How do you tell a friend his system sux...and still remain friends?

muncybob
muncybob Posts: 3,032
edited March 2010 in The Clubhouse
Have a close friend and love to get together at his place to shoot some bull & billiards....but, his speakers distort easily and the poor excuse of a subwoofer just gives me a headache. I'm fairly sure it's one of those low end HTIB types. He's been to my place and has commented on how good the music sounds but even when I've dropped hints that his is terrible he's just not getting it! Maybe good sound quality is not a priority to him but unless he does something about it we'll only be going over if we can be outside(his outdoor speakers are a pair I gave him....so no problem there!
Yep, my name really is Bob.
Parasound HCA1500A(indoor sound) and HCA1000(outdoor sound), Dynaco PAS4, Denon DP1200 w/Shure V15 Type V and Jico SAS stylus, Marantz UD7007, Polk L600, Rythmik L12 sub.
Post edited by muncybob on
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  • tcrossma
    tcrossma Posts: 1,301
    edited March 2010
    My advice would be: don't. If he likes them, that's all that matters. When you go over just turn it down a bit so it's not too irritating.
    Speakers: Polk LSi15
    Pre: Adcom GFP-750 with HT Bypass
    Amp: Pass Labs X-150
    CD/DVD Player: Classe CDP-10
    Interconnects: MIT Shortgun S3 Pro XLR
    Speaker cables: MIT MH-750 bi-wire
    TT:Micro Seiki DD-35
    Cartridge:Denon DL-160
    Phono Pre:PS Audio GCPH
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  • wayne3burk
    wayne3burk Posts: 939
    edited March 2010
    Bring earplugs next time -- the ones with bright orange string connecting them -- Eh???
    Yamaha RX-V2700, EMI 711As (front), RCA K-16 (rear), Magnavox Console (Center & TV Stand), Sony SMP-N200 media streamer, Dual 1249 TT =--- Sharp Aquas 60" LCD tellie
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  • Systems
    Systems Posts: 14,873
    edited March 2010
    If he was a real friend, he wouldn't take offense, but listen to what you had to say. Ask you what we could do to make his system sound better, and have an upgrade party:)
    Testing
    Testing
    Testing
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  • Willow
    Willow Posts: 10,999
    edited March 2010
    the same way you'd tell him his wife or GF are butt ugly!

    either do it when you're both drunk or the right thing, don't say anything. Unless he asks.
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  • concealer404
    concealer404 Posts: 7,440
    edited March 2010
    Just make sure you're handing him a beer at the same time.
    I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.

    Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii

    Desk: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / ISK HD9999

    Office: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / Dynaco SCA-80Q / Paradigm Legend V.3

    HT: Denon AVR-X3400H / Sony UBP-X700 / RT16 / CS350LS / RT7 / SVS PB1000
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  • sda2mike
    sda2mike Posts: 3,131
    edited March 2010
    yeah, i say leave it alone...it might sound like angels to him and yours might not sound so good...if someone criticized my set up, it would mar my sessions for awhile..but, i'd get over it
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  • concealer404
    concealer404 Posts: 7,440
    edited March 2010
    I wish someone would criticize my setup. :(
    I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.

    Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii

    Desk: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / ISK HD9999

    Office: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / Dynaco SCA-80Q / Paradigm Legend V.3

    HT: Denon AVR-X3400H / Sony UBP-X700 / RT16 / CS350LS / RT7 / SVS PB1000
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  • nguyendot
    nguyendot Posts: 3,594
    edited March 2010
    Show him yours. You don't have to say anything at all.

    Or play the same music on yours then his. If he notices, cool, if not.. oh well.

    There are many ways to go about it depending on who the person is. My dad, for example takes my criticism well because he knows that I am or above his level now. Because of this he respects my opinion. That, and he's always in the quest for the best, the most improvement, etc.

    My friends for the most part don't care. Because of this I let them enjoy it however they want. If they ask my opinion, I'll give it to them but usually in a way that gets them the most with what they've got.
    Main Surround -
    Epson 8350 Projector/ Elite Screens 120" / Pioneer Elite SC-35 / Sunfire Signature / Focal Chorus 716s / Focal Chorus CC / Polk MC80 / Polk PSW150 sub

    Bedroom - Sharp Aquos 70" 650 / Pioneer SC-1222k / Polk RT-55 / Polk CS-250

    Den - Rotel RSP-1068 / Threshold CAS-2 / Boston VR-M60 / BDP-05FD
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  • Demiurge
    Demiurge Posts: 10,874
    edited March 2010
    This is easy. You've dropped some hints and he hasn't bit. Maybe he's dense, but maybe he doesn't care and enjoys what he has. Not everyone takes this hobby to the same lengths.

    Let it go and enjoy your friendship and your system.
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  • Knucklehead
    Knucklehead Posts: 3,602
    edited March 2010
    nguyendot wrote: »
    Show him yours. You don't have to say anything at all.



