Help

nellis8166
nellis8166 Posts: 292
edited April 2024 in Clubhouse Archives
I found out that my fiance' has been cheating on me last night. I honestly just want to crawl up in a ball and die. This is the worst pain I have ever known.
RTi10
CSi5
RTi28
SVS PB12-ISD2

Denon 2106(pre/pro)
Adcom 5503(200x3)

Audioquest Diamondback ICS
Kimber Kable 8tc biwire(mains and center)

"Don't let your silly dreams fall in between the crack of the bed and the wall."
-J. James
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
«1

Comments

  • dkg999
    dkg999 Posts: 5,647
    edited January 2006
    Take heart in the fact that you found out now, prior to being married! Everyone makes mistakes, especially with the pressure that making a marriage committment places on some people. If your fiance' is wanting to reconcile you have decide if the trust factor can ever be regained. Some people change, unfortunately most don't. My ex cheated on me the whole time we were engaged and married, I knew it, she didn't know that I knew, however I married her to get parental rights to my daughter due to a really f'd up legal situation caused by her lies. You have to decide what you can deal with and still take care of your well-being and happiness! Good luck!
    DKG999
    HT System: LSi9, LSiCx2, LSiFX, LSi7, SVS 20-39 PC+, B&K 507.s2 AVR, B&K Ref 125.2, Tripplite LCR-2400, Cambridge 650BD, Signal Cable PC/SC, BJC IC, Samsung 55" LED

    Music System: Magnepan 1.6QR, SVS SB12+, ARC pre, Parasound HCA1500 vertically bi-amped, Jolida CDP, Pro-Ject RM5.1SE TT, Pro-Ject TubeBox SE phono pre, SBT, PS Audio DLIII DAC
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Ricardo
    Ricardo Posts: 10,636
    edited January 2006
    Yeah...it hurts like hell, but it'll go away; if there is no children involved, just forget it...things happen for a reason and you'll find better times...soon.
    _________________________________________________
    ***\\\\\........................... My Audio Journey ............................./////***

    2008 & 2010 Football Pool WINNER
    SOPA
    Thank God for different opinions. Imagine the world if we all wanted the same woman
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • MSkeezer
    MSkeezer Posts: 1,183
    edited January 2006
    That sucks, man. The trust issue is BIG. I cheated on my wife once a few years ago and she still doesn't trust me. Our marriage is in question right now. If there's no kid involved, split.

    On an unrelated note: dkg, ever thought of selling any of those Polks?
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • george daniel
    george daniel Posts: 12,096
    edited January 2006
    Sorry to hear that ,, RUN,,, samething happened to me ,found/verified on christmas day (years ago),like a dumbass, I married her anyway, lasted 6 months,, pay attention to the warning signs,, I did'nt. Good luck
    JC approves....he told me so. (F-1 nut)
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • janmike
    janmike Posts: 6,146
    edited January 2006
    One key ingredient in a successful marriage is the element of trust. That trust has been violated my friend.
    Michael ;)
    In the beginning, all knowledge was new!
    NORTH of 60°
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gshisme
    gshisme Posts: 1,038
    edited January 2006
    Move on my friend. There are a lot of fish in the sea. I do understand your hurt but the quicker you move on, the quicker you lose the pain.
    suds, suds and more suds!
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • halo
    halo Posts: 5,616
    edited January 2006
    Once a cheat, always a cheat. I know it's hell for you right now and I'm sorry about that. If I were in your shoes (and I have been) I'd make a very clean break immediately. I wouldn't even discuss it with her - get the f*ck out and that's that. You will find a better person later on. The ocean is full of fish - no worries
    Audio: Polk S15 * Polk S35 * Polk S10 * SVS SB-1000 Pro
    HT: Samsung QN90B * Marantz NR1510 * Panasonic DMP-BDT220 * Roku Ultra LT * APC H10
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • MSkeezer
    MSkeezer Posts: 1,183
    edited January 2006
    Go ahead and replace your RTi28's with some LSi7's and get an SVS and turn it up. :) You'll get over her in no time :p
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Frank Z
    Frank Z Posts: 5,860
    edited January 2006
    I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you. I've got to agree with the advise you've been given already.

