Bird Issue

RuSsMaN

I have 2 Live Oak trees in the front yard, about 5 yrs old each. It's not a dove, but some noisey **** (Jay maybe) piece of $hit that decided to build a nest in one.

The effer SINGS his friggin heart out between 2 and 5 AM EVERY NIGHT. I went out and checked the nest, nothing was in it, so I destroyed it. I then drank a couple beers and urinated in a 20oz plastic cup, until it was almost full. I then proceeded to 'mark' the tree.

Seemed to work for a day or two, but he's back, and he's keeping me up at night. If I set off the sprinklers in the front yard, he leaves for a few minutes, then comes right back. I'm afraid if I take my pistol BB gun out front and cap his ****, I'll end up face down in my own yard on the 6 oclock news.

What can I do? My only plan right now, is to run out there at 2am when he starts up again, and unload an entire fire extiguisher on him. Should I get some effing pepper spray?

Cheers,
Russ

George Grand

This is a job for.....................earplugs.


George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

michael_w

PhantomOG

put a fake owl in your tree?

i see some local businesses that do this to scare away birds, don't know how effective it is though.

michael_w

but explosives are so much more fun

Airplay355

I vote for the explosives/cap his ****.

bobman1235

Seriously, dont' you live in Texas? I'm surprised your neighbors haven't already shot it for you.

madmax

Pepper spray will piss it off. I used it on a bird at my house. Funny thing was the next morning the bird was in a different tree and as I went to the car it started making a huge ruckus. I thought it was going to attack me! After running to the car I left. Didn't see it again after that.
madmax

Jstas

Might be a mocking bird. Those birds are pretty freaking stupid. How to get rid of it? The shooting thing is one thing but you gotta be able to see it unless you want to aimlessly fire a shotgun with bird shot into the tree. Other explosives and such have been mentioned. I think the best thing to do is either call animal control or like what was already said, the parks service or even a local conservation organization for habitat. They can usually send someone out to see what the deal is. While I would be all for killing it, the cautious side says to refrain because the species may be endangered or protected and if you kill, you are in some deep doo-doo with the state and federal government.

dragon1952

Instead of destroying the nest you should have put a big ol rat trap in it and then covered it up with twigs. If it didn't kill him maybe it would snap down on his beak and make it hurt to chirp.

Shizelbs

Get a cat. Let nature take its course.

heiney9

Try the owl if you put it somewhere the bird can see it w/o actually being next to it. If the bird realizes it doesn't move he may ignore it because it's not a threat. I used to have a goddamn woodpecker pecking on my cedar siding. When you are hung over at 4:30 on Sat/Sun morning that pecking sound is sooooo looooud.
Birds are very persistant, especially after they find a place to mate. Good luck man....I fought with that '**** all spring and never did get him to leave. He came back the next year too.

H9

ledhed

We had a woodpecker that was keepin my dad awake. The 20 Ga. stopped that.

trubluluc

.....To kill a mockingbird... could have some major social implications.

Too bad you removed the nest, because He already owns that piece of turf, (at least as far as other mockingbirds are concerned)
and once he attracks a female and ruffles her feathers a couple of times,
he would have shut up. As in once the parties over, what is there to sing about?
Now he's got to build a whole new condo, and probably put in a decent home theater,
and maybe a new kitchen, just to compete with the other flying penises on the block.

patience is a virtue, at least that's what I've heard.
I wish you luck Rooster.

-Luc

Originally posted by Jstas
Might be a mocking bird. Those birds are pretty freaking stupid. How to get rid of it? The shooting thing is one thing but you gotta be able to see it unless you want to aimlessly fire a shotgun with bird shot into the tree. Other explosives and such have been mentioned. I think the best thing to do is either call animal control or like what was already said, the parks service or even a local conservation organization for habitat. They can usually send someone out to see what the deal is. While I would be all for killing it, the cautious side says to refrain because the species may be endangered or protected and if you kill, you are in some deep doo-doo with the state and federal government.

beardog03

let it re-build the nest...
run an extension cord up to the nest....
polk the bare wires through the bottom of the nest...

