I Quit

Nightfall

For the first time in my life, ever, I walked out on a job only a few hours ago.

I was running a goat cheese stuffed portabella mushroom special last night and had some of the goat cheese mixture leftover in a little cup and covered it with plastic wrap. I came in tonight and noticed it was open. Strange, there's nothing they would have used this for during breakfast... so I asked the kitchen manager, who works mornings -

"What did you use this for?"

"What do you mean, it's gorgonzola"

"It's not, it's goat cheese with herbs mixed in it"

He flies off the handle and starts yelling at me. SCREAMING at me. Wow, okay, I stare blankly at him while he finishes and when he does I say

"I don't understand why you're so angry right now, there isn't an issue, I was just asking a question- calm down"

"Don't tell me what to do, just shut the **** up."

"Alright, I'll be seeing you then"

I grabbed my things and left. Man, my heart was racing. I never once raised my voice during this, I in fact tried to calmly diffuse the situation. This is not the first time he has blown up for no reason, others have quit too. I worked with him at a completely different job where he did the same thing. He argues (yelling) with his wife on the phone all the time because he'll spend 2-3 hours hanging out at the bar drinking after work instead of going home to his pregnant wife and child, and then lie about what he's doing when she calls asking where he is. If this was a one time thing, as in he was usually a very calm collective person I would have bought the apology he sent me after I left but it's not. He's an alcoholic with a very bad temper. I was forced to deal with this kind of person for 18 years of my life because I didn't have a choice, not going to put up with it as an adult.

Time to start job hunting. This has not been a great couple of months for me as far as work goes. I'm sure the boat will stop rocking soon.

How would you have handled the situation?

txcoastal1

Same thing Josh
Hope job hunting goes well

lightman1

I would have done the very same. Similar situation myself many years ago. The manager would flip out at the drop of a hat. After a few of those sessions, I collected my tools and walked. Knowing it was no use to argue with a person who was incapable of a rational discussion. He called a few times to ask me to come back at a substantial pay raise. I refused.
I'm sure there are other restaurants that would be glad to have you.
Good job keeping your cool, J.

Mikey081057

TonyB and I would tell you to have stayed and made sure sausage was the special tomorrow.

Seriously I would retain an attorney and sue for workplace hostility and make the effer pay... They always settle and you will have some cash for some new gear. Any witnesses?

Dennis Gardner

No big loss in this scenario. Take the weekend off, go eat at some prospective restaurants on Saturday and Sunday, meet the managers, set up some interviews for next week. You will do better than working with some one that blows up this easy. It is only a matter of time before his walls fall down around him and you might have been that first brick to fall.

Good luck, there is always someone looking for good kitchen staff!

Nightfall

The owners are texting me now.

"We really need you Josh. From what we heard of the others that were there "George" was in the wrong here. If you would be willing to come back he will not be allowed in the kitchen during your shift."

BlueFox

Good for you. Principles count. Glad you are in a position where you can actually act, versus mentally fuming, like many of us.

Dennis Gardner

Sounds like the ball is in your court. Aim for his nnutts.

Mikey081057

Sounds like the owners are afraid of a lawsuit. They are responsible for allowing his behavior to exist without rectifying it.

BlueFox

Be sure to get a raise, and a 'mental strife' bonus.

motorhead43026

It will never be the same, If nothing else go back long enough until you find something else.

lightman1

And all the filet mignon you can stand!

txcoastal1

Other than the d-bag are you happy there. Have a sit down if you're happy there. Maybe they decide to kick him out. If it's tolerable stay while you're looking for another job. Just don't mention it to anyone.

Jazzhead

Sorry you had to be on the receiving end of that... There's no excuse for that sort of treatment in the workplace.

Nightfall

I used to work two jobs, job A and job B, (this is when I was buying all sorts of new to me gear, speakers, and records) then job A closed for the winter so I only worked at job B. Then about a month ago job B closed down for remodeling and opening under a new name with very little notice to the employees. This is when I was forced to find job C - the one this thread is about, and currently my only job. It was probably pretty stupid to walk out on my only job with nothing lined up but it happened. Job B will be reopening in maybe around two weeks, and I have a position there if I want it.

I'm thinking I'll go back to job C after chatting with the owners and as long as I don't have any more issues with "George" I'll soon be working two jobs again. If I continue to have issues with him I'll quit after job B reopens and go find a different second job. Hopefully that all makes sense.

I can get by just fine working one full time job but working two is very key if I want to keep buying as many records and upgrading my rig as I have been. Someone has been holding a turntable and cartridge I'm very excited about buying as I have been going through all of this and I can't wait for job B to open back up, I'm dying of turntable anticipation.

Nightfall

txcoastal1 wrote: »

Other than the d-bag are you happy there. Have a sit down if you're happy there. Maybe they decide to kick him out. If it's tolerable stay while you're looking for another job. Just don't mention it to anyone.

I've had zero problem aside from the dbag.

BlueFox

Yes, an A/B test, with a C thrown in.

msg

[a lot of this has been said since I started writing, but I'll leave for you anyway]

Josh, wow man, that sounded pretty rough.
Being forced to dance around an abuser can be soul crushing.

Lots of good feedback here from the guys.
Tough situation. Gotta make you feel good at least having the owners after you to come back. Also sounds like the guy knew he was in the wrong almost immediately after, and was trying to cover, afraid for the consequences of his actions. Bunch of expletives come to mind to classify that jerk. We all have bad days, but that guy definitely sounds out of control and abusive. I don't care how rough your life is, there's no excuse to behave that way consistently toward those around you, taking your frustrations out on others.