    Just make sure you tell her parents face to face why you aren't marrying their little girl.
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
    2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Shizelbs
    Shizelbs Posts: 7,433
    edited January 2006
    Wow, sorry to hear that man. I also have to agree with the advice given so far. Get out, much better now than too late.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    edited January 2006
    I'm sorry to hear that. At least you found out BEFORE the wedding, so you can make a clean break. If they cheat once, they'll cheat again!
    Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • MSkeezer
    MSkeezer Posts: 1,183
    edited January 2006
    I agree with Frank. Tell her parents. That'll teach that little **** (I can't believe I used that word...)
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • MrBuhl
    MrBuhl Posts: 2,419
    edited January 2006
    Just remember that this reflects poorly on them, and their lack of character, not your own... I have to agree it's my experience that cheaters do not quit... it's a life choice - you should choose otherwise... Hang in there.
    VA HT HK AVR20II, Sony S9000ES CD/DVD/SACD, Polk Audio RC80i / Polk Audio CSi3, 60" Panasonic Plasma, Nordost / Signal Cable A2 / Wireworld / Pangea / Magic Power
    VA 2 Channel Focal Electra 926 speakers, Pass Labs X150.5 Amp, Eastern Electric MiniMax Preamp (Tutay mods), Eastern Electric Minimax CDP (Scott Nixon mods), Music Hall mmf 5.1 Turntable, Parks Audio Budgie Phono Pre , Audioengine B1 streamer, MIT S3 IC's / MIT Shotgun S3 Speaker Cables / PS Audio power cables
    Noggin Schiit Valhalla, Pangea, Phillips Fidelio X1, Polk UF8000

    Polk SDA1c modded
    Polk CRS+ 4.1TL modded (need veneer)
    Polk SDA2BTL (fully modded)
    A/L 1000VA Dreadnought Canare 4s11 SDA cable
    SACD Marantz DV8300
    Sony S9000ES CD/DVD/SACD
    Yamaha YP-D6
    Soundcraftsmen PCR800
    Audible Illusions L1 Preamp
    Vincent MFA based Cocci Tube Preamp
    Pho-700 Phono Pre
    Signal Cable Silver Resolution IC's






    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • POLKOHOLIC
    POLKOHOLIC Posts: 407
    edited January 2006
    what a ****. you should marry her and show her whose boss.

    edit:

    Also, Jack Daniels is your friend - embrace him and his magical syrup.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • whitetruk
    whitetruk Posts: 308
    edited January 2006
    HTrookie wrote:
    Yeah...it hurts like hell, but it'll go away; if there is no children involved, just forget it...things happen for a reason and you'll find better times...soon.


    could not have said it better myself.
    p.s. my ex was not cheating on me, she just decided to get married about two months after she left.haha

    really i believe her
    I thought it was fairly amusing also. The Polk Ogre doesn't always get 'it'
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Polkitup2
    Polkitup2 Posts: 1,623
    edited January 2006
    She cheated because she wasn't commited to you, as in undecided. Better now than after you were married. Go out, get laid, move on, f-her.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • MacLeod
    MacLeod Posts: 14,358
    edited January 2006
    I feel your pain. Take some comfort in knowing that there are a lot of people out there that have gone thru the same thing.

    This chick has screwed you over and youll never be able to trust her again. Trust me on this. You should dump her on the spot. If she came to you crying and confessing before you knew then she may be worth the effort in working it out but if you caught her red handed then shes a ho and you should dump her **** and move on.

    In 5 years when youve got a new chick, you wont even be able to remember this ones name!
    polkaudio sound quality competitor since 2005
    MECA SQ Rookie of the Year 06 ~ MECA State Champ 06,07,08,11 ~ MECA World Finals 2nd place 06,07,08,09
    08 Car Audio Nationals 1st ~ 07 N Georgia Nationals 1st ~ 06 Carl Casper Nationals 1st ~ USACi 05 Southeast AutumnFest 1st

    polkaudio SR6500 --- polkaudio MM1040 x2 -- Pioneer P99 -- Rockford Fosgate P1000X5D
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • BobMcG
    BobMcG Posts: 1,585
    edited January 2006
    I know what you're going through and you have my sympathy.

    Everyone has pretty much covered it.... it sucks, it hurts like hell, it's far better to find out now rather than later, time will heal you, you will get over it (as very hard as that is to believe right now), you'll meet someone much better than her, and this probably happened for a very good reason. Life is strange that way.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • BobMcG
    BobMcG Posts: 1,585
    edited January 2006
    Oh yeah, forgot one thing...




    Dump her sorry arse!!!
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • petrym
    petrym Posts: 1,912
    edited January 2006
    Trust is the basis of a solid marriage; if she didn't have it before you got married, she never will. I'd go with the consensus here: tell her and her P's - then kick her out. That sounds difficult if you still have feelings for her, but she doesn't have the same feelings for you. Move on.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • karpiel666
    karpiel666 Posts: 173
    edited January 2006
    always remember, people dont cheat because you are inadequite, the cheat because they are crazy, sex hungry whores. At least thats thats what I keep telling myself. :(
    dvd player: samsung DVD-HD850
    receiver: Denon avr5700
    center: polk cs400
    fronts: polk rt800i
    surrounds: Unknown Polk monitor? series.
    sub: svs pb12 isd/v
    tv: 46 inch samsung
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • amulford
    amulford Posts: 5,020
    edited January 2006
    I feel you brother. I was ready to marry this broad, we have a child together. Found out she was, well you know. It hurts, but it does go away...