Wait for it to get into the nest..



flip the switch...









POOOF..!!

fried chicken..!!


if that doesn`t work..(it will)
hang something shiny in the tree around were it hangs out..
the breeze will make it sparkle and scare the birds off...

works in the grape vinyards..

or like they mentioned before...go caddyshack on em`..!!

steveinaz

Originally posted by PhantomOG
put a fake owl in your tree?

i see some local businesses that do this to scare away birds, don't know how effective it is though.

Yep. Walmart has fake owls. I use one on my patio to keep the birds from shitting on the bar. Works like a charm.

audiobliss

I second the BB gun and/or fake owl idea. The fake owl has worked for us some, and, if the bird had actually stayed still long enough, the BB gun would have, too.

marker

A couple of rubber snakes on the tree.

fireshoes

somebody's got to photoshop this!

F1nut

The rubber snakes, the owl or the bright strips of matter will do the trick.

George Grand

Going to pepper spray or shoot a freakin' bird for making bird noises?


Better make the first shot count, just in case it's bloodthirsty and the thing charges at you.

George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)

heiney9

I want to change my vote......I think Fireshoes has the right idea! Russman I'm guessing the trees have to stay intact:D

H9

Tour2ma

We tried fake owls at work. They worked for about a year and then just ended up covered in birdshit...

pjdami

http://www.absolutebirdcontrol.com/scareballoons.htm

No idea if it will work. Looks cool as the eff and can be used as a birdy beach ball too. Of course, your neighbors may think you're crazy or insane... wait they know that already;)

On a more serious note for this sleep deprieving matter... the fake owl I've heard stories about it working too. Where I live we have the real ones. Saw one Saturday night perched on my streetcorner sign when I rolled in around 3 am.

Shiny stuff works too. You could try some of those hand held kid windmill thingies (whatever they are called). My dad uses them in his tomato garden to keep the birds away.

heiney9

Russman,

Why don't you just sleep in the tree, on the branch where the nest was. She'll get the idea that a new tenant has moved in and she needs to move on.......just a thought:eek:

masanz1

we tried the owls in at work. They worked for a few weeks but eventually the birds figured it out and they came back. Now all we do is drive our diesel trucks in the area and smoke them out. Works good. Now if someone can figure out how to get rid of box elder bugs.

pjdami

but eventually the birds figured it out

So much for pigeons having "bird brains" eh? Them effers can get to be pretty smart after a while. Or maybe the dumb ones are so dumb they don't know what an effin owl is so when they don't get killed on a close flyby the other ones get more courageous. But in an industrial setting we're talking about dozens or hundreds of them. Really a nuisance and a pest.

In Russ' case, we are talking about a single bird..maybe two...so the fake owl or the balloon may work.

dorokusai

We have tried owls on the cellsite towers at work....they don't work for long. There is nothing like working on a bird **** covered cabinet....in the rain.

hotwheelman

The local phone company has a shortwave tower that the pigeons loved to roost on until they started playing a recording of a wounded bird from atop the tower........the post office is right across the street from it so you had to listen to it every time you visited the postel service. I'm sure the neighbors would love you if you played that in the middle of the night.:D

dorokusai

I assure you, my company doesn't care what employees "think" just what they "do". We've tried all methods to counteract "bird encroachment" to no avail. None of them are 100%, I assure you.

I recall seeing a special about dogs and birds at airports....perhaps I can train my fat Pug to chase birds while at work....hmmm

The best method for those of us on the ground, big wrench, big bang on the tower leg = 15 minutes of troubleshooting.

RuSsMaN

He's in the neighbor's tree right now, singing his heart out, I'm headed over in stealth mode with a full fire extinguisher....