Something For Their Asses

DarqueKnight

A couple of weeks ago I started noticing bird crap and feathers at my front door. A typical feather is shown in picture #1. To be considerate, I will not display a picture of the more noxious evidence of the bird's "visits". Closer inspection revealed that the capstone above the doorway was being used as a morning rest stop by some of the local birds.:mad:

I hosed off all the encrusted crap, scrubbed the area with bleach and sprayed all around with strong insecticide. This worked for a couple of weeks as I saw no sign of the birds...until this morning. I thought the birds would have had sense enough to stay away once I gave them a stern warning. I guess they really like that spot. It is an ideal perch.

This time, I decided to use a mechanical solution rather a chemical one: A layer of 2" and 1" brass wood screws secured to the capstone with liquid nails. It is shown in picture #2. Hopefully, when they stop by for their daily **** fest tomorrow morning, they will get the message that the welcome mat has been rolled up. If this does not work, the alternative shown in picture #3 will certainly achieve the desired result.

I was a little concerned about how the screws would look above the front doorway, but since the the capstone is 10 feet up, you really don't notice it. You can't even see the capstone as you are approching the front porch because it is obscured by a chandelier hanging from the 16 foot porch ceiling.

dorokusai

I would have wrangled them with my lasso.

Strong Bad

LMAO, hilarious!

schwarcw

Your home made solution should work. I've seen professional solutions that were very similar. I think you can get some coyote piss at Gander Mountain. The smell of a predator will also scare them away.

DarqueKnight

We'll see if the birds are laughing come potty time tomorrow morning.

DarqueKnight

schwarcw wrote:

I think you can get some coyote piss at Gander Mountain. The smell of a predator will also scare them away.

They also sell it at Home Depot. I read where insecticide repels them also, so I decided to use stuff I already had rather than spend $$$. Besides, chemical repellants require reapplications, and that area is not easily accessible (without a ladder). I was hoping my first "heads up" would permanently chase them away. Seems these guys are kind of hard-headed. I hope they enjoy their new perch decorations.

I-SIG

At at house I lived a coupel of years ago, we had some pigeons that were so totally clueless. They had managed to try to build a nest. I probably destroyed like a dozen nests, broke a half dozen eggs that were laid on top of homemade spike strips and fishing line. Once I decided I was moving, I said screw it. I assume they managed to reproduce eventually!

Wes

DarqueKnight

Well, if these fine feathered friends don't get this message, we'll see how easy it is to reproduce after they are loaded up with lead shot.

Maurice

I had the very same problem over my front door a couple years ago. I bought a nice BB gun and let a few pigeons have it. After that, it took about a year before any pigeons came near my place. Hell, the rifle was so accurate I was poppin birds 2-3 houses away.:cool:

ohskigod

I laughed my arse off at the pic with the nails. effin brilliant. I think that will get the job done, without the smell of urine of wild animals

organ

Ouch!

hearingimpared

Since we are sharing bird **** stories, I figured I chime in.

There is an air conditioner mounted in the wall of the front room in the house. We use the room for storage. Apparently, those feathered rats, pigeons, were nesting on top of the air conditioner and pooping on top of and inside of the air conditioner unbeknown to us. My son and I picked up a new couch that we were planning to store in that front room. When we arrived, I turned the air conditioner on while we carried the couch into the room.

My son and I left and went to a local deli for some hoagies. My wife was in the living room. After about 15 minutes, my son and I drove up and saw smoke billowing from the front of the house and all the neighbors, my wife & my dog were crowded across the street and fire engines were racing up the street. I ran inside to make sure the electricity to the air conditioner powered off. The firefighters put out the blaze and pulled all the capping off the area around the air conditioner.

To make a long story short, the insurance company determined that between the sticks from the pigeon’s nest and all the ****, it shorted out the compressor and started burning. See pictures I just took for the damage.

DarqueKnight

When I went outside this morning, I saw a couple of feathers, but nothing else. I assume those feathers were scraped off as they were coming in for a landing and suddenly realized there had been some changes to their decor.

hearingimpared

No ****!

danger boy

hearingimpared wrote:

There is an air conditioner mounted in the wall of the front room in the house. We use the room for storage. Apparently, those feathered rats, pigeons, were nesting on top of the air conditioner and pooping on top of and inside of the air conditioner unbeknown to us.

