Lost my best friend :(

nguyendot
nguyendot Posts: 3,594
in The Clubhouse
Today I laid to rest my best friend. We've lost a lot of people along the way, but this one stung the most. I don't have a lot of friends and we don't socialize a lot. I somehow was hoping my friend Julio would be around forever, teaching me the ways of the world as he always had. This year would have been the 10th year I knew him.

I only found out about his pancreatic cancer diagnosis 4 months ago, and sadly he passed away on the 10th of this month. I hadn't seen him in 3 of those months because we were so busy and he was going through chemo quote a bit with his family around. It's odd to feel so much pain for someone that we really only saw every quarter or so. There was always such an impact when we hung out.

This is the only person who took us in for holidays when my own parents shunned my wife and I years ago. There was a time that we didn't get invited to Christmas/Thanksgiving/etc since I moved out. I distinctly remember one Thanksgiving my wife cooked an entire turkey day dinner, and Julio called to invite us over to his parents house for a feast. We shelved/refrigerated everything as soon as it came out of the oven and headed over. My wife was so mad at me that day, but today we just laughed and appreciated it more. He made us family, and that extended into when I had my daughter. His family was our family.

He was always known as a fairly hardy, tough guy. He was short but he could get things done magnitudes larger than his stature. Contrary to this image, when my daughter was with us over at their house he would go into the back and grab a bag full of nail things and proceed to paint my daughter's tiny nails with such delicacy. I ask her now who does her nails and she responds "Julio". It makes me cry to hear that, knowing it will never happen again.

There are so many stories, so many things to remember and celebrate. Today we laid him to rest. I could not go to his viewings the past 3 days. Not because I was busy, or because I was too far away - but rather because I could not bear to see him ravaged by the chemo and cancer. He was always so strong, and the last time we saw him and took him out to eat he was still strong. I want to remember him that way, always. I feel I may regret that decision (it was closed casket today), I really don't know.

I am glad that unlike my previous close friend that we lost in 2009, he was able to see me accomplish some of the great things in my life. Namely getting married, buying a house, and having a daughter.

I know wherever he is, he's at peace and watching over all of those he loves.
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Bedroom - Sharp Aquos 70" 650 / Pioneer SC-1222k / Polk RT-55 / Polk CS-250

Den - Rotel RSP-1068 / Threshold CAS-2 / Boston VR-M60 / BDP-05FD
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Comments

  • F1nut
    F1nut Posts: 50,739
    I'm truly sorry for your terrible loss.
    Political Correctness'.........defined

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  • agfrost
    agfrost Posts: 2,430
    I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like Julio was a very special friend. It's wonderful to have one of those friends who, even when it's been a long time since you've seen them, you pick up right where you left off. You'll always have those memories of what made him so treasured to you. Cherish them.

    Hang in there.

    Jay
    Jay
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  • erniejade
    erniejade Posts: 6,321
    Im sorry for your loss. Cancer SUCKS!
    Klipsch The Nines, Audioquest Thunderbird Interconnect, Innuos Zen MK3 W4S recovery, Revolution Audio Labs USB & Ethernet, Border Patrol SE-I, Audioquest Niagara 5000 & Thunder, Cullen Crossover II PC's.
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  • Willow
    Willow Posts: 11,057
    I am sorry for your loss. My condolences
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  • westmassguy
    westmassguy Posts: 6,850
    Sorry for your loss.
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  • pumpkinman
    pumpkinman Posts: 9,898
    My sincere condolences. It is wonderful that you had such a terrific friend.
    lmivdewpnb28.jpg


    Because I am The Pumpkinking


    A Kind Word Is An Easy Gift To Give
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  • boston1450
    boston1450 Posts: 7,671
    Sorry for your loss. Remember those great memories as time seems to fly bye in our busy lives. Prayers out to all in these troubled times
    ..
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  • dromunds
    dromunds Posts: 10,023
    My sincerest condolences.
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  • tonyb
    tonyb Posts: 33,004
    Ditto on all the above. Always painful to lose those we love.
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  • MrBuhl
    MrBuhl Posts: 2,419
    I am so sorry for your los, I'm sure your friend was as proud to call you friend as you are him.
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  • tophatjohnny
    tophatjohnny Posts: 4,182
    Sorry for your loss and just a reminder to the short visit we all have here in this life.
    "if it's not fun, it's not worth it & remember folks, "It's All About The Music"!!
    *****************************
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  • aprazer402
    aprazer402 Posts: 3,149
    So sorry for your loss of a true friend, they are sometimes hard to find and harder to keep. Consider the fine people on this forum as your friends.
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  • jeremymarcinko
    jeremymarcinko Posts: 3,785
    Sorry for your loss.
    Oh, Listen here mister. We got no way of understandin' this world. But we got as much sense of this bird flyin in the sky. Now there is a lot that bird don't know, but it don't change the fact that the world is happening to him all the same. What I am tryin to say is, is that the course of your life, well its changing, and you don't even see it- Forest Bondurant
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  • voltz
    voltz Posts: 5,384
    Sorry for you loss, thanks for sharing this with us!
    2 ch- Polk CRS+ * Vincent SA-31MK Preamp * Vincent Sp-331 Amp * Marantz SA8005 SACD * Project Xperience Classic TT * Sumiko Blue Point #2 MC cartridge

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  • cfrizz
    cfrizz Posts: 13,415
    My deepest condolences.
    Marantz AV-7705 PrePro, Classé 5 channel 200wpc Amp, Oppo 103 BluRay, Rotel RCD-1072 CDP, Sony XBR-49X800E TV, Polk S60 Main Speakers, Polk ES30 Center Channel, Polk S15 Surround Speakers SVS SB12-NSD x2
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  • pitdogg2
    pitdogg2 Posts: 25,677
    My condolences stuff like this is never easy.
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  • Mikey081057
    Mikey081057 Posts: 7,127
    The bond between friends cannot be broken by chance; no interval of time or space can destroy it. Not even death itself can part true friends.
    My New Year's resolution is 3840 × 2160

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  • Moose68Bash
    Moose68Bash Posts: 3,843
    I am sorry for your loss of your great friend Julio and send you my sincere sympathy.

    Keep him and memories of him in your heart and mind forever.
    Family Room, Innuos Statement streamer (Roon Core) with Morrow Audio USB cable to McIntosh MC 2700 pre with DC2 Digital Audio Module; AQ Sky XLRs to CAT 600.2 dualmono amp, Morrow Elite Speaker Cables to NOLA Baby Grand Reference Gold 3 speakers. Power source for all components: Silver Circle Audio Pure Power One with dedicated 20 amp circuit to main panel.

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  • cnh
    cnh Posts: 13,284
    Good friends, lifelong friends, hard to come by, hard to find. We have so "few" of them, ever. And once they leave, so does a part of ourselves. Sorry for you loss! It's always hard.
    Currently orbiting Bowie's Blackstar.!

    Polk Lsi-7s, Def Tech 8" sub, HK 3490, HK HD 990 (CDP/DAC), AKG Q701s
    [sig. changed on a monthly basis as I rotate in and out of my stash]
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  • nguyendot
    nguyendot Posts: 3,594
    Thanks guys, this is why I tell people who come here to the forums that we're more than just people on a board. This is a place that even though I don't come every day (sometimes I do...), I know that everyone is understanding and it goes beyond just words on a forum.

    I appreciate your kind words. Today I woke up with a renewed sense of purpose, and I want to honor Julio by giving one thing my best.
    Main Surround -
    Epson 8350 Projector/ Elite Screens 120" / Pioneer Elite SC-35 / Sunfire Signature / Focal Chorus 716s / Focal Chorus CC / Polk MC80 / Polk PSW150 sub

    Bedroom - Sharp Aquos 70" 650 / Pioneer SC-1222k / Polk RT-55 / Polk CS-250

    Den - Rotel RSP-1068 / Threshold CAS-2 / Boston VR-M60 / BDP-05FD
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  • scubalab
    scubalab Posts: 3,105
    So sorry for your loss. Deepest condolences.
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  • Nightfall
    Nightfall Posts: 10,086
    nguyendot wrote: »
    I want to honor Julio by giving one thing my best.

    What would that be? Sorry to hear about Julio. Your "one thing" will keep his spirit alive, I'm sure he would be happy.
    afterburnt wrote: »
    They didn't speak a word of English, they were from South Carolina.

    Village Idiot of Club Polk
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  • Thorton
    Thorton Posts: 1,324
    Sorry for your loss.
    _____________________________________________________________________________________________
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  • steveinaz
    steveinaz Posts: 19,538
    God bless bud, very sorry about your friend.
    Source: Bluesound Node 2i - Preamp/DAC: Benchmark DAC2 DX - Amp: Parasound Halo A21 - Speakers: MartinLogan Motion 60XTi - Shop Rig: Yamaha A-S501 Integrated - Shop Spkrs: Elac Debut 2.0 B5.2
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  • JuanR
    JuanR Posts: 718
    so sorry for your loss, I lost a best friend back in high school. Celebrate the good moments you two shared by remembering the good times and knowing he would prefer you keep a positive mental attitude.
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  • ken brydson
    ken brydson Posts: 8,781
    Sorry man...
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  • starkiller
    starkiller Posts: 2,723
    Wow, very touching and moving eulogy! Perhaps the intense pain you feel with him now gone is why I do not have any real close friends. I do not wish to feel that that pain. Trying to psychoanalyze myself isn't working well but I envy those years you had with him being such a good friend, mentor and teacher! Good luck to you and your family.
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  • WagnerRC
    WagnerRC Posts: 2,161
    Sorry for your loss. Rip
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  • nguyendot
    nguyendot Posts: 3,594
    Nightfall wrote: »
    nguyendot wrote: »
    I want to honor Julio by giving one thing my best.

    What would that be? Sorry to hear about Julio. Your "one thing" will keep his spirit alive, I'm sure he would be happy.

    Today it was clean out the garage. But what I'm going to do to continue his legacy is paint my daughters nails and remind her every single time who inspired me to do it. I will tell her daddy's best friend Julio is who she should remember first did that. I've never done it before, so now is the time to learn.
    Main Surround -
    Epson 8350 Projector/ Elite Screens 120" / Pioneer Elite SC-35 / Sunfire Signature / Focal Chorus 716s / Focal Chorus CC / Polk MC80 / Polk PSW150 sub

    Bedroom - Sharp Aquos 70" 650 / Pioneer SC-1222k / Polk RT-55 / Polk CS-250

    Den - Rotel RSP-1068 / Threshold CAS-2 / Boston VR-M60 / BDP-05FD
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  • Joey_V
    Joey_V Posts: 8,584
    Sorry man... be well.

    I lost my best friend to liver cancer when he was 31.
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