Relationships suck

nadams

No, we haven't wasted time yet, but we have to decide if we'd be wasting time if we kept going or not. We've been having some differences of opinions lately, but I still care about her... at any rate, things will work out one way or another.

I'm gonna sit down and talk to my dad tonight about where I'm going in life and see if he has any suggestions...

Demiurge

I don't think men and women can be friends without letting the physical aspect get involved at some point, especially after a romantic relationship, but hey...that's an age old debate. One of the two friends almost always ends up getting hurt or have feelings for the other. I'll stand by it too....because every friend I have ever challenged on it with their female friends end up finding it to be true. It's one thing I find that women can't understand about their guy friends.

No, I don't want to argue about it. Just want to put it out there for something to think about. It's just my opinion on it based on my experiences with it and things I have seen.

Strong Bad

Noah, the guys in here have some good advice.

Something else to think about is, don't look back and think of it as wasted time. It's not wasted time! Look at it as a life experience.

Having that terrible feeling in your stomach from a broken heart is HORRIBLE! What a f***ing nasty feeling. A broken heart can crash your entire world. Time does heal though.

As for the job thing, think about heading back to school. Set some time aside and write **** down. Come up with a plan of attack. Don't let money stop you from education and getting ahead. There are tons of ways to get student loans and to make things happen. **** man, you're only 19!

I was 33 when i left a job in 2001 after putting in 14 1/2 years (thats a mouth full). I was depressed beyond belief and sinking fast. I needed a huge change in my life. I had no career. No social life. No nothing, or thats the way I was conditioned to think. I got a job as a stripclub DJ and put myself through Microsoft school using a student loan. 4 years later, i'm a network engineer for a Defense Contractor (doing very well with $$$), I have a part time photography business that I started as a result of working in said stripclubs and still DJ 1 night a week. My life is just damn awesome and gets better all the time.

Noah, there is so much opportunity out there it's not funny. Look for it and answer the door when it knocks. Take some time to clear your head. The panic attack is probably just stress, although i'm no doctor and never had one. Don't let a first love hold your entire life back.


PM me if you need to talk.


John

Skynut

Wow these people really have good tips.

In my situation I say look foreward to the excitement of someone new.
New relationships are so much fun, getting to know someone and having new experiences with them can be one of the greatest pleasures in life. (life which you have a lot of ahead of you)
Once you "settle down" with a signifacant other you are stuck. Good or bad you are commited to that person and are not morraly allowed to be with anyone else. Life is pretty long and will be even longer if that someone is not the right person.
When I was your age (damn that makes me feel old) I kept myself single because I wanted to be free to date anyone and that was fun for several years.
Then I married the wrong women and by the time she left me I was ready for a change. It hurt alot to be dumped (not saying YOU were dumped) but then shortly later some new exciting romances came along and I felt all better.

The excersize recomendations are top notch, follow that advice. Excersize will clear your head like you would not believe until you try.
Eating right is also good advice that I did not follow and it showed in my punky moods.

I also say whatever you do do not try overly hard to "FIX" the problem. If you persue her too much she will feel empowered and look at you as weak or desprate.
When my wife told me she wanted to leave I was all tears and tried everything to stop her, well she really didn't want to hear it and the harder I tried the more she wanted out. When I flipped the coin, changed the locks, and started seeing someone else all of the sudden she was interested again. Thats how I left her, interested in me.

With the new G/F I had the excitement and someone to help me through the hard times. This made it easier to get through the pain of seperation. (9 year relationship with my ex btw.)

Just pull yourself up by the boot-straps and move foreward. I know this probably sounds impossible but once you have life will open up and be beautifull again.

I would give up all I have (short of experience) to be 19 again.
OK not 19 but definatly for anywhere in the 21-25 year old range.

Go work on a resume and get some interviewing experience and like was said earlier don't worry about the interview, it's just a job and until they hire you, you have nothing to loose.

steveinaz

I think alot of your anxiety is both normal and not that uncommon. You need a CHANGE in your life. That's why I recommended the military; it'll give you a sense of pride, confidence, and independence. Seriously....think about it. Good money, college tuition assistance (75%), and a chance to see the world.

But most importantly, it will heal you man, trust me on that. I was a nervous wreck at 20, the Army turned that around for me, and was a pivotal moment in my life...

Skynut

steveinaz wrote:

I think alot of your anxiety is both normal and not that uncommon. You need a CHANGE in your life. That's why I recommended the military; it'll give you a sense of pride, confidence, and independence. Seriously....think about it. Good money, college tuition assistance (75%), and a chance to see the world.

But most importantly, it will heal you man, trust me on that. I was a nervous wreck at 20, the Army turned that around for me, and was a pivotal moment in my life...

I'll second that.
I spent my free and single years in the Navy and I have never regretted that.
Saw the world and there are alot of women in the world.
My best friends now are people I met in the service, we live 100's of miles apart and still manage to get together several times a year.

The military is an excellent place to gain life experience.

cfrizz

+1 on what Darla said Noah. Keep plugging away & things will work themselves out eventually!

wingnut4772 wrote:

Noah, You are being too hard on yourself. It sounds like you have a plan and know what you need to do with your life. This girl and you are friends..have been friends for so long...so don't worry about that. Take care of what you need to for you. If you need to get a full time job...start with that. One thing at a time , ok? Just don't beat yourself up. The holidays can have a funny affect on our emotions sometimes...but it sounds like you really do have grip on what it is you need to do to take control of your life. You don't need anyone else to tell you what you already know.

Tour2ma

Lot of good stuff here... On the counseling, there's usually free, professional counseling available, if you look around.

'Bout the only uncovered topic is the late night listening... think headphones for that.

Good luck, Noah....