WHITEOUT (Blu-ray; Warner Bros./Dark Castle)

Mike LoManaco

Studio Name: Warner Bros. (Dark Castle)
MPAA Rating: R
Disc/Transfer Information: 1080p High Definition; 16X9
Tested Audio Track: English Dolby TrueHD 5.1
Director: Dominic Sena
Starring Cast: Kate Beckinsale, Tom Skerritt, Gabriel Macht


SYNOPSIS:

This was one of the worst, most ill-written and paced films I’ve experienced in some time, but the absolute best moment of Whiteout comes when the delightfully sexy and downright delicious Kate Beckinsale steps out of her clothes and strips down to a sports bra and ultra-mini boy short panties before getting into a shower…this chick’s body looks ridiculous and her **** in this sequence, which bends right over into the camera before she steps into the shower, redefines “amazing.”

Can you tell I’m a Beckinsale kind of guy? I have always thought this girl was an underrated sex symbol in modern Hollywood; she looked great in Van Helsing as the sexy but tough Princess Ana (or was it “Anna”?) and was just as delicious looking in Serendipity. But this Dominic Sena-helmed “thriller” simply failed on so many levels beyond Beckinsale’s casting…it actually had me watching my OPPO Blu-ray player’s elapsed time counter, wondering when the hour and forty minutes would arrive so I could take the disc out of the tray. To me, it was that bad. What Whiteout reminded me of was a loose hybrid of forgettable action/thrillers of the past couple of years such as Passengers irrespective of the fact that the trailers made it seem exciting. I don’t think the problem was with Sena on too many levels; it’s clear something went wrong with the writing on this one. A weak screenplay and story make for a plot genesis which simply becomes irrelevant and allows the audience to feel indifferent to anything that’s happening onscreen.

In a strange attempt to almost mimic the atmosphere and brooding desperation felt in 30 Days of Night, Dark Castle and Warner Bros. delved into the paranoia and isolation created in the Antarctic (in 30 Days of Night it was Alaska) when there’s a long period without sunlight. For sure, it makes for a creepy, unsettling mood ideal for horror and thriller settings, but it’s simply mishandled here. For a good example of horror done right in these environments, check out the seminal John Carpenter’s The Thing. In this thinly conceived plot, Beckinsale plays U.S. Marshal “Carrie” stationed in the Antarctic research center after an incident from her past forces her to seek “rehab” time in an isolated post. The opening frame of the film, depicting a plane full of Russians that end up being shot by one of their own comrades as the plane crashes into the snow of the Antarctic, obviously has ties to the remainder of the plot, but it’s poorly connected. The incident with the Russian plane takes place somewhere in the ‘50s, if my memory of the film serves, and then suddenly the action fast forwards to the present at the Antarctic research center.

When a murder takes place – seemingly for the very first time – on this continent, Beckinsale investigates and finds a lead that takes her to the buried Russian plane miles out in the snow-blanketed wilderness. Her investigation is a race against time, as the six months of winter and darkness approach, forcing most of the camp she’s at to evacuate. Somewhere along the way, the doctor at the station (played by a decrepit-looking Tom Skerritt) becomes a suspect in all this, and it has something to do with some special canisters which were aboard the Russian plane that had been taken. If you’re wondering what this all means, or what it even has to do with each other, don’t fret – you’re not alone. The pacing is ill-timed, the acting is atrocious and there’s no trace of suspense until you uncover a sub-plot involving a killer that’s wandering around the Antarctic research labs – and that doesn’t even keep you anywhere near the edge of your seat.

Whiteout seemed interesting from its trailers, as I can recall, but it is simply not entertaining in any sense of the term in my opinion. Sure, Kate Beckinsale looks cute and sexy in it (even when she’s getting her fingers cut off from a bad case of frostbite) and that sequence with her gorgeous rear end in the beginning is eye candy enough, but the film is simply forgettable. I don’t even recommend a rental.


VIDEO QUALITY ANALYSIS:

Warner’s 1080p Blu-ray transfer of the almost-direct-to-video Whiteout has some standout moments, mainly the up-close shots of surgery wounds on dead bodies, which look horrifyingly real and detailed on the disc. There is a thin veil of film grain running in the background of the transfer but it’s certainly not distracting. The outdoor snow sequences and shots of the Antarctic locales are clean enough, and facial close-ups are realistically detailed and vibrant – all but Beckinsale’s. For some reason, her facial close-ups seemed to be marred with a waxy, flat and detail-less quality that didn’t match the rest of the detail immersion of the transfer.

There’s no real color saturation to speak of, in that the film takes place in cold, snowy and icy environments; still, the stark, dreary atmosphere – captured so well in the aforementioned John Carpenter’s The Thing and 30 Days of Night – is rendered nearly immaculate in terms of clarity and image stability.

AUDIO QUALITY ANALYSIS:

Finally, Warner has begun issuing its Blu-ray releases with a much-needed correction to the defaulting audio tracks. Many early Warner releases were defaulting to the lossy Dolby Digital tracks on TrueHD-equipped titles after the discs loaded, making no sense whatsoever as home theater enthusiasts would then have to go into the disc’s menu and switch to the lossless version on the fly, taking viewers completely out of the experience for those few moments. Happily, Whiteout automatically defaulted to its English Dolby TrueHD 5.1 mix. Unfortunately, the track was nothing to really speak of.

Befitting its poor overall presentation (film and plot-wise), the audio mix here was rather uninvolving, lacking visceral punch that’s typical of a new TrueHD track. Of course, this could have been purposeful artistic decision, but the audio simply didn’t wow me. There wasn’t much low LFE, nor was there much aggressive multi-channel usage. Dialogue was rendered in a low-level output fashion from the center channel, and the overall volume power of the mix was a bit weak.

I say stay away from this one, unless you or your better half are really curious, and then try and find a cheap DVD copy to rent. I’ll have two other reviews up soon, Law-Abiding Citizen and Couple’s Retreat, so hopefully they will fare better and I’ll have some more positive material to recommend for you.

wutadumsn23

Didn't see it in Blu, but it was a pretty good movie, even in "Regular D"

-Jeff

Mike LoManaco

wutadumsn23 wrote: »

Didn't see it in Blu, but it was a pretty good movie, even in "Regular D"

-Jeff

Wow, Jeff...I gotta disagree with ya here. I thought it was awful.

wutadumsn23

Mike LoManaco wrote: »

Wow, Jeff...I gotta disagree with ya here. I thought it was awful.

By no means was it the movie of the year Mike, but it was worth the price of the rental. I have seen worse, lol.

-Jeff

Mike LoManaco

wutadumsn23 wrote: »

By no means was it the movie of the year Mike, but it was worth the price of the rental. I have seen worse, lol.

-Jeff

Hey, my good friend, to each his own. I suppose it's worth a rental, as I said in the review, to those remotely interested, but it simply wasn't a good picture.

But I agree there has been worse.

wutadumsn23

Mike LoManaco wrote: »

to each his own

That's what it's all about Mike, lol.

-Jeff

danz1906

It was OK at best,,,,,,,,,,,,,2stars

thsmith

danz1906 wrote: »

It was OK at best,,,,,,,,,,,,,2stars

Agree

concealer404

Yet another movie that got a solid "meh."

Ron-P

The thing about Whiteout was Kate in her tighty-whities...mmmm mmmm good!

Mike LoManaco

Ron-P wrote: »

The thing about Whiteout was Kate in her tighty-whities...mmmm mmmm good!

but the absolute best moment of Whiteout comes when the delightfully sexy and downright delicious Kate Beckinsale steps out of her clothes and strips down to a sports bra and ultra-mini boy short panties before getting into a shower…this chick’s body looks ridiculous and her **** in this sequence, which bends right over into the camera before she steps into the shower, redefines “amazing.”

shepx2

kuntasensei wrote: »

incidentally, do you know how you can tell that no one reads your long reviews? when you have to quote your own review in the same thread.

lol

Mike LoManaco

I knew it was a matter of time until I heard from the usual bunch of thread-derailing yahoos...I only saw Mr. kuntasensei's response based on the next member's idiotic reply to it of "LOL." I otherwise have him on the trusty ignore list.

Here's a little tip, regardless of what you think of me, my reviews or what you claim you happen to know about who reads them or why: Quoting a statement from my own review doesn't "prove" that no one reads my reviews (it's apparent plenty DO BTW) -- I used the quote merely to agree with what was being said about Beckinsale's **** in that scene. There is no proof that the member making the statement about Beckinsale didn't read the review -- he merely commented on the popularity of her shower sequence and how she looked in the panties.

