Opinion

sda2mike

maybe he's not a friend? somehow, let him know what you think would be the best solution to resolve his debt to you...then, if that fails, by all means sell his sht

VR3

I can assure you that I owe no one money. Atleast not someone who does not lend money on a regular basis (banks) -

This thread is a subject I have thought about for a few months and I am really trying to organize my s@#t around here and move things out and streamline my process of things...

The money at this point is not really an issue - money is money. It really comes down to someones word which is far more important to me.

Either way - I appreciate the information, suggestions and opinions in this thread.

I will have to decide ultimately what I will do.

Thank you, once more.

Demiurge

Well, you're not being very specific so people are going to make assumptions.

Here's mine. If he left crap laying around your place for a year +, won't allow you to get in contact with him, then he doesn't want to and he's abandoned it.

If you don't care about ever reconciling with this person, sell his crap and move on with your life.

People who will jerk you around with money are not worth keeping as friends. It's not about the money, it's about the kind of person they are.

A ****.

steveinaz

In situations like this, I write it off to a lesson learned. Don't compromise your integrity, because someone else doesn't have any. Mark him off the friend list, and give him his stuff back if you can, if not--donate it. Taking the high road has never left me feeling bad.

Joe08867

steveinaz wrote: »

In situations like this, I write it off to a lesson learned. Don't compromise your integrity, because someone else doesn't have any. Mark him off the friend list, and give him his stuff back if you can, if not--donate it. Taking the high road has never left me feeling bad.

Honestly the best suggestion I have heard so far.

The High Road has always felt good to me.:biggrin:

madmax

Send him a registered letter saying you either want to be paid back or are selling the stuff six months later. Give him a date to respond by (6 months from the date of receipt of the letter) and the date of the sale, 6 months and one day. I used to work at a retail store and this is what we did with things left for repair which were not picked up. There was something legal about the 6 month time period I believe, otherwise they would have thrown away after a month. You should probably check to see what is legal in your state. His stuff is his and he can sue you whether he pays you back or not.

VR3

Steveinaz - I like your idea.

steveinaz

Don't let someone elses bad karma have a negative impact on you brother.

When I help a close friend or family member out, I always tell them the money is a "gift." So I only put myself in that situation rarely; when I'm sure the person is deserving. Most of the time, people needing to borrow money are obviously in a situation where the last thing they need to think about is how they are going to pay it back, no? So, if I choose to help them--I do it with no expectation of being repaid; and I tell them that so there is no tension/bad blood between us.

cstmar01

SolidSqual wrote: »

If you wanted to be a real ****, send him a notice that you intend to charge fair market price for storing his stuff. Let it sit for several months. Then take him to small claims for back payments. Get a judgment lien against him and garnish his wages. Just saying . . .

awesome.

or if he has a house the lien can be applied to his home and start a foreclosure against him, that might get his attention. (at least in the state of WI, your rules and laws maybe different).

Its safe to say I think he's abadoned the items and if he really wanted them then would have contacted you or called you back. I would try one more time and state that if they are not gone and you are not paid within the next day you will sell the items and any deficiency would be owed to you.

heiney9

cstmar01 wrote: »

awesome.

or if he has a house the lien can be applied to his home and start a foreclosure against him, that might get his attention. (at least in the state of WI, your rules and laws maybe different).

It's the same in IL, but hardly worth it for all the expense it is to foreclose. Unless of course he owes you a LOT of money and you can prove it.

H9

Jstas

Do yourself some research and find out what the definition of a lien holder is. Just like a pawn broker, a lien holder has taken something as collateral in exchange for funds borrowed or goods or services rendered until such a time that repayment can be made. Then the lien is dissolved and the borrower receives the items back. If the loan is not repaid in full before a certain time, the lien holder reserves the right to claim the property and sell it off to recoup the losses from the defaulted loan.

You do not necessarily have to be in a legally binding contract for such things. If you have his stuff and it equates to what the value of the loan was, you are within your rights as the lien holder to, after a concerted effort to collect the loan, seek to recover your funds from the items upon which the lien is held. Even if the items were not necessarily put up as collateral.

I know in NJ, that if someone bolts and leaves their junk behind, if they make no effort to arrange collection of their things by way of personal intervention or some sort of correspondence expressing intention, after 30 days it is legally abandoned and free salvage.

Check your local laws concerning personal loans, liens and abandonment of property. After a year of BS, I'm betting that you qualify in all respects.

I had a friend do similar shenanigans to me. Every so often I send him threatening letters to make sure he remembers that I haven't forgotten. But the stuff he "borrowed" is pretty much a loss and anything he left behind was long since given away or sold on eBay for enough cash to cover the costs of shipping it. I wish it had only cost me $20 to get rid of him but it didn't. Chalk it up to experience.

Once you find out what you can and can't do, unload his stuff at a charity. Most will give you tax documents. Claim the lost loan on your taxes and take the charitable deduction as well. It won't come close to covering what you lost but it'll keep you out of legal troubles and you'll recoup some of your losses in your tax bill. Then sit back, have a beer and be glad you took out the trash.

Jstas

cstmar01 wrote: »

awesome.

or if he has a house the lien can be applied to his home and start a foreclosure against him, that might get his attention. (at least in the state of WI, your rules and laws maybe different).

