Raising Boys
brettw22
Posts: 7,623
Just passing this on.......worth a few laughs.....
Raising Boys
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is NOT funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
---
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas.
Things I have learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
2,000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults
in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy
wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough,
however,
if tied to a paint can, to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have
to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The window panes (even double-panes) do not
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
oh", it is already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
lots of it.
9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint
rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the
movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in
the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is 4-ever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't
walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15). VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even
though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
driving.
18.) You probably do NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
Plastic toys do not like ovens (and vice versa).
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute
response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the
Clorox and brake fluid.
25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.
Raising Boys
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is NOT funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
---
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas.
Things I have learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a
2,000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run
over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults
in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the
motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42-pound boy
wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough,
however,
if tied to a paint can, to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling
fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have
to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The window panes (even double-panes) do not
stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh
oh", it is already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
lots of it.
9.) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint
rock even though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the
movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive
tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in
the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is 4-ever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't
walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15). VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even
though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when
driving.
18.) You probably do NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
Plastic toys do not like ovens (and vice versa).
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute
response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not
make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the
Clorox and brake fluid.
25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.
comment comment comment comment. bitchy.
Post edited by RyanC_Masimo on
Comments
-
"80% of men who read this will try mixing the
Clorox and brake fluid."
I admit it, I was thinking about trying it.....LOL.Political Correctness'.........defined
"A doctrine fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a t-u-r-d by the clean end."
President of Club Polk -
That was awesome....
I've done quite a few of those things...and I was definetely tempted to try the clorox thing...hmmmmmm
Weird...- Not Tom ::::::: Any system can play Diana Krall. Only the best can play Limp Bizkit. -
Mixing Clorox and brake fluid is stupid. If all it did was make a lot of smoke then whomever mixed it and got just smoke was extremely lucky. Clorox is chlorine based bleach and when you put chlorine into contact with brake fluid, it is highly combustible to the point of being considered explosive. It will throw debris a good distance and since it is not a fire like you would get with a match but rather a chemical reaction, it is extremely difficult to put out. Often, all you can do is wait for the reaction to stop. If that reaction comes into contact with your person, it will cause 3rd degree chemical burns almost instantly.
It is also the reason why you see two types of brake cleaner in the auto parts store. One with chlorine for cleaning brake parts like rotors, pads and dust covers and without chlorine for cleaning calipers, master cylinders, wheel cylinders and proprotioning valves and such.Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
What a spoil sport!
2 channel - Willsenton R8 tube integrated, Holo Audio Spring 3 KTE DAC, audio optimized NUC7i5, Windows 10 Pro/JRiver MC29/Fidelizer Plus 8.7 w/LPS and external SSD drive, PS Audio PerfectWave P3 regenerator, KEF R3 speakers, Rythmik F12SE subwoofer, Audioquest Diamond USB cable, Gabriel Gold IC's, Morrow Audio SP5 speaker cables. Computer - Windows 10/JRiver, Schiit Magni 3+/Modi 3+, Fostex PMO.4n monitors, Sennheiser HD600 headphones -
I'll try it, heck, I melted my face off once before. Anyone here feel liquid flesh?If...
Ron dislikes a film = go out and buy it.
Ron loves a film = don't even rent. -
Originally posted by brettw22
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and
lots of it.
I'm going to try it this weekend. I'll just mix a little bit of each in an empty plastic Coke bottle.:DProud and loyal citizen of the Digital Domain and Solid State Country! -
sounds like "anonymous mom" forgot to discipline these boys
-
take pics of the clorox expiriment
-
Screw that......
Give us some 30 second digital camera video clip that we can download so we don't miss a thing.comment comment comment comment. bitchy. -
80%..?
more like 98%..!!
Jstas is right though......not a very good idea..
chemical reactions that generate thier own heat are VERY dangerous...(can be very cool to watch also),
but I digress..!!
I won`t go into detail as to how/what I know.....
sufice it to say....not too many things go well with clorox...
or brake fluid...
tranny fluid can also generate it`s own heat if used properly...uh, I mean un-properly....
Chemistry experiments can be very cool, but if done blind (without knowledge/safely) , can make you just that....blind
and water is NOT always a good thing to use to try and put out all types of fires..!!
Because most of us are treehouse buildin` boys , some will try this anyway...keep a chemical fire extinguisher near by..
everybody should have 1 or 3 in the house/garage anyway.
also breathing the "smoke" my not be a wooops ya wanna make .
just my .02Cary SLP-98L F1 DC Pre Amp (Jag Blue)
Parasound HCA-3500
Cary Audio V12 amp (Jag Red)
Polk Audio Xm Reciever (Autographed by THE MAN Himself) :cool:
Magnum Dynalab MD-102 Analog Tuna
Jolida JD-100 CDP
Polk Audio LSi9 Speaks (ebony)
SVS PC-Ultra Sub
AQ Bedrock Speaker Cables (Bi-Wired)
MIT Shotgun S1 I/C`s
AQ Black Thunder Sub Cables
PS Audio Plus Power Cords
Magnum Dynalab ST-2 FM Antenna
Sanus Cherry wood Speak Stands
Adona AV45CS3 / 3 Tier Rack (Black /Gold)
:cool: -
Pffffffffffffffft......
