule #3.Sharp Elite 70
Anthem D2V 3D
Parasound 5250
Parasound HCA 1000 A
Parasound HCA 1000
Oppo BDP 95
Von Schweikert VR4 Jr R/L Fronts
Von Schweikert LCR 4 Center
Totem Mask Surrounds X4
Hsu ULS-15 Quad Drive Subwoofers
Sony PS3
Squeezebox Touch
Polk Atrium 7s on the patio just to keep my foot in the door. -
Submitted for your approval...
11. Organize. Cable management. Put away the boxes.
She already sees the equipment. If she sees the boxes, too, that's like double the inventory in her mind. She'll go ballistic. -
wingnut4772 wrote: »refer to rule #3.
Funny thing about rule number 3 which I have always practiced, I had my latest purchased CDP set-up for about a month and a half and my oldest son came home for the weekend and asked, "when did dad get this"? My boys have always been inquisitive at the wrong times.David -
I guess I don't get the whole WAF thing, that's never really been a problem for me. Here's my list.
1 - Don't spend money that you don't have. Buying a new amp while a utility bill runs lates (even maybe just a few days) is a bad idea, and shows your wife that you're willing to place your hobby above higher priorities. Doing this even once or twice can plant that seed in her brain, and that's going to be difficult to uproot. In my opinion, once you've done that, you've increased the difficulty of every audio purchase until that trust is rebuilt.
2 - Don't spend money that you shouldn't spend. Just bacause you have a few franklins burning a hole in your pocket doesn't mean they have to be spent on audio. Putting money into savings or into another hobby or vacation illustrates the fact that audio isn't the only thing important to you, and that you're not 'obsessed'.
3 - Support her hobbies as well, both financially and personally.
4 - Get her involved in home auddio. Those of you that have met me have also met my wife. I've been out to see Russ and Sami several times to purchase something, and I take her along. She went with me to the audio show this weekend and had a good time - she had almost as much fun as I did.
5 - Always be truthful about what you're getting and how much it costs. if I feel like I have to lie about or hide a purchase because of the cost involved, then I really shouldn't be buying it in the first place. If I'm not comfortable telling her about it, then I don't need to spend the money on it.
6 - Be reasonable. An old pair of beat up SDAs (no matter how good they sound) probably don't belong in the living room with all the nice Scandinavian furniture. You don't necessarily need to have the exact same wood and finish on your components as your furniture, but just being reasonable will most of the time avoid conflicts.
7 - Finally......it really helps if you have someone like Russ living close and can get over to his house while he's got alot of 'inventory in stock'. This way when you get home and she sees all your stuff, you always have the "well at least I don't have 1/100th of the stuff that Russ has" card in your back pocket. -
Do all steps and proceed directly to court.engtaz
I love how music can brighten up a bad day. -
3. Beat your wife
I stopped reading here. Perfect advice. I see it's worked for Hoosier... :eek:There is no genuine justice in any scheme of feeding and coddling the loafer whose only ponderable energies are devoted wholly to reproduction. Nine-tenths of the rights he bellows for are really privileges and he does nothing to deserve them. We not only acquired a vast population of morons, we have inculcated all morons, old or young, with the doctrine that the decent and industrious people of the country are bound to support them for all time.-Menkin -
If she complains about my audio purchases, which she doesn't since she acknowledges it's my money (her words), I'll just say she ain't getting any. That makes her very co-operative.
(we'll see what happens today as I might be bringing home some SDA's)
