Anyone go "crazy" after getting married? This is serious.

Mazeroth

I've been with my wife since we were 17 years old. We dated for over eight years and have been living together for the past two years, and loving it. Back in December we finally tied the knot and I wasn't nervous at all. We had a very small wedding and dinner afterward and are just now going to take our honeymoon.

Well, about a week before we tied the knot I had a panic attack, something I've never experienced before in my life. I had no idea it was a panic attack until the day after our wedding I had another one driving back home and a third one that night before going to bed. I haven't had one since then, but I've dug myself into a deep hole since then.

I'm sure our significant other does things all the time that annoys us. Before getting married I never paid attention to it and would just blow it off, because no one's perfect. Well, for about a month after getting married any little thing she would do that would annoy me would drive me absolutely insane! I let it affect me so much I started having major anxiety, something I've never, ever experienced in my life. Once I figured out what I had done to myself I found myself on the ground, crying my eyes out begging God to forgive me for being such an ****. I talked to my Mom, who has went through two depressions in her life, and I bawled on the phone to her for 30-45mins for a few days in a row. That helped a lot. At that time I felt majorly chemically inbalanced, and she said I should see my doctor to try Prozac or some other SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor). She said taking something like that would help me get over the hump, and once I did, I would be on my way to recovery. Well, my doctor prescribed me something "better" than Prozac, which is Effexor. I took one around 4pm and that was the worst night of my life. I woke up around midnight with a zapping, tingling feeling in the back of my head, down my arms and into my hands. I couldn't sleep at all, and felt like utter ****. I seriously thought how much it would take for me to take another one of those pills, and I don't think I would do it for $1000, no joke.

Anywho, ever since then I went to a counselor twice and the second time she said I was doing a lot better, which I was, and she thought I would be fine and to keep on doing what I was doing. I was reading books on how to control negative thoughts, how to be more positive, how to worry less (I worry too much), how to eat a diet that promotes good mental health, everything.

After about two months of that I am feeling a LOT better, but I still get fits of anxiety for NO reason. I'll be at work and all of a sudden my pulse will jump up to 120+ BPM, I will get all tingly feeling, the works. I have been excercising a lot more, since a lot of people say a good way to beat anxiety is to be more physically active.

I really think what could have attributed to all of this, and my mother agrees, is that I got a new job six months before the wedding, I had just signed up for college classes to finish my degree, the weather was getting bad (in Ohio it's cold, tons of cloud coverage = a sunny day is a real surprise in the winter), and I was about to get married, which is a very stressful thing. The thing that's crazy is I was NEVER, EVER worried, scared, axxious about getting married. I've been with this woman for over eight years and love her to death. I had nothing to be worried about.

Well, the reason I'm writing this is two days ago I was feeling almost back to normal, but since we're closing in on our honeymoon I started getting SERIOUSLY anxious. So bad I had to take a 0.25mg Atavan (Lorazepam), which is a narcotic the doctor didn't want to prescribe to me, but I begged him to. My mother gave me one a few months back when I was in horrible shape and it worked great. She's an RN and takes them rarely, but always has them on hand. Ever since I got my prescription filled I've taken two, which is almost two months. Ok, back to the paragraph's topic! It's like I'm almost scared to go on the vacation (Florida). It feels like anything that's different or I'm not used to is scary, which taking a 9 day trip would be. I KNOW deep down inside this trip is probably exactly what I need, but I can't help but be anxious about it.

I can't believe I got myself feeling this down but I have. This is, by far, the worst thing I've ever had to experience in my life. I've lost close relatives, pets, almost my brother in a car accident, almost my father, and not to sound "selfish", but this is the worst of them all. I really think me beating myself up over "analyzing" my wife, thinking this is the woman I have to spend the rest of my life with and she annoys me this way, that way, etc..., has really, really beaten me up. At one point, about two months ago, I was almost scared to come home and see her because if she did something to annoy me it would drive me insane. That's freaking sad, but true. For the last two months I've gotten 95% better about it, but since the anxiety is back because of the trip, I've noticed myself doing it again, which is absolutely ridiculous.

I'm sorry this was so long, but I felt I needed to get it out and try to get some support from you guys if you've been through something like this in your life.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

EDIT: Some other things I should probably mention. For the first month or so I had pretty much no appetite. I would have to drink plenty of water with my food because my mouth wasn't creating enough saliva when I was eating. I dropped from 155lb to 147lb (I'm 5'10) in that time, but since then I've been eating normal. Also, my wife is very good looking. When we started dating she was 125lb, 5'3, and very athletic. Over the last 8 years she's a lot less active, weighs 145lb, and that really bugs me. She gets mad that she's gaining weight, but every time I see her eating chocolate or stuff she shouldn't, she'll get defensive. That does drive me nuts. One more thing. The new job I have has me working 2nd shift, while she's on first. I think this could be a major problem and I've been talking with my boss to get me moved to first, but that could take a while. Before my new job I worked on first, so I would come home and see her. We would spend a lot more time together, go grocery shopping, play tennis, bike ride, roller blade, had a lot more you know what. Now when I see her she's SUPER excited to see me and wants to spend a ton of time with me, especially on the weekends. Well, guys, you know how we are. We are happy to see our wives, but we don't jump up and down, run over to our significant other, give them a huge hug and drown them in kisses. Yes, my wife does this, and ever since the marriage, yep, it annoys me, when it should tickle me to death. I feel like such an ****, and if I could I would go back 3 months and kick my own **** for putting myself into this rut, but I can't.

Again, thanks for reading. It took a lot for me to post this, but I know you guys like family and know your support system is top notch. I love you guys.

polksda

While I cannot say I've gone throught the same thing (I'm afraid I'm afflicted with a case of terminal bachelorhood ), I have several friends that have gone through similar symptoms. You've obviously heard people say "It was all great until we got married." I think there is truth to that for some couples. For some it's no big change, just a natural progression of the relationship. For others though, it's akin to a calamitous event. It changes everything. Why? I think that subconsciously some people feel the pressure and obligation that a marrital "agreement" and everything it implies is far too much. You feel trapped. When you were just "a couple" there was always an out even though you probably never needed it or wanted it. By officially "tying the knot" you feel your options are eliminated.

Sorry if that sounds callous or harsh, but I think that different people react to the "M Word" differently, depending on their previous relationships, family upbringing, etc.

Believe it or not, marriage isn't for everyone.

What has your counselor said after the most recent episodes? More importantly, how is your fiancee reacting?

EDIT: Sorry, saw that you added more information... Was your wife "clingy" before the marriage or is this a new thing. I know that can drive some people nuts...

Demiurge

I've got no advice for you on the relationship front, but I would suggest you don't rely on medicines to fix these problems. I have a friend with some similar stuff and he would swing from medicine to medicine, feel a little better, and then things would crash and burn again. I think medicine can be helpful, but I am a firm believer that you can learn to control these things on your own. There's usually a source to it all.

Have you tried talking to your wife about it? It might be best to work through it with her.

Anyhow, good luck with this, and have a good time on your honeymoon. Try not to worry about stuff and just go with it. I know it's hard to do sometimes, but give it a shot!

polksda

Demiurge wrote:

I've got no advice for you on the relationship front, but I would suggest you don't rely on medicines to fix these problems.

Seconded. Counseling and direct communication with the missus is a better route, IMHO.

Mazeroth

Yeah, I did not like what the Effexor did to me and there's no way I was going through that again. The Atavan is there for me just in case I get really bad. I've only taken two in almost two months, and in no way do I want to rely on them, or take them ever again unless I feel it's absolutely necessary. Pills are just band-aids, and you need to get to the root cause in order to fix it.

I have talked to my wife about it, as kindly as I could, and she does understand. She's still happier than a pig in crap that we're married, and I really wish I felt the same way. I know she's the one for me; we have so much in common and for the last eight years we were practically tied at the waist, but ever since I gave the "I DO" I've felt like crap. Our wedding night was FANTASTIC, don't get me wrong. Probably the best night of my life. After that, it went downhill.

Early B.

Learn yoga and meditation. It's the best way to help relieve stress.