To make a long story short, the insurance company determined that between the sticks from the pigeon’s nest and all the ****, it shorted out the compressor and started burning. See pictures I just took for the damage.

feathered rats? damn.. can they fly too?

in the fire.. did it cook any pigeons?

hearingimpared

Rats are better they can't **** on your head!:eek:

michael_w

That should work. They use strips of coathanger sized wire spikes in similar areas at a place I used to work and I never saw any birds.

Careful if you whip out the bb gun though. My dad's boss shot a crow that kept invading his backyard and from then on the crows would dive at him. It took about a year before they stopped trying to attack him

hearingimpared

Alfred Hitchcock directed it.

John in MA

If you leave the dead around the nesting area they'll get the message. Although your house might take on a "Lord of the Flies" appearance.

Holydoc

We place plastic statues of Owls perched around here. It keeps the pigeons and the seagulls from coming near the docks. You can purchase the owls at your local sporting goods shop.

hearingimpared

The Penquin wrote:

fine feathered friends

Quote to Batman & Robin, 1967.:D

mrbigbluelight

Holydoc wrote:

We place plastic statues of Owls perched around here. It keeps the pigeons and the seagulls from coming near the docks. You can purchase the owls at your local sporting goods shop.

...or you could just shoot a couple of owls and just duct tape their carcasses in the area. :rolleyes:

DarqueKnight

This morning, only the feathers from yesterday morning were at my door. I guess they didnt even bother to stop by this morning.

DarqueKnight

Holydoc wrote:

We place plastic statues of Owls perched around here. It keeps the pigeons and the seagulls from coming near the docks. You can purchase the owls at your local sporting goods shop.

My first thought was to use a "scare away" statue. I decided against using a statue because I read reports that sometimes birds will start perching on the statue once they figure out that it isnt real.

DarqueKnight

For over a week there was no bird crap until last Monday (10/23/06) I saw a little bit on the brick step at my front door. I also saw a few feathers on the doormat, so I know it was my old friends, or at least the same type birds.

I thought to myself, "You know what? These guys really like my front door. They probably just want to be friends".

Although it wouldn't be practical to invite them in, the least I could do was to leave them a little refreshment on the doorstep (see pic below). I prepared a delicious snack of fresh crumbled saltine crackers with my special blend of "seasonings". I was not sure if birds would like the seasonings I added, but I had it on good authority that rodents find the smell and taste of the seasonings very appealing.

I think the birds did like the snack. When I set it out Monday morning, the crackers were in a pile in the middle of the paper. When I looked on Tuesday morning, the crackers are fewer in number and a couple of holes had been torn in the paper. The birds were probably so overjoyed at finding a free meal that they started fighting over crumbs, hence, the torn paper.

I haven't seen any additional bird **** or feathers since Monday. I hope they come back to finish the snack. I hate to see good food go to waste.

I'm such a gracious host.:)

RuSsMaN

Watch the neighborhood pets (cats) and children bro, crackers on the ground like that is leaving the door wide open for a law suit.

Cheers,
Russ

DarqueKnight

You make a good point.

Most people around here diligently adhere to the city's strict leash laws for pets. As for kids, well, if they are old enough to walk around the neighborhood unsupervised, I would hope that they are also old enough to know better than to eat things they find lying on the ground or on someone's doorstep.

I would also think that cats and other carnivores would find crackers unpalatable.

Homeowners here are allowed to use chemical pest control measures (baits) on their property.

hearingimpared

How about using a mouse/rat trap?, that should wake them up and cover the law suit issue at the same time.

exalted512

get a small tar pit and scatter some crumbs in it...
-Cody

DarqueKnight

Using a rat trap, or any other type of trap, might only injure or maim the birds. If such methods did result in their death, it would probably be a slow and painful one. I am not interested in causing them to suffer. I wouldn't even mind if they wanted to roost on my porch for the winter....if they were able to do so WITHOUT leaving piles of crap at my door. Since it is not reasonable to expect them to "visit" without leaving evidence of their stay, I just want them to leave.

The "seasoning" I left should have taken them out rather quickly. Then the vultures can come and clean up the remains.

I did have some concern about the squirrels picking up the bait, but I never see squirrels in the front yard and there is really no reason for them to come to the front. There are plenty of trees and things to eat in my back yard. Plus, they get a big kick out of running along the tops of the fences between houses and antagonizing the neighborhood dogs.

BlueMDPicker

exalted512 wrote:

get a small tar pit and scatter some crumbs in it...
-Cody

Same principal here, sans crumbs:

http://www.birdxcanada.com/roost/bird_proof_gel.html