It never fails. The same bunch simply coming into a thread that's concentrating on a DVD or BD review and posting derailing comments that are meant just to make a member look bad. At any rate, I could really care less what you think of me or my work, because at heart I know I am a very good person and I am confident of my own abilities. These constant pot-shots by you and the other select few members that have constantly harassed me in here for absolutely no reason other than not wanting someone to review films and discuss them via an internet message forum is, as I have said in the past, pathetically immature and most likely the result of not liking oneself.

Ever hear the expression that if someone constantly harasses another they are compensating for how they feel about their own being?

Unsubscribing from this thread, as well, because of the blatant off topic behavior. Those who have PM'ed be about the review, thank you and thanks for reading. I appreciate your comments and the discussions we've had about Whiteout in private.

Jstas

Hi all, back again. Don't mind me, I just gotta take a dump.

I don't read this yahoo's posts, I just look at the pictures.

Speaking of which, I just had some vanilla pudding with bananas in it and it was totally freakin' awesome!

There's a butterscotch pudding cup with my name on it as soon as I get done defecating on this thread!


As far as my "being", yeah, I read the FIRST thread A MONTH ago. I find it amazing that you are so self-absorbed that you can't just participate in the other thread. It's honestly that simple. Before you have verbal diarrhea all over the forum, use the SEARCH tool, find the thread that's already been started and POST THERE. Then, 90% of the people who give you a hard time will stop.

kuntasensei

Jstas wrote: »

As far as my "being", yeah, I read the FIRST thread A MONTH ago. I find it amazing that you are so self-absorbed that you can't just participate in the other thread. It's honestly that simple. Before you have verbal diarrhea all over the forum, use the SEARCH tool, find the thread that's already been started and POST THERE. Then, 90% of the people who give you a hard time will stop.

My point exactly. I have no issues with Mike, other than he treats the forum like his own personal review site instead of participating in the existing threads. I even gave him advice on his CSi30 in the speaker forum... which he will never see, because he has me on ignore. In fact, I've helped him out with several issues in the past here. He keeps wanting to characterize it as people being immature, but the bottom line is that he refuses to participate in this forum in the manner that the rest of us do - by using the search function and posting in the existing threads.

Ricardo

Ron-P wrote: »

The thing about Whiteout was Kate in her tighty-whities...mmmm mmmm good!

....

Ricardo

Mike LoManaco wrote: »

but the absolute best moment of Whiteout comes when the delightfully sexy and downright delicious Kate Beckinsale steps out of her clothes and strips down to a sports bra and ultra-mini boy short panties before getting into a shower…this chick’s body looks ridiculous and her **** in this sequence, which bends right over into the camera before she steps into the shower, redefines “amazing.”

....

Ricardo

Ron-P wrote: »

The thing about Whiteout was Kate in her tighty-whities...mmmm mmmm good!

oh.....

Ricardo

Mike LoManaco wrote: »

but the absolute best moment of Whiteout comes when the delightfully sexy and downright delicious Kate Beckinsale steps out of her clothes and strips down to a sports bra and ultra-mini boy short panties before getting into a shower…this chick’s body looks ridiculous and her **** in this sequence, which bends right over into the camera before she steps into the shower, redefines “amazing.”

oh my.....

Ricardo

Ron-P wrote: »

The thing about Whiteout was Kate in her tighty-whities...mmmm mmmm good!

oh la la....

Ricardo

Mike LoManaco wrote: »

but the absolute best moment of Whiteout comes when the delightfully sexy and downright delicious Kate Beckinsale steps out of her clothes and strips down to a sports bra and ultra-mini boy short panties before getting into a shower…this chick’s body looks ridiculous and her **** in this sequence, which bends right over into the camera before she steps into the shower, redefines “amazing.”

and on, and on....

kuntasensei

Then maybe you should start enforcing him posting in existing threads so we can stop beating that particular drum, Patrick. Until then, I'd rather risk a ban. No one should have to ignore him because he continues to shirk commonly accepted forum etiquette.

MrNightly

kuntasensei wrote: »

Then maybe you should start enforcing him posting in existing threads so we can stop beating that particular drum, Patrick. Until then, I'd rather risk a ban. No one should have to ignore him because he continues to shirk commonly accepted forum etiquette.

I will second this.