BTW, if you and your wife have been living together for the past two years, you've been "married" for that time. I'll bet you huys were functioning just like a maaried couple instead of roommates. The actual marriage is merely a legal arrangement and does not change anything at all in your relationship. Perhaps somewhere in your upbringing you developed an aversion to "marriage" and it is manifesting on a physical plane. So the first step is to deal with the immediate physical issues, then identify the cause. Once you know what caused it, you're halfway home.

audiobliss

I certainly have absolutely no clue as to what's going on, but I will be sincerely praying for you and that this will work itself out in short order.

brettw22

Wow......I'm sorry to hear all this goin on for you for what should be the happier times of life. The feelings of not wanting to be around your sig other shouldn't be over this quickly, but perhaps you had all those feelings/thoughts/emotions throughout the previous 8 years.

Definitely, bar none, the best thing you can do it keep up the communication levels with your wife. If you're doing individual therapy, you should certainly bring in the wife for a few so you can keep her involved in all that's going on and work through it together. The issues you're going through might be primarily dealing with you, but she is involved so keep her in the loop.

MrNightly

Maz,

I'm no expert here, but I have been married for three years. First off, my prayers for you that it will work out... having said that, I firmly believe that our future is often directed by our choices...

My wife and I seriously fought (Physically, mentally, emotionally) for the first 2 years. We flat out stressed over everything. I regreted getting married, and wanted out. I think that most men, if totally honest, will agree that Cold Feet is a fact of life. You aren't alone in those thoughts. But here's the deal: we had agreed to stick it out, and that there wouldn't be a back-door to our relationship. That in itself made us straighten up, talk thru the problems, and get help.

Are you Both going to counciling? Highly recommend it. We paid for over 16 weeks of sessions, and it proved a worthy investment. Open communication is the #1 make or break in a relationship. You have to talk to her. Yell, Cry, Scream, just tell her what you are feeling. She needs to be able to do the same for you.

I have to agree, with my medical background as well, that Med's can become very very dangerous. Don't rely solely on them, if you can help it!!!

I think you have taken a huge step in confronting your issue, and looking it straight in the eye. Don't try to hide it, or disguise it. You have to see it clearly, to seek a solution.

Regarding 2nd and 3rd shifts, they play a HUGE role in our attitudes about life and marriage. If possible, get back on the same shift. That way, you won't feel so stressed to "HAVE TO SPEND TIME WITH HER" when you get home, and will still have time to yourself. I was a total crank on 3rd shift for 2 years. Got back on days, and life wasn't so stressful.

Keep us posted. And think of this trip to Florida as a chance to relax and escape your daily routine... talk about whatever, and just take a vacation! Heck, vacations are hard to come by for some of us folks... enjoy it man!

Frank Z

Buyers remorse. Not making fun of the way you're feeling, but that's the only term that really works. I worked with a guy that was ready to throw in the towel after a few weeks of marriage and they had been dating each other for years before tying the knot.

I felt really stressed for the first few months of my marriage as well. Our life together got off to a very rocky start. We both had issues that we had to deal with and getting laid off not long after getting married didn't help things either.

Don't give up on your wife, yourself, or your marriage. You'll get through the rough times and look back and wonder what all the fuss was about.

As far as the touchy-feely hangin' all over you....good gawd man enjoy it. There will come a day when it might slow down or disappear completely and you'll miss it. Sure we all need "Guy-Time" that's what cars, tools, and HT/Audio are for KnuckleHead!!;)

Last, and certainly not least...communicate. Yeah I know, sounds lame, but if you love the woman you need to man-up and talk to her about EVERYTHING. Doesn't make any sense to hold back. Tell her what's rolling around in that noggin of yours, she just might be able to help cure what ailes ya.

I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but I gotta tell ya that opening a medicine bottle ain't gonna help in the long run. No offense intended for those of you that fill the little bottles.:D

Dennis Gardner

Panic and anxiety don't usually happen when your stressed out. They usually happen when you least expect it and relax from months of handling stress. Sort of an aftershock from the stress we live with daily. Now that you've experienced them though, your mind will always be laying in waiting for the next episode and that in itself causes more stress.

Understanding how to deal with the panic and anxiety is key to living with it. There isn't a cure to what our minds put us through only dealing with it.

This book has really helped those I run into with the disorder to understand what most of them feel is the most helpless feeling anyone can experience. My wife and our middle son live with the affliction and we deal with it openly to help each other.
Don't let the issues you are dealing with stop you from living a full life and giving all of yourself to your loving spouse. Enjoy your vacation!!!!

