Wife Advice: Get her to quit her job...
Comments
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jdhdiggs wrote:Dave:
That's the thing, if she was an enviromentalist (it's an environmental company) or someone who really dug her job, it would be one thing. She only does it because it "uses" her degree, but despises working there.
It's not fair for you to listen to constant bitching about a job neither of you need financially, that she doesn't like, and that she also won't quit.
The options seem to be find a new job, quit and be a mother, or just plain stop complaining about the current situation. That's the only way to make things right.
Maybe the thought of having kids is freaking her out.
Just throwing ideas into the pool, you know better what's going on than anyone else. I wouldn't sweat it.
I personally stay away from career women myself. Those women who are completely devoted to their jobs, and who really don't have time for marriage or kids. I don't see the point in getting married if you don't aim to have kids. -
Nah, her goals in life are:
#1 Be a mother
#2 Be a teacher
Just had some friends visit with their month old and her comments were "I can totally see myself spending all of my time with a baby". I seriously doubt she's a "career girl".
Anyway, when she gets back from Jersey tomorrow night, we'll work it out.There is no genuine justice in any scheme of feeding and coddling the loafer whose only ponderable energies are devoted wholly to reproduction. Nine-tenths of the rights he bellows for are really privileges and he does nothing to deserve them. We not only acquired a vast population of morons, we have inculcated all morons, old or young, with the doctrine that the decent and industrious people of the country are bound to support them for all time.-Menkin -
jdhdiggs wrote:Nah, her goals in life are:
#1 Be a mother
#2 Be a teacher
Just had some friends visit with their month old and her comments were "I can totally see myself spending all of my time with a baby". I seriously doubt she's a "career girl".
Anyway, when she gets back from Jersey tomorrow night, we'll work it out.
Hmm, let me try to rephrase it. She may be freaked out about childbirth, the whole 9-yards. Not the idea of raising a child. -
If #2 really is being a teacher, then she really does have to go back to school now. In another life, I taught science to junior high schoolers. Certification in california takes a year of post graduate and a lot of that time is spent traveling to schools to do practice teaching with a mentor. A masters and certificate takes two years. And the first year or two of actual solo teaching is a living hell as you literally have no time between prep work, teaching, grading, and planning new classes.
It's going to be very difficult to do all this once you actually have children. Here's a thought, go down to the local university, get an application, fill out everything except for the signature, essays, etc., take her out to dinner, and pull out a nicely wrapped box with the application inside, with a card for finally reaching for her dream or something like that...
I know, still cheesy, but sometimes, cheesy works...;) -
I agree 100% about her staying at her job because of the people! IS SHE CRAZY? Hasn't she learned yet that if she dropped dead tomorrow, those same people will get along just fine without her!
Cheddar, you sound like a great Dad! And your idea about the application is BRILLIANT!!! It will then be put up or shut up time!Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2 -
As per the previous disclaimer: "I don't know either you or your wife":
Her constant complaining about her job might be an attempt to build up her position with you, ie, "Man, this job is tough, and I'm one tough cookie doing important stuff, just like you !".
That's not meant to be harsh.
It sounds, though, that she doesn't NEED for anything, that if worse came to worse she wouldn't have to do anything to get by (trust, your salary, etc).
So to perform at a "meaningless" job is really no different than being the head brain surgeon at the Mayo Clinic: she doesn't "have" to do either, so one is no different than the other.
So she may choose the "no-brainer", "autopilot" job, build up its (and her) importance in her mind's eye, and feel that she is really accomplishing something.
I'd approach it from the view that she has many talents, most of which are going to waste. That by staying at her present job, she is, in all reality, being selfish.
We're all given gifts and the Big Guy Upstairs expects us to use them
Let her know that there are people out there (future students ?) who can benefit from her talents/skills.
And if she insists on keeping her present job, and can't get away for vacation ?
Well.... I don't know about Panama, Columbia, Spain, France, Italy, but I'm up for Germany. Maybe Russia. Japan would be nice. Sal Palooza -
James, listen up, and listen good.
Don't ever try to limit her, or her independence. Period. Support her goals and dreams. It's that simple. She needs self worth and value, as do we all.
More often times than not, the other half is just looking for someone to listen, a sounding board. Don't be Mr. Fix It, with a solution for everything she has to say.
Listen.
Cheers,
RussCheck your lips at the door woman. Shake your hips like battleships. Yeah, all the white girls trip when I sing at Sunday service. -
Don't be Mr. Fix It, with a solution for everything she has to say.
Words of wisdom!!!Political Correctness'.........defined
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk -
jdhdiggs wrote:(Told you, Michael Scott is a genius compared to this moron)
Maybe there is a "Jim" there that she has a crush on.
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This is also totally true!:D Sometimes we just need to vent, & since you are her husband...YOU'RE IT!!!:D We don't expect you to fix it, we just want you to listen & commiserate.
However, there are limits to this IMO.:)F1nut wrote:Words of wisdom!!!RuSsMaN wrote:Don't be Mr. Fix It, with a solution for everything she has to say.Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2 -
PolkThug wrote:Maybe there is a "Jim" there that she has a crush on.
Waa haa... Definately NOT... Let's see, there's a grizzly adams, a Wally clone (Dilbert), and two computer geeks that barely speak comprehensible English and the tool manager who looks like Howie Mandel circa 1993.There is no genuine justice in any scheme of feeding and coddling the loafer whose only ponderable energies are devoted wholly to reproduction. Nine-tenths of the rights he bellows for are really privileges and he does nothing to deserve them. We not only acquired a vast population of morons, we have inculcated all morons, old or young, with the doctrine that the decent and industrious people of the country are bound to support them for all time.-Menkin -
Snort...gurgle...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!:D
jdhdiggs wrote:Waa haa... Definately NOT... Let's see, there's a grizzly adams, a Wally clone (Dilbert), and two computer geeks that barely speak comprehensible English and the tool manager who looks like Howie Mandel circa 1993.Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2 -
There is always the possibility that her other interest may, in fact, be a gal.