    :eek::eek::D:p sorry, that was funny.
    Polk Audio Surround Bar 360
    Mirage PS-12
    LG BDP-550
    Motorola HD FIOS DVR
    Panasonic 42" Plasma
    XBOX 360[/SIZE]

    Office stuff

    Allied 395 receiver
    Pioneer CDP PD-M430
    RT8t's & Wharfedale Diamond II's[/SIZE]

    Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music. ~Ronald Reagan
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  • AsSiMiLaTeD
    AsSiMiLaTeD Posts: 11,726
    edited March 2010
    So you're saying that if he doesn't get new speakers you're not going to hang out inside his house because his system is not up to your standard???

    Don't take this personally because I don't know you, but that sounds like a colossal of a **** thing to do. I realize we're trying to be more PC around here the last few days and not stir things up, but damn dude, do you realize how self-absorbed and immature that sounds?

    I'm not attacking, I'm seriously trying to show another viewpoint.
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  • bruss
    bruss Posts: 1,039
    edited March 2010
    i would just leave it alone. If it really bothers you start scoring some used gear on the cheap and give it to him.
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  • steveinaz
    steveinaz Posts: 19,536
    edited March 2010
    Tell him you know a source where he can get some good stuff, used.
    Source: Bluesound Node 2i - Preamp/DAC: Benchmark DAC2 DX - Amp: Parasound Halo A21 - Speakers: MartinLogan Motion 60XTi - Shop Rig: Yamaha A-S501 Integrated - Shop Spkrs: Elac Debut 2.0 B5.2
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  • swegyptian
    swegyptian Posts: 316
    edited March 2010
    concealer404 wrote: »
    I wish someone would criticize my setup. :(

    Your setup is terrible.
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  • concealer404
    concealer404 Posts: 7,440
    edited March 2010
    AsSiMiLaTeD wrote: »
    So you're saying that if he doesn't get new speakers you're not going to hang out inside his house because his system is not up to your standard???

    Don't take this personally because I don't know you, but that sounds like a colossal of a **** thing to do. I realize we're trying to be more PC around here the last few days and not stir things up, but damn dude, do you realize how self-absorbed and immature that sounds?

    I'm not attacking, I'm seriously trying to show another viewpoint.

    I don't really think it was that serious... At least... not serious enough to use the phrases "colossal ****," "self-absorbed," or "immature."

    But as always, i could be and very well might probably be wrong. That just seemed anything but PC to my admittedly feeble brain.
    I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.

    Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii

    Desk: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / ISK HD9999

    Office: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / Dynaco SCA-80Q / Paradigm Legend V.3

    HT: Denon AVR-X3400H / Sony UBP-X700 / RT16 / CS350LS / RT7 / SVS PB1000
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  • concealer404
    concealer404 Posts: 7,440
    edited March 2010
    swegyptian wrote: »
    Your setup is terrible.

    Your Camry is a 4-door family-hauler. ;):p
    I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.

    Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii

    Desk: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / ISK HD9999

    Office: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / Dynaco SCA-80Q / Paradigm Legend V.3

    HT: Denon AVR-X3400H / Sony UBP-X700 / RT16 / CS350LS / RT7 / SVS PB1000
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  • polrbehr
    polrbehr Posts: 2,830
    edited March 2010
    No way to do it, IMO.

    Hints aren't getting the point across, and he does not seem to care how much better another setup sounds over his.

    Now all you have to do is hope your friend doesn't check out this thread?... :eek:









    PS. I do like the idea of "lending" him some gear to try out; subtlety is important, though.
    So, are you willing to put forth a little effort or are you happy sitting in your skeptical poo pile?


    http://audiomilitia.proboards.com/
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  • AsSiMiLaTeD
    AsSiMiLaTeD Posts: 11,726
    edited March 2010
    concealer404 wrote: »
    I don't really think it was that serious... At least... not serious enough to use the phrases "colossal ****," "self-absorbed," or "immature."

    But as always, i could be and very well might probably be wrong. That just seemed anything but PC to my admittedly feeble brain.
    I wasn't being PC, that's the reason I mentioned it in the first place...
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  • AsSiMiLaTeD
    AsSiMiLaTeD Posts: 11,726
    edited March 2010
    Let's put it this way, if my friend told me he wasn't going to come hang out because my system wasn't up to his standards, I'd tell him to go f$ck himself
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  • Face
    Face Posts: 14,340
    edited March 2010
    polrbehr wrote: »
    No way to do it, IMO.

    Hints aren't getting the point across, and he does not seem to care how much better another setup sounds over his.
    You mean telling someone straight out that their rig is "OVERLY BRIGHT" isn't the right way to do it? :D;)
    "He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you." Friedrich Nietzsche
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  • concealer404
    concealer404 Posts: 7,440
    edited March 2010
    Ah... forget it. You want to hand the friend the beer or should i? :p
    I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.

    Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii

    Desk: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / ISK HD9999

    Office: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / Dynaco SCA-80Q / Paradigm Legend V.3

    HT: Denon AVR-X3400H / Sony UBP-X700 / RT16 / CS350LS / RT7 / SVS PB1000
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  • gtu2004
    gtu2004 Posts: 620
    edited March 2010
    it's like telling him that his wife is ugly and her BJ sucks
    Onkyo 805, RtiA5s, Csi5, Rti6s
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  • concealer404
    concealer404 Posts: 7,440
    edited March 2010
    gtu2004 wrote: »
    it's like telling him that his wife is ugly and her BJ sucks

    :eek::p
    I don't read the newsssspaperssss because dey aaaallllllllll...... have ugly print.

