tales from the crypt -- er i mean under the hood...

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Well verdict is in....


and i had to skip class to get it done too.

my mother is like "they're gonna spit in your burger and piss in your cheerios... u better not go to class".

so i didn't. -- glad i didn't.

me - "hi i had an appt. i need a new catalytic converter, the old one is shot... i'm under the 80k limit, can u have it done by noon?"

guy - "............................ *lookin around* probably, there's a 75 dollar diagnostic fee to determine that it is the cat"

me - "no, i dont want diagnostics... i know its the cat, change the cat. and let me clear this up now... you put truck on lift, you do whatever you need to do on your own time to confirm it is the cat, and then you change out my cat and bring it back down... if by some freak of nature its not the cat, drop it down, leave it alone, and put it on the side... charge me for diagnostic in that case if you want. but you are not authorized for any other repair or work on my truck."

guy - "um... ok. ...."

*interrupting*
me- "and dont f*** up my dual exhaust either"

guy - "you have an aftermarket exhaust?"

me - "yes, its from the cat back - atually its from one inch behind the oxygen sensor back, conforms with all state and federal laws, and due to its placement has no effect on the functional parts of the stock exhaust nor the motor, so dont even try to talk about warranty with me."

guy - "well you have no warranty - you voided it, that's not a chyrlser exhaust, you have no warranty period."

me - "that is not within your power to declare, the part put on the vehicle did not cause the stock part failure, and as such you cannot nullify my warranty."

guy - "look, we'll look at the truck, if we think its warrantable, we'll help you out, if not - you're going to pay for diagnostic and the cat".

me - "i'll be right back".

** i walk out to caddy - and get my two pages printed off SEMA **

i then proceed to read to him sections from the magnuson-moss act, and then restate the clean air act to him half verbatim.

he's telling me to shut up the entire time - as customers stand by listening to the entire thing.

but do i shut up? nay i say.

when i'm done, he says "that has nothing to do with this "

me- "if i put an alternator in my truck, and its aftermarket, is my warranty void on the motor?"

guy - "that's a different story"

me - "no its not"

guy - "look do you want us to do this or no?"

me - "you're legally bound to do it -- chrylser is bound to have one of its dealers repair my cat free of charge by law - if you dont believe me, then you can talk to the EPA about it."

guy - "epa has nothing to do with chrysler"

me - "who's your five star rep?"

guy - "he's in detroit"

me - "who's your boss?"

guy - "he's in detroit"

me - "give me the phone..."

guy - "why?"

me - "because if eveyone is in detroit them i'm calling detroit." *as my mother pulls out my list of state by state phone numbers for chrysler corporate*.

guy - "give me the keys"

me - "why?"

guy - "we'll put on a new converter"

that's the end of part one.... wanna hear part two ?

****$hole mechanic who was working on it looked like Lenny from "of mice and men" -- you know the guy from "Coach" tv show... big blonde dummy.

he unhooks every hanger for the cat back exhaust, and then proceeds to sledge hammer my muffler off the front pipe... after swing number one, my not so happy voice bellowed out, "its going through the back of your skull next time you pull that ****."

.... he was displeased with me from the get go i suppose.

you guys can get the picture that the next 4 hours were a living nightmare as i periodically sat under the truck telling the **** what not do.

by the time he was done he had let out about 100 curses of one form or another -- he wasn't too happy he had to cut the back pipe of hte new converter.

when he put it all back together he had the two back pipes hanging one vertically 6 inches below the other.

i informed him of it -- he's like "well what do you want?"

... as if i had to answre the question.

one of the managers walks over and is like "well just bend the pipe."

i'm like "and you want to pay to get me two new pipes that match then, eh son?"

... i always like calling older - retarded - people "son"... makes em mad.

he's like "Well who put this on? -- you need to take it back to them and tell them that they did it wrong."

i'm like "I put it on - and had the driver side pipe custom fabricated - and it was perfect when i came in here -- its been perfect for a week -- your monkey here screwed it up, and you're not modifying it to correct it, you're going to make it right, period."

20 minutes later its close enough that i figure i can make it right when i get some time to sit under there and balanace the rear pipes again.

lets just say i'm utterly disgusted that the one place that i pretty much trusted turns out to be kinda ****.

at least they're not "FIN HORRIBLE" like everywhere else...

i swear to god i'm just going to learn everything about cars and do all my own fin work.

truck doesn't make that aweful noise any more.... but i've noticed a slight decrease in preformance -- which i'm guessing is due to increased back pressure... one of these days i want to pull the cat off -- gut it and put it back on.

but i'm ok with it - and thats whats important to me right now.

*sigh*

anyway - least its done.

now onto figureing out the whistle bug.

guy said it could be the gasket between the intake manifold and the motor ?? is there even a gasket there? i thought it was silicone??