I agree with the others here - have a good talk with the owners to debrief, see what they have to say, and if you think you can manage it, sit tight there to keep the paychecks coming in, and this will give you the opportunity to take your time to find something else you really want.

I admire you for your ability to keep your cool under the circumstances. Nicely done, I know it's hard. Remember that moving forward, and do your best to always conduct yourself that way. Except of course in cases where a dude clearly needs to be whacked across the face with a heavy skillet. double handed.

F1nut

^ That's a solid plan, go with it. ^

EndersShadow

Sounds like you've got your head on right about the situation and handled it properly.

There are days I wish I COULD pickup a second job, doing audio at a local HiFi shop. Not for wages but for gear at dealer prices lol...

Wife won't let me as I'd have a full blown anthem/paradigm setup downstairs and who know what in the loft lol....

Moose68Bash

Don't file a law suit. If you do, you may never find another good job.

Talk to the owners and go back to work for them, not George, on terms you can live with, at least temporarily.

If things are not satisfactory, find an alternative job and leave under good terms.

honestaquarian

I've had the same sort of issues with my manager at my job on occasion. As I have shown here repeatedly I DO NOT like bullies and people who think they can just say whatever they want to or about someone and then blame that person when they respond. I simply gave back ALL of the attitude and the vocal volume and made it clear to him that he WAS NOT going to get the last word.
I do that just to piss people off when they are acting that way.
This works for some people and not for others.
I was raised by a woman who worked for the labor department for most of my life before she passed. So I had the mantra of "NEVER quit a job unless you have one waiting for you" drilled into me for many,many years.
I applaud you for keeping your cool and leaving.
Not sure I could have done the same.

F1nut

You've got issues.

BlueFox

LOL. An astute observation when someone says, "I do that just to piss people off when they are acting that way." The OP is more mature, and in control now. Plus he can turn this incident into a positive.

honestaquarian

@Nightfall
Despite ^SOME ^ people's desire to highjack your thread and start hurling nonsense at other people for NO apparent reason. Again I applaud you and hope that the whole situation works out in your favor.

You did the right thing

F1nut

honestaquarian wrote: »

As I have shown here repeatedly I DO NOT like bullies and people who think they can just say whatever they want to or about someone and then blame that person when they respond. I simply gave back ALL of the attitude and the vocal volume and made it clear to him that he WAS NOT going to get the last word.
I do that just to piss people off when they are acting that way.

The irony being that by doing what you state above, you are actually the person you think you are railing against.

mikeyb128

Working two jobs sounds tough man. I've worked with plenty of a holes, and have definitely walked out on the job before. Sounds like the ball is in your court, and if you do like the job, as others have said maybe it's best to sit down with the head honchos and tell them how you feel. It doesn't hurt. Unfortunately you have to work with people you don't like, and what's even worse you have to pretend to like them. Not saying what this guy did was right.

I bust my **** to buy gear too. Always saving to one up myself. This hobby is dam expensive, but the best part is going home and enjoying the fruits of our labor, the music.

tonyb

Sucks man, but....that's life bro. Whats that saying again....if you can't stand the heat in the kitchen.....?

Obviously what the guy did was wrong, but you have to grow some thick skin at times to get past these things. You should see the construction industry, you think that's verbal abuse ? lol

Everyone has their own level of tolerance in these matters, usually guided by pride and a need for the paycheck. Sooner or later, one has to take a backseat to the other.

Hope it all works out for you....chin up.

BDT

Couple things here.....

For those that are saying sue for hostile work environment.....aaaahhh, no. One, ever work in a kitchen? Two, in F&B...it's a smallish community and people talk. In every job, there are **** and sometimes you get an **** chewing for no reason. It just is....

Now, I would ask.....did you label the container? As an owner, if I see something covered and not labeled that's a no-no. Labeled and dated. Most states, that's becoming a mandatory thing. All I'm saying is if someone asks me about where something is.....but it's not labeled and dated and annotated on the prep sheet, it's just something in a container and wrapped and stuck in the cooler...that will make me crazy. Again, I don't know the situation and I'm on your side...but as an owner, stuff just laying around not labeled/accounted for = waste = money down the drain.

As for the KM being a ****....look, what he does personally, that's between him and his family...substance abuse and family issues are two cornerstones of career F&B. I'm not condoning but it just is. It sounds to me like the owner(s) aren't involved....which that's not my way. However, I would say when you interview...ask questions. I encourage folks to ask how I do things/how I handle things.

Bottom line for me would be that it's not a good setting for you. There are always opportunities for good kitchen staff so finding another job shouldn't be all that difficult but I'd also make sure it's a good fit before I took the job.....but, remember, jackasses are a fact of life in any occupation.

BDT

breal74

I could use you in my kitchen out here in Portland!

It is incredibly hard to find people to even respond to an ad for a job right now. I have never seen anything like this in my 23 years in the kitchen.

daboyz

For me, Tony and Troy hit the nail on the head. No way you can sue, waste of time and stress you don't need. If the owners address it that's the best you can hope for.

As far as honestaq's response, TOTALLY THE WRONG THING TO DO. I'm dumbfounded with that advice. Why escalate a situation? I'm hoping that is the dumbest thing I read/see today.