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/isbnInquiry.asp?z=y&isbn=0060927585&itm=1

ohskigod

I was in the same boat, dating my wife since 17, 9 years later we were married. We did not live together before we were married though, I heard that living together before marriage makes things worse, which makes no sence, but it seems to be true.

Marriage is a new step in your life. Bigger than most realize. I'll say my first year with the wifey was tough (for both of us). it allways is dude.

then had some other stuff happen in my life that got me pretty down, I was in a funk I couldnt shake. This is going to sound silly, but I took some internet tests about depression and they all said the same thing, I was depressed. It made no sence to me. good job, I'm not rich, but I'm comfy. own 2 houses (live in one, rent the other). I'm in a position life wize others would kill for, yet I couldnt shake the down feeling.

I did some research and found that depression can be linked to a serious vitamin B defiency. SOunds silly dont it? dont laugh, I started taking a B complex daily, along with a multi vitamin. Did it make me feel perfect? hell no, we never will by the way. But I felt ALOT better. the crushing lows I felt were much more manageable after a week or 2.

worth a shot. just know alot of what your going through seems to be related to your life changing. marriage is a change no matter how you slice it. its a big step, and that step, like other stressors in life, is going to f*ck with people in different ways.

you have to focus on not sweating the small ****. Maybe some serious stuff that happenned in my life helps me do that better than others, I dont know.

Wife packin on a few?, dude ALL wifes pack on a few. 20lbs? you lucky ****, i've seen worse Take this advise, harping on it will yield you NO positive results. You'd be lucky as hell to keep the negative results to something less than catastrophic. I'm serious, if you listen to nothing else, LEAVE IT ALONE!!!

you need to ask yourself some simple questions; do you love your wife? How much? would you kill for her? die for her?. Luckily for me, all the answers are yes. only you know the answers in your situation. of course, the more yes's, the better. if the answers are no, you have some serious thinking to do.

Its all about perspective. Look at some unlucky **** (you know some, think hard) really imagine yourself in there shoes, how unbearable it would be. then you look at your life, not so bad eh? everyone's got problems. perfect marriage? doesnt exist. I worry more when me and the wife never argue then when we get in the occational spat

one more thing. a very wise man gave me a great piece of advice. "Never let the sun set on your anger" long story short, it means dont let anger or an argument with the wife last longer than the day. dont go to bed without hashing the argument out. Yell, scream, drive away for a while (i've done it all) but hug eachother and have the argument done before you go to bed. My personal record was 2 in the morning
the guy that gave me this advise was married well over 50 years, the streak ended when his wife passed from cancer recently.

brettw22

I'm glad to see people responding to these types of threads. I'm sure Maz appreciates it and it's good to get others perspective on things other than just the newest Amp etc....

ohskigod wrote:

one more thing. a very wise man gave me a great piece of advice. "Never let the sub set on your anger"

Freudian slip???

ohskigod

the SUN.......for gods sake LOL

PolkThug

Quit being an **** and accept her faults, everyone has them. No matter how much greener the grass is on the other side, some guy is tired of mowin' it.

I-SIG

polksda wrote:

While I cannot say I've gone throught the same thing (I'm afraid I'm afflicted with a case of terminal bachelorhood...

Same here, but I will chime in on the meds. The last couple of year I was at Georgia Tech, I felt like I was getting down. So I talked to my doctor and he put me on the original version of one anti-depressant. Well, that seemed okay for a few months, then it seemed like I wasn't receiving the benefit of the drugs, then I swapped to a more refined version that had a new name, etc. It seemed to last longer and the side effects, though mild on me, were reduced. Well after a few more months it seemed like it wasn't working as well as before, so we upped the dosage. Same thing again. It seemed good for awhile then it quit working.

I don't know where I'm going with this just to say that it is very possible meds might be treating a symptom and not a cause. I think I starting feeling a lot better after I graduated. Even after moving across the country all by myself, being homesick and not having many friends out here (thanks, Steve & Beverly) and not meeting a great girl in the right situation, I have yet to feel like I did at GaTech and as such have stayed off any meds.

I guess the tight rope we all have to walk is taking care of things on the home front but looking out for number 1 at the same time. Sorry if this doesn't help, but it was my piddling expereince dealing depression and what not.

Wes

Demiurge

Aren't you 23?