C'mon, the Darwin Award needs to be won by SOMEONE, why not a Club Polk member??
Killjoys.
BDTI plan for the future. - F1Nut -
I`m not sayin don`t try it...
**edit**
yes I am...
after reading the post below, I recomend you think twice...
just my .02
sounds like he knows what he`s talkin about..Cary SLP-98L F1 DC Pre Amp (Jag Blue)
Parasound HCA-3500
Cary Audio V12 amp (Jag Red)
Polk Audio Xm Reciever (Autographed by THE MAN Himself) :cool:
Magnum Dynalab MD-102 Analog Tuna
Jolida JD-100 CDP
Polk Audio LSi9 Speaks (ebony)
SVS PC-Ultra Sub
AQ Bedrock Speaker Cables (Bi-Wired)
MIT Shotgun S1 I/C`s
AQ Black Thunder Sub Cables
PS Audio Plus Power Cords
Magnum Dynalab ST-2 FM Antenna
Sanus Cherry wood Speak Stands
Adona AV45CS3 / 3 Tier Rack (Black /Gold)
:cool: -
The reaction releases hypochlorous
acid and vaporized particulate matter into that cloud of smoke. The liquid heats up and releases that gas cloud. It also will continue to heat up and whatever remaining liquid is left, will ignite. If that vapor cloud with the chlorine particulates is still hanging around, there is a good chance that that cloud will ignite also with a large flash and intense heat. If it doesn't ignite and you get lucky, that cloud of gas is airborne chlorine which is bad enough as it is but mix it with the hypochlorous acid and you might as well snort scalding hot Drano. It's made up of the same stuff.
Go ahead and try it if you want. You're stupid if you do. I know a guy who is missing fingers and eye sight in his left eye because he wasn't paying attention when working on a brake job. That is the last warning I'm giving.Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
I would tend to follow that recommendation folks. Sounds like he knows what he's talking about this time.
2 channel - Willsenton R8 tube integrated, Holo Audio Spring 3 KTE DAC, audio optimized NUC7i5, Windows 10 Pro/JRiver MC29/Fidelizer Plus 8.7 w/LPS and external SSD drive, PS Audio PerfectWave P3 regenerator, KEF R3 speakers, Rythmik F12SE subwoofer, Audioquest Diamond USB cable, Gabriel Gold IC's, Morrow Audio SP5 speaker cables. Computer - Windows 10/JRiver, Schiit Magni 3+/Modi 3+, Fostex PMO.4n monitors, Sennheiser HD600 headphones -
I saw it done on a safety video. You DO NOT want to try it!
madmaxVinyl, the final frontier...
Avantgarde horns, 300b tubes, thats the kinda crap I want...
-
What color smoke?
George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)
Hey! Troy's comment about The Darwin Awards.................
".....and tonights final story, it appears a New Jersey man, for a brief, FLEETING moment, was able to harness the power of the sun and indeed the entire universe in order to drive his loudspeakers. Burnt molecules of the man AND his loudspeakers were found in neighboring New York. The molecules APPEARED to be arranged in the form of a smile." His wife reportedly indicated "Well, he DID say he wanted to be cremated, and have his ashes scattered over Brooklyn, but I thought he was only kidding." -
I'm a water plant operator and I can tell you from experience that a cloud of chlorine gas is yellow-green, heavier than air, and not something you want to fool around with. Mixing stuff with chlorine bleach is bad.
For explosive fun, I recommend bottle rockets instead. -
So.......if somebody DID want to mix stuff together to see a cool, HEAVIER THAN AIR yellow-green cloud, in order to SAFELY accomplish it, they would also need a blimp? Is that what you're trying to say?
George Grand (of the Jersey Grands) -
In a blimp or at least on the top of a hill would be the place to be, IMO.
Surely this would be more fun if we could think of a way to incorporate bottle rockets as well....
LOL! Just saw your edit, above! -
Everything in life would be better with bottle rockets involved, that's why god made them.
Have a puddle of brake fluid NEXT TO a small jug of Clorox. Hover the blimp over them and the first guy who hits the Clorox jug with a bottle rocket and spills it onto the brake fluid........ doesn't have to jump from the blimp down into the cloud and is the winner! I don't need to play, I just want to watch and drive the blimp.
George Grand (of the Jersey Grands)
