THE OFFICIAL I'm bored out of my mind at work on a Friday Thread

LiquidSound

Not to mention people problems.

LiquidSound

At least you're ready for a trap.

LiquidSound

With some backup.

LiquidSound

For your new "phat" ride.

LiquidSound

Then your job sucks.

LiquidSound

And you wake up to a Mantis nightmare..*sorry dan*

LiquidSound

Thats IT, Im DONE.

heh..no really, don't wait for the credits.

Ron-P

I think you guys need a big cup of...

Ron-P

...and with that, you can enjoy some nice...

Polk-a-nizer

Amuse yourself with these thoughts my friend.

~You are not REAL, you are GOD'S DREAM.
~Reality is an illusion, based upon a dream from a GOD that does not SLEEP.
~If you EXPECT the UNEXPECTED, does'nt that make the UNEXPECTED... EXPECTED?
**Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?
**If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
**Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
**What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
**Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
**Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
**When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're sitting there, staring at carpeting?
**If someone has a mid-life crises while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
**Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them, would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
**Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
**If a funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
**If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
**Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
**What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
**Why is bra singular and panties plural?
**Why do they report power outages on TV?
**If a man overdoses on Viagra, how do they get the casket lid shut?
**If the insurance companies are going to set guidelines before approving Viagra coverage, what are they going to use? A growth chart?
**If a light-sleeper sleeps with a light on, what does a hard-sleeper sleep with?
**Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?
**If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
**Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
**You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
**If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
**Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
**Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
**Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?
**Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?
**Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
**If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
**Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
**Why is the alphabet in that order?
**If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
**If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
**Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
**Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
**Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?
**If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
**When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
**Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?
**Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
**Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
**Who is General failure and why is he reading my disk?
**The light went out, but where to?
**Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one shirt?
**Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?
**What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?
**When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss?? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
**How come abbreviated is such a long word?
**Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
**How come when you tell a man that there are over 400 billion stars in the sky, he believes you, but when you tell him a bench has wet paint on it, he has to touch it?
**How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
**Do infants have as much fun in their infancy as adults do in adultery?
**If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?
**Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
**How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
**Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
**Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
**Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
**Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
**Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
**What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
**Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
**If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
**Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?
**Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?
**Do married people live longer than single people or does it just SEEM longer?
**If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
**Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?
**Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?
**War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.
**If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
**If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
**Is there another word for synonym?
**Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
**When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
**Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
**Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
**If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
**Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
**Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
**If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
**Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
**Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
**If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
**How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
**If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
**If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2 and not #1?
**If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
**If you're born again, do you have two belly-buttons?
**If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
**Why does the word "sanction" mean both to permit and to prohibit?
**Why does the word cataract mean both a waterfall and an eye defect?
**If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?
**How do a fool and his money get together?
**Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
**What do they use to ship styrofoam?
**How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
**Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
**When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
**Does fuzzy logic tickle?
**Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
**Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?
**Why is it called a TV "set" if there's only one?
**Why does your nose run and your feet smell?
**Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?
**If the opposite of pro is con, is the opposite of progress congress?
**Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?
**Why is it, whether you sit down or sit up, the results are the same?
**Why is it called a "building" when it's already built?
**Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?
**If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?
**How can you "draw a blank"?
**Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllable"?
**Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?
**Why do we sing "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" when we're already there?
**Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
**Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?
**Does a fish get cramps after eating?
**Why do 'slow down' and 'slow up' mean the same thing?
**Why is it when two planes almost collide it's called a 'near miss'. Shouldn't it be called a 'near hit'?
**Why are there Interstate Highways in Hawaii?
**Why do light switches say on/off? When it's on you can see it's on, when it off you can't see to read.
**How do you know when it's an ENDLESS LOOP?
**Why is FOOTball played by hand?
**Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
**Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations where smoking is not permitted?
**Why do 'fat chance' and 'slim chance' mean the same thing?
**Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
**How does the guy who drives the snow plow get to work on snowy mornings?
**If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year then why are there locks on the doors?
**If a cow laughs real hard would milk come out of its nose?
**If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make it stick to pans?
**Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
**Why is it when you transport something by car it's called a shipment, and when you transport something by ship it's called cargo?
**Why does AT&T advertise "Reach Out and Touch Someone" when that's the one thing you can't do with a phone?


__________________
††Polk-A-Nizer~~Ulrich††

LiquidSound

LOTS of Galliger(sp?) in there.

LiquidSound

You wish you were this cool.

LiquidSound

Anybody hungry?

LiquidSound

A vital ingredient for "donkey chowder"

LiquidSound

While it's cooking, you can snack on these.

LiquidSound

Dessert?

LiquidSound

Maybe something sweeter?

LiquidSound

This is just funny.

LiquidSound

Star Wars never tasted so good.

LiquidSound

Wash it down with a quick splash of..

jdhdiggs

Sorry, way to bored at work to let this one die...

http://shop.store.yahoo.com/dependableav/porkaudio.html

Pauly

http://www.malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz/

Pauly

...

Pauly

..

tryrrthg

let's resurrect this thread on a never ending Friday!

RuSsMaN

.

gmorris

turn up the volume for this one....

http://www.people.cornell.edu/pages/slp29/insane.html

gmorris

Michael Jackson has just commissioned his plastic surgeon to do just one more operation.

His request to the surgeon was to do anything to keep people from staring at his nose.

The doctor surprised Michael and came up with a solution. Upon the viewing after the bandages were removed, all agreed that the doctor was creative and the operation was a huge success.

Nobody looked at his nose again.

brettw22

OK, I think that we need to put a lock down on this thread UNLESS IT'S FRIDAY!!!! I'm sitting here bored off my **** at work and was roamin the site and for just a moment in time, I thought it was Friday. Evil I say......EVIL.;)

tryrrthg

http://www.basement-inc.com/portfolio/ibc_monkey.html

http://www.basement-inc.com/portfolio/ibc_arm.html