Polkersince85

Having been married for 19 years and divorced for 10, I've seen it before. From my advice bag, Turn off all TV "feel good shows", ban Dr. Phil, etc. You can't be her and she can't be you. One of ya"ll put the pants on and get on with your lives. Be yourselves but have common goals. You can spend as much as you can afford on marriage advice, just remember, they make their living off of the above advice. Just my.02.

kingsqueak

11 years together, 7 years legal.

I still find myself walking down the sidewalk thinking "Holy crap! Wait, did I marry her?"

Would I do it again, yeah in a second. Is it what I would consider a natural thing....no way man, it's a definite adjustment for me, still adjusting, probably to the grave ;-).

Your described level of anxiety is more than I would consider normal, so a doctor is a good idea. If your doc isn't responsive, fire them and get one who is. Meds are a slippery slope and you need to have a doc who cares if you are going that route.

My wedding day is a blur, I sort of floated through it. I got PTSD from it a month or so later heh. The next hump is buying a house, that one will get your head flying around too.

Stay aware that your feelings are because of YOU, bite your tongue before you dump on her because you are in a down phase, and do your best to try to figure out what your triggers are and what you can do to overcome them.

Look at the balance sheet of the whole thing. At least in my case, if it weren't for the support and motivation of my wife, I'd still be living hand-to-mouth out of the back of a music tour van rather than having somewhat of a normal American dream of an existence. I miss those days sometimes, but hindsight always makes things seem rosier than they were.

Driver

hi maz
I've been married for ten years, and in that time my husband and I have argued about ten may be eleven times, we have a great relationship and this is due to being best mates as well as husband and wife, nothing changed when we tied the knot, as its only a bit of paper to say how much you love each other, its nothing to fret over it should be like how you were before getting married, nothing should change. and getting married young has nothing to do with it, I was 21, and were both very happy. try getting a common intrest, my husband and i took up drag racing together and its a lot of fun. imo i think its all the other stuff you've put on yourself, not your wife, how can you feel like this with the woman you love?

steveinaz

Brother, it's all about keeping things in perspective---dividing that, that IS important, from that, that isn't.

What's the source of the stress? Are you panicky because you're married now? Feel trapped? Let it go brother. Put that bag of bricks down, and enjoy yourself. Marriage is rarely perfect, but it's nothing to get your nuts in a bunch about. Stop trying to PLAN everything and fly by the seat of your pants once in awhile---it's amazing therapy.

You're relatively successful right? Your best friend is your wife (my guess you've been togther for a long time) right? Roof over your head, food, clothing, heat right? Life is good, right?

What the hell is there to stress about? Relax brotha, relax.

wingnut4772

I think your subconscious is just clicking on the committment aspect now. The black and white of it. There is nothing you can not get out of regardless of any binding documents or ceremonies. Maybe just reminding yourself of that will help you breathe easier. Hope it works out.

cfrizz

Hi Maz. I'm sorry that you are going through this. I have these thoughts.

1. Get a thorough check up & bloodwork done. Along with the stress you are under, some depressions ARE caused by chemical imbalances. I know because my mother suffered from depressions off & on most of her life.

You said your mother also suffers from them, so there is a family history there. With counseling & meds most can live a normal life. So don't ignore the possible physical reasons for it.

As for the rest, get yourself & your wife to a counselor! Open communication between the 2 of you with an objective 3rd person will help immensely.

Good luck & keep us posted.

Mazeroth

Guys, I really appreciate you taking the time to read my lengthy post and responding as many of you have. The last two days were really bad, but today I'm feeling much better. I think what's really affected me is not seeing her until the weekends and the horribly cold/cloudy weather we've had these last few months. This morning I was feeling a little bit better, and knowing I was going to spend the next 16 days with my wife, able to do anything we want, is really helping. We just went rollerblading in the beautiful 45 degree sunshine and getting out and doing stuff, like we've done for the last 8 years, felt great. Right now she's making some corn chowder soup and I just marinated some chicken to grill out over at my brothers house, something that hasn't happened since I moved to second shift almost nine months ago. My Mom made a good point to me today about being anxious for the trip. She said, have you two ever went on a trip before? I responded, of course..many. Did you have a great time? I repsonded, every time. Of course, her reply was, "Then why are you getting all anxious? You know you're going to have the time of your life, you love her to death, now calm yourself down and get ready to have some fun!" Deep down inside I know it's going to be a great trip, but beating myself up for the last few months really screwed with my head, in a chemical way.