Its safe to say I think he's abadoned the items and if he really wanted them then would have contacted you or called you back. I would try one more time and state that if they are not gone and you are not paid within the next day you will sell the items and any deficiency would be owed to you.

In many states, for a personal loan, you do not necessarily have to establish a payment timeframe nor a basis for any accrued interest or fees. Typically you just need to show some sort of evidence that money was borrowed, payment collection has been attempted and the borrower is delinquent to the point of reasonable default.

But going through the legal process for foreclosure will cost you thousands of dollars in order to collect a couple hundred. Not a reasonable way to get your money.

dkg999

Just pawn the stuff and if he wants it back he can go pay off the loan.

opus

Since I dont know what type of friend he is to you I can only tell you what I would do.

If I had a "true" friend who owed me money I would not even think off selling his gear or pawning it or suing him. Hell, we are buddies. I may bust his balls once in a while but I would wait for him to make it right. If he thinks of you as a friend also, he will.

Be the bigger man, you wont feel any better getting a couple of bucks from a pawnshop.

YMMV

kevin

Erik Tracy

Since the money is not the issue - I'm behind the idea of just donating it.

You did you due diligence of trying to contact said friend, kept his **** for over a year, he won't contact you....gitterdone and outtahere.

AsSiMiLaTeD

I agree with Steve 100%

Tony M

You LENT him your money and he was to pay it back. He could be sick but him ignoring you since means that his promise has failed.

He has not paid you back and he is ignoring your tries to reach him. Sell his stuff to get YOUR MONEY back. He OWES you doesn't he? Sell it...

Polkersince85

Money and friends are a good magic trick. Mix them together and they both just disappear.

Tony M

Polkersince85 wrote: »

Money and friends are a good magic trick. Mix them together and they both just disappear.

Happens with money and family too..:frown:

decal

Money and friends are a good magic trick. Mix them together and they both just disappear.

Happens with money and family too..

Sad, but true a lot of the time.

blueboxer

Just don't sale my crossover parts!!! Finally go the iNova in place and am doing some listening on the ST's so I can do a good comparison once the modified crossovers make it in. LOL

TECHNOKID

steveinaz wrote: »

Don't let someone elses bad karma have a negative impact on you brother.

When I help a close friend or family member out, I always tell them the money is a "gift." So I only put myself in that situation rarely; when I'm sure the person is deserving. Most of the time, people needing to borrow money are obviously in a situation where the last thing they need to think about is how they are going to pay it back, no? So, if I choose to help them--I do it with no expectation of being repaid; and I tell them that so there is no tension/bad blood between us.

Polkersince85 wrote: »

Money and friends are a good magic trick. Mix them together and they both just disappear.

tony millard wrote: »

Happens with money and family too..:frown:

I hate to jeopardize friendship or worse damage family relations over a few bucks so to me steveinaz attitude toward such is the best approach.

I went through a few experiences of the sort;

The first one, I lent $75 (early 1990 I believe) to a single mom (friend) so she could feed her son. On that same day in the evening, the young lady was playing the money in a slot machine. The money never served her son's welfare, I never seen that money back either. I probably wouldn't have cared much about getting the money back if it had served the purpose it was intended for but seeing her wasting the blessing she could have used to care for her son made a big difference. Never commented about not getting back my money but as steveinaz mentioned, I wrote off both the money and the friend.

Another instance was with a good friend of mine. He had money issues and I had fridge issue (did not want to spend 100s of $$$ at this time but needed a replacement). My buddy had a small used bar fridge which he offered so I lended him the money he wanted. This little fridge had sentimental value to him so we made a deal he would be able to get it back once he was able to give the borrowed money back. In the mean time, I bought my new fridge and just move his bar fridge aside. The fridge stayed in my home for maybe a year or so. I didn't care less as we made a deal and I felt my buddy was not getting a ride from me but was ratter fair and trying to pull his own. He finally paid his due and got his fridge back. If he hadn't been able to make it I would have eventually given him his fridge back anyway since I felt comfortable and satisfied about his effort and integrity. We still consider each others as friends.

Here at work, there as been some occasions where some asked to borrow money from me and I felt uncomfortable about doing so and always refused finding appropriate excuses not to do so and this paid off as I never lost either money or friendship. On some other occasions, I offered the help but unconditionally and it again paid of as the coworkers relation is great and no one needs to hide or find excuses for not pulling through any commitment.

As far as family, I took this even more seriously. One of my kid sister often was lacking money to feed her young family and at times we would agree on some small loans. I actually never considered as loan as if she wasn't able to repay, she was my sister afterall and her children were family and as a big brother I felt it was a loving responsibility to take care of my younger family members. I don't even recall if she could ever afford to repay the monies or not but all I know is through the years she repaid so much out of family love. So many times she opened her family home to me and my own when travelling from military posts to go down see the family. Never ever was any mention of providing money for the extra costs I was bringing into her home.

Now, my sons mother family have this way of doing things I never could understand. Asking family members for money for services, deals on borrowed monies etc. I never mentioned anything to my sons about such family dealings but they seem to know better. They will not ask me to borrow any money from me however, I will still provide for them in other ways then $$$ and this without them asking and always out of questions to repay anything. To me, family and loved ones is not a business affair and if at all possible will be given to them but as steveinaz mentions, it is a gift out of love witout any expectation of repayment. As so often mentioned here, KARMA will take care of repayment (actually, family members has on few occasions offered unconditional help in the past).