    Living Room: B&K Reference 5 S2 / Parasound HCA-1000A / Emotiva XDA-2 / Pioneer BDP-51FD / Paradigm 11se MKiii

    Desk: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / ISK HD9999

    Office: Schiit Magni 2 Uber / Schiit Modi 2 Uber / Dynaco SCA-80Q / Paradigm Legend V.3

    HT: Denon AVR-X3400H / Sony UBP-X700 / RT16 / CS350LS / RT7 / SVS PB1000
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  • obieone
    obieone Posts: 5,077
    edited March 2010
    LOL. I wonder if this will be an episode of "Intervention":p
    Someone needs some perspective;)
    I refuse to argue with idiots, because people can't tell the DIFFERENCE!
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  • maximillian
    maximillian Posts: 2,144
    edited March 2010
    I have to agree with AsSiMiLaTeD, if it's not a priority to him then who cares. Friendships are more than one particular hobby.

    Go ahead and ask him if he is interested in improving his setup. If he isn't then just drop it.

    If it means that much to you then buy him some Monitor 7's or 10's, or some cheaper R series, or current Monitor series, or used RTi bookshelves. Don't know what you have for speakers, are you willing to upgrade and give your old stuff to your bud? You could even pick up an inexpensive receiver or stereo amp from Ebay or on the FM. A good system could be put together for little coin.
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  • steveinaz
    steveinaz Posts: 19,536
    edited March 2010
    True, we sometimes forget as audiophile geeks that not everyone wants a fancy system. You could simply throw it out there casually that if he ever wanted to try something different, you could assist.

    Man you guys got sensitive friends...LOL

    I was setting up my assistants "system" last week in their new home and said, "dude, your speakers suck." He laughed in agreement, and handed me another beer.
    Source: Bluesound Node 2i - Preamp/DAC: Benchmark DAC2 DX - Amp: Parasound Halo A21 - Speakers: MartinLogan Motion 60XTi - Shop Rig: Yamaha A-S501 Integrated - Shop Spkrs: Elac Debut 2.0 B5.2
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  • nooshinjohn
    nooshinjohn Posts: 25,383
    edited March 2010
    Sounds like a great reason to upgrade your rig.... Give him, or sell him on the cheap, your old gearand replace your current setup with something even better.
    The Gear... Carver "Statement" Mono-blocks, Mcintosh C2300 Arcam AVR20, Oppo UDP-203 4K Blu-ray player, Sony XBR70x850B 4k, Polk Audio Legend L800 with height modules, L400 Center Channel Polk audio AB800 "in-wall" surrounds. Marantz MM7025 stereo amp. Simaudio Moon 680d DSD

    “When once a Republic is corrupted, there is no possibility of remedying any of the growing evils but by removing the corruption and restoring its lost principles; every other correction is either useless or a new evil.”— Thomas Jefferson
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  • nguyendot
    nguyendot Posts: 3,594
    edited March 2010
    AsSiMiLaTeD wrote: »
    Let's put it this way, if my friend told me he wasn't going to come hang out because my system wasn't up to his standards, I'd tell him to go f$ck himself

    Is that why you don't have any friends? :p
    Main Surround -
    Epson 8350 Projector/ Elite Screens 120" / Pioneer Elite SC-35 / Sunfire Signature / Focal Chorus 716s / Focal Chorus CC / Polk MC80 / Polk PSW150 sub

    Bedroom - Sharp Aquos 70" 650 / Pioneer SC-1222k / Polk RT-55 / Polk CS-250

    Den - Rotel RSP-1068 / Threshold CAS-2 / Boston VR-M60 / BDP-05FD
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  • Jstas
    Jstas Posts: 14,806
    edited March 2010
    Why do you even have to tell him anything about it?

    I just tell people I know who do similar things "Yeah, that's impressive alright but I'm not here to hear your stereo. I'm here to hang out with you and it's hard to do that when I can't hear myself think!" They can play it ear bleedingly loud when I'm not there.

    But honestly, if he likes your setup and compliments you on it, ask him if he'd like a similar setup. If he says yes, help him out. If he says no and he's happy with his then be happy for him as well.

    A real friend would either rejoice in their friend's success at finding something that makes them happy or help that friend find that success. Busting a friend down because of your own opinion about his stuff is not the really the way to go about influencing people and winning friends.
    Expert Moron Extraordinaire

    You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you!
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  • Huck344
    Huck344 Posts: 453
    edited March 2010
    I agree with Steveinaz. . . You guys do have some sensitive friends. I was at my buddy's new place last week. He's not an audiophile and laughs at me when I start telling him about my latest purchase. He started playing his music and I told him it sounded like ****. He laughed and said, "yeah, but I can still kick your **** in golf!" Good SQ isn't a big deal to him and he doesn't care.

    At the same time, I would want someone to tell me if my system didn't sound good and what I could do to improve it.
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