    Definitely tell her parents. They might even know already, but let them know you know. Tell everybody and embarass the hell out of her.

    But move on. Just move on.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Mike Reeter
    Mike Reeter Posts: 4,315
    edited January 2006
    Do not let yourself be blinded by love...See this situation for what it really is..a blessing in disguise...

    Try to pick yourself up,blow out the cobwebs,and get on with it...As the lyrics say "Forgive and Forget,Relive and Regret"
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • steveinaz
    steveinaz Posts: 19,538
    edited January 2006
    Take the high road brotha. There will be another woman, one who is more suited to you...believe that.

    Go back to hanging out with the fellas for awhile---take a break and stay busy with a hobby...
    Source: Bluesound Node 2i - Preamp/DAC: Benchmark DAC2 DX - Amp: Parasound Halo A21 - Speakers: MartinLogan Motion 60XTi - Shop Rig: Yamaha A-S501 Integrated - Shop Spkrs: Elac Debut 2.0 B5.2
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • CrBoy
    CrBoy Posts: 580
    edited January 2006
    My gf cheated on me after about 3 years of relationship and she told me about it up front the day after (she made out with a dude on a bar) so we split up immediately. Sure I was in deep PAIN :mad: ... after 2 months she started calling me to get back together and about 1.5 months later we did (I had to swallow my price because I love her so bad!).

    We haven been together ever since (about a year ago or so) and she is wonderful... a complete 180 change on her behavior, she’s a more dedicate, loving person. I took her back and I don't regreet at all :D

    So Once a cheat, always a cheat is not true in my book…
    <|>
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Frank Z
    Frank Z Posts: 5,860
    edited January 2006
    I think your talking about a totally different type of cheating....
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
    2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • MrBuhl
    MrBuhl Posts: 2,419
    edited January 2006
    Frank Z wrote:
    I think your talking about a totally different type of cheating....

    +1 to that -
    VA HT HK AVR20II, Sony S9000ES CD/DVD/SACD, Polk Audio RC80i / Polk Audio CSi3, 60" Panasonic Plasma, Nordost / Signal Cable A2 / Wireworld / Pangea / Magic Power
    VA 2 Channel Focal Electra 926 speakers, Pass Labs X150.5 Amp, Eastern Electric MiniMax Preamp (Tutay mods), Eastern Electric Minimax CDP (Scott Nixon mods), Music Hall mmf 5.1 Turntable, Parks Audio Budgie Phono Pre , Audioengine B1 streamer, MIT S3 IC's / MIT Shotgun S3 Speaker Cables / PS Audio power cables
    Noggin Schiit Valhalla, Pangea, Phillips Fidelio X1, Polk UF8000

    Polk SDA1c modded
    Polk CRS+ 4.1TL modded (need veneer)
    Polk SDA2BTL (fully modded)
    A/L 1000VA Dreadnought Canare 4s11 SDA cable
    SACD Marantz DV8300
    Sony S9000ES CD/DVD/SACD
    Yamaha YP-D6
    Soundcraftsmen PCR800
    Audible Illusions L1 Preamp
    Vincent MFA based Cocci Tube Preamp
    Pho-700 Phono Pre
    Signal Cable Silver Resolution IC's






    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • BobMcG
    BobMcG Posts: 1,585
    edited January 2006
    Frank Z wrote:
    I think your talking about a totally different type of cheating....

    +1 more to that.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • CrBoy
    CrBoy Posts: 580
    edited January 2006
    Frank Z wrote:
    I think your talking about a totally different type of cheating....

    Yeah, it might be a different type but the reasons to cheat are the same, aren't they?
    If my post is out of line I will delete it, ok? Just lemme know
    <|>
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Frank Z
    Frank Z Posts: 5,860
    edited January 2006
    You know what boys? this is a really sad situation that all of us men can learn something from. Before you opt to dip your lure in a new stream, think about what you may be doing to yourself and someone else.

    It's easy to drop your pants or hike up your skirt and knock boots with someone else, but is it really worth it? Reading some of the posts here should tell everyone that it is not.

    [/Soapbox lecture]
    9/11 - WE WILL NEVER FORGET!! (<---<<click)
    2005-06 Club Polk Football Pool Champion!! :D
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter