An American Christmas Story, gimpod style

gimpod · December 2014

You've been up all night wrapping gift's and doing all the last minute stuff for Christmas morning. It's around 3:00 am by the time you get to bed, Then around 4:30 am (If your lucky) your brood of little h.ell-spawns come bursting in your room all wired up like they've been up all night eating raw sugar and smoking meth waking you up, so out you go to open presents because you know your not going to get them to go back to bed.

Now it's around your sixth or seventh cup of coffee and it's still dark out when there all done opening gifts when one of them sitting in what can only be described as a mountain of toys says "Is this all I get?". Lucky for you your wife is there to keep you from strangling the ungrateful little h.ell-spawn to death!

Just think your day is only beginning, It only gets worse from here. You've still got the 27 trips to the store for batteries, whipping cream, cranberry sauce and whatever else you forgot to get for Christmas dinner that the wife is making for the 25 guest's that will be showing up latter of which 20 are so called relatives (you think cause you only see them at funerals, weddings, Christmas and New Years), It really doesn't matter invited or not because they still show up to eat all your food and drink all your booze.

By 8:00 pm if your lucky the h.ell-spawn's are crapped out and in bed so as not to witness this next part, mean while everybody's wasted off you booze and somebody has started a fight that quickly get's out of hand to the point that a neighbor ends up calling the police and if your really lucky your not in the half of the friends and family that end up going to jail for assault and/or drunk and disorderly. But hey don't worry they'll all get out in time to come back and do it all over again for New Years.

Now that's a real American family Christmas.

All kidding aside,
I hope you All have a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Safe New Year.

EndersShadow · December 2014

Best wishes to you and yours from my wife Tasha, my daughter Skye and myself!

May God bless you and keep you!

Polkie2009 · December 2014

Enjoyed the story ,lol, I think all of us can relate to some of it,lol. Blessings to you and yours sir!

gudnoyez · December 2014

As long as one of them family members didn't empty out the old RV toilet tank in the street in front of your house it sounds like a Christmas a lot of us experience. IF you survived the little hellions then you did good oh just don't bail out the rowdy ones and perhaps you will get lucky next week on New Years eve. You and the liquor cabinet will be better off without the riff raff, glad to hear you enjoyed your Christmas.