It's just wierd. I 100% know she's the one for me and I'm the one for her. We are the best of friends and get along so well it's sick. Seriously, people tell us we make them sick all the time because of how lovey-dovey we are after all these years, and how they wish they could be the same. It's just after saying the "I Do", something hit me like a ton of bricks, which is absolutely retarded, but that's what happened.

cfrizz,

I did go to the doctor and he drew blood to check my thyroid and everything looks great. I had a full physical done a few months ago as well, and I'm in tip-top shape. Talking to my mother has been the biggest help of all, seeing how she's been through things similar to this and can really relate. Without her support I think I'd still be in a rut, but I'm slowly digging myself out of it. Seriously, up until three days ago I almost felt totally back to normal. Then the closing in of the trip and bamo, I got scared to death. I think one of the reasons is we were going to drive to Orlando, and my second to last panic attack happened in our car at night driving three hours back home from where I grew up. After talking my wife into flying I felt a ton better. Deep down inside I know the car trip at night had NOTHING to do with the panic attack, but in my brain I still correlate that experience to unpleasantness. It's crazy, because I drive at night all the time home from work etc, but the long trip is what's throwing me off. I'm hoping once my brain chemicals fall back into place that won't be an issue any more.

I just wanted to see if anyone else has been through something similar and hearing your stories and reading your advice has really helped. Keep it up, and keep me in your prayers, if you would.

Thanks

steveinaz

I'd recommend staying off anti-depressants. Here's my take:

Depression, sadness, anxiety are all perfectly NORMAL emotions that all humans have to one degree or another. My personal opinion is that anti-depressants "hide" the problem. You never truly deal with the issue because you're always masking it with drugs. These feelings HAVE to be faced and dealt with. Let the tears flow, get it out of your system, whatever it takes.

bobman1235

I don't have anythign to say about the marriage stuff, just because I've never been there, but keep in mind that depression / anxiety can make you irritable anyways - while I wouldn't rule out that it's your new wife that is.... annoying you, it could just be your state of mind that is making her seem "annoying."

I've dealt with some anxiety, about a year ago, and the biggest thing I learned was that anxiety is often the CAUSE of the anxiety. You get it once or twice, for whatever reason, and you spend the rest of your time worrying about the anxiety itself, and any recurring symptoms. Most of your original post was you talking about how you hate the feeling -- that very dread is probably causing the most anxiety in your life right now.

There's not much more you can do than whta you are - identify and talk about it. Good luck man.

brettw22

Our good friend Tom Cruise claims that meds are completely unnecessary......I wish I had the link handy of that interview on the Today show.....he's a freak.

Good luck Maz.....

bobman1235

You're glib, Brett...

brettw22

Ya, but you should have said my name at least 10 times there..... lol

Tour2ma

Sorry to read the above Maze....

Aside from the legal commitment factor, identify what is different in your relationship now from pre-ceremony, and bring that back.

It reads to me like "space"/ personal time is one issue. Time apart is valuable; it increases the value of time together.

It reads like not being as physically active together is another. This certainly may have contributed to both your stress increase and the wife's weight gain.

However, just looking at symptoms and "treating" them is not the answer. Look for the "Root Cause". Seems to me that you already know it, and "it" is the increased demands of your job. You may need to consider a career move.

Beekyman

I'm a happily divorced guy that has come to the conclusion that successful unions (marriage) is a product of marrying your best friend of the opposite sex. I have come to this conclusion through careful observations of folks that I see in all walks of life that demonstrate happy and nurturing relationships.
This friendship seems to be the common denominator and you appear to have this part of the equation solved! Relax!! It would appear that your in good hands if your wife is understanding of your situation. 20 lbs? Its very common for both parties to gain weight as they settle in and get comfortable.
I would stay away from the meds unless absolutely neccessary. The meds that you mentioned actually ruined a relationship that I had with girl several years back. Those drugs were supposed to help her depression and just made her perception of life way worse...a real shame...she was to be WIFE 2.0 !
This may sound weird but try changing your lighting to full spectrum lighting because it relieves my "winter blues". It also makes colors more vivid and true to life as opposed to viewing them with regular lights. Good luck and best wishes!