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Micah Cohen
Posts: 2,022
The **** Joke Thread Begins
Rule One: "****" should be the "dirtiest" word in your joke.
An old couple had been married for over thirty years. Every morning the old man would wake up and give off an enormous ****, much to his long-suffering wife's annoyance.
"You'll **** your guts out one of these days," she said.
After a particularly bad week, she decided to have her revenge. She got up early and carefully placed some bloody wet turkey giblets in the bed next to the old man's butt.
A short while later, while downstairs making breakfast, she heard his usual morning **** reverberate through the floorboards. This was followed by a scream.
Twenty minutes later her husband came downstairs. He appeared pale and rather shaken.
"You were right," he said. "I finally did **** my guts out. But by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"
Rule One: "****" should be the "dirtiest" word in your joke.
An old couple had been married for over thirty years. Every morning the old man would wake up and give off an enormous ****, much to his long-suffering wife's annoyance.
"You'll **** your guts out one of these days," she said.
After a particularly bad week, she decided to have her revenge. She got up early and carefully placed some bloody wet turkey giblets in the bed next to the old man's butt.
A short while later, while downstairs making breakfast, she heard his usual morning **** reverberate through the floorboards. This was followed by a scream.
Twenty minutes later her husband came downstairs. He appeared pale and rather shaken.
"You were right," he said. "I finally did **** my guts out. But by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"
Post edited by Micah Cohen on
Comments
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What would you call the definition of surprise?
Answer: A **** with a lump in it.Expert Moron Extraordinaire
You're just jealous 'cause the voices don't talk to you! -
Doctor: "What seems to be the problem?"
Patient: "Doc, I've got the farts. I mean I **** all the time."
The Doctor nods, "Hmm."
Patient: "My farts do not stink and you can't hear them. It's just that I **** all the time. Look, we've been talking here for about 10 minutes and I've farted five times. You didn't hear them and you don't smell them, do you?"
"Hmm," says the Doctor.
He picks up his pad and writes out a prescription.
The patient is thrilled "Great doc. This prescription, will it really clear up my farts?"
"No," sighs the Doctor, "The prescription is to clear your sinuses. Next week I want you back here for a hearing test.""Just because youre offended doesnt mean youre right." - Ricky Gervais
"For those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible." - Stuart Chase
"Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago." - Bernard Berenson -
Confucius say:
Man who **** in church sit in own pew. -
A new couple had just finished a fine Mexican dinner when they started getting amorous. While playing around she found out her new boyfriend had never done a 69. After he agreed to try it, they went at it very energetically. While doing it she farted. A bit later she farted again. A little later she asked how he liked it. It’s okay he replied, but I cannot take another 67 of those.Lumin X1 file player, Westminster Labs